Flip Flop and Fly
by The Red Dragons Order
Summary: What if Uchiha Itachi didn’t grow up as an Uchiha? What if he didn’t grow up as a shinobi at all? What if Konoha and the Uchiha Clan wanted him back? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I started another story. I must be mad. This is an idea which has been floating around in my head for ages now, and it just wouldn't leave me alone. Anyways, please enjoy and review at the end.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter One**

Itachi smirked and placed his cards on the table. He had won the game once again, and the other players groaned and sighed in exasperation, but there was a definite note of fondness in their mannerisms.

"I swear, one day I'm going to figure out how you manage to cheat so well, Itachi," Rodriguez promised as he watched the younger man pick up his winnings.

"Simple mathematics and nothing else," Itachi replied smugly and looked around the table. "Anyone up for round two?" he asked and held up the deck of cards, ready to shuffle.

"Forget it," Garcia muttered. "I want to keep some of my hard-earned wages."

"You're only going to spend them as soon as you get home," Rodriguez pointed out with a grin.

"For your information, I'm going to be spending my entire week-long, long-deserved vacation lazing about at home, not moving a single inch." Garcia replied and stuck out her tongue. She turned to look at another man sitting further away. "Now I understand why you didn't want to join the game, Parker. You knew this little genius here would win, didn't you?"

Parker didn't even look up from the book he was reading. "Of course I did."

"You could have warned us!" Leigh muttered.

"That wouldn't have been half as fun," Parker replied, casting the four card-players an amused look.

Rodriguez sighed. "Regardless, I am going to win against you, Itachi!"

Henson and Collins chuckled and looked up from their game of chess. "You know you will never achieve that." Henson said. "Itachi here is far too smart for you."

"And that says a lot when you remember that Itachi is only 17, and you're 35." Collins added.

Itachi watched all this bickering, and couldn't help but smile. These people were his friends and equals despite the large difference in age. They joked together, they teased each other, they helped each other, and they worked together. Rodriguez, Garcia and Henson were wonderful people, and were always ready to do their share of the work and more. Collins was responsible for the press, and Leigh was the computer whiz of the group. Lastly there was Parker. He was the leader of the group and also the oldest one. It was he who had discovered Itachi and brought him to the group despite his young age. They were the best Criminal Behaviour Analysis unit the FBI had, and they were proud of it!

Itachi Kishimoto truly was a real genius. He had shot through the school-system almost faster than one could blink, and therefore he had graduated a heck of a lot earlier than anyone had ever expected. After deciding at a young age that he wanted to become a profiler, he had worked hard for that goal, and here he was, amongst these wonderful people, and on his way home from their latest case.

"So, how are you going to spend the vacation, Itachi?" Rodriguez asked.

The teenager blinked himself out of his thoughts, and replied. "I'm going back home. It's been almost six months since I last saw grandpa and grandma. I miss them."

"Don't tell me you're going to spend all the time reading again. You know more stuff than the entire group!" Collins said.

"No, I'm going to follow Garcia's example and relax." Itachi answered. "Perhaps I'll take out my old guitar even."

"You know everything about the job, you are one of the best sharpshooters in the unit, you play the guitar, you know how to dance, _and_ you can cheat at poker! Is there anything you can't or don't know, Itachi?" Garcia sighed.

"Martial arts," Itachi deadpanned. "My grandpa runs a dojo, and he always wanted me to take over, but I never did get any good at it. The only thing I learned was to duck out of the way."

"That's a valuable skill as well," Parker said and turned a new page in his book.

Everyone laughed or chuckled, and then settled down for the rest of the trip back to the FBI HQs in Washington D.C.

**I**

It was raining heavily, yet still the streets of Chinatown, New York, weren't completely deserted. People were running hurriedly to and fro in an attempt to get home before they were completely soaked. Vendors were gathering their wares, and shops were closing down seeing as few sane people would be out in this weather, though they would open up later on when the rain was over. Itachi was almost squirming as the cab drove through the streets. He was finally back home, and he planned to stay here for the entire week. Gods, how he had missed this place, and he had missed his home and family even more. Said building was now coming up, and the cabby started to slow down, and finally pulled over.

"There ya go, Kishimoto's Dojo." The driver said, then rattled off the price.

"Thanks, and keep the change." The teenager handed the driver the money, got his bag from the trunk, then hurried up the steps, and into the house. He discarded his coat and bag by the door, took off his shoes, then proceeded through the Japanese-styled house, looking for either of his adoptive grandparents. Yes, adoptive. Itachi was adopted by the Kishimoto pair sixteen years ago. The people at the orphanage didn't know where Itachi came from, nor who his parents were, they had simply found him on their doorstep. One of the workers, a half-Japanese woman, had named him when she saw the weasel sown in on a corner of the blanked Itachi had been found wrapped in.

"I'm home! Hello! Grandma? Grandpa?" he called out, but got no reply. The house was completely silent. Usually his grandfather would've attacked him by now, only to sail by when Itachi avoided the attack. Then his grandmother would appear and scold her husband, before she turned her attention to Itachi and smothered him with kisses and hugs.

Something on the floor caught his attention. It was a trail of coloured paper which led him to the doorway leading into the living room. There were two reasons for this, as far as he could see. One: his grandparents were going to throw a surprise party for him, or two: someone had interrupted them right in the middle of preparing for said surprise party. The former was more likely than the latter, Itachi thought, but still he slowly reached into his holster and pulled out his gun. It was better to be safe than sorry.

With the gun in his hand, he walked into the dark living room but kept close to the entrance in case he needed to make a quick getaway. "Hello? Anyone here?" he called.

Suddenly the lights went on, and several people shouted: "Welcome home, Itachi!"

Itachi relaxed, and discretely put away the weapon. He grinned at the gathered people. "You shouldn't have!"

An elderly Japanese woman stepped forwards, and pushed him into the closest chair. "Of course we should! You're my grandson, and you deserve it! An FBI agent at such a young age! Here, have some dango!" she pushed the sweet into his hands.

"Thanks, grandma. Hello Misao!"

"We've been following your career closely, Itachi-kun. You're very good at what you do!" Misao said with a grin. She was one of the few friends Itachi had in his early childhood that hadn't at all been scared away by his superior intellect. She held out a neatly-wrapped box. "Here you go. It's not much, but I think you'll enjoy it."

Itachi accepted it, took off the wrapping, then jumped up and hugged Misao when he saw what it was. "You're a saving angel, Misao-chan!"

"Yeah, well, I remember you telling me that you never had any time to get any whilst on work and how much you missed it, so…" she trailed off, and watched with a grin as Itachi eagerly devoured her present. "I've heard of people being hooked on drugs, but you're the only one I know who's hooked on pocky."

Itachi looked up at her, one of the sticks half-way to his mouth. "Pocky is god's gift to men." He declared and continued munching, the dango nearly forgotten. But it wasn't completely forgotten, and small hands reached up to grab the treat. Itachi looked down at the perpetrator. "I thought you were too old to sneak around like that, Shinta?"

The boy stuck out his tongue. "Not when it comes to dango. And you're only seven years older than me, and look at how you act around pocky! So _nyah_!"

"Respect your elders, brat!" Itachi laughed and playfully tried to keep the dango out of the boy's reach.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING!" A new voice shouted, and it was followed by the appearance of an elderly man. Said elderly man then promptly tried to punch Itachi, but the teenager easily avoided the hit. "When are you going to take over the dojo?"

"Never."

"Wrong answer! Attack!"

Itachi avoided the attack, and sighed in exasperation, though there was a smile on his face. "Why can't someone else in the family take over? I mean, Kaoru-nee-san has a son, and Yuriko-nee-san has two! Why me?"

The elderly Mr Kishimoto stopped up. "Because I say so?" he said, though it sounded more like a question.

"Idiot." Mrs Kishimoto muttered fondly. "Sit down at the dinner table everyone, and I will start bringing out the food."

"I'll help, mother." Yuriko and Kaoru volunteered whilst their husbands, kids and everyone else went to find their places at the table.

"Itachi, how long are you staying?" Misao said from beside him.

"For a week." He replied. "How have you all been whilst I've been gone?"

"Pretty good. Old Chang-san is still running her teashop, Wu-san is still complaining about the government, and your grandfather's dojo is getting pretty popular."

Itachi nodded as he listened to what Misao said, and also observed the people around the table. It felt wonderful to be home. Sure, he liked his work, and he liked the people he worked with, but only when he was here could he truly relax. There were no dead bodies, no reports, no crime scene photos, nothing but his own family. This was his little safe haven, and he hoped it would always stay that way.

**I**

The next day dawned bright and without a cloud in the sky. People opened their shops, children hurried to school, and cars filled the streets almost to bursting. Itachi was not aware of this as he was still comfortably snuggled up in his blankets, and had no plan to leave them until dinner time. This was his first chance in God knew how long to sleep in, and he wouldn't have many others once he returned to work, so he was going to make this count. Once he did get up he ate some cereal for breakfast, and headed out of the house. Today he was planning to simply walk around, and see what had been changed since he was last here. Along the way he was sure to meet a lot of people he knew, and those were certain to stop him for a chat, so he estimated that he would be lucky if he got back in time for dinner.

'_It's good to be back!'_ Itachi thought happily as he greeted yet another person. "Good day to you, Mrs Chang!"

"Itachi! Wonderful to see you! How long are you staying?" the old woman smiled.

"A week."

"Be sure to drop by whilst you're here, alright?"

"Of course." Itachi replied and waved to her as he went on his way. A little further down the street he was bowled over by a young boy, and he groaned from his position on the ground. He had hoped to avoid any bruises this week seeing as he somehow always managed to receive one or two whilst at work. "Watch where you're going, brat."

The kid in question started apologising in rapid Japanese. "-I'm sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going! Sorry!-"

Itachi sighed. Although he had learned Japanese due to the Kishimotos – and even a good deal of Chinese – he hadn't spoken it in ages, but now he dragged it up from his memory. "-It's alright. Just watch where you're going next time, alright?-"

"-Hai!-" the kid nodded eagerly and accepted Itachi's help to get up.

Although the kid's hand was small, the grip was stronger than Itachi had expected, and he could feel calluses although he couldn't see any once he released the other's hand. "-Why were you running like a headless chicken, anyway?-"

"-I was trying to find the Kishimoto Dojo! We're new in the area, and a neighbour said that there was a dojo nearby, but the directions weren't the best.-"

"-Why are you searching for the dojo?-"

"-I want to join!-" the boy said eagerly. "-I've always wanted to, but there weren't any close to us while we were living in Japan, and now that I have the chance to I want to see what it's like!-"

Itachi blinked in surprise. Judging by the calluses on the boy's palms, he'd say the boy had been doing some form of martial arts his entire life. "-Er, right. to get to the dojo you have to walk down this street, take the second street to the right, and it's just around the block. You can't miss it.-" The seventeen-year-old pointed as he explained.

"-Thank you, onii-san!-" the boy shouted, did a short bow, then ran off again.

Itachi stared after him for a moment. For a second he could've sworn he saw the kid flicker and a shadow of a grown up man appear in his place, but he disregarded it. _'I must be hallucinating. Little sleep and stress will do that to a person. Either that, or Leigh's been showing me too many of those damn sci-fi movies he always brings to work.'_

With a stretch and a last look in the direction the boy had taken, Itachi shook his head and continued on his way. He was fully determined to enjoy what was left of the day, and he'd be damned if he let some stupid hallucination get in the way of that.

For some strange reason Itachi couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching him.

**I**

Hours later Itachi found himself returning home to the dojo. It was getting dark now, but there were still lots of people out on the street, and Itachi felt relaxed. Especially since he had been munching on differently-flavoured pocky all day long.

Humming a silly little tune, he opened the door and went inside. "I'm home!" he yelled, but just like yesterday there was no reply. Itachi sighed and grumbled. "Not again."

He took off his shoes, then proceeded through the house. He left the box of pocky on the kitchen counter, and noted that the stove was still on and the dinner was getting burned. It was unlike Mrs Kishimoto to let the stove stay unattended, especially if something was cooking. Hastily turning it off, he looked around a little more cautious than before. He suddenly got a very bad feeling about this entire situation. The same kind of feeling he got when the Criminal Behaviour Analysis unit was working on a tough case, especially when the case had a short time limit. Without much thought he brought out his trusty pocket-knife– and cursed himself for leaving his gun locked away in his room – before he continued to search through the house.

There were a couple of broken things littering the hallway, one of those was a vase that Itachi had bought with his very first pay check and had given Mrs Kishimoto. Several pictures had been disturbed, and there were dents in the walls which signified that there had been a serious fight.

The clues led him towards the dark living room, and Itachi suddenly had a bad sense of déjà vu.

"Grandma? Grandpa? Come on, people, we had the surprise party yesterday. There's no need to repeat that experience every day for the entire week. Hello?" it was probably very stupid of him to announce his presence like this, but he had already called out once before, and the perpetrator – or perpetra_tors_ if there was more than one – would most likely get suspicious if he hadn't. This way he hoped to have a small chance at surprising the bad guys, and getting the upper hand.

'_Too bad that the phone's in the living room.'_ Itachi thought to himself as he got closer, though he stuck to the wall as much as he could. _'And why the hell did my mobile have to die on me just today? Next time I'm taking Parker's advice to make sure the damn thing has enough power.'_

Just to be sure he called out once more before he reached the entrance to the living room. "Grandma, you left the oven on. And grandpa, if this is one of your stupid ideas, I swear I'll-" he cut himself off with a surprised yelp as something tripped him up, causing him to fall to the floor. He had barely landed before several pairs of hands rolled him over, grabbed his pocket-knife, and tied his hands and legs securely with what seemed like very thin steel wire, though he wasn't too sure about it. Either way, Itachi was bound and defenceless faster than one could say 'pocky', and he couldn't do anything but blink the dots out of his eyes as the lights were suddenly turned on.

"What the hell?" the teenager muttered from his position on the floor.

There were five of the perpetrators in the room, three of these had been the ones to trip him and tie him up. All of them were wearing a weird black, short sleeved, long-necked uniform and almost shoulder-long, fingerless gloves in the same colour. Over this they wore white armour and wrist-guards, and each had a katana strapped to their backs, a pouch or two strapped to their belts, and a holder for something – probably a knife or two – strapped to their thighs. Not only that but every single one of them wore a white mask with red markings, and all of the masks represented different animals from what Itachi could figure out.

"Itachi! Itachi, are you alright!" the voice of Mrs Kishimoto called, and brought the teens attention to the elderly couple. They were both tied up and sitting comfortably on the couch, though Mr Kishimoto was knocked out and had a lovely bruise forming on his forehead. Neither of the two were seriously hurt, and it calmed Itachi to see them both so unharmed.

"Itachi!" Mrs Kishimoto called again, a slight note of panic entering her voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about, grandma." Itachi told her, then he focused on the animal-masked people in the room. "What the hell is going on here?"

"-So they named you Itachi, did they?-" a voice spoke up in Japanese, and a sixth man stepped forwards from the shadows. He was dressed differently than the animal-masked ones. His uniform was dark blue, and he had a green flak jacket on. There was a symbol on the shoulder of the uniform, a four-pointed star with some sort of white-and-red fan in the middle. The man also had approximately shoulder-long, dark brown hair, and a face which said that he frowned more than he smiled.

"-It's a good, worthy name.-" The man added.

"-Who are you people? What do you want with us, and why the hell are you here?-" Itachi asked, staring the man straight into the eyes without fear. As an FBI agent he put his family in danger, but all agents were very careful about their personal information, so the only way people could get said information was if they hacked into the database. And that would be anything but easy seeing as the database was protected with all the latest systems and whatnot. _'They have to be very good if they managed to hack into the database without getting caught. They're definitely professionals.'_

The man stared down at Itachi for a minute, before he answered. "-The elderly couple are free to go as they please, it's you we're interested in, Itachi.-"

"-That still leaves the other two questions: who are you, and why are you here?-"

"-Patience, patience, boy, do not talk back to your elders. It's disrespectful.-"

Itachi growled. "-Answer the questions!-"

"-I am Uchiha Fugaku,-" the man said. "-I am your biological father, and I am here to bring you back to where you belong, Uchiha Itachi.-"

**I**

There, please tell me what you think.

I know this first chapter was kinda slow, and I sincerely hope I didn't get anything wrong when it comes to the FBI stuff. That part was influenced by the TV-series '_Criminal Minds_', other than that it has no connection to it. The speed will pick up next chapter if enough people want it.

Fellow author in crime,

The Red Dragons Order


	2. Chapter 2

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I'm glad that people liked the first chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one as well!

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Two**

"-I am Uchiha Fugaku,-" the man said. "-I am your biological father, and I am here to bring you back to where you belong, Uchiha Itachi.-"

Itachi stared, stared and continued to stare.

Five minutes later he was still staring.

After having stared some more, he finally blinked, opened his mouth to say something, realised that he had nothing to say, and closed it again. This process was then repeated several times.

For the first time in heaven knew how long, Itachi found himself at a loss for words and brain process. Apparently both skills had deemed this the perfect moment to take a long-overdue vacation, and had abandoned him to the tender mercies of the "Gaping Like A Fish Out Of Water" syndrome.

"… Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

Everyone in the room blinked out of various reasons, and stared at Itachi – who was still lying on the floor, which was getting rather uncomfortable.

"-Excuse me?-" the man who had introduced himself as Uchiha Fugaku, said.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Itachi repeated.

"-Yes, I got that, but what does it mean?-"

"-It doesn't really mean anything.-"

Uchiha Fugaku's eyes narrowed suspiciously at that. "-Then why do you say it?-"

"-Because I don't know what else to say!-" Itachi growled, groaned and let his head fall to the floor with a thud. "-Damn it, what the hell do you expect me to say or do? Jump into your arms? Cry in joy? Frickin' hell, man, you just popped out of bleedin' nowhere, and expect me to believe some cock-and-bull story about you being my biological father without presenting any evidence! Not to mention that you haven't exactly given me a good first impression, you know?-" the teen pointedly nodded towards his grandmother and grandfather.

For some strange reason Itachi had the feeling that the animal-masked people stationed around the room, found the scene funny. He also had a clear indication that Uchiha Fugaku did not, and that pleased him for some reason.

The displeased man in question did his best to ignore everything, and instead pulled out a piece of paper from an inner pocket of his west. He then crouched down in front of Itachi, and presented it to the teen. "-Your birth certificate.-"

Itachi stared, and privately noted that he was doing a lot of that today. When he next spoke, his words were slow and even, said in a tone as if he was speaking to a three year old child. "-Do you honestly think that a simple birth certificate is enough to convince me the slightest that you are my biological father?-"

Apparently the man had thought just that, for now he started to frown in displeasure, although his eyes showed a bit of surprise. He was obviously not used to someone questioning him. "-What more could you want?-"

"-A DNA-test,-" Itachi said without blinking. "-And after that some huge amounts of explaining – that is, _if_ the test comes out positive.-" Here he had caught the other man in a trap. If Uchiha Fugaku refused to do this, then Itachi could be almost 99 percent sure that the man was lying through his teeth. On the other hand, if the test went through there would be a whole new set of troubles to deal with no matter the results of the test.

"-When the DNA-test comes back positive, and I explain everything you wish to know, you will then come with us to where you belong?-" The displeased man said, although it was more of an assumption than a question.

"-I never said that!-" Itachi protested. "-It ain't that easy, matey!-"

A glare was sent his way, but the older man didn't push the matter further at the time. "-We can conduct the DNA-test right now. One of my acquaintances here in this city can do it.-"

"-Like hell!-" the teen growled, his own eyes narrowing. "-It'll be conducted by someone of my choosing. I'm not trusting you people with something like that! If there's one thing you've managed to do it is to prove to me that you aren't trustworthy at all. Honestly! You people really haven't left me with a good first impression, what with breaking and entering my house, attacking my grandparents, and attacking me and tying me up. It's getting mighty uncomfortable lying here like this, you know!-"

Uchiha Fugaku was truly getting agitated right now, a twitching muscle on his forehead testifying to his feelings. But he nodded to the two animal-masked people standing over Itachi, and the two quickly untied all the wires although they didn't return the pocket knife. Itachi sat up and started rubbing his sore wrists and ankles, all the time muttering about insane bastards and adding similarly flattering adjectives.

Mr and Mrs Kishimoto noticeably stayed right where they were, their binds not removed, and several of the animal-masked people stepped closer to the elderly couple in a clear message: behave or they die. It certainly gave Itachi a lot of choices on what to do. Note the heavy sarcasm, please.

"-Well?-" Uchiha Fugaku raised an eyebrow pointedly.

Itachi sighed. "-It's late, and I'm not sure that my friend in the CSI is still at work – or awake for that matter. However, if the guy has too much work to deal with, then the entire thing is off – not that I remember ever really agreeing to do this in the first place – and you and your charming friends skip away back to wherever it is that you came from. Family or not, I will call the police on you if you continue to bother me after this.-"

The older man clearly didn't feel that this would be the case, but didn't say anything. He simply watched as Itachi finally got to his feet, and then watched with hawk-like eyes as the teenager walked a bit unsteadily (one of his legs had fallen asleep during his captivity) towards the phone.

Itachi punched the number, and waited. It didn't take long before someone picked up at the other side.

"Welcome to Cannibal Cove! Our motto is and always will be: you kill 'em, we grill 'em! We do raw, medium or well roasted, just tell us how you like it! How may I help you?"

"Cut the crap, Speedle." Itachi said, his eyes never leaving the displeased face of Uchiha Fugaku as he spoke. "I'm currently really not in the mood to exchange insanities with the local mad scientist."

There was a silence on the other end. "You really are in deep shit if you don't want to do that. Alright, what is it?"

"I need you to perform a DNA-test for me."

"Sure," came the reply. "It's been quiet here lately, thank god for that. Official test or not?"

"It's of a personal nature."

"Aaaah, I get it," Speedle's voice was understanding.

Itachi blinked. "You do?"

"Of course I do, and remember, man, that no matter what happens I am your friend – as long as the connection between us doesn't reach the media's ears, because then my career would be shot to hell."

"… Are you sure that you understand the situation?" the teen asked somewhat hesitantly.

Speedle snorted on the other side of the line. "Of course I do! It takes no great Sherlock Holmes to figure out that your girlfriend got pregnant, and now you want to verify if it's your child or if she's been cheating on you. Come to think of it, I never knew you had a girlfriend! How could you keep something like that from me, Itachi? I thought we were friends! I thought you were asexual seeing as your love-life was nonexistent! So, who is the girl? Is it that Misao-chick you showed me a picture of?"

Itachi stared at the phone as the other man continued ranting. The staring was seemingly becoming a habit lately. "You know, this is a perfectly sound reason why you will never advance through the CSI-ranks, Speedle. You jump to conclusions far too fast."

"I think I've been told that a couple of times already." Speedle replied, a grin in his voice. "So, if it isn't to check if you're the father of a child, then what is this about?"

The teen sighed, his eyes once again focusing on Uchiha Fugaku. "I have a man here who's insisting that he's my biological father." He said simply.

There was a yelp, a crash and then a long silence from the other end of the phone. It took some time before Speedle replied. "Out of all things it could've been, I wasn't expecting that one."

All Itachi could think of was: _'I need a new set of friends. Preferably sane ones this time around.'_

**II**

Whilst waiting for the results of the DNA-tests the Kishimoto dojo found itself besieged by Uchiha Fugaku and his animal-masked friends who still hadn't introduced themselves. Itachi and his grandparents were kept under strict surveillance, and nothing happened which the weird animal-masked people didn't know about.

Itachi had used this time in more or less confinement to observe the people that held his family hostage, and especially his allegedly biological father, and he quickly noticed several things. One was that the animal-masked people used some sort of sign-language to communicate with each other, never once did one of them speak out loud – at least not in the vicinity of Itachi and his family. The second thing he noticed was that these people moved like warriors. It had been a clear indication that they were well-trained when they had managed to get into the dojo and overpower Mr Kishimoto and then Itachi himself without trouble, and the way they moved further emphasized that. And they were both insanely fast and strong, though they didn't look it. This in turn made the people very dangerous, probably with in-depth training as ninja, as Mr Kishimoto had remarked once he had regained consciousness and the situation had been explained to him. Thusly Itachi was careful not to annoy them. Too much.

The weird ninja-wannabes made observations of their own, and Itachi had more or less guessed what those were. They saw Mr and Mrs Kishimoto as an elderly couple, and as absolutely no threat to themselves and their mission. They saw Misao as an annoying girl who just wouldn't give up, even when Itachi told her not to come visiting them anymore. They saw the dojo as something unimportant, and had forbidden any classes to be held until everything was dealt with. And most of all, they saw Itachi himself as a rather eccentric, clumsy and weird individual, and Itachi intended to keep it that way. It was better to let the people underestimate him, thusly giving him a slight chance of escape if needed.

The point to all of this was to say that the three usual residents of the Kishimoto dojo weren't happy campers. At all.

When the DNA-test results finally arrived, Itachi found himself staring once again.

After having stared for another while, he quickly got on the phone and called Speedle. "What the hell is the meaning of this, Speedle!" he roared into the phone as soon as the other picked up.

"What's the meaning of what?"

"The test results! You must've done a mistake or something, because this can't be true!"

Speedle was affronted by that. "Itachi, I may be the local mad scientists, I may be a fool, and I might not be highest on the CSI-food chain, but please do not doubt my work ever again." He said seriously.

Itachi sighed. "I'm sorry, Speedle, it's just that… are you absolutely certain that you didn't do anything wrong?"

"Yes."

"No DNA-contamination or anything?"

"No contamination at all."

"Completely, utterly, pain of death sure that you didn't make a mistake?"

"Now you're acting like an idiot, Itachi, and it doesn't suit you." Speedle said. "There is nothing wrong with my work, thank you very much. Accept the facts as they are, and move on."

"… thanks for everything, Speedle." Itachi finally said.

The older man laughed on his side. "No problem, Itachi. Good luck with this family-mess of yours, and remember to cross the bridges when you get to them, to take one step at the time, and to do first things first… though not necessarily in that order."

The teen chuckled. "_Goodbye_ Speedle."

"Goodbye sweet prince!" Speedle declared, suddenly going all poetic. "Parting is such a sweet sparrow- no, wait, that was wrong. Narrow? Arrow? Sponging? Parting is such a sweet sponging? That doesn't make any sense! Whoever wrote that shout be shot, I tell you, _shot_!"

"I'll be sure to tell Shakespeare that when I see him." Itachi remarked. "I'll see you later."

"Of course you will! Either way, this is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise signing off!" and with that the line went dead.

Itachi shook his head as he replaced the receiver, then he looked at the piece of paper still clutched in his hand. It was the DNA-test results, and it was positive.

Itachi Kishimoto was the son of Uchiha Fugaku.

Oh bugger.

With yet another sigh Itachi stalked to the kitchen where most of the current occupants of the house were situated, ready to eat the dinner that Mrs Kishimoto had prepared. Once he entered the room, he slapped the test results in front of Uchiha Fugaku, and narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"-Start talking.-"

A look of triumph passed over Fugaku's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. Instead the man simply said, "-What do you wish to know?-"

Sitting down in the chair directly opposite the usually-frowning man, Itachi stared him straight into the eyes. "-We'll start at the beginning. Why did you give me up in the first place, and why do you suddenly want me back again years later?-"

"-We didn't give you up.-" Came the reply. "-There were some serious disputes at that time, and an almost-successful assassination attempt on you was made. Therefore we agreed that it would be best if we sent you off to a couple of friends of ours until everything calmed down. However, when we went to collect you again, we found everyone murdered and you were gone. We've been searching for you off and on since that time.-"

'_What are these people, the Japanese mafia or something?'_ Itachi wondered. "-Then how did you find me here?-"

"-A friend of the family who travels a lot accidentally bumped into you a year ago, and did some research. Since then we've been keeping an eye at you in an attempt to figure out what had happened to you, and what kind of life you lead and so on.-"

'_He's careful not to mention any names.'_

"-Your mother and little brother are awaiting your arrival, as is the rest of the clan and the village.-" Fugaku added.

Itachi's eyes stayed narrow and suspicious. "-And you waited for an entire year before you made any sort of contact? Somehow I don't quite believe that. Seventeen years is a long time, and most people would've given me up for dead long before now.-"

The older man frowned again. "-The Uchiha Clan aren't 'most people'. We had no evidence to prove one thing or the other. And yes, we could have contacted you earlier, but we weren't sure exactly how you would react, therefore we chose not to.-"

"-Well, you people left a wonderful first impression on me, that's for certain!-" Itachi snorted. "-Alright, what are the options now? Quite frankly, I would've loved to simply boot you out of this house and my life, but I don't think you'd be willing to go along with that, therefore we need to reach a compromise.-"

"-As I said, the clan and the rest of the village are eagerly awaiting your arrival ever since it got out that you were discovered.-" Uchiha Fugaku started. "-Therefore I… _suggest_ that you come along and visit them.-" The man certainly didn't mask his request as a suggestion, but rather as an order.

'_What am I, an object?'_ the teen couldn't help but think to himself. He sent a quick look towards his grandparents. They had mostly stayed quiet throughout the entire time Uchiha Fugaku and his animal-masked friends had been there, only offering a piece of advice if Itachi directly asked for it.

"Don't worry about us." Mr Kishimoto spoke up. "Do whatever you want, Itachi, as long as you are sure that you can get out of the hole you're digging for yourself."

"As long as it makes you happy, dear, then I have nothing against it." Mrs Kishimoto added. "And these people haven't really treated us bad, you know. Perhaps it would be nice to meet your biological family first before you judge them all based on one individual's actions."

Itachi turned back to Fugaku. "-I have work to think of, and I'm not sure exactly how long I can get off. I reserve the right to leave at any time I choose, without you going hopping mad about it all. Do we have an accord?-"

"-We do.-" The older man grabbed the proffered hand, and shook it. "-We leave as soon as you are ready.-"

Nodding, Itachi got up from the table and walked up to his room to pack what would be necessary.

One thing was certain at least: this would be an adventure to remember.

**II**

"I can give you two months off at the most," Parker's voice sounded through the phone. "The higher-ups have been worried about how you're handling the job what with being as young as you are, so it will be no real problem. However, we must be able to reach you at any time if we need you back here, so keep your phone charged and with you all the time, alright?"

"Of course," Itachi nodded to himself. "I hope I'm not causing too much trouble for the team-"

"Nonsense! Finding your biological family is quite a thing, the others will understand." There was a short silence, before Parker spoke up again. "Are you sure about this, Itachi? From the way you described everything, this Mr Fugaku Uchiha sounds like one of those die-hard tradition-and-clan-above-all-else people."

"Yes, I'm sure about this." The teen replied, a rather awkward and fake chuckle slipping from him. He had, of course, omitted certain things when explaining the situation to Parker. _'You don't know half of it, Parker!'_

Parker sighed. "As you wish then. How do you intend to proceed?"

He hummed thoughtfully. "It seems that they have me pegged as an awkward, clumsy, silly, and somewhat-rebelling teenager, and I think I'll go with that image for now."

"I understand, and I'll look up this Fugaku Uchiha, the Uchiha Clan, and anything about animal-shaped masks in our records when I have the time. I'll get the rest of the team to help me, and when we come up with something we'll either call, or send a message, or something." Parker said. "Alright, if there is nothing else you want to tell me, then I wish you good luck with all of this. And as your superior and boss I order you to call me at least once a week, but preferably more often. I need to know how my protégé is dealing with this stressing situation."

"Of course I'll call. Thanks for everything, Parker."

"No problem, just take care of yourself. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, sir." Itachi put down the phone and sighed. This entire situation was turning out to be more troublesome than expected, and it better be worth it all in the end.

'_I better get my bag, otherwise Uchiha Fugaku will be even more displeased than usual – not that I think that that's even possible.'_ The teen thought to himself and headed towards the stairs. Or, better said, he would've headed towards the stairs if he hadn't suddenly – and quite unexpectedly – come face to displeased face with none other than Uchiha Fugaku himself.

The man's sudden and silent appearance was something of a shock, and poor Itachi yelped and jumped away…

… only to end up stumbling over Mr Kishimoto's favourite footstool, and thusly having an up close and personal (and painful, lets not deny it) meeting with the floor for the second time that week.

"-What the hell do you think you were doing! Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack!-" Itachi demanded, his hand clutched over his heart.

"-Hn.-" Fugaku replied. "-Are you ready?-"

The teenager took another moment to slow his speeding heart, then answered. "-Yes, I'm ready, and everything's in order.-" He then proceeded to pick himself off the floor whilst explaining Parker's rules to the older man.

Fugaku – surprise, surprise! – frowned. "-Well, I suppose it can't be helped. Go get your stuff, boy, we're ready to go.-"

"-Hai, hai!-" Itachi hurried upstairs to his room, strapped on his gun-holster, slung the duffle bag containing his clothes onto his shoulder, picked up his guitar-bag – with a _real_ guitar inside! Bet you weren't expecting that! – and hurried back down.

Mr and Mrs Kishimoto were waiting for him by the entrance, as were Fugaku and his men.

"Be a good boy now, Itachi, and give them a chance before you judge." Mrs Kishimoto said as she hugged him. "And don't worry about us, we'll manage."

"What she said." Mr Kishimoto said when it was his turn. "And if you manage to get those people to throw you out and disown you before this two-month period is over, then I'll recognise you as my heir and will hand over the dojo to you."

Itachi's eyebrow twitched. "No thank you, grandpa!"

"Are you sure? I don't think it'd be that hard to manage such a feat, and-_OW_! Why did you hit me, woman!"

"Because you were being an idiot," Mrs Kishimoto replied, then turned back to Itachi. "Off you go now, dear, and remember to call."

The teen nodded. "Of course. I'll see you in approximately two months, if not sooner."

After a few more goodbyes had been exchanged, Itachi found himself walking down the dark street in the company of these weird people. There were people out tonight, the weather was good, and laughter could be heard. There was music coming from a window they passed, and lovers went hand in hand down the street, their happy daze not breaking for anything. All in all, the people of Chinatown were happy this evening.

All of them, except Itachi.

'_What the hell have I managed to get myself into?'_

…

'_I wonder if they have pocky in this Konoha place.'_

**II**

There, chapter two is done. Please tell me what you think.

I realise that this chapter might've been both fast-paced, and also might have glossed over the details as to why everything happened the way it did. I also feel that Itachi perhaps went along with Fugaku and the ANBU squad without putting up enough resistance, but I didn't want to use too much time on that. On that note, this is also a fic which will focus more on the 'humour' than the 'drama', although there will be some of the latter as well. Just as a warning.

Hmm. Pairings, eh? I'm not sure, but I don't think I'll do a pairing. I never was good at writing the level of romance that would be needed, but there will be lots and lots of scary fan-girls.

This chapter kind of ran off with me, especially Speedle. Yes, I continue to steal the names and professions of characters from various TV-series, this time from _CSI: Miami_. Sorry about that, I just couldn't resist.

And yes, there is a reason why Itachi brought his guitar along. Be patient.

Next chapter we shall finally arrive in Konoha, and have the long-awaited meeting between Itachi and Sasuke….. that scene's going to be hell to write. My head hurts when I think about it.

Thanks to:

SlytherinWicca, Honebar, Kaaera, Cyberwing, Ookami Kage, windofmight, THE Hyuuga Neji, soccergirl13, dragonmage27, Beta the Second, cazertanu, Meemei, korrd, I-Y-T-Y, muto shizuka, kirallie, Arano Honou, and Regress13.


	3. Chapter 3

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I'm glad you all liked the story. From now on a normal "…" indicates Japanese being spoken, and a "-…-" indicates that English is being spoken – except in the flashback, but that's quite obvious I think. Enjoy!

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Three:**

_Itachi had been with the FBI for a measly three months, when one of the other members of his team unexpectedly approached him. Unexpectedly because up until now all of them had been rather awed and careful around the genius teen._

"_Yo, Itachi, wanna join me for lunch?" Rodriguez asked the youngest – and newest – member of the team._

_The teenager in question looked up at the older man, and stared at him for a while. "I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way. I've nothing against homosexuals, but personally I prefer the fairer sex. No offence, Rodriguez." _

_Garcia, Henson, Collins and Leigh – who were all sitting at their desks and within earshot – snickered at the comment that had been delivered without blinking. Other people that were passing through also did a variation of the same, and Itachi himself smirked._

_Rodriguez' eye twitched. "Firstly: I'm happily married, and secondly: I'm not a paedophile!" the man protested. "Are you going, or do you need Garcia to baby-sit you?"_

_Itachi narrowed his eyes at the reminders of his age. "Alright, where are we going?" he asked as he stood up from his desk and picked up his jacket from the back of his chair._

"_The diner right down the street, 'Murphy's Law' I think it's called." Rodriguez replied as the two of them headed towards the elevators. "A wonderful name, ain't it?"_

"_Quite." The teen deadpanned, his voice dryer than the Sahara desert._

"_Oi, loverboys! Bring me back a large cappuccino!" Garcia called right before the doors of the elevator closed._

_It didn't take long for the two FBI agents to get to said diner, and they had soon ordered their desired food. The waitress – who was dressed as a MiB-agent, her nametag proclaiming her to be Agent Q – arrived with their food soon enough, and the two men dug in._

"_So, Itachi, what's wrong?" Rodriguez went straight for the heart of the matter he wanted to discuss._

_Itachi blinked. "Wrong?" he parroted, a piece of chocolate cake halfway to his mouth._

"_Don't play me for a fool," the older man growled, using his own fork to emphasize his point. "You know very well what I'm talking about. You've become seriously disorganised lately, your work isn't up to your usual standard, and the bags under your eyes could be taken for black holes in my opinion. Quite frankly, Itachi, you look like shit. So spill it, what's wrong?"_

_The younger man was silent for a moment, before he sighed and his shoulders slumped. "It's the nightmares." He said finally. "These past three months have been stressful, and we've had case upon case, and I'm tired."_

_Rodriguez nodded, a serious and understanding look in his eyes. "I understand. We've all gone through the same stage, and occasionally we go through it again, it's no new phenomenon. We're dealing with some of the sickest criminal minds out there, so it's no small wonder that we get nightmares or go slightly insane ourselves."_

"_How do you deal with it?" Itachi asked, his gaze focused on the piece of cake that he was now meticulously cutting up into ant-sized pieces._

"_I know that Garcia takes a yoga class, Leigh watches his Star Trek-tapes, Parker retreats to his cabin when things get too much. All of us deal with it in our own way. I'm lucky enough to manage to have a family outside of work, and my wife is the best remedy for me. The point of this is that I can't give you a textbook answer on how to deal with it all, that's something you have to figure out on your own," he sighed. "I'm willing to listen if you ever need to get some things off your chest – and that goes for the rest of the team as well; we all look out for each other. I'm sorry I can't help you out any more than that, but sometimes all one needs to do is talk about it."_

_The black-haired teenager managed a small smile. "Thanks, Rodriguez."_

"_Anytime, kiddo." Came the reply. They spent another twenty minutes in a comfortable silence, but then it was broken by the ringing of Rodriguez' mobile phone. "Rodriguez here. Yes sir. We're at the diner a block away… alright, we'll be there. See you soon, Parker." _

_Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Since that was Parker I assume we have a new case?"  
_

"_Of course. Lets get going." The older man lead the way until they reached the FBI building. Right before they entered, Rodriguez stopped the teen. "And remember what I said, Itachi. If you ever need to talk…"_

_The teen nodded, and together they entered the building._

**III **

Itachi followed Uchiha Fugaku and his companions through the streets of the city for quite a while. At one point he had asked if they were going to take the plane to Japan, but Fugaku had sent him such a disgusted look that Itachi had found it better not to ask again. Therefore he had followed the others around, feeling somewhat like an idiot, and he didn't even question it when they entered a small, dingy, shabby shop which sold oriental things; the teen was simply glad for the opportunity to sit down.

He hadn't been sitting for long, when one of the animal-masked people had mentioned for him to go into the backroom of the shop. On the floor of the room two scrolls with various signs and whatnots had been rolled out in an X-shape, and Itachi had been ordered to stand in the middle. Itachi had obeyed, a perplexed look on his face. He had thought that this might be some sort of ritual cleansing or something, but what he hadn't expected was to suddenly be surrounded by thick smoke that seemingly came from nowhere. Then he felt like he was on a wild roller coaster for a moment, before another poof of smoke signalled the end of said feeling. A gloved hand had reached into the smoke and pulled him out, and Itachi found himself gaping.

He was standing in the middle of a cave.

A cave that was much bigger than the little shabby shop he had previously been in.

A cave that was very high up on a mountain and that offered a wonderful view of a seemingly never-ending forested area once you looked out.

'_Holy shit man! Holy frickin' shit.'_ The teen thought, rubbed his eyes, and then continued staring. He turned to Uchiha Fugaku who had appeared in another poof of smoke – and was standing on another X made out of two unrolled scrolls – and managed a squeak.

Uchiha Fugaku smirked in triumph. "Welcome to the Hidden Shinobi Countries."

"How…?"

"Do not ask for I will not answer." The again-frowning man replied. "You do not have the required rank to know about an S-class secret such as this. You already know too much as it is. Though, you have to admit that this surely beats travelling by one of those airplanes. Follow me." With that the man started moving out of the cave, and the animal-masked people (who had appeared in puffs of smoke during the conversation) followed him, forcing the teen to follow _them_.

Itachi simply stood there and stared at the retreating back of his biological father for a moment before he hurried after the group. _'Did that guy just make a joke?'_

**III **

When he was still trying to ignore his own intellect and was desperately trying to fit in with normal children, Itachi had begged to go to one of those summer camping-group thingies for children, and the Kishimotos had sent him off. Everything had gone more or less alright until the yellow bus that was supposed to take the children to the resort had started driving. The seven-year-old Itachi had been sitting at the far front along with the grownups, and had been holding an intellectual conversation with a rather surprised camp-leader, when some kid at the back had started singing one of those corny songs, at which point the rest of the children joined in. Itachi had thusly been treated to rendition after horribly annoying rendition of camping-songs, and he counted that experience to be the most terrifying and mentally scarring of his entire life, and had swore never ever to be normal again.

And here he was, ten years later, playing his guitar and singing the same corny songs and annoying the crap out of Uchiha Fugaku and company.

"65 bottles of beer on the wall, 65 bottles of beer! If one of the bottles should happen to fall, 64 bottles of beer on the wall! 64 bottles of beer on the wall, 64 bottles of beer! If one of the bottles should happen to fall, 63 bottles of beer on the wall! 63 bottles of beer-"

At this point Uchiha Fugaku turned faster than should be humanly possible, and glared. "Will you stop singing that infernal song!" he demanded.

Itachi blinked. "Oh, you don't like it? It's alright, I'll sing another one then."

"Wha-?"

"She'll be coming 'round the mountain, here she comes! She'll be coming 'round the mountain, here she comes! She'll be coming 'round the mountain, she'll be coming 'round the mountain! She'll be coming 'round the mountain, here she comes!"

A tick developed on Fugaku's forehead.

**III **

It was late afternoon and they had decided to make camp for the night. The animal-masked people quickly found the perfect spot and easily set up camp which consisted of a couple of small bonfires and only one tent. The tent was for Itachi to use. Said people also proved to be very good hunters, and soon there were two rabbits roasting over one of the bonfires, and four fishes over the other.

Itachi was happily munching on a rabbit-leg – medium to well-roasted – when Uchiha Fugaku found it prudent to interfere.

"Lets see what you have learned from that adoptive grandfather of yours." That was the only thing Fugaku said before he attacked the poor teen, kunai and shuriken drawn.

Now, being a genius and well-trained FBI agent, Itachi did what every sane man would do when some lunatic with possibly lethal weapons attacked them. He screamed like a girl and ran in the opposite direction, zigzagging between the trees to avoid the weapons thrown after him. If Misao had been there she would have insisted that he was doing his Jack Sparrow-impersonation again. Either way, he ended up hiding behind one of the animal-masked people – all who seemed thoroughly amused.

Fugaku, on the other hand, was far from amused. "Stop making a scene!" he hissed.

"It's your fault I'm making a scene in the first place!" Itachi protested as he peeked out form behind the man he was using as a humanoid shield.

"Excuse me?"

"If you hadn't suddenly gone all crazy on me and hadn't attacked me with sharp implements of possible doom, then I wouldn't have had the need to run away and hide, thusly we would have avoided making a scene. Ergo, it's your fault." The teen slowly came out from his hiding place and sketched a quick bow in thanks to his amused human shield, then turned back to his newly-discovered biological father. "Why the hell did you attack me anyway?"

"To test your skills in taijutsu." Came the stoic reply, though Fugaku was frowning a lot more than usual.

"What skills?"

There was a short pause.

"You mean to tell me that you do not know taijutsu?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But the man who raised you was an expert!"

Itachi snorted. "That doesn't mean anything! Just because the guy who raised me was a martial arts specialist doesn't mean that I'm one. Or that I know any martial arts at all."

Uchiha Fugaku looked ready to murder someone.

**III**

Over the past couple of days the animal-masked people had seemingly started to warm up to Itachi, and it wasn't too much of a shock anymore when one of them suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started walking beside the teenager. The conversations held were very interesting – small tips on how to survive out in the wild and such – but never had Itachi managed to trick them into spilling some information that he already didn't know.

It was a few days later that one of the animal-masked people – the term for which, Itachi had finally found out, was ANBU – pointed up ahead, and said to the teenager, "Those are the western gates of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaf. We have made surprisingly good time."

'_Is that a compliment?'_ Itachi wondered absentmindedly to himself whilst observing the scenery in front of him. Even from this distance the gates looked sturdy. They were very tall, and the wall to which they were connected – and which probably ran all around this Konohagakure – looked even thicker. There was a sign over the gates proclaiming them to be the western gates of the village, and there were several people posted at even intervals at the gates and on top of the tall walls.

'_It's a freaking fortress.'_ The black-haired teenager observed to himself. _'This only confirms the fact that these people come from an organised, military-like institution – which seems to be the village itself. Not to mention the transport method they used to get us to that cave, and since then I haven't seen a single car, bike, motorbike, etc. Well, I suppose I'll get my answers sooner or later – preferably sooner, though.'_

Once they reached the gates, one of the guards – who was more or less dressed in the same uniform as Fugaku, except he was missing the weird shuriken-emblem on the shoulders – called for them to identify themselves with names and registration numbers. This was obviously only a precautionary action, since the guards seemed to know exactly who Fugaku was.

"Uchiha Fugaku, ID number: 004086." Fugaku said in a quiet voice. "The mission was a success."

The spiky-haired guy with some sort of bandage across his cheeks and nose, blinked in surprise. "So you found him? You found Uchiha Itachi?"

"We did."

The two guards looked around, and finally spotted the teen that had been observing them and the conversation. Itachi gave a smile and waved slightly to the guards, both of which seemed surprised and shared a look betwixt themselves. Then they shrugged, and smiled back.

"Welcome to Konohagakure, Uchiha Itachi-san." One of the guards said, and nodded politely. "We hope that you will enjoy your stay here."

"Actually, it's Kishimoto Itachi." The teen corrected him. "And thank you, I hope so as well."

"You will have to excuse us," Uchiha Fugaku said. "We have to see Sandaime Hokage-sama."

"Of course," the bandaged one mentioned with his arm. "Go right ahead, you are cleared. Izumo will write you down in the log."

Apparently rumours spread insanely fast in Konoha, and people stared at them as they passed. The spectators whispered and pointed, and weren't at all discrete about it. Thusly it wasn't a great surprise that Itachi was reminded of a group of story-hungry journalists. Luckily he knew how to deal with the situation due to a very useful, though short course from the police academy.

'_Keep still, don't make any sudden movements, and hope to hell they don't notice you.'_ The teen thought to himself, repeating the sentence like a mantra until something else suddenly caught his attention. He let loose a happy shout, and was off down the street before Uchiha Fugaku and Co. could react. By the time said group of people caught up with him, Itachi was already exiting the shop he had seen, a box of rapidly-disappearing pocky in one hand, and a bag full to the brink with the same snack was hanging from his arm.

"Exactly what was that about?" Fugaku demanded angrily whilst trying to keep his voice down and not make a scene.

"Pocky!" Itachi replied with a sunny smile and held up the snack in question. "Why didn't you tell me that you had pocky here? Shame on you!" he munched down another stick. "Yum! I'm liking this place already!"

The ANBU standing around them snickered quietly, but Uchiha Fugaku looked anything but pleased. "Lets just head to the Hokage Tower." The man growled angrily.

The Hokage Tower was a large building approximately in the middle of the village. It was oval-shaped and had several storeys, and four crescent-shaped spikes at the very top made up a sort of skeleton of a dome. People were arriving and departing all over the place, and Itachi blinked twice when he noticed that some of those people were jumping in and out of windows that were on the second floor and up, or from rooftop to rooftop to ground level and back up again. And no one seemed to even care about the fact that they could get seriously hurt or killed!

'_These people must be professional stuntmen and women!'_ the teenager concluded. _'Or there is some serious mumbo jumbo magic-thingy going on around here.'_

Fugaku led them through the different levels of the building, occasionally nodding to someone, but generally giving off the air of obnoxiousness. People stared here as well, though not as openly as the people on the streets had done, and most of them only gave them a short inspection before they hurried off to wherever they were heading to in the first place.

Either way soon the group had reached the top level, and were standing outside the doors leading to the Hokage's office. There were two ANBU guards placed outside the doors, and a secretary sat off to the side. Uchiha Fugaku headed straight for the secretary, held a short conversation with the man, before he led Itachi through the doors leading into the office of the Hokage. Itachi took a moment to turn and give a short bow and wave to the ANBU that had accompanied them this far, then he hurried in after his biological father.

"Fugaku-san, it is good to see that you have returned," the Hokage, who was an elderly man, said and stood up from his desk. He then turned his attention on Itachi. "And this must be Uchiha Itachi. Welcome to Konoha, Itachi-san. My name is Sarutobi, I am the Sandaime Hokage."

Itachi shook the offered hand. "Nice to meet you, sir, and for now I prefer _Kishimoto_ Itachi."

"Of course, my apologies. Please sit down the both of you."

"You will have to excuse me, Hokage-sama." Fugaku spoke up. "I wish to personally alert my clan about _Uchiha_ Itachi's long-anticipated return." The man emphasized on the word with a pointed look to the teenager in question, but Itachi played oblivious.

The Hokage, on the other hand, nodded. "Of course. I will not stop you. Go alert your family, and Itachi-san and myself will have a small talk in the meantime. There are some rules and such that he needs to be aware of, and I shall use this as an excuse to escape the paperwork."

Uchiha Fugaku bowed shortly to the Hokage, then turned to the teen. "Behave yourself, Itachi," he ordered before he disappeared through the doors.

'_Trust, thy name is Fugaku,'_ the teen couldn't help the sarcastic thought. However, he turned back to the leader of Konoha and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. He focused on said leader. "You do know that you are ruling over a village full of people hell bent on suicide by jumping off rooftops and through second storey windows, right?"

The old man burst into laughter, his kind and wise eyes twinkling merrily. "You truly are something else, Itachi-san. Certainly nothing like one expects an Uchiha to be, and perhaps that is for the best."

"It is?" the teen parroted.

"In my personal opinion, yes," Sarutobi continued smiling. "Well, lets move on. Reports say that you work as an… an eff-bee-ai agent?"

"The Federal Bureau of Investigation, the FBI." Itachi corrected. "I'm with the Criminal Behaviour Analysis Unit, in other words: I'm a profiler. Our job is to analyse the crime scene and provide the local authorities with a profile of the suspect. Luckily it's a desk-job more than anything else. I would never have survived being a field agent, haven't got the skills for it."

"The human mind is truly a fascinating object of study." The old man agreed with a nod. "As a shinobi the skill to read other people could literally mean the difference between life and death."

The teenager blinked in surprise. "That's a joke, right?"

"No, I'm afraid that I am not joking, Itachi-san."

"Then this is all cosplay?"

"It isn't."

"So you mean to tell me that you people actually train as shinobi, and take on missions and stuff?"

"Yes, that is pretty much it," the Hokage said, a small amused smile playing on his lips.

Itachi stared. "Please tell me that this is Candid Camera or something. I really don't want to have it confirmed that I've landed right in the middle of a place that actually breeds and trains serial killers."

The old man shook his head. "I am sorry to disappoint you, Itachi-san, but although your chosen terminology isn't spot-on, that is quite the accurate description of a Hidden Village."

The teen twitched. "You mean there's more than one Hidden Village?"

"Yes."

"This is seriously messed up."

"It all depends on whom you ask, Itachi-san." Sarutobi said. "For you, who has been raised in the Second World – raised so differently – it might be difficult to accept this. But please give it all a chance before you judge, and at least try to understand our situation."

Itachi sighed. "I've always thought that I had a pretty open mind to things. But the trouble with an open mind – I've found – is that people will insist on coming along, and putting things in it."

"Very valid point, but I still stand by my request."

There was a long silence between the two men, the younger staring the older straight in the eyes, a silent conversation going on between them. Then suddenly it was all over, and both of them smiled to each other, tension and everything forgot as if it hadn't happened. They had clearly reached some sort of silent agreement, and agreement that would stay between the two of them until time came to reveal it to the rest of the world.

Itachi picked up a new box of pocky, and offered it to the Hokage. "Want some? I'm hooked on 'em, and I'm also very happy that I found some here in the Leaf Hidden in the Village."

"The Village Hidden in the Leaf." The Hokage corrected absentmindedly. "Ah, strawberry-flavoured! My favourite."

"Good, because I'm partial to chocolate-flavour myself, and if you had asked for it I would've been forced to lie and tell you that I don't have any – despite any facts saying otherwise." The teen replied as he munched on a said-flavoured pocky stick.

"Your chocolate-pocky is your own," the old man said seriously, and then promptly started to munch on his own pocky.

This was the scene that the secretary walked in on when he came to report that Uchiha Fugaku and family had arrived.

"Ah, send them in, Yoshihiro-san." The Hokage said between bites. "It is high time that the Uchiha family were finally reunited with their missing member."

"Yes sir." The man replied, bowed and hurried out of the office. A moment later he returned with Uchiha Fugaku in tow. Behind Fugaku came a beautiful woman dressed in normal clothes, looking like she just came from the kitchen. Following her came a young man perhaps three or four years older than Itachi. Said young man was dressed in a blue t-shirt with an enormous collar, which made it look like he was wearing one of the large bowl-shaped dog-collars the vets used. The last person in the group was a boy of about twelve years of age. To Itachi the young boy looked like he tried to be as small and inconspicuous as possible, with black bangs framing his face, his posture hunched and his black eyes darting to an fro shyly, insecurely. Another thing was that the boy looked almost exactly like Itachi had done when the seventeen-year-old had been that age.

'_And I shall call him Mini-Me.'_ Itachi couldn't help but think, then he focused back on the other people in the room and stood up from his chair. "Hello."

Uchiha Fugaku started the introductions. "This is Uchiha Mikoto, your mother." He said simply and without further ado.

The young woman stepped forwards. Her hands rose up to touch Itachi's face, hesitated, then simply settled gently on the teen's shoulders. "You… you are so grown up," she whispered in a somewhat awed tone, tears making her eyes glitter. "I remember when you were a newborn in my arms, and yet here you are, all grown up, and I missed it all."

"Mikoto," Fugaku's warning-laden voice cut in. "Do not make a scene."

Uchiha Mikoto nodded hastily, and put herself together again. "Of course, I'm sorry. It's good to see you so well, Itachi-kun – might I call you that?"

"Sure." Itachi nodded almost absentmindedly. His mind was busy processing all the information he had gotten from observing the way she had acted, and he quickly reached a conclusion that only confirmed his earlier theories. _'The Uchihas are a very traditional family. As the head of the clan Fugaku is used to being obeyed no matter what, a very dominating and difficult to please individual. Mikoto-san is the perfect housewife, despite the fact that she was – most likely – a shinobi herself before she married Fugaku. Very few civilians would have the skills necessary to control themselves so quickly, or to such a degree.'_

Fugaku continued the introductions, a note of pride entering his voice. "This is the son of one of my cousins, and when his parents displayed weakness and got themselves killed on a mission, I took him in and raised him as my own. That turned out to be a very good decision. He is a genius in every sense of the word, and he has brought much honour to the clan. Itachi, meet-"

The young man a couple of years older than Itachi, stepped forwards and cut Fugaku off. "Uchiha Shisui." He said and shook Itachi's hand. "Nice to meet you, cousin."

"It is nice to meet you as well, Shisui-san," the teen replied, though his mind was yet again analysing the situation. _'Fugaku gave quite the introduction, didn't even bat an eyelash when he was interrupted, which means that Shisui is really high on the Uchiha food-chain. And Shisui seems to enjoy his position well enough, I pity the poor sod who challenges said position. Does he hope to take over as the heir to the title of Clan Head? Does he consider myself a threat, then? Hmm, by the feel of the calloused hands, the strength in the handshake, the muscles in the exposed areas of the arms and the legs, the few scars in sight and his control over his emotions, then Shisui must be one heck of a ninja – probably high on the food-chain in that aspect as well, and Fugaku is very proud of him. This need to prove himself to the head of the clan probably means that Shisui has worked very hard, most likely too hard. There is a certain something about him I can't quite put a name to, but I'm ready to bet my soul that Uchiha Shisui is ready to cave in under the pressure put on him by the entire clan. Poor fool.'_

"And this is my youngest son and your brother, Uchiha Sasuke," the frown was back on Fugaku's face. "What are you waiting for, Sasuke? Greet your older brother." It was clear that the man thought his youngest son to be a total disgrace to the family.

The young boy stepped hesitantly forwards, and seemed to shrink even further into himself even further when he felt his father's displeased glare on his back. "It's… it's n-nice to meet you, Itachi-nii… -sam-sama. I- I'm Uchiha Sas-Sasuke."

'_Overshadowed by his genius cousin Shisui so much that everyone – except, perhaps, the mother – has seemed to forget his existence. Forgotten it unless they compare him to said cousin, that is. This has led to insecurity, shyness, a need to stay out of the spotlight to keep from being compared to someone so much better. He's probably hiding his real skills, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was one of the worst pupils academically in his class. I wonder if he'll ever get his chance to shine?'_ Itachi leaned over and took the boy's hand in a firm, yet gentle grip. "It's nice to meet you as well, Sasuke-kun, but please do not say something you do not mean."

Sasuke blinked. "Wh-what…?"

The teen smiled. "Don't call me big brother until you mean it."

"B-but it-it's impolite-"

"I'd rather you be slightly impolite than having you lie straight to my face, Sasuke-kun. Call me 'nii-san' or 'aniki' when you feel that I have earned the title, not because it's polite."

The boy looked adorably confused. Mikoto-san looked like she was about to cry form happiness, Shisui looked more or less completely blank except for a small spark of interest in his black eyes, and Fugaku looked very displeased. The Hokage was sitting at his desk, and he had a small, knowing smile dancing about his lips.

Yes, Uchiha Itachi would shake the very foundations of the Uchiha Clan.

**III **

There, please tell me what you think.

When it comes to how Itachi and Co. travelled from a dingy shop in Chinatown, to the middle of one of the forests in the Land of Fire, then there are two explanations. One is that they used summoning scrolls, and that this will be further explained in later chapters. And two is that the author was too lazy to think up some fancy-schmancy explanation on how everything works, and decided to go with the first thing that fell into her head. I apologise for that one.

Itachi is 17 and Sasuke is 11 at this point in time, there's six years between them. I'm also thinking that Shisui is approximately 20 or 21 in this story. As for pairing, there will be none, at least for Itachi. Perhaps a passing mention of an earlier girlfriend, but that will be the extent of it.

Thanks to:

magerm, Kaaera, Meemei, Marauder Heir, Shi No Megami 20, mystik, Ookami Kage, dragonmage27, Artemis1000, Beta the Second, soccergirl13, angelsdawn1004, Chibi of Many Names, I-Y-T-Y, Oldmagic, and QueenOfHalf-BakesIdeas.


	4. Chapter 4

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the absence, and please enjoy the following insanity.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Four**

'_There's something seriously wrong with this family.'_ Itachi had reached this conclusion after spending the past half hour observing the four present members of the Uchiha Clan interact with each other, the Hokage and himself. The group was still occupying the Hokage's office, though they had offered several times to vacate it and leave the old man in peace to do his work. Sarutobi, however, had jumped at this chance of having a good reason to ignore his paperwork, and had practically threatened them into staying. _'The Hokage isn't all there either,'_ the teenager added, before he went on observing. _'Makes me wonder what the rest of the village is like.'_

Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Shisui stood in the middle of the room, drowning it with their presence, and talking with the Hokage. They more or less looked like they owned the world, and that it existed only for their amusement.

'_Or, in other words, rich and pompous bastards with the skills to back it up,'_ the teen's eyes slid across the room to where Mikoto and Sasuke were standing partially hidden in one of the corners of the room, and he frowned. _'They don't say anything, they don't move, nothing at all unless Fugaku or Shisui addresses them – which hasn't happened so far. The Hokage tries occasionally to draw them into the conversation, but is headed off by either Fugaku or Shisui, and drawn away. It's as if they want us to forget that Mikoto and Sasuke are here at all. I can sort of understand why they would ignore Mikoto what with her being a woman and all, and Fugaku has already displayed an overly dominating and controlling personality. Women are inferior to him and he has probably passed this on to Shisui as well, but what I can't understand is why Sasuke warrants such treatment. Why has the boy been labelled weak and useless?'_

Itachi shook his head and sighed. There was no way he would discover the answers to all of the questions that ran around in his head, in just one afternoon. Heck, with the ninja code of secrecy – or whatever they called it – then it might take years before he uncovered it all. Then there was also the question whether or not he wanted to uncover it all. Did he really want to dig himself so deeply into the history of the Uchiha Clan, and risk being caught in the net? Was he willing to dig a hole for himself that would prove to be difficult, or even impossible, to get out of?

'_Bleh, my brain hurts.'_ Itachi nearly groaned. _'I suppose I will have to take it one day at the time – with careful steps, mind – and see what happens at the end of my two-month trial period. What I do know I can do in those two months, is to annoy and turn the Uchiha Clan on its head.'_ With those thoughts, Itachi swaggered over to the corner where Mikoto and Sasuke stood, and smiled charmingly at them when they noticed his approach. "Mikoto-san, Sasuke-kun, I hope you have nothing against me joining you? It's just that with those two jabbering over there, one can't get in a single word edgewise."

Mikoto and Sasuke – quite obviously used to being ignored in gatherings – blinked in surprise at this, before the woman smiled and quietly replied, "Not at all, Itachi-kun, it would be an honour."

'_An honour for a family member to pay attention? Now, that's just wrong.' _None of his thoughts showed on his face, and Itachi held out his bag full of pocky and did a short, clumsy bow. "I should have brought a gift for the hostess, but I didn't have the time, I apologise sincerely for that. All I _can_ offer is pocky in your flavour of choice, so dig in!"

The other two shared another look, before they accepted the offer and fished up what they wanted.

"Thank you, Itachi-kun." Mikoto's eyes were warm and gentle, and seemed to twinkle in joy.

"Y-yes, thank y-you, Ita-Itachi-san." Sasuke managed a small smile as well.

'_Both spoke quietly,'_ Itachi noted. _'But why? Were they doing it out of respect of Fugaku and Shisui, trying not to disturb them in their conversation with the Hokage; or did Mikoto and Sasuke speak in such low voices because they are afraid of the repercussions of disturbing the other two? Hmm, probably a little bit of both.'_

Itachi talked with Mikoto and Sasuke, telling them some of his own life with the Kishimotos and in turn being regaled with stories of daily life in Konoha, and, most notably, in the Uchiha Clan. The tales didn't give much information to work with, but it gave more information than Uchiha Fugaku and the ANBU had ever done whilst travelling to Konoha. Either way, Itachi rather enjoyed talking to the two seemingly shy members of his family, and he completely ignored the other three in the room even when they called for him.

"So you say that you are in your last year at this Shinobi Academy, Sasuke-kun," the teen said, and attempted to catch the younger boy's eyes – which proved to be difficult since Sasuke kept his head lowered. "What do you learn there?"

"W-we learn the basics of the req-required skills for a shinobi," Sasuke replied, his stuttering having notably lessened during the conversation. "I-if we pass the exam then we are named gennin, and are p-put in a three-man team. An ol-older and more experienced sh-shinobi w-will take us on as his or h-her students, and continue our teaching."

"Really? That is an interesting school system. Do all children go to the Shinobi Academy, then?"

"Not at all, Itachi-kun, and I am sure that you have noticed that there were civilians out on the streets. We need them to run the village, the shinobi are only the military force. There are approximately three civilians to every shinobi in Konoha, and not all choose to become a ninja. We do have civilian schools, though even they focus a great deal on physical fitness and fighting skills." Mikoto said. "Thus, if Konoha is ever attacked, the civilians have a chance of survival."

Itachi nodded in understanding. "Indeed. Approximately how long is a shinobi's education?"

"Th-that depends on the shinobi. S-some take longer than others-"

"Yes, and you have taken a humiliating amount of time, Sasuke." Shisui's disgusted voice cut into the conversation. "You barely manage to keep your average grades, and you even failed the last exam! One would expect that you would be the top student in the class, what with having gone through the material already and being surrounded by kids a year younger, but your grades got even worse! Worst of all, you let Hyuuga Neji and the Kyuubi brat get ahead of you!" he sneered at Sasuke who had retreated into his shell again, and turned towards Itachi. "You should ignore a weakling like him, cousin, he isn't worth it."

Fugaku actually nodded at that. "Come and join us, Itachi. We are currently discussing your future lessons in basic shinobi skills, and I think you should find this an interesting topic." It sounded more like an order than a simple statement.

"I thought I heard a fly buzzing somewhere in here." Itachi did a show of looking around the room, then turned back to Sasuke. "So what do these tests consist of? Is it written, or physical, or a combination of the two?"

"Cousin, I advice you to-"

"I swear there is a fly in the room!" the teen exclaimed and looked around again.

"Itachi!" Fugaku's voice was full of warning and threat.

The young man in question completely ignored him. "It's buzzing by my ear right now," he told Mikoto and Sasuke, and swatted around his hand in emphasis. "Apparently this fly has no manner of conduct, and insists on butting into our conversation for some strange reason. Honestly! Is it gone?" he did a show out of presenting himself to Mikoto and Sasuke for inspection.

"Itachi-kun!" Mikoto's voice was worried. "Please, don't-"

But Itachi ignored her as well, though he did send her a smile to tell her that he didn't mean anything by it; it was just simply necessary to have the confrontation that was about to occur. Both Itachi and Fugaku had strong wills, and neither would let the other simply run over him like a bulldozer, therefore they needed to set some ground rules, and this conversation would insure that. Most of all Fugaku needed to learn that Itachi wouldn't bow to his every whim.

Other than the silent conversation with Mikoto, Itachi seemed completely oblivious to the two annoyed glares fixed on his back. The very same glares had sent more than one person running for the hills, but they seemed to simply slide off the teen like water, and didn't affect him at all. Instead he grinned in apology, and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry about that interruption. The fly seems to have a personal vendetta against me-"

Apparently being repeatedly likened to a fly wasn't Shisui's cup of tea, and the young man had been brought to the boiling point faster than ever before. In some small way – whether it be by his words, actions or body language – Itachi had managed to firmly get under Shisui's skin, and the other man seemingly couldn't handle it. Something Itachi did, or didn't do, pushed the right buttons, and Shisui had turned very, _very_ angry.

'_Coming here and ignoring Fugaku-sama and myself! Who does this… this… this no-good outsider think he is?!'_

Itachi was ready for the attack when it came – that had been the entire point of his charade after all – but it was a bit of a surprise that the seemingly unflappable Uchiha Shisui was the attacker, rather than the frequently annoyed and displeased Fugaku. However, the FBI agent didn't let this affect him and when Shisui suddenly appeared behind him, capturing him firmly in a headlock, Itachi went through with his plan. He drew his gun and put it to his attacker's family jewels with surprising speed, and fired.

Shisui fell like a tonne of bricks, clutching his crotch and whimpering and squeaking in pain. Fugaku, Mikoto and Sasuke simply stared in shock, and the Hokage seemed torn between amusement and sympathy, but the one thought that they all shared was thus: how the hell could a genius shinobi like Shisui be taken down by someone like Itachi?

"Standard issue police stun-gun. I simply love this little beauty!" Itachi explained upon seeing the shocked looks sent his way. He turned to the downed man. "You should feel lucky I didn't hit you full-force, man, some of these things can pack a nasty 900,000 volts! Now, Fugaku-san, it has come to my attention that we seem to have a few wrinkles to iron out between the two of us, and I suggest that we do that here in Hokage-san's office in order to keep things calm and peaceful or someone might get hurt otherwise. Sarutobi-san can also act as a witness. All in all, it's a win-win situation. What do you say?"

Fugaku looked very displeased.

Shisui groaned in protest from his position on the floor.

The stun-gun crackled with electricity.

Everyone agreed readily to Itachi's suggestion, and the negotiations were soon underway.

**IV**

Later on that afternoon there was a party at the Uchiha Sector of the village. At least Itachi _thought_ it was supposed to be a party. There was no music, very little laughter, the men and the women were separated in two different rooms throughout the entire thing, most people looked like they had forgotten how to smile or had eaten a very sour lemon, and no one seemed to speak higher than a whisper.

'_I've had more fun at funerals.'_ Itachi thought to himself as he observed the men in the room. He had been introduced to everyone in the room, and had then promptly forgotten the names and had given everyone nicknames until he had run out of adjectives that fitted the proud, obnoxious, sneering, etc. male members of the Uchiha Clan. He had only met Mikoto from the female side of things, and therefore couldn't judge them to the same degree.

Even though the party was supposed to be in his honour, Itachi didn't feel honoured at all. In fact, he felt very bored. Bored enough to start singing 'This Is the Song That Never Ends' to himself, until he realised what he was doing, and forced himself to stop. _'Screw this, I'm getting a bit of fresh air.'_

Itachi stretched and took a deep breath of the fresh air, then he ignored the fact that he was barefoot (for the party he had been forced to wear a fancy-schmancy kimono for men) and stepped onto one of the many paths.

All the houses in the Uchiha Sector were made in the traditional style, and the gardens surrounding the Main House were extensive and beautifully decorated. There were several tasteful ponds, merry brooks connecting them all together. The sakura trees were well tended, grew in interesting shapes and sizes, and were decorated with the paper lights, giving the entire garden a calm, slightly mysterious glow. Wind chimes tinkled softly here and there, and fireflies by the dozens gathered above the ponds. It was like a scene from a fairytale.

'_You can really notice the difference between the air here and the air back in the USA.' _The teen mused to himself. _'The air back home is polluted – even in the middle of nowhere you can notice the presence of humans. But here it's so fresh sharp it almost cuts my lungs as I breathe. Heh, I doubt there is a single car in this entire shinobi-infested world.' _

Right in the middle of his deep contemplation whether or not it was wise to give a trained serial killer (in this case a shinobi) a bazooka, and what would be the consequences of such an action, he noticed someone else a little further ahead of him on the path, and stopped up for a moment to watch.

'_Well, well, Sasuke-kun, so this is where you have hidden yourself. I haven't seen you since the start to this so-called party.'_ Itachi smiled when he noticed the relaxed and easy posture the younger boy now sported. _'Though you still hunch a bit – probably more out of habit than anything – this is the most normal I have ever seen you like in the short time we have known each other.'_

Sasuke easily picked up on Itachi's quiet footsteps, and quickly retreated into his timid persona before turning around to face the newcomer. When he saw exactly whom it was, he hesitated and seemed not to know how to act around the teenager. Sure, earlier that day Itachi had been very friendly and kind, but it wouldn't be the first time that someone had betrayed him after spending time with the rest of the Uchiha Clan.

Itachi could practically read these thoughts on the younger boy's face, and he smiled. "Good evening, Sasuke-kun. I've been searching for you."

"Y-you h-have?"

"Of course I have. There is only so many pompous peacocks a person can handle," Itachi said. "Besides, you are the smartest one of the bunch in my opinion."

Sasuke blinked in surprise, his eyes wide. Obviously he wasn't used to compliments. "… a-ano…" he squeaked. "I-I-I a-am?"

"Indeed! You got out of that mind-numbing, sorry excuse for a party at the very beginning which was _very_ smart, and I admire you for that! Bleh! I swear I could feel my IQ-level dropping faster than a stone at the end there!"

The younger boy couldn't find anything to say to that, therefore he said nothing. Instead he studied the taller teen from underneath his bangs, trying to figure out exactly how someone like Itachi had managed the bring down a genius ninja like Shisui. The question had been bothering him the entire day, and he knew that he wasn't the only one. Everyone wondered the same thing.

"You are wondering about something." Itachi said suddenly, the smile never leaving his face.

Sasuke jumped and quickly looked away. "Er…"

"Since you keep looking at me, I assume you are wondering about something I did or said. And the only thing – in my opinion – which could get an excellent shinobi as yourself so curious, is the little scene between myself and Shisui-san earlier today. Correct?"

"I-I d-didn't m-m-mean t-to-" Sasuke stammered worse than ever, a blush of embarrassment covering his face.

Itachi couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't mind, Sasuke-kun. If people weren't curious then we wouldn't know anything! So go ahead and ask me anything you want to know."

It took a few stuttered tries for the younger boy to finally get his courage together to ask his question. "H-how d-did you m-manage t-to d-deaf-feat S-Shisui-san?"

"By an enormous amount of luck, amongst other things. None of you expected me to pull something like that, right? And there you have the rest of the answer: you underestimated me, you assumed too many things – and without enough evidence to support your assumption it could turn out very bad for everyone, as has been proved."

The younger boy nodded hesitantly. "B-but Sh-Shisui-san shouldn't h-have f-fallen so quickly b-because of a sm-small electric charge."

"Usually not, but I didn't aim for the usual places on a body." Itachi grinned. "No matter how weak the attack or how genius the warrior, there are some places on the body where not even the toughest person can withstand pain – the crotch area in our case. You shinobi are trained to kill efficiently, therefore I assume you would never go for something literally 'under the belt'."

"N-not that I kn-know of." Sasuke said, his face thoughtful. "Th-the teachers at the A-Academy reprimanded a student not too l-long ago for p-pulling something l-like that." He added.

"There you go. In such ways certain unwritten rules enter the human conscious, and stay in the subconscious all our lives without us knowing about it. Only occasionally do we break these rules – whether to make a point or to defend ourselves – and mostly when we feel that we have no other choice."

After a long, thoughtful silence, Sasuke finally commented: "The brain is confusing."

"Yes, something like that." Itachi agreed.

**IV**

"What is _that_?" Uchiha Fugaku demanded the next morning as he looked Itachi up and down.

"Clothes?" the sleepy teenager suggested. He walked over to Mikoto, got his breakfast then kneeled down at the traditional, short-legged table. Quite frankly Itachi couldn't see what was wrong with his getup. This was what he usually wore when he wasn't at work, and it was comfortable and flexible, and he liked it. He wasn't one of those extreme Goths or punks who went around in their costumes all day long, and he wasn't even close to being one of those who walked around naked, so he really didn't see the problem.

"Those are not the Uchiha-clothes you were given yesterday," Fugaku pointed out needlessly.

Itachi thought back on the clothes he had been given, and had to admit that some of those getups were rather cool. And he would've worn them if there hadn't been for one small fact: each and ever piece of clothing – from hair-ties to undergarments – were marked with the red-and-white Uchiha fan. They would've made him feel like a possession of the Uchiha Clan, and he really didn't like even the thought of that, therefore he had forgone those clothes and had chosen his own. Now he only had to keep Fugaku from getting hopping mad about it all.

"You have already done enough for me what with giving me food and a roof over my head for the next couple of months," the teen said between bites. "I wouldn't presume to ask you for any more than that. Besides, my own clothes will do, and I will wash them myself if that's what you are worrying about. As long as I have them there will be no problems."

"Hn." Was the displeased reply as Fugaku finished his own breakfast and stood up. "Do not forget your appointment with Shisui later on." That was the man's oh-so-wonderful parting-remark, and the sound of the outer door closing signalled that the man had left the building.

'_Believe me, I won't forget.'_ Itachi thought to himself with a sigh. He might have avoided any true training regime during the discussion in the Hokage's office, but he hadn't been able to weasel out of it completely. Now the agreement was that whenever Shisui had the time, then the two of them would spend some time sparring, and the first session would be that morning. _'Luckily Shisui is a very busy shinobi, and there won't be too many of these torture sessions. Nor will they last very long, and I praise myself lucky. The man looked ready to kill me yesterday.'_

The man in question entered the kitchen at that moment, and simply sat down at the table forcing Mikoto to bring his breakfast even though Shisui had passed right by the woman when he entered the room. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Shisui-kun," Mikoto said.

"Yo." Was Itachi's reply.

Shisui frowned at the latter greeting. "That is not very dignified of you, cousin," he said. "You are an Uchiha, you should act like one. And you can start by sitting up straight."

"It's too early to think properly," came the deadpan response.

"Honestly." Shisui looked ready to do something as childish as rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"G-good m-morning," Sasuke greeted and walked up to Mikoto. "M-may I h-have my lunch?"

Mikoto smiled as she started wrapping the lunch in a brown bag. "Aren't you going to eat breakfast?"

"C-can't, I d-don't have the t-time. I over-overslept this morning."

"A shinobi never oversleeps and is never late," Shisui sneered.

Sasuke blinked. "B-but H-Hatake Ka-Kakashi is famous f-for being l-late, a-and he is-s o-one of t-the best sh-shinobi in K-Konoha."

Shisui's face darkened like a storm cloud. "Hatake Kakashi is a nobody, a thief and a traitor. If it hadn't been for a certain Uchiha, then the man wouldn't even be an active shinobi today."

"Here you go, dear," Mikoto cut in before the argument could escalate, and sent Sasuke off to school. "Did you enjoy breakfast, Itachi-kun? I know it isn't like you are used to."

Itachi smiled at the woman. "I haven't eaten anything this good in ages! I myself am the type to burn water, and it's a miracle if I ever make anything edible."

The woman actually giggled. "Thank you." She said as she picked up the dirty dishes.

"Are you finished yet, cousin?"

Although Shisui might have considered himself too high and mighty to roll his eyes, Itachi didn't, and took great care to roll his eyes so that the older one could see him. "Hai, hai, lead on, brave leader, and I shall follow reluctantly."

Shisui snorted and led the way to one of the training grounds. There Itachi spent the next half an hour doing his best to avoid Shisui's attacks, and although he did have some success, it wasn't enough and by the end of it all he was aching and was developing bruises in what seemed to be all the colours of the rainbow.

"You cannot fight, you cannot use chakra, and you cannot defend yourself," Shisui sneered as they walked homewards again. "Is there anything that you _can_ do?"

"I can put a stun-gun to your family jewels and electrocute you again if you stand still long enough." Itachi replied without batting an eyelash, and had trouble hiding his smirk when Shisui twitched. "What is that?" he asked a little while later, pointing to a building down a street to the right.

"That is the Shinobi Academy."

"Indeed."

Shisui nearly growled. "Listen, I do not have the time to take you on a tour today. I have an upcoming mission to get ready for, and I have already wasted enough time as it is."

"Then go ahead and go back," Itachi said and headed towards the school. "I can find my own way around."

'_I wouldn't trust you to walk in a straight line,'_ the older man thought to himself. "Alright, then. If you need directions ask anyone you wish, no one dares to say no to an Uchiha. I shall see you later then, cousin."

"Later." Itachi confirmed, and lifted his hand in a lazy salute, but he didn't stop nor turn around. His eyes were firmly on the building up ahead, his mind firmly on one person inside. _'Watch out, Sasuke-kun, big-brother Itachi is here to annoy you for the rest of the school day. MUAHAHAHA!!!! Damn I feel evil right now!'_

…

'_I should've brought some pocky along.'_

**IV**

There, it's done. Please tell me what you think!

The way I figure it is that since Itachi disappeared, then Fugaku was really obsessed with getting a new heir as soon as possible in case they didn't find Itachi. Then Sasuke was born, a year earlier than in the manga/anime, but didn't meet up to Fugaku's high hopes, so to the King of Frowns it looked like a heaven-sent miracle when Shisui's parents kicked the bucket, and Sasuke was thrown off to the side. The point of this explanation is that Sasuke is a year older than he was in the manga.

Someone asked me exactly how I had developed Itachi's character, and I have decided to post my earlier versions at my **livejournal**. Check it out and tell me what you think!

Thanks to:

Meemei, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Spirit HellFire, Yami no Hikari-Chan, Beta the Second, muto shizuka, zi ma gesto, Chibi of Many Names, Oldmagic, QueenOfHalf-BakedIdeas, Kaaera, magerm, Laughing Cat, Honebar, hybridgurl, and LynnGryphon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Please enjoy the following insanity.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Five:**

_And if I had to give you more,  
__It's only been a year  
__Now I got my foot through the door  
__And I aint goin' nowhere  
__It took a while to get me here  
__And I'm gonna take my time  
__Don't fight that good shit in your ear  
__Now let me blow ya mind  
_**"Let Me Blow Ya Mind" - Eve & Gwen Steffani**

The Shinobi Academy was a two-storey building with large windows, and a red sign proudly proclaiming it to be what it was. The front of the building was like any usual schoolyard, dotted with the occasional tree, a swing-set and a drinking fountain. The entire thing was surrounded by a tall, wooden fence. The fence ran around off to both sides, and Itachi supposed that there were several forms of training grounds behind the Academy building, it would be logical seeing as it was a school of shinobi and all.

At the moment school was still in session, but Itachi hadn't been standing there for more than five minutes when the bell rang and children started pouring out of the front doors, shouting about the joys of recess. The children – ranging from ages seven to thirteen, though there was the occasional person over fifteen – quickly got into their usual groups and cliques, and started to play games or simply stood around and talked. A blond boy that exited the doors was followed faithfully by a horde of squealing and admiring girls.

"Gosh! That was such a wonderful kawarimi back there, Naruto-sama!" a pink-haired girl gushed. "No one can match your skills!"

"You're so cool, Naruto-sama!"

"Get your hands off of Naruto-sama, Ino-pig!"

"As if he'd ever want you, Forehead-girl!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at this, and watched in amusement as the arguing fangirls suddenly realised that the blond boy wasn't there anymore, and hurried after him and out of sight around the building. _'I pity that poor boy. Don't know if he deserves to be annoyed to death by fangirls or not, but I still pity him. Now, where is Sasuke?'_

Sasuke was in fact the last student who exited the building, and with him was a shy, young girl in a fawn-coloured, zip-up hoodie. Together they looked around, then quickly made their way to a spot that was surrounded by trees, and well out of the way of the other children. Itachi observed this, then made his own way towards the duo while sticking close to the wooden fence. No one really paid him any mind, seemingly used to older relatives coming for a visit, and he easily reached his target. Sasuke and the girl turned around when they heard his approach, and both stared in surprise.

"Aloha!" Itachi said with a grin and a wave. "I hope you don't mind me visiting, Sasuke-kun. Our conversation yesterday piqued my curiosity, and I really want to see what a shinobi school is like, and, well, here I am."

"N-no, I d-don't m-mind." Sasuke stuttered. It was clear that he wasn't used to this sort of thing at all, and that never before had an Uchiha come to pay him any attention at school, no matter how much he might have wished for it. "Th-this is Hyuuga Hinata-san. Hinata-san, this is m-my older b-brother, Ki-Kishimoto Itachi-san."

"I-it's n-nice to meet y-you, Itachi-san," Hinata stuttered out. Just like Sasuke she hardly dared to meet Itachi's eyes, and was poking her fingers together nervously.

"It's an honour to meet such a lovely lady as yourself, Hinata-san," Itachi said in return, and took her hand gently and shook it. The girl turned completely red, squeaked and quickly turned away. Itachi blinked in surprise, before he turned back to Sasuke. "Might I ask a favour of you, Sasuke-kun?"

"S-sure."

"Would you do me the honours of giving me a tour of the Shinobi Academy? I understand perfectly if you don't want to, or if you don't have the time, and I'll just come back another day if that's the case."

Sasuke shook his head vigorously. "N-no! I d-don't mind, and w-we have the time. H-Hinata-san, w-would you mind?"

"N-not at all."

Itachi placed his hands companionably on their shoulders, and slowly guided them out from their secluded spot. "I thank you both. Well, where to first?"

Neither of them spoke much at the beginning, and stuttered when they did, but the jovial and easygoing manners of the older teen made them relax little by little, and before the tour was over both Hinata and Sasuke were talking more freely, and even laughed on occasion. Children stared at them as they walked about. Never had they seen the two shyest people in the entire Academy so free and relaxed, and they wondered what kind of miracle the unknown, older teen might have performed to get such a result. The silence of the children drew the attention of the teachers inside the academy, and more than one came to the window to investigate. They stared as well once they realised what was going on, and several exited the building to keep a closer eye on the situation. Itachi ignored the attention, and was successful in distracting both Hinata and Sasuke thusly keeping them from withdrawing into their shells again, and the trio spent a rather enjoyable half-an-hour walking about the grounds.

"Here's where w-we train our m-marksmanship." Sasuke said as they reached the large field. Wooden posts were placed all over the place, and a white line had been drawn on the grass. Students were supposed to stay behind the line, both to keep them from getting too close to a target and cheat, and to keep them out of harms way.

"Those targets are far away." Itachi said and used his hand to shade his eyes from the sun. "And you can hit those from this far away?"

"S-sometimes," Hinata said. "W-we aren't fully trained, and-"

She was cut off by wild cheering, and the trio looked over to their left. The blond boy Itachi had seen earlier that day was obviously training his marksmanship, and his fangirls were faithfully surrounding him and cheering loudly whenever he hit something, which he did often. The boy smirked at all the praise, got ready and let another projectile fly. Just like all the others it hit the target dead on, and the girls cheered again.

"Would you two mind giving me a demonstration?" Itachi asked, and completely ignored the spectacle of fangirls.

"B-but th-there's al-already someone practicing, Itachi-san." Sasuke protested weakly clearly not wanting to, and Hinata nodded from her hiding place behind Sasuke.

"Ah, but I didn't ask him, I asked you." The older teen smiled. "Or – if you don't want to give me a demonstration – you can at the very least show me one of those throwing-stars up close." To this neither of them had any protest, and Sasuke took up a shuriken from his thigh-holster while Hinata brought out a kunai. Itachi inspected them, tested the edges thusly cutting his finger, and weighted them in his hands.

"Very sharp, and surprisingly light," he commented finally. "Would you mind if I tried throwing these? How are you supposed to hold them?"

Sasuke quickly righted the grip. "Th-this finger goes here, o-otherwise you'd cut it off. A-and be careful with the k-kunai; since it has no hand-guard, it's e-easy to slip up and cut yourself."

Itachi nodded and followed the instructions carefully. "Like this?"

"Y-yes," Hinata said. "You h-have a good, f-firm grip, It-Itachi-san, I d-don't think you'd slip w-with the kunai."

"Aye, it comes from the shooting-practice with my gun. It has quite a powerful backlash, and one has to hold on tight with both hands."

Although the two younger teens weren't really sure what exactly a shooting-practice with a gun involved, they got the theory behind it, and nodded in understanding. The three of them then walked up to the white line, and Sasuke and Hinata instructed Itachi on how to throw correctly without pulling any muscles or falling over. It was more work than Itachi had expected, and they ended up with quite a few silly stances – some on purpose, others not – and it didn't take long before all three were laughing happily. This caught the attention of the fangirls, and when the group realised what the trio was trying to do, they made their thoughts known. Loudly.

"What is such a handsome man doing with those losers?" the pink-haired girl wondered.

"Probably doesn't know any better." Another girl replied. "Oi! Mr Stranger! If you want to really learn something you should come over here and watch Naruto-sama at work!"

Itachi sighed and rolled his eyes internally as he watched Sasuke and Hinata retreat into their shells, and he nearly cursed those fangirls. He had worked hard for the past hour to get those two to relax, and then a group of annoying girls came along and ruined all the work. And the blond boy – Naruto, or whatever his name was – wasn't helping things when he smirked.

"Are you going to show off your atrocious throwing-skills, _dobe_?!" the blond called, however, there was something in his voice which took away the worst sting, and it would've been fine if the fangirls hadn't nearly killed themselves laughing. The blond boy sneered, showing his disgust for all the girls.

"Ne, Sasuke-san, do you think the teachers might allow me to sit in on some of your classes?" Itachi asked the boy in an attempt to keep his attention away from all the jeering.

"… a-an-ano… I…"

"Can you imagine that?!" the pink-haired girl exclaimed mockingly. "It actually talks!"

The others laughed again.

Itachi tried to ignore them. "Do you think the teachers would mind?" he asked again.

"Keh! He must be an idiot despite his age." The pink-haired girl continued, obviously talking about Itachi. "Especially since he continues to hang out with those two losers."

A platinum-blond, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail, looked uncertain at that. "Sakura, I don't think you should insult him," she said.

'_So some of those girls actually have brains!'_ the teen in question mused to himself.

"Who are you anyway?" Naruto demanded, eyes narrowed. "I can't remember ever seeing you before, and no Uchiha has ever paid much attention to the dobe – except his mother, that is – so it's improbable that you are one of them."

Itachi sighed. There would be no escaping these people apparently. "If you want someone's name, you should present yourself first." He said, his back still turned to the large group.

"You don't know who Naruto-sama is?!" the fangirls shouted in horror.

"Which rock did you live under for the past twelve years?!" the pink-haired girl, Sakura, demanded.

The blond boy seemed slightly surprised as well, but then nodded in agreement to Itachi's statement. "I am Uzumaki Naruto, the son of the Yondaime Hokage, the adoptive grandson of the Sandaime Hokage, and top rookie of the year three years running. And you are…?" he let the sentence hang, obviously expecting the older teen to introduce himself.

However, as had already been established, Itachi was far from normal, and his only reply to this was, "None of you business at this point in time. Sasuke-kun, Hinata-san, lets go inside. The bell will ring soon if I'm not mistaken, and I still want to ask your teacher to sit in on the lessons."

Everyone simply stared in shock, until Sakura broke the silence with a screech. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Naruto-sama introduced himself, now it's your turn, you bastard!"

"Not at all," Itachi told her while putting his arms around both Sasuke and Hinata's shoulders. "I never promised to introduce myself, you simply assumed that I would." He started to lead the two teens away and towards the entrance.

"Who are you?!" the blond demanded, obviously not used to being ignored.

Itachi stopped walking, sighed, and turned his head enough to glare at the group. "You are an annoying bunch of brats. C'mon Sasuke-kun, Hinata-san," and with that he lead them around the building and inside, leaving a large group of shocked people behind.

**V**

The teacher, Umino Iruka, easily agreed to allow Itachi to sit in on the class as long as the teen didn't disturb the lecture. Iruka-san's assistant and fellow teacher, Mizuki, suggested that they had the students put on a slight show for Itachi, and thusly also test the kids in their abilities at the same time. This was agreed upon after some thought, and the students groaned when the announcement was made.

"Now, before we begin, I want one of you to give me an explanation of what chakra is," Iruka-san said. This was both to give Itachi an inkling of what was going on, and also to see if the kids remembered the correct answer. "Yes, Haruno Sakura, go ahead."

The pink-haired girl in the first row stood up, sent a quick look towards Uzumaki Naruto, squealed, then proceeded with her explanation. "Chakra is a mix of the energy existent in ever cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained by training and experience. For those who didn't understand-" here she sent a look towards Itachi (who was yawning), "-chakra is simply the mix between the energy in every cell and the stamina a person has built up. Chakra is important as we cannot perform many of the shinobi techniques without it."

"So what you are saying is that one doesn't have to be a martial artist to use chakra," Itachi wondered. "A person who has built up stamina through other activities – say, for example, dancing – can also use chakra and perform these jutsu of yours?"

Iruka-san nodded. "You are correct," he said. "But a martial artist will always have a little something extra when performing a technique, than a dancer. The intent of the jutsu will be slightly different, and it will be a stronger jutsu since martial artists are physically stronger than dancers."

"Alright everyone," Mizuki spoke up. "When you are called, please step up here and perform a perfect henge of either myself or Iruka-san. First up is Aburame Shino."

Thusly the lesson commenced, and Itachi watched with great amusement as kid after kid turned into perfect copies of their teachers. Some did better than others, and several sent nervous looks towards the older teen in the corner before they did the required hand-seals and transformed. Uzumaki Naruto was one of those who sent a look towards Itachi, before he used a one-handed hand-seal and turned into Iruka. The girls squealed and cheered, and Iruka congratulated the blond on mastering the one-handed version of the hand-seal, which was – from what Itachi could gather – more difficult than when using both hands.

"Just wait, Iruka-sensei," the blond said and sent a triumphant smirk towards Itachi. "I'll master it to such a degree that I won't have to use hand-seals."

Finally it was Sasuke's turn, and the boy was very, very nervous. He fumbled through the hand-seals, and with a poof of smoke turned into Mizuki. He held the henge for a minute, then dispelled it and looked hopefully at the two teachers, both of whom shook their heads in disappointment.

"Still not perfect, Sasuke-kun," Iruka-san said kindly.

People snickered, a couple of them pointing and whispering something nasty.

"What a loser." Haruno Sakura remarked, and other girls nodded in agreement.

"If it continues this way then you'll fail the exams again." Mizuki added a bit more harshly. "Move out of the way, and let the next person step up."

Sasuke lowered his head and moved off to the side, then sat back down in his seat which was right beside Itachi. He refused to look at the older teen, not wanting the see the disappointed look that would undoubtedly grace the older male's face.

Itachi ignored the rest of the kids, and focused on Sasuke. "Why do you think you can't do the henge?" he asked, but his voice carried no malice at all; it was just a simple, neutral question.

"I-I d-don't know," Sasuke whispered, still not looking up. "I-Iruka-san s-said th-that a-at my l-level I sh-should be able t-to figure out w-what I'm doing work, b-but I s-simply can't."

"Hmm," Itachi thought for a moment. "Perhaps I can help, then. Would you mind changing into me?"

The younger boy looked up. "A-are y-you sure?"

"Of course."

"R-right n-now?"

"Yes, right now."

Sasuke looked around the room with a worried and nervous gaze, then sighed heavily and studied Itachi for a minute before he brought his hands together in the correct hand-seal. "**Henge!**" he whispered quietly, and a puff of smoke later, a perfect copy of Itachi sat in Sasuke's seat.

Itachi studied his double for a moment, then smiled. "Yep, I know what's wrong."

"You do?" Sasuke had appeared again, and hadn't stuttered at all.

He nodded. "Your transformations are too perfect."

"Huh?"

"One side of the human face is never a mirror image of the other," Itachi said. Upon seeing that Sasuke still wasn't understanding – or didn't let himself understand – the older teen grabbed one of Sasuke's pencils, and held it up vertically in front of his own face. "Check it out. Does the left side of my face mirror the right, or are there differences?"

Sasuke studied Itachi's face, and with the pencil acting like a sort of divider between the right side and the left, it was suddenly ridiculously easy to see the small but significant differences. "I see it," the boy whispered. "One of your eyes is slightly narrower than the other, your nose is tilting marginally to the right, and your left ear sticks out a little more than the right."

Itachi nodded. "Indeed, there you go. That's the answer to your problems. Just imagine a line dividing the left side and the right, and you should be able to pick up on it easily."

"Thank you, Itachi-kun." Sasuke smiled.

The older teen grinned back. "You're welcome."

**V**

The end of the school day arrived, and this week Sasuke was the unlucky one who was supposed to help the teachers clean up. Itachi had waved the younger boy off, and told him that he'd wait for him outside, then he had proceeded to go outside and sit down in a shaded spot underneath a tree.

'_Despite it all, I'd say that this was a productive day,'_ the teen nodded to himself thoughtfully. _'Although I'd like to have a talk with that Haruno Sakura. Honestly, what a little bitch.'_

"Ah, Itachi-san, just the person I wanted to speak with." The speaker was none other than Mizuki, and the white-haired teacher sat down beside the teen without being invited at all, as if they were old pals or something.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. _'Now, what does this idiot want?'_ he wondered. Throughout the day he had observed Mizuki, and he really didn't like what he had seen. He was even contemplating to pay a visit to the Hokage and warn the old man about him; there was something in Mizuki's manners and eyes that set every instinct Itachi had on high alert, although no one else seemed to have noticed it.

Mizuki was unaware of the younger man's thoughts, and leaned against the tree trunk. "It must be weird for you." He started. "This is a very different world from what you are used to, and you are undoubtedly feeling out of place, ne?"

"Hnn." Was Itachi's only reply. Let the man assume whatever he wanted to.

"I can help you fit in better." Mizuki said, his voice lower and lower by the second.

"Indeed?"

The white-haired teacher smirked, obviously thinking that he had caught Itachi's attention. "Yes. There is a large scroll in the Hokage's office, and in it you will find many techniques that no one else knows. You would definitely fit in if you learned some of those."

"And how can you be so sure that I want to fit in?" Itachi asked.

"All your questions during the classes. You are almost desperate to be acknowledged by the Uchiha Clan despite the short while you have known each other, aren't you?" Mizuki smirked. "Your life in the Other World wasn't very good, was it?"

'_Is this guy seriously a shinobi?'_ the teen wondered, though out loud all he said was, "Hnn."

"All you have to do is grab the scroll that I told you about, and meet me at Training Ground 17 – which is at the very edge of the village borders. There I will teach you, but it will take time, so if you want to finish before you return to the Other World, then we better start as soon as possible. Perhaps even tonight."

'_Right, that's it, this dude is an idiot. Not only that, but he is underestimating me because I didn't grow up as shinobi. He probably chose me for this task because, as said, I didn't grow up as a shinobi, no one would suspect me, and he figured that he can kill me easily once he has this scroll. Just how stupid and naïve does he think I am? I feel insulted.' _

"Tonight at midnight, then, Itachi-san," Mizuki said as he stood up, dusted himself off and walked away.

'_The Hokage definitely needs to know about this.'_ Itachi sighed, but cheered up when he saw Sasuke exiting the school building, a proud smile on the boys face. "Well, don't you just look like the boy who ate the pocky! What's up?"

"I-I did a henge in front of Iruka-sensei a-again, a-and he said that it was j-just right! I am definitely g-going to pass the ex-exam this year!"

Itachi grinned. "Well done, Sasuke-kun! Say what, on the way back to the Uchiha Sector, I'll treat you to a meal of your choice. What'cha say about that?"

"B-but y-you don't h-have much m-money, a-and d-dinner-"

"I don't care. This is a special occasion, and it needs celebration."

"I-I haven't p-passed the exam yet e-either!" Sasuke protested in another attempt to keep himself out of the spotlight.

But Itachi refused to let the boy go back to his shy ways, and completely ignored whatever protests Sasuke came up with. "Although I have never been a big-brother before, I'm quite sure that this is how one is supposed to act. So all you can do, Sasuke-kun, is to accept it because I'm not about to give in." He smirked and ruffled the younger boy's hair.

Sasuke had frozen up at that action, and he simply stared dumbfounded as Itachi continued down the street. No one had ever ruffled his hair before, no one had been willing to spend money on a celebratory dinner for him before either. Itachi really was the weirdest and most surprising person that Sasuke had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

"Oi, Sasuke-kun! Are you coming or not?!" Itachi called from further down the street, breaking the younger boy's thoughts. The boy in question shook his head, then hurried to catch up to the older teen, and together they walked to the closest stall and bought some dango, then headed back home. Just outside the gates to the Uchiha Sector they were stopped by the sudden appearance of an ANBU.

"M-may w-we h-help you?" Sasuke stuttered out when it was apparent that Itachi wouldn't say anything.

The ANBU nodded. "Hokage-sama requests the presence of Kishimoto Itachi in his office."

"When?" Itachi asked.

"Right away," came the short reply.

"As you wish." The older teen turned to Sasuke. "Tell Mikoto-san not to wait with the dinner for me, alright? I'll see you later, Sasuke-kun." Itachi ruffled the younger boys hair again, received a shy 'goodbye' in return, and focused on the waiting ANBU. "Alright, lead the way, mate."

The ANBU nodded a quick 'goodbye' to Sasuke, grabbed a hold of Itachi's arm, and then the two of them disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving Sasuke alone outside the gates of the Uchiha Sector. Sasuke, in turn, was chuckling quietly. He had seen Itachi's ridiculously shocked expression before they had disappeared, and Sasuke was sure that it would stick with him as long as he lived. Never before had he seen any Uchiha look so silly, and he probably never would see it again.

'_But who knows?'_ the young boy mused. _'With Itachi-san around, anything seems possible. I'm glad that he came.'_

**V**

There, please tell me what you think.

Naruto is something of a secondary character in this story, and I hope you don't mind what I have made him into. He won't stay like that forever, so be patient please. And as for Sakura. Well, I really, really do not like that girl, and it has really come out in this story. I've always wanted to write her as a bitch, but I couldn't do it in 'Over the Hills'. However, if enough of you want it to, I can change her slightly into a kinder person, though I wouldn't be fond of that.

Thanks to:

THE Hyuuga Neji, RobotPirateNinja, Besjer, Curlz-Shadow Kitsune, Honebar, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Snake of Medusa, dragonmage27, Beta the Second, Meemei, Kingdark, QueenOfHalf-BakedIdeas, Artemis1000, xMazy, Laughing Cat and The Insane Imortal Dragon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Here you go, chapter six already! Please enjoy and tell me what you think! On another note I have my exams coming up and I'm also going to my very first cosplay convention (as none other than Uchiha Itachi!), so it might take some time before I update again. Sorry!

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Six**

Upon their reappearance in the antechamber to the Hokage's office, Itachi proceeded to do a show of waving his arms around in an attempt to keep his balance. The ANBU and the Hokage's assistant simply stared, a small smile on their faces – whether the face was hidden or not. Never before had they met anyone quite like Itachi, and what made it funnier was the fact that the teen was an Uchiha – Uchiha! The clan that prided themselves on being graceful, deadly, in control, and better than anyone else. The clan that would never let themselves do such embarrassing things as imitating a jumping jack.

When he finally regained his balance, Itachi sighed in relief. "Sorry about that," he said to the amused ANBU. "Next time you decide to pull something like that, please warn me, alright?"

"Of course," the ANBU replied. "Shall we go in? The Hokage is waiting for us."

"Lead the way!" the teen exclaimed and strode after the masked shinobi. He hadn't taken more than a couple of steps when he suddenly tripped over nothing at all, and had an up close and personal meeting with the floor.

"Please be careful, Kishimoto Itachi-san," the ANBU said, not quite able to hide the amusement in his voice. "That is a deceptively flat floor."

"Yes, I've noticed that," the teen grumbled as he got up. "Not only is it deceptively flat, but it's also very clean and seems to have taken a liking to me for some strange reason."

"I shall complain to Hokage-sama for you as soon as possible, which makes it very fortunate that we have a meeting scheduled right now. Come along, Kishimoto-san."

"Hai, hai."

The Hokage was working on papers when Itachi and the ANBU entered, but looked up at them with a smile when they stopped in front of the desk. "Thank you, ANBU-san, you are dismissed."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." The ANBU disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Now _that_ is one hell of a transportation-method." Itachi commented as he sat down. "Well then, my fellow pocky addict, what can I do for you?"

The Hokage suddenly looked very grave, the lines on his face suddenly seeming even deeper in his worry. "I know about your confrontation with Mizuki." He said.

"Ah." Itachi nodded in understanding. "I didn't think you would let me run around Konoha without some form of babysitter around. So what do you want to do about the current situation?"

"I want you to meet with Mizuki. Try to understand why he wants t o betray and abandon his village." Sarutobi-san was all seriousness.

"I'm not a Konoha shinobi, heck, I'm not even a citizen!"

"You are a member of the Uchiha Clan, and almost by default a Konoha citizen; and you don't need a shinobi rank to receive missions. There are many civilians in Konoha who bear the title of 'tokubetsu shinobi', only called on when there is no other choice – but most live their lives without ever putting on a hitai-ate – and your sharp, analytical mind gives you more than enough qualifications for the position. Despite this, official records have to be made, so you will be in our register from now on. Do you accept the mission, Itachi-kun?"

Itachi stared at the old man, his thoughts moving quickly. _'It will be dangerous, too dangerous for an untrained civilian as myself, which means that the Hokage will send another shinobi with me – most likely a higher rank than Mizuki – and that decreases the danger some, but still… Do I really want to get involved? This might create ties to the village that will be impossible to break, and I'll be caught in the net.' _

"Itachi-kun?" the Sandaime inquired patiently. "I will not force you to do anything you don't want to do. It's your choice."

'_On the other hand, I'm curious about what makes a shinobi want to defect from his village. Is the same reasons that someone back in USA would have, or are the reasons different? Well, they say that curiosity killed the cat – luckily the cat has nine lives.' _The teen met the older man's eyes square on, a small smirk flittering across his face and for a moment giving him a surprisingly sinister look. "I accept the mission, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi nodded. "You will not go alone, Itachi-kun. I shall send another shinobi with you. His name is Hatake Kakashi, and he is one of the best ninja in Konoha."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. _'Didn't Shisui complain about this guy just this morning? Saying that the man was infamous in his lateness for everything. Interesting.'_

Meanwhile the Hokage had called for his assistant, and instructed the other man to send out a call for Hatake Kakashi. Now he turned back to the teenager. "Hatake-san should be here in an hour or so."

The silent _'I hope'_ went unsaid, but practically echoed throughout the office.

"Not to worry, Hokage-san, I'll just check in every half an hour or so." The teen stood up and stretched. "Where can I get this pesky paperwork out of the way?"

"As soon as you exit the antechamber take the first door to the right, and explain to the shinobi there your circumstances. He will help you fill out everything." Sarutobi scribbled a quick note, put his personal stamp on it, and handed it to Itachi. "Here, show this to him as well."

Itachi nodded. "Thank you. First door to the right, huh?"

"Indeed. I'll see you later, Itachi-kun."

"Yeah, see you later."

**VI**

The registration went quickly, and the man working in the office was patient and helped Itachi fill everything out. The fact was, even though Itachi could speak Japanese almost perfectly, he could hardly read and write it. There simply hadn't been much reason for him to learn how to, and now the other shinobi had to fill out everything for him. Luckily the man didn't comment on anything, and soon the entire thing was over.

"Alright, Itachi-san, the only thing we need to do now is give you your new hitai-ate and take a picture for the records." The shinobi said. "Here's your headband, now please put it on and sit down in that chair over there." He nodded towards a chair placed in the middle of the room as he started setting up the camera.

"Hai, hai," Itachi stared at the headband for a minute, before putting it on and sitting down in the designated chair. It felt weird, the entire situation was blown completely out of proportion – and somewhere along the way Itachi knew that he had lost much of his control over it all.

"Sit still for a moment…" the shinobi said as he peered through the camera and adjusting it. "One moment please… ready… set… and now!" and with that he pushed the button, a small lamp on the camera blinked three times, and a click later the picture had been taken. "Thank you."

Itachi nodded and stood up. "Sure."

At that moment the doors to the room sprung open, and a six year old boy ran in, his long, blue scarf trailing after him, shouting something sounding like "Old man! Fight me!". Three steps into the room, the boy tread on the end of the scarf, stumbled and fell face-first to the floor.

Itachi slowly cocked his head to the side, his arms crossed over his chest. _'What… the… hell?'_

The boy looked around wildly, and blinked in surprise. "Huh? Grandpa isn't here?"

"Why would you think that Sandaime-sama is here, Konohamaru-san?" the shinobi asked calmly, apparently used to the spectacle.

"But grandpa is always here when a new shinobi is being registered!" Konohamaru exclaimed, then he gazed up at Itachi. "So you're the one!"

Itachi cocked his head to the other side. _'This is the Hokage's grandson? That means that he is the adopted little brother of that Uzumaki Naruto.'_

"Stop staring at me like that! I'm the grandson of the Hokage and the little brother of the rookie of the year three years run-! Oi! Are you even listening to me, you jerk! OI!"

The teen ignored the boy and headed towards the door. It had been little more than half an hour since he had had his talk with the Hokage, so it was about time for him to check if Hatake Kakashi had made an appearance. He had barely reached the door when it slip open again, this time allowing a tall man in the blue shinobi-uniform to enter – and forcing Itachi to jump out of the way. He wore small sunglasses and his hitai-ate had been folded out, now serving as a bandana. He looked around wildly, then finally spotted Konohamaru.

"Little master!" the man exclaimed and hurried over. "Please do not run away again, little master! If you want to become as strong as your big brother and grandfather, then you have to do as I say. I, the great teacher Ebisu-sama, taught your honourable brother everything he know, and now I will teach you! But I can only teach you if you don't run away."

"But I wanted to challenge grandpa for the position of Hokage!"

"As you can see Hokage-sama isn't here at the moment! The fastest way to become Hokage, is to listen to me!"

'_This place is insane,' _Itachi concluded as he watched the scene. _'At least now I know exactly why Uzumaki Naruto turned out the way he did. It's all to blame on this Ebisu, and his silly reverence of the boy – or of the Hokage's orders.'_ He slowly edged towards the door and out into the corridor. A quick check with the Hokage confirmed that Hatake Kakashi hadn't shown up yet, and Itachi decided to walk around Konoha for the next half an hour – though he did take off his new hitai-ate, and put it in one of the zipped pockets of his pants. _'Who knows, maybe I'll even run into Hatake Kakashi on the way.'_

**VI**

'_Well, well, who do we have here?'_ Itachi smirked as he spotted the bright pink head of hair in front of him. _'Haruno Sakura, and all alone as well. Oh, how convenient she makes it for me by entering that alley. You better watch out, my dear, because a protective big brother is on the prowl.'_

The alley wasn't dark or dirty or anything, it was simply a passage between two houses, the afternoon sun shining down, a few tufts of grass growing by the white walls. One could easily see the exit up head, and really, there was nothing scary about the place at all. Haruno Sakura walked on happily, not aware of the stalking figure behind her until somewhere half-way through the alley. Then she stopped, seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts, and looked around. When she spotted Itachi she blinked in surprise, before a blush covered her face, and she looked down shyly. "M-may I h-help you, sir?"

Itachi's eyebrow rose. _'You've got to be kidding me! She doesn't remember me from this morning! And she's supposed to be a shinobi?!'_ he sighed and walked closer to her. "Yes, I do believe you may."

Sakura smiled kindly. "As a student at the Shinobi Academy, it's my duty to help. So, what can I do for you?"

The teen walked up to her, smiling charmingly, and leaned down to her level watching as Sakura blushed. "I would appreciate it if you…"

"If… if I what…?"

"If you stopped bothering my little brother. If you don't stop bothering him, I'm afraid that I will take action against you." At this point there was no trace of Itachi's kind nature, and he glared at the surprised girl. Just like in the Hokage's office, he suddenly seemed more sinister, darker, dangerous. The entire atmosphere had done a 180 degree turn. "Do we have a deal, Haruno Sakura?"

Sakura nodded hurriedly, but on automatic and Itachi doubted that anything he had said had entered her head. She seemed to focus more on the way he scared her, and not his words. However, it was still a response, and suddenly everything was back to sunshine and daisies.

"Excellent! Then I bid you a good day!" with that Itachi walked away, whistling a silly little tune, and generally not looking scary in the least.

Haruno Sakura simply stood there for another five minutes, before she continued on her way home, shaken but not stirred. _'What the hell just happened? I froze over because some civilian was threatening me! Grr!!! That bastard!!!! How dare he! Little brother, huh? Ah, yes, he's the person who visited the Uchiha failure earlier today…'_ then she stopped up, her eyes widening. Everyone had heard about the missing Uchiha-child, the same child that had been brought back no more than a day ago or something.

"That loser's _Uchiha_ Itachi?!?!?!" she exclaimed in shock.

Itachi on the other hand, had reached the Hokage Tower and was once again standing in the Hokage's office. "He's still not here?" he asked needlessly, a small tick developing on his forehead.

"I'm afraid not," the Hokage replied with a sigh. "I apologise."

"Not at all, Hokage-san, it's not your fault but Hatake-san's." The teen snorted. "He really knows how to make people feel appreciated, doesn't he?"

"The stress of the life they lead makes many a shinobi slightly weird, that's the way they deal with it. The higher up on the shinobi food chain, the weirder people become, it's a fact." Sarutobi said in an attempt to explain Hatake Kakashi's lateness.

Itachi nodded in understanding. "I get that, but this is getting way too much. Tell you what, I'm not going to wait around for him to appear, so when he does tell him to come find me."

The older man shook his head, but agreed to do it. "When Hatake-san comes, he'll transport both of you here for further briefing on the mission. I really am sorry about this, Itachi-kun."

"Just allow me to introduce Hatake Kakashi-san to my trusty stun-gun, and we'll be even." The teen said as he opened the doors to leave.

The Hokage chuckled. "If you can manage to get close enough, then go right ahead."

"Thank you."

Itachi had hardly been gone for more than a few minutes, when a puff of smoke announced the arrival of none other than Hatake Kakashi himself.

"Yo, Hokage-sama." the silver-haired, masked man greeted lazily. "What can I do for you?"

"Finally here, are you?" the Hokage muttered with a sigh, then proceeded to explain the situation to the shinobi. "You are going to be working with Kishimoto Itachi-kun on this one," he concluded.

Kakashi's one visible eyebrow rose. "He's hardly been here for a day, and he's already a tokubetsu shinobi?"

"Itachi-kun is not normal, you will experience this for yourself soon enough. He was waiting for you for over an hour before he gave up, so now you have to find him and convince him to come here for the mission briefing."

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Kakashi nodded, then was gone in another puff of smoke.

Sarutobi looked first at the mountains of paperwork on his desk, before his gaze wandered over to his crystal ball that stood on a pillowed pedestal off in a corner. Should he do the right thing and do the paperwork, or should he allow himself a bit of fun by spying on Itachi's and Kakashi's first meeting – which would definitely be memorable, if he had read the look in Itachi's eyes correctly. Work or pleasure? He looked between the paperwork-towers and the innocent crystal ball again, and nearly whimpered. His secretary would kill him when he realised that the Hokage hadn't reached his paperwork-quota of the day.

Sarutobi finally reached his decision, and nearly skipped over to the crystal ball. _'Then again, it isn't every day that I get the chance to watch something so interesting as Itachi-kun's interaction with my shinobi. Paperwork can wait.'_ He thought, conveniently ignoring the meeting between the Uchiha-family that he had witnessed yesterday in his own office. _'This promises to be very fun- er, educational to say the least! I wonder if Itachi-kun really will be able to electrocute Kakashi-kun.'_

…

'_To quote Itachi-kun: I wish I had some pocky.'_

**VI**

Itachi had almost reached the Uchiha Sector of Konoha, when he noticed the telltale signs of someone teleporting in just to his right. He had noticed the signs during his trek to Konoha with the ANBU and Fugaku, and he had picked up on it even further by experiencing it himself earlier that day. It felt as though there was a sudden air pocket, and the air around the air pocket was first sucked into it, but then exploded outwards and this created the smoke as far as Itachi could figure out. Either way, the teenager took a split second decision, drew his stun-gun and stuck it into the air pocket – notably at crotch level. The way he figured it, the person that was teleporting in would manage to keep themselves from landing on the stun-gun, but wouldn't be out of the thing's reach. And also, there was only one person who would want to meet up with Itachi, so it was very small chance that it would be anyone else than Hatake Kakashi.

And he was right in all his assumptions. As soon as the puff of smoke appeared, Itachi ignored it and pulled the trigger on the stun-gun. There was a squeak from inside all the grey, and when the smoke cleared Itachi's eyes landed on a tall, silver-haired, masked shinobi. Said man was now lying on the ground, desperately clutching at his family jewels, his one visible eye watering up in pain.

"Hatake Kakashi, I presume?" Itachi said, one of his eyebrows rising slightly. It was clear that he wasn't impressed at all. "Excellent, for a moment I thought you were someone else, and it wouldn't do to electrocute the wrong person. Consider this as punishment for making me wait unnecessarily for over an hour, making me miss dinner. And I feel that I should warn you, I'm very grouchy when I'm hungry."

Kakashi could only squeak again. The pain was barely starting to diminish, and he just knew that none of the other shinobi would let him live this down. Ever. Especially Maito Gai. _'The question is: how the hell did he manage to catch me off guard?!'_

"Now, I'm hungry and I'm going back to the house to eat. I'll see you later." Itachi continued, completely ignoring the other man's pain. He stepped over the prone form, but was stopped when a gloved hand caught his wrist. "What now?"

"H-Hokage-sama is waiting f-for us," Kakashi managed to bite out through the pain.

The teen's eyebrow rose once again. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle back," he said, put the stun-gun to the masked man's hand with surprising speed, and pulled the trigger again.

In his office, the Hokage was laughing in delight. It was both fun and slightly worrisome to see how his best shinobi underestimated Itachi just because the teen hadn't been raised as one of them. If they made such a fatal mistake on a mission, then they might get killed. _'Hopefully this will be a lesson to both Shisui-kun and Kakashi-kun.'_

Itachi enjoyed a nice meal that Mikoto-san was kind enough to make for him, and completely ignored Kakashi's numerous attempts to get him to the Hokage's office – from kidnapping to threatening to bribing, nothing worked. Besides, the other Uchihas demonstrated their dislike for the silver-haired jounnin, and foiled a great deal of said plans. And those that they didn't get, Itachi himself foiled in one way or another, once even going as far as to smear Kakashi's face with sticky, jam-filled pie. How things got so much out of hand, no one could figure out, and no one paid it much mind.

Either way, Kakashi finally had to give up and went back to the Hokage for advice. On the way through the Hokage Tower people stared and snickered, some not even bothering to hide their amusement. Kakashi's eyebrow twitched with regular intervals, but he had to admit (silently of course) that he was impressed by Kishimoto Itachi's skills.

"How may I help you, Kakashi-kun?" the Hokage inquired, desperately trying to hide the twitch of his lips.

"My supposed… _partner_… seems rather reluctant to cooperate," Kakashi growled, sounding rather like his nin-dogs.

"Hmm, it's quite obvious that Itachi-kun didn't like your lateness." Sarutobi commented needlessly. "He electrocuted Shisui-san yesterday."

The masked shinobi blinked in surprise at these news, and was torn between chuckling and feeling very sympathetic for the Uchiha genius. Having just gone through the same thing, he knew exactly what it was like having ones family jewels electrocuted.

Just how skilled was Itachi?

In the end, Kakashi simply sighed and decided to let it all go. "Why haven't you called for him yourself, Hokage-sama? No offence meant, but you have hundreds of shinobi working for you, and I'm sure there's at least one that doesn't have anything to do, and that can spare a few minutes. If you had, then we could have bygone the last half an hour of pain an humiliation."

"I didn't have the time. Paperwork, you see. It muddled my brain to a great extent, and all."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched again. "… right. So, do you have any advice for me on how to get Kishimoto Itachi-kun here, Hokage-sama?"

"Bribe him."

"Already tried it. For the record, it didn't work."

"You didn't let me finish. Bribe him with pocky."

"… po-… -cky…?"'

"Yes, pocky."

"_Pocky_?"

The Hokage nodded. "Chocolate flavoured, to be precise. Now, if you will excuse me, I have lots of paperwork to get done before this day is over. And anyways, I shall see you soon enough again." It was a clear dismissal.

It was at this point that one Hatake Kakashi decided that this was the weirdest day in his entire shinobi career.

**VI**

There, please tell me what you think.

Despite the obvious changes I'm trying to keep things as close to the cannon as possible…. That's an oxymoron, isn't it? Either way, Naruto will not stay the way he is, I couldn't manage that for the life of me. He will change, but not quite yet – however, it's not too far into the future either. More information on this in later chapters, so be patient!

As to the way Kakashi acts around the Sandaime Hokage. The way I see it – and the way it has been hinted in the manga/anime – then Sarutobi had a personal relationship with most if not all of the shinobi of Konoha. It could be either a strictly professional relationship in a work-related environment, or it could be a personal, grandfatherly sort of relationship that wasn't related to work at all – but in most cases it seems to have been both. Therefore, when there are other people around, the relationship would be professional, but when there's only the Hokage and the one shinobi then it can go to the personal part… did that make any sense?

I'm sensing a pattern involving the stun-gun and the family jewels of certain shinobi. -.-'

Thanks to:

Meemei, Kuroy, Honebar, RobotPirateNinja, Insane Imortal Dragon Goddess, disama, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Chibi of Many Names, UchihaHinata2210, FullMetalRuromaru, Akua, dragonmage27, Beta the Second, Snake of Medusa, THE Hyuuga Neji, QueenOfHalf-BakedIdeas, xMazy, choclatbandit, Lunas twin, jusseetttt, and I don't have a permanent name.


	7. Chapter 7

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's note: **Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!! I know, I know, it's a bit late, but who cares! Enjoy the following insanity!

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Seven**

After Kakashi seemed to have finally given up, Itachi had had in mind to head towards the Hokage Tower and spare them all more insanity. As said: he _had_ had – which was usually a past tense.

Uchiha Fugaku had – unfortunately – came home from work in time to catch the end of the civil war that had developed between the Uchihas and Hatake Kakashi, and even if he hadn't done anything to stop it, he had gotten curious. Therefore he sought out the one person everything seemed to revolve around, and started his interrogation with a subtle and eloquent: "What the hell was that about?"

Itachi put his cutlery in the sink, and replied. "What was what about?"

"Why were _Uchihas_ throwing everything they could get their hands on – from shuriken to rocks to _teddy bears_ – at Hatake, and were shouting various versions of 'You shall not kidnap Itachi as long as we are here!' at the same time?"

The teenager blinked, and his eyes got watery and sparkled. He sniffed, his hands clasped above his heart, and proclaimed in a rather teary voice that he had never felt so loved.

Fugaku's eyebrow twitched.

"Seriously though, I think it had something to do with me." Itachi said as he put his shoes on.

"I gathered as much," the older man replied in a strained voice, and watched the back of the teen's head. "But _why_ did he want to speak with you?"

"Probably to tell me that the Hokage wanted to meet me."

"Really?" Fugaku raised an eyebrow. Itachi had hardly been here for more than a day, and already the leader of the village was requiring his presence. Itachi was a genius, apparently, no matter how far he went to hide this. He had already managed to weasel his way into the Hokage's acquaintance-circle, and was becoming an important connection to the village for the Uchiha Clan. The Hokage most likely wanted _his_ _son's_ expertise help in analysing and profiling some S-rank missing-nin. What an honour! "Do you have any idea why Sandaime-sama sent for you?" he asked for politeness sake, and dared to hope.

Itachi nodded and looked very happy about it. "Yep!"

"And that is…?"

"Pocky!"

"Ah, that's exc-" Fugaku stopped mid-sentence, and back-pedalled quickly. "What?!"

"Pocky!"

"… pocky…?"

"Yeah! Sarutobi-san and I agreed yesterday during our talk that we would have at least one pocky-munching session together during the week – that is, if his work allowed it." Itachi nodded and sent a sunny smile towards the blinking man. "Well, I'll see you later!" he said as he escaped the house, leaving behind a still-shocked Fugaku who's eyebrow was slowly starting to twitch again.

The teenager quickly exited the Uchiha Sector, managing to accomplish this with minimal stops to converse with eager Uchihas. Once out of the sector and a few blocks away, he took a deep breath of air and sighed whilst shaking his head. Gods, but the entire Uchiha Clan was so formal, so traditional, so _boring_! Most of them were so stuck in the past, that they didn't see the future at all – unless it was a future where their clan reigned supreme, and that wasn't about to happen anytime soon if the rest of the village had anything to say.

'_That clan will die if they continue like that. Bloody idiots,'_ Itachi mused as he continued walking. It didn't take long before he noticed the telltale sign of someone stalking him in the trees, and allowed his hand to drop to where his stun-gun was located. _'Probably Kakashi.'_

And it was indeed the silver-haired, masked shinobi. The man had barely managed to land beside the teenager, and opened his mouth to speak, when said teenager pulled out the stun-gun and pointed it at him. Now, due to previous encounters with the seemingly-innocent contraption, Kakashi knew to be careful and to avoid it. And so he did. With a squeak of fright.

"You again!" Itachi exclaimed, and pursued to shinobi.

"Ita-" Kakashi tried.

"Don't you ever give up?!"

"Pleas- _WAAAH_!!!!"

"Right, that's it!" Itachi quickly upped the power of the stun-gun to full. "This time you're staying down, mister!"

Kakashi's eye had grown wide and he whimpered. "… oh… god…"

Their crazy little dance went on for another couple of minutes, until the silver-haired shinobi realised that he had been cleverly manoeuvred into a corner, and that he had no chance of escaping unless it involved large jutsu and enormous property damage – and _that_ was definitely a no go. Instead he did the only thing he could think of and gripped his ultimate weapon, cursing himself for not remembering it before.

'_It's excusable. Any sane male would forget it in favour of saving their family jewels from getting electrocuted.'_ His mind reasoned.

Itachi ran towards him, the stun-gun ready at crotch level. To tell the truth, it was a very dramatic scene. It was the kind of scene that brought tears to teenage girls' eyes. You know, the last-stand-of-the-hero type of thing. Worthy of Hollywood _and_ an Oscar nomination! Either way, Itachi was almost there when Kakashi suddenly held up something in the path of the stun-gun, and called out: "STOP!!! I've got POCKY!!!!"

The younger male had a split second to adopt a shocked look and react to such a statement. Luckily he managed to keep from electrocuting his beloved snack, and instead his momentum carried him past Kakashi and into an unavoidable collision with the tall fence that ran the length of the street. "_WAAAH_!!!"

'_I… I did it! I survived!'_ Kakashi couldn't help but thing giddily once he had dared to open his eyes and survey the scene. He stared at the little box in his hands with new eyes and new appreciation. Pocky, he decided, was gods gift to all of humanity's male kind and their family jewels.

The people that had gathered to watch the scene, shook their heads and started dispersing. Before the day was over rumours would have spread that the Copycat-nin Hatake Kakashi had lost his marbles completely, and that the newly-arrived son of Uchiha Fugaku was a genius that had developed his own electricity-based jutsu after only one day in the village. Uchiha Fugaku would be torn between being proud and embarrassed, and Maito Gai would run 500 times around Konoha on his hands while cursing himself for letting his eternal rival go insane before he, himself, did.

**VII**

The Hokage desperately tried to keep his face neutral when Kakashi and Itachi entered his office, but his lips still twitched. Kakashi cleared his throat pointedly and looked away and slight embarrassment, while Itachi was too busy devouring the pocky to notice anything.

"Please sit down." Sarutobi said and motioned towards the two chairs in front of his desk. "Now, here is the plan for tonight. Kakashi will turn himself into a replica of the Forbidden Scroll, and that is what you will bring to the meeting with Mizuki, Itachi-kun. Try to figure out what made Mizuki defect from the village of his birth, then capture him and bring him back here. A hunter-nin and an ANBU will take it from there."

The two younger men simply nodded, their faces serious and alert.

The Hokage held out a scroll, the colour-code identifying it as a B-class. "Here is the mission. Do you two accept?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Kakashi replied, and Itachi nodded. "We accept."

"Good. The rest of the time is yours to iron out the details of your plans for tonight, and Itachi-kun, I have here a file on Mizuki. I think you will find it useful. Dismissed."

The two nodded shortly and exited the office, Itachi holding the file on Mizuki which was concealed as an orange book with the weird title '_Icha Icha Paradise_'.

As soon as they exited the Hokage Tower, Itachi and Kakashi started acting like usual. It had been a silent, mutual agreement, and they easily steered their conversation towards food. This gave Kakashi an excellent opportunity to recommend this little ramen-stand called Ichiraku's – the owner _conveniently_ being an old ninja himself – and Itachi insisted on eating lunch there – Kakashi's treat of course.

"To make up for all the trouble you caused me." The black-haired male said and ducked into the stand.

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. "Who caused trouble for whom?" he muttered, but followed in side, and the two gave their order. The rest of the time passed in companionable conversation, and they seemingly parted, heading their separate ways homewards. However, Itachi suddenly changed directions before passing the last block before the Uchiha Sector, and headed towards the training fields, this time sticking a bit more to the shadows. It didn't take long before Kakashi found him as well, and together they walked to the spot where Itachi was to meet with Mizuki, then sat down and waited for a while.

"Why do you refuse to meet my eyes, Kakashi-san?" Itachi asked out of the blue as they waited.

"I do?" the other man mused half-heartedly, his back to the teen and his eyes scanning the forest around them.

"You do." Itachi confirmed. "Especially since the meeting with the Hokage. Do I, perhaps, remind you of someone, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi stopped focusing on the forest, and looked at the missing Uchiha child over his shoulder. At that moment, in the rapidly-failing light of the forest, Itachi looked so dark and expressionless and calculating, that it sent a shiver down Kakashi's spine. Then the moment was over, and the older man found himself able to breathe again – not that he remembered ever stopping. "… really?"

The teenager suddenly smiled and nodded energetically, and didn't look scary at all. "Yeah! It's just that you reminded me of a friend back in the USA – Leigh, his name is. Wonderful guy, I think you would've liked him. He's something of a closet pervert, and a sci-fi freak, but I think the two of you would've gotten along wonderfully!"

"Well, perhaps we shall be lucky enough to meet sometimes in the future," Kakashi managed a small smile, then turned back to observe the forest. For a second there he had thought that Itachi had been referring to… but that was impossible. The teenager couldn't know about… about _that_. And the Uchiha's refused to talk about _that_ incident, so he was safe.

Half an hour before Mizuki was expected to arrive, Kakashi transformed into the Forbidden Scroll, and Itachi opened him… it… whatever, to at least pretend to read – never mind the fact that he couldn't understand much. He'd been unable to read anything of the file on Mizuki that the Hokage had given him, so he had had to ask Kakashi to read it for him. Kakashi had taken great joy in hiding the information as sexual innuendos and fantastically imaginative porn. Patrons all around them had blushed and burned and gotten nosebleeds, but Itachi had managed to keep from reacting overly much and had vowed revenge on the silver-haired male. He understood enough hiragana and katakana to realise that what was written on Kakashi-the-scroll was not any secret techniques, but lots and lots of rather heavy porn. Itachi's eyebrow twitched, but he didn't do anything except make sure that he placed Kakashi-the-scroll on its/his head as a form of revenge.

The scroll shuddered in protest, but was ignored completely.

'_Serves you right,'_ Itachi snorted. _'My virgin eyes and innocent person that could do no wrong, shall not see, hear or read porn.'_

In this manner the two of them waited and waited until Mizuki finally showed up. Itachi assumed that the traitor had taken a long time to cover his tracks on his trek through the village, and also had spent some time observing the teenager to make sure that Itachi was alone. The man hadn't seemed to realise that the Forbidden Scroll wasn't the real deal, and simply jumped down from the trees with a kind smile on his face – though there was a glitter of triumph in his eyes that he couldn't hide. Itachi made himself act shocked and surprised at the sudden appearance even though he had noted Mizuki's presence in the trees a long time ago, and looked up at the Academy teacher with an eager expression.

"Will you teach me now, sensei?" the teenager asked. "I've been trying to read it for ages, but I can hardly read hiragana and katakana, and the language used here is far too formal for me to understand."

"Ah yes, here, give it to me and we shall see…" Mizuki crouched down – mindful of the two giant shuriken on his back – and carefully picked up the scroll. In the next second he had pinned Itachi to the tree, a giant shuriken sticking out of the wood, two of the four prongs now framing Itachi's neck and cutting lightly into the skin. Itachi sat still as a statue, hardly daring to breathe. Mizuki smirked. "Sorry about that, Uchiha-kun. It's nothing personal you see, but I know a lot of people who would pay good money for this thing, and I just couldn't let the chance slip by."

Itachi's face remained expressionless.

"I must say though, you are handling the situation admirably. I would've expected you to panic and beg for your life long before now." The man continued and started to roll up Kakashi-the-scroll.

"Really now?" Itachi said in a disinterested tone, attempting to keep Mizuki from realising what was really written on the scroll.

Mizuki smirked nastily and nodded. "I suppose it's the fault of those Uchiha-genes of yours, nothing else."

"Would you mind answering the question of a person who is, apparently, going to die this night?"

"Depends on what it is."

'_Dammit, now I can't ask him to let me lose. There went my whole plan.'_ Itachi thought sarcastically. "Why betray your village like this? For I suppose that this can be counted as betrayal, right?"

"I do it for the money," Mizuki replied. "And because the Hokage refuses to kill that damned fox, but instead raises it as his own. This village is weak!" he sneered and stood up and took a hold of the giant shuriken pinning Itachi to the tree, pressing it into the teenager's skin enough to draw some blood. "As said, you can't live. The Uchiha Clan will be devastated that their little prodigal child that they recently recovered, was killed by a group of randomly-passing nuke-nin. Woe on them."

"I highly doubt it," Itachi said. "Kakashi, now would be a great time for you to act."

"Wha-!? The Copy-nin?!?!!" Mizuki gaped and looked around the trees in an attempt to spot said man. Therefore he was very surprised when the scroll he was clutching turned into Kakashi, and stumbled backwards while dropping his grip on the giant shuriken. "Where…!? Why couldn't I sense him?!?! Impossible!!!"

Kakashi teetered for a moment – all that blood rushing to and from his head was not healthy, dammit! – before he managed to put himself together, and fix Mizuki with a one eyed glare that was surprisingly scary. "Mizuki, ID-number 0134868. You are hereby arrested for betraying the village on two accounts: 1) attempting to steal the Forbidden Scroll, and 2) speaking about that which the Hokage has forbidden in front of a civilian. Anything you say or do will be held against you."

Mizuki was, apparently, smart enough to know when he was outclassed, and thusly he did the right thing and decided to advance in the opposite direction – i.e. he ran like hell. Kakashi only took enough time to throw a kunai for Itachi to use, before he was off after the other man, and Itachi was left sitting pinned to the tree by the giant shuriken.

"No worries, Kakashi-san," the teen grumbled sarcastically as he tried to get a hold of the kunai the masked shinobi had thrown. Coincidentally – or not – it had landed just out of reach. "I am a well-trained shinobi of the highest class, I know how to get out of these kinds of situations. I don't need any help at all! Heck, I probably killed my entire family when I was thirteen because I couldn't take the pressure they put on me, or something! GOD DAMNED KUNAI!!!! GET OVER HERE!!!!"

Itachi's eyebrow twitched, but he took a deep breath to calm himself. He couldn't reach the kunai, and he couldn't risk moving his upper body too much. The sharp edge of the giant shuriken was already biting into the skin of his throat, a small trickle of blood testifying to this. Therefore he did the next best thing, and used his feet. Supporting his balance and weight on his arms and the tree he was pinned against, Itachi carefully moved his legs around until the kunai was firmly between the soles of his shoes. Once he was sure that he had a firm grip on the weapon, he carefully pulled it out of the ground, and brought it as close to himself as he could. Then he dropped it, picked it up with his hand and started to dig into the wood of the trunk around the two points of the giant shuriken. He couldn't have pushed the enormous thing lose because it was too firmly lodged into the wood, so this is the way it had to be.

"Couldn't have done something useful and loosened the damn thing?" he growled as he worked, pissed off at Kakashi. When he finally felt that he had hacked away enough wood, he once again used his legs, wedging his feet in the large circle in the middle of the shuriken and pushed with all of his might whilst his hands made sure that the giant weapon didn't harm him once it fell. He could hear the sounds of battle coming closer and closer as he worked, and assumed that Kakashi was chasing Mizuki towards him, thusly keeping the traitor out of Konoha proper.

Finally the enormous shuriken slid free, and Itachi gingerly touched his throat to assess the damage. _'Hmm, not too bad, though it will leave a scar… unless these shinobi can do something about it with chakra. I doubt that the energy can only be used when fighting. As for Mizuki…'_ the teen looked down at the shuriken, and got an idea, a smirk crossing his face as he drew his stun-gun.

Kakashi had been chasing the traitor around for ten minutes, and was slightly surprised at the other's skills. However, he easily avoided everything that Mizuki had to throw at him, and patiently chased the man back towards the clearing where Itachi was hopefully waiting, ready to knock Mizuki out in some way or another – preferably by using his stun-gun, Kakashi thought evilly.

"You will not catch me!" Mizuki insisted for the third time during the chase. "I must see this through!"

The masked shinobi simply ignored the babble, and let fly several shuriken to make his prey take the desired direction. Mizuki jumped into the clearing first, and snorted with contempt upon not seeing Itachi there. He didn't waste more time thinking about it, and instead picked up the giant shuriken that laid on the ground, and turned to meet Kakashi head on. Now that he had one of his trusty weapons in hand – he had lost the second shuriken during the chase – he felt more confident, enough so to meet the famed Copy-nin head on. He got into position, the arm holding the giant weapon pulled back, ready to let it fly.

Kakashi landed into the clearing a second later, and stared calmly at the other man. "Give it up, Mizuki. You know you won't win. There is a nice cell waiting for you at Konoha Strict Correctional Facility, and there's a whole lot of _Icha Icha Paradise_ waiting for me. So why don't you simply stop wasting both our time, and give up?"

Mizuki growled, incensed that the other shinobi didn't seem worried for some strange reason. "Keep dreaming!" he roared, and let the shuriken fly.

It was at this point that something happened. The giant weapon didn't obey orders at all, and embedded itself into the ground just a foot away from the Academy teacher. One might have thought that something was off with its balance, and left it at that if it hadn't been for the fact that it suddenly went _poof_, and a lot of smoke filled the air. One might realise that this was, in fact, not a normal weapon when a hand extended from the smoke, quick as lightning, clutching a weird contraption that wasn't usually to be found in the Shinobi Countries.

However, the traitor in question had already proven that he wasn't the smartest of people, and simply blinked in shock in the three seconds it took for this to happen. His thought-process had barely started working again, when the hand reached him and pushed the weird, black thing into his thigh. Afterwards he couldn't think of anything, except the tremendous pain that ran through his body. It seemed to go on for an eternity, his skin was melting, his blood boiling in his veins. But finally he was overtaken by blissful darkness, and Mizuki's body fell limply to the ground.

The smoke was long gone by this time, revealing Itachi and his trusty stun-gun. "I feel better now." The teen said, his sunny smile once again residing on his face. "Er, what are you doing up there, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi, who had hastily retreated into the highest tree upon spotting the stun-gun – making sure, of course, that the tree was still between himself and said weapon – now stuck his head out, and gazed upon Itachi way down below. "… thought I saw a kitty stuck in the tree…"

Itachi blinked. "Oh. Okay." He hunched down beside Mizuki's body, and poked it a few times, then looked back up at Kakashi. "I think he's out cold."

The masked man sent him a look that clearly said 'no shit, Sherlock!', but didn't comment otherwise. "Would you mind putting away your stun-gun? You're a bit too trigger-happy for my comfort." He asked instead, an uneasy smile hidden under his mask.

The young man did so, and watched with interest as Kakashi finally descended the tree by walking down the trunk, not using his hands at all. It was interesting to watch, and his mind was already speculating on how it might be done. Kakashi picked up the unconscious traitor, and the two of them headed back to Konoha proper. Half-way to the Hokage Tower they parted ways, Kakashi taking it upon himself to deliver the prisoner and write the mission report (which simply required Itachi's signature since he was only a tokubetsu shinobi), and thusly keeping Itachi's involvement in the whole affair a secret. Itachi had easily agreed to this, not wanting Fugaku or any of the other Uchiha's to get a wind of it. Besides, he was tired and needed his beauty sleep.

"I'll drop by when the report is ready so that you can sign it," was Kakashi's parting remark.

Itachi nodded in agreement. "Aa. Good night."

"Good night."

It was only once he had delivered Mizuki into the _gentle_ hands of the ANBU and the hunter-nin, that Kakashi realised that Itachi had used **Henge no Jutsu**. The Copy-nin simply stood there in shock for a good five minutes, his eye gazing down the street that the teen had taken not too long ago even though said teen was long gone.

'_He spent less than a day observing at the Academy, and watched my transformation earlier, and yet he managed to copy it?! Exactly how smart is he?!'_ the masked shinobi couldn't stop wondering about this at all that night – which, in turn, led to him not sleeping well and waking up later than he usually did, and made him even later than normal to any and all meetings he had that day.

**VII**

The next morning Itachi woke up rather late, which was expected after the long day yesterday. He dressed in a high necked, zip-up, black vest to hide the wound, and a pair of black jeans to complete the ensemble. Since it was Sunday, the entire family was gathered in the kitchen. Mikoto started making his breakfast as soon as he entered, Fugaku was reading the paper, Shisui was pouring over a scroll of some sort, and Sasuke was sitting a little ways off working on his homework.

Itachi stretched and settled at the table, then greeted them all with an eloquent, "Yo!"

Shisui's eyebrow twitched, but otherwise he didn't react.

Sasuke looked up, a small smile on his face. "G-good morning, Itachi-kun."

"Did you sleep well?" Mikoto asked as she placed his simple breakfast in front of him, and smiled when she got a positive affirmation to her question.

Fugaku looked up from his paper, and stared at Itachi for a minute, before he finally spoke up. "Why didn't you tell me that Hokage-sama made you a tokubetsu shinobi yesterday?" he asked.

Mikoto, Shisui and Sasuke blinked in surprise at this, and sent a look towards Itachi. Then they reasoned that the Hokage had done it to make the teen feel more at home in the village, or that he had done it to make sure that Itachi didn't betray Konoha, etc, and didn't pay it much mind.

"It wasn't relevant." Itachi replied, but inwardly he cursed.

The Head of the Uchiha Clan frowned. "Still, I would have liked to hear it from you rather than one of those damned Hyuugas."

"Well then, next time I'm made tokubetsu shinobi I'll tell you first, alright?"

The older man narrowed his eyes. "Hnn. And why didn't you tell me that you were given a mission?"

At this the others dropped everything they had in their hands, and gaped. Shisui seemed surprised, a slight hint of jealousy creeping into his eyes. Mikoto seemed torn between joy and worry, and Sasuke seemed completely awed.

"It was a rather secretive mission. You know, very hush-hush." Itachi said, thinking fast. "Besides, it won't be repeated because I'm quitting my newly-attained position this afternoon. As soon as I'm done with breakfast, in fact. I can't have something like that binding me here, I have a job waiting for me back in the good old USA." This wasn't necessarily true, but they didn't need to know that.

"Like hell you will." Fugaku growled. "You will keep your position at the very least until these two months are over. Now, tell me what happened during your very first mission." Those weren't requests, but orders.

Itachi's eyes met Fugaku's head on, the teen wondering if he should point out that, technically, he only had little over six weeks left before he had to go back since it had taken them little more than a week to travel from the cave to Konoha; but he refrained, and instead decided to indulge Fugaku – mostly because Mikoto had added her wishes to hear what had happened.

But he would tell them in his own way, and with lots of gesturing and silliness.

"Well, here's what happened. First it was like talk then it was like lots of planning, and then lots of waiting. Then there was like _wham_ and sharp thingies and YAAAAAHHH's, and then there was ouchies and, like, _eeews_! I was, like, _bleh_ and AH! and WAAAH! and _grrrrrr_! And then there was lots of cursing, and jumping-jacks and crashing and smashing and struggling. But then there was a poof and smoke and _bzzzzts_ and electricity, and then a wham and a plop and a kink in the neck. Afterwards there was walking and parting, and finally a lot of big and small zzzzzzz's. Now, if you would excuse me I have to talk to the Hokage."

With that Itachi left the table and the house, leaving four people in different moods behind.

Mikoto was washing up while trying to figure out exactly what Itachi had said.

Sasuke was desperately trying to smother his chuckles.

Shisui clutched the scroll he had been reading so hard that he came close to ripping the delicate document, and didn't notice what he was doing.

And Fugaku's eyebrow was twitching wildly, and the man himself was wondering what in heavens name had possessed him to contact his missing child, and bring said child here.

Itachi, on the other hand, was enjoying the start of his day, and was wondering if, by any chance, he might run into Kakashi and terrorise the silver-haired man into buying him pocky.

**VII**

There, it's done. Please tell me what you think.

Not much to say this time, except for that I'm not quite sure I like the way this chapter turned out. seems to finally be catching up to all the backlogged mails and messages from the past couple of weeks. I have to admit that it's damn annoying when something like that happens.

On another note, the pictures from my **cosplay** are finally up at my **deviantArt**-account, in the **SCRAPS** section.

Thanks to:

Insane Imortal Dragon Goddess, dragonmage27, RobotPirateNinja, DarkAmazOn, UchihaHinata2210, THE Hyuuga Neji, Meemei, Kingdark, LynnGryphon, Laughing Cat, Yami no Hikari-Chan, Chibi of Many Names, Honebar, QueenOfHalf-BakesIdeas, Kazama Hasaki, disama, CrazyGirlofManyNames, and Lokichaosgod.


	8. Chapter 8

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the long wait. Please enjoy the following insanity.

Thanks to my good beta and friend, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Eight**

The first thing Itachi did after leaving the Uchiha Sector was to pay a visit to the hospital so that he could have his wounded neck checked. He didn't think that the little cut would make his head fall off, but he'd rather err on the side of caution than suddenly one morning find out that the cut had gotten infected or something like that. Besides, it would hopefully throw any stalking Uchihas off his trail, and would thusly insure that he got to the Hokage Tower and could talk to the Hokage without any of them hanging about.

The nurses spent at least half an hour moaning and cooing over 'Uchiha Itachi-sama', then were shooed out of the room by one of the doctors who seemed completely terrified to be treating an Uchiha, and stuttered and shook his way through the examination. Itachi simply sat there, trying not to scare the poor fool even more, occasionally nodding or smiling at the correct places. He had long since given up on following the doctor's terrified, incomprehensible babble.

Finally the doctor sent him off with a healed neck – only a thin, pale stripe testified to him being hurt in the first place, but it would disappear quickly – and stuttered babbles about how honoured the doctor felt at having been allowed to treat 'Uchiha Itachi-sama'.

'_This is insane,'_ Itachi thought to himself as he exited the pocky-shop. He needed something to calm his nerves after such a morning. _'The Uchihas have half the village worshiping the ground they walk on in fear, and the other half does it as well because they don't want to be victims of an angry lynch mob consisting of the first half!'_

The secretary that sat in the ante-chamber outside the Hokage's office was a different one from yesterday, and this man didn't seem to be very happy about anything at all; especially not when Itachi asked if the Sandaime had a minute or two to spare for a quick chat. The man promptly informed him that the Hokage was in a meeting, and that he would have to wait for that to finish – which would take a long, _long_ time, probably the whole day, so he would be better off coming back tomorrow.

Itachi blinked, shrugged and settled down in one of the surprisingly comfy chairs in the ante-chamber to wait. "I'm on vacation, so it's not like I have any pressing matters to attend to," he said to the secretary when the man sent him an annoyed look. The teen then proceeded to happily munch on his pocky, while wondering and philosophising over several deep subjects, amongst them being: why did the chicken cross the road; who came first? the chicken or the egg, and what would happen if he so happened to gift a shinobi with enough C4 explosives to blow up Konoha.

"Would. You. _Mind_?!" the secretary suddenly bit out through clenched teeth, his eyebrow twitching slightly.

"Mind what?" Itachi asked innocently. "If you need to go to the bathroom, I'll be happy to take care of things here."

The twitch went up another notch. "That is not what I meant, _Uchiha-san_. I was asking you to be quiet."

"But I was being quiet until you said something to me." The teen protested. "Rules of courtesy say that I have to reply, otherwise I would have been very rude."

"You were continuously making a _very rude_ noise just a minute ago!"

"Huh?"

"You were eating with your mouth open, and _rules of courtesy_ say that one shouldn't do that." The secretary emphasised on the words that Itachi had used not a minute ago. "Please desist."

"I wasn't. I have to open my mouth to feed myself more pocky, and you simply misinterpreted that signal subconsciously." Itachi pointed out. "And everyone makes the occasional noise when they're eating, it's unavoidable."

The man was starting to turn red. "I need to get back to my work." He growled.

"You were the one who started talking."

The shinobi had had enough apparently. He was completely red in the face, and was now looming threateningly over his desk. "Just because you're an Uchiha you think that you know everything, don't you?!" he roared in a very quiet tone.

'_Is that even possible? Must be an oxymoron.' _Itachi wondered to himself before replying calmly. "Not at all."

"Well, I'll tell you something, you little brat!" the secretary went on, completely ignoring the teen's reply. "You are just a little, small, insignificant, worthless-"

But exactly what kind of worthless fiend he was Itachi would never find out, because there came a shocked and slightly indignant exclamation from way down the corridor, and both the teen and the secretary turned to look. A familiar blond head was making – i.e. stalking – its way towards them, and the rest of the body was clearly just as frustrated as the head.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Uzumaki Naruto demanded of Itachi as he stalked right up to the sitting teen.

"Many things," Itachi replied calmly, sticking a pocky in his mouth. "Eating the most delicious food on earth. Having a deep discussion on the uses of body language with this charming secretary here. Waiting to speak with the Sandaime Hokage. Take your pick."

"Annoying people and keeping them from their work?" the blond suggested with a sneer, his arms crossed.

"If he feels annoyed, then, yes, apparently I did annoy him. However, we were also discussing the rules of courtesy, and you are being rude by interrupting a conversation that had nothing to do with you in the first place." The black-haired teenager rolled his eyes. "Annoying brat."

"Na-na-_NANI_?!?!?!" the secretary looked ready to have a heart attack. No one had ever spoken to Naruto-sama in such a way! It was simply not done! "You take that right back, you-!"

Once again Naruto cut him off, and glared at the teen. "When it comes to shinobi matters I am, by far, your superior. By all rights you should be calling me 'uncle', and yet you refuse to give me the respect that I deserve? Even other Uchihas and Hyuugas respect me." He growled dangerously, looming dangerously over the still-sitting Itachi, and emitting a wave of killer intent.

"Ah, but there is one little fault in your reasoning, _dobe_," Itachi smirked. "I am not a shinobi, and I don't intend to become one either. Therefore I shouldn't and _won't_ be calling you anything until you give me a reason to."

It was a miracle that the secretary hadn't keeled over and died yet, what with all the gasping and shocked exclamations that came from him.

Naruto ignored him, and leaned close to Itachi. In an attempt to intimidate him even further, the blond had pulled out one of his kunai, and now held it against Itachi's neck. "Do you respect me now?" he hissed.

"Not at all," came the infuriatingly calm reply. "In fact, you have just made sure that any and all respect I might have had for you – no matter how small – has disappeared completely. And while we are on the subject of respect, let me ask you a question. Do people respect you because they love or like you, or do they respect you because they fear you, and fear what might happen to them if they don't show you respect? Those are very different things, dobe, I suggest that you learn to differentiate one from the other."

The blond opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again. He repeated this process several times, but finally accepted that there was no answer that he could give.

Itachi smirked. "When you find out the answer to that question, please tell me. Ah! Hokage-san!" the latter part was directed at the Hokage that had just exited his office along with a very important-looking ANBU.

The Sandaime took in the scene in the ante-chamber, clear amusement shining in his eyes, and the ANBU gave off the distinctive feeling of being equally amused.

"Itachi-kun," the old man nodded. "Here for our daily chat, I see. And you brought some pocky as well! Wonderful! I hope there is some strawberry flavoured pocky there…?" he hinted.

"Of course, of course! Wouldn't forget it for the world." Itachi replied and walked up to the Hokage and the ANBU. "Good day to you too, ANBU-san. I want to thank you once again for escorting me to Konoha, so: thank you very much."

"… aa…" the ANBU agreed. For some strange reason he seemed shocked that the black-haired teen had remembered him, or that he'd managed to see the miniscule difference between the ANBU-masks. No normal civilian should be able to do that! The ANBU turned to the Hokage and to safer topics. "I shall leave you then, Hokage-sama."

"You're dismissed, ANBU-san." The Hokage said, and said ANBU disappeared in the blink of an eye. The old man then turned back to Itachi, totally ignoring his shocked grandson. "Well, Itachi-kun, lets go into my office then."

"Hai, hai!" Itachi smiled and followed the Sandaime into the office, and closed the doors behind them.

"Grandpa…" Naruto stared at the closed doors of the office in shock. Never before had the Sandiame ignored him to such a degree that he didn't even look at the blond, and Naruto found that he really didn't like the feeling it evoked in him; and with Itachi's previous comment floating around in his head, the situation seemed even worse somehow. With just one well-aimed and well-placed sentence, Itachi had managed to make Naruto doubt his entire life and existence up until now!

**VIII**

"You really do love to mess around with other people's heads, don't you?" was the first thing that the Hokage said after the two of them had situated themselves. "Especially my shinobi, for some strange reason."

"Eh, it's a hobby." Itachi replied flippantly.

"Indeed, though I am curious about what you said to my adoptive grandson. He looked like the world had fallen around his ears."

Itachi smiled. "Part of that is your doing, Sarutobi-san. Naruto has never been ignored before, I'd wager, and it must be a new experience for him – and a good experience, in my humble opinion. As for what we talked about, well, we simply spoke about respect, how to earn it and so on. Nothing serious at all."

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment further on it. "Right. Now, is there anything that I can do for you today, Itachi-kun?"

"Actually there is. I would like to know how the Hyuuga-family got to know about my mission yesterday. You see, one of them told Uchiha Fugaku about it, and he's been on my case all morning."

Sarutobi-san leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "They saw it."

"Saw it? Hokage-san, there wasn't a single person close enough to us to see anything according to Kakashi."

"It's their _kekkei genkai_, their bloodline limit."

Itachi blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked again.

"Nope, still not getting it!" he said. "Their _what_?"

"It is any ability passed down genetically through a specific clan that cannot be imitated or duplicated by any normal method, although it might be possible to copy it using genetic manipulation or organ transplantation. The eagerness with which the rulers of nations – or the shinobi themselves – have taken advantage of shinobi with bloodline limits for the purposes of furthering war efforts has taken its toll on their reputation, to such a degree that many automatically associate bloodline limits with war and pain. It eventually reached the point of outright fear and hatred, resulting in witch-hunts and systematic murders of families and individuals with bloodline limits." The Hokage explained patiently. "The Hyuuga Clan have the Byakugan which is a _doujutsu_, an ability centred in the eyes. It allows them 360 degree x-ray vision to a 50-metre radius. All Hyuugas are, of course, sworn to secrecy on what they might accidentally see, but since it isn't known that you have become a tokubetsu shinobi, they probably thought that you were training, or ended up at the wrong place to the wrong time."

'_Something like Superman's eyes, I suppose. But just like the Man of Steel, the Hyuugas must have a weakness.'_ Itachi's eyes were narrowed in concentration as he tried to sort through the information. "Then why didn't Fugaku think the same?"

"He's the chief of the Konoha Police Force," came the reply. "And he has access to almost all missions that aren't classified as secret, which yours wasn't. The Sharingan, the Uchiha Clans own doujutsu, is thought to have descended from the Byakugan."

The teen blinked (again). "The Uchihas have a bloodline limit?"

"I do not know much about it, the bloodline abilities are jealously guarded by their users, but the most commonly known ability of the Sharingan is that it can copy and memorize any technique that it witnesses – be it genjutsu, taijutsu or ninjutsu."

Itachi shook his head in shock, this really was some heavy mumbo jumbo as far as he was concerned. According to what he had learned in the biology classes in school, it was scientifically possible for people to have a something extra attached to their chromosomes et all, but never had he heard about people who were able to control this something extra and use it – like the Hokage had lead him to believe all people with a bloodline limit could.

'_This is just insane.'_ The teen rubbed his temples. "Right, back on safer ground where I have an inkling of what's possible and what's not: do you have a phone I could borrow to call my grandparents? I tried to use my cell this morning, but I couldn't get a connection."

The Hokage nodded in understanding. "Yes, of course. Please follow me, and I'll lead you to it."

**VIII**

"There is only one telephone in each of the Hidden Villages, and that's about all you will find," the shinobi in charge of the phone explained. "The people of this world aren't too interested in such things, and we shinobi only use the technology that benefits us. Of course, we do have televisions, and fridges, and electric light, and stoves and all that, but we have also learned from the mistakes of the Outsiders, and therefore have chosen not to bring cars, or trains, or busses, or airplanes and similar things here since they would pollute our world far too much. And some things – like handguns, tanks, bombs, etc. – we have no use for whatsoever."

"This must be Greenpeace heaven." Itachi muttered to himself. However, he had to admit that the shinobi were smart. Smart and deadly. "So, um, where is this phone of yours?"

The shinobi nodded towards a table. "There you have it."

The teen stared for a minute at the… contraption, then sighed and shook his head, wondering if he should have expected something like this. The phone looked like it came from the late 19th or early 20th century. It was black and big and there were more wires there than there was in a space shuttle. Beside the phone itself there were two books, one a log that registered who was using the phone when and for how long, and the other held all the information and numbers one needed to call other Hidden Villages or the Outside world.

"Thanks," Itachi said when the shinobi had showed him how to use the ancient phone, and watched as the man walked back to the other half of the room. The only thing separating the two halves was a rickety old shelf, filled to the brim with scrolls of some sort. The teen turned back to the hone, dialled the correct combination of numbers, and waited.

It took quite some time, but finally someone on the other side picked up.

"-Parker.-" Said the gruff voice in English.

"-Still haven't had your morning-coffee, eh, old man?-"

"-Itachi?!-" Parker's voice suddenly exclaimed, and it was quickly joined by other voices as well, demanding to know the same thing.

"-None other. Is the entire group assembled there?-"

"-Yes, we're in one of the meeting rooms at the HQs. Hold on, I'll put it on the speakers.-" There was a click and some static, and then Parker spoke up again. "-Talk to us, Itachi. Why didn't you contact us before?-"

Rodriquez's voice sounded amused. "-So, Itachi-chan, what's up?-"

"-Good to hear from you!-"

"-How's the Uchiha family?-"

Garcia's annoyed voice suddenly came across. "-Give the poor fellow a break, you guys. I'm sure he will tell us everything in due time. Oh, and hi, Itachi! How have you been?-"

Itachi smiled, suddenly missing this particular group of people and wishing that he was back home again. "-I'm fine. The reason I didn't call earlier, was because I couldn't.-"

"-They aren't threatening you, are they?-" Parker's voice was all suspiciousness.

"-Not at all, we had to hike for a week before reaching the village, my cell doesn't work, and there is only one phone here. How about you people, did you find something out?-"

There was a collective sigh from the group on the other end. "-Just how many people do you think are named 'Uchiha Fugaku'? It's like hundreds of them popped up out of nowhere! We're checking the medical records to the DNA-samples you used during the paternity test, but it's taking a lot of time. Especially since we also have other cases.-"

"-And we haven't found a single lead on any of those animal-masked people, either.-"

"-There's no hurry about this, so focus on those cases that really need it.-" Itachi said. "-Besides, I've got my trusty stun gun with me, so everything's working out fine.-"

"-You already electrocuted several people, didn't you?-" Garcia asked – more like stated – in a dull voice.

Rodriquez chuckled. "-People over here are already telling horror stories about you and that stun gun to the rookies. They are also taking the chance to relax since you aren't here to keep them on their toes.-"

Parker broke the light moment. "-Itachi, we've checked all the airports in the country – private and public ones – and no one has seen you pass through. Just what the hell is going on?-"

"-We took a private chopper out to a smaller ship in international waters, so that's probably why you couldn't find us.-" Itachi replied, hating himself for the lie. However, he doubted Parker or any of the others would believe him if he told them that he was actually in a sub-dimension or whatever it was. Heck! He wouldn't have believed it either if he hadn't been experiencing it all.

"-That does explain it.-" Parker agreed. "-Is there anything you can tell us that would make our search easier?-"

Itachi told them about the Uchiha Clan, mentioned the Hyuuga Clan, and also talked slightly about the fanaticism for the shinobi arts that the entire village seemed to have. Something held him back from revealing the weird jutsus and doujutsus and everything that would really be important. He didn't know what it was that kept him back, but he trusted his instincts and didn't say anything. "-Sorry I don't have any more information, I've only been here for three days.-"

"-It's alright. You better get going before those ninja-wanna-be's get too suspicious. Call me in a couple of days, alright?-"

'_There's nothing wanna-be about them!'_ Itachi's mind screamed, but outwardly he simply chuckled. "-Of course, and say 'hi' to my grandparents for me, will you?-"

"-Of course. Goodbye, Itachi.-" Parker's words were echoed by several other voices, and then the line went dead.

Itachi replaced the phone, leaned against the wall and sighed. _'This really __**is**__ insane.'_

**VIII**

For the rest of the day Itachi strolled around Konoha and tried to familiarize himself with the village, the shops, the people, and the spontaneously appearing-out-of-nowhere and jumping-from-freakin'-tall-roofs shinobi. The most difficult thing to get used to, however, wasn't the inherent suicidal tendencies of shinobi, or the twisting, confusing, maze-like streets of a shinobi village, rather it was the staring that all the civilians put him through. It was as though they had never seen a teenager before!

To escape the stares Itachi gravitated towards the training grounds and the calm that they presented. The grounds were large, and there seemed to be surprisingly many variations. One was a swamp, another a jungle, one a very deep lake, one a rocky plain, and there was – of course – several forests around. Either way, it kept Itachi amused for hours since even the animal life differentiated from training ground to training ground.

'_Why do I feel like I'm in Wonderland?' _Itachi wondered to himself as he walked along and munched on pocky. _'If some crazy Cheshire Cats, maniacal Queens of Hearts, or homicidal cards show up, I swear I'm out of here.'_

However, no weird cats, queens, lobsters, jabberwocky's, or cards appeared. Instead there was the chirping and singing of various birds, an occasional squirrel jumping from tree to tree, someone shouting about the 'power of youth', the melodious sounds of someone repeatedly hitting a log…

Itachi stopped walking and blinked. Had he imagined it?

"THE POWER OF YOUTH SHALL PREVAIL!!!!"

Birds weren't supposed to shout nonsense about the power of anything – not even the most well-trained parrot should be able to do that.

"IF I CAN'T DO THIS 500 TIMES, THEN I SHALL HOP AROUND KONOHA 200 TIMES!!!! ON ONE LEG!!!!"

There was something seriously wrong here.

'_This needs to be investigated.' _The teen decided, veered off from his original path and followed the voice – the voice which only got louder and louder, until it seemed like Itachi's eardrums were about to burst.

Itachi rounded a cluster of bushes and young trees, and suddenly stood at the edge of a moderately large clearing. There were logs and other targets all around, as well as a weird… creature… thing… boy. The boy was dressed in a green spandex suit, with glaringly orange leg-warmers, a red hitai-ate tied around his waist, and a horrible bowl-like haircut. Itachi's head cocked to one side as he watched the green-dressed boy punch and kick a poor log relentlessly.

"299!" the green-dressed boy counted. "300! 301! 302! 303!"

There was a girl in the clearing as well, dressed in a pink, Chinese-styled sleeveless shirt, and dark, knee-long pants. Her hair was pulled up into two tight buns, and she was surrounded by different weapons. The targets around here were riddled with various shuriken, kunai, and other weapons Itachi had never seen before. The girl was currently taking a break, getting something to drink, and keeping a slightly-incredulous eye at the green-dressed boy.

"Lee," the girl said. "You're going to hurt yourself if you continue this."

"317! 318! I have to – 320! – have to do this! 324! 325! The power of youth – 330! 331! – is burning in me – 335! 336! – brightly! 338! 339! 340!"

The girl shook her head, and thusly spotted the rather curious Itachi. "Um, hello? May I help you?"

"Hmm? Ah, no, I'm just… just staring." Itachi admitted as he continued watching the green-clad boy, then he shook himself and turned towards the girl. "Kishimoto Itachi." He presented himself with a short bow and stretched out his hand to shake hers.

"Yuki Tenten," she replied with a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Itachi-kun."

Itachi grinned at her and offered her pocky. She was already on his good side, what with not staring at him as though he was god, calling him –sama or Uchiha, and generally just acting normally. "Um, just one question. Him – Lee-kun, was it? – is he always like that?"

Tenten nodded with a sigh. "He takes after our jounnin-sensei."

"Ah. You sensei must be quite the… quite the individual, then."

She smiled. "Yes, that is one way to put it. Lee! Come over here!"

"YOSH!!!! TENTEN-SAN!!!! I DID IT!!!! I KICKED THE LOG 500 TIMES!!!! THE POWER OF YOUTH REALLY IS BURNING BRIGHTLY TODAY!!!!" the boy shouted as he ran over.

It was at this point that Itachi discovered the huge, black, caterpillar-like eyebrows. _'It's a rare specimen of the species Eyebrowus Hugeicus.'_ The teen thought to himself in fascinated amusement. "You sure know how to kick, Lee-kun."

"Thank you! I can see that the springtime of youth burns in you brightly… er… who are you?"

"This is Kishimoto Itachi-kun," Tenten introduced them.

"Ah! You are the genius child of the Uchiha Clan!" Lee exclaimed, his round eyes narrowing challengingly. "Rumours are already swarming about you. About your original lightning-jutsu, created after only being here for three days. About becoming a shinobi after just two days. And about your mission yesterday."

"Lee!" Tenten scolded. "Weren't you the one who said that we should act normal around Itachi-kun if we ever met him?"

But Lee ignored her. "You must be good." He said. "I would like to fight you."

The older teen blinked. "You'll have to excuse me, but I don't fight anyone who hasn't introduced themselves."

"Rock Lee is my name." The boy smirked. "And now, we fight."

Itachi stared. _'Well, shit.' _

**VIII**

There, it's done. Please tell me what you think

The explanation about the bloodline limits was taken from the Naruto-page at Wikipedia, so it isn't mine. I just couldn't figure out a way to say everything shortly, and in a formal manner. So, yeah…

Thanks to:

dragonmage27, THE Hyuuga Neji, TheWhiteMonk, angelsdawn1004, dragaan, Fate, Talchy, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Yami no Hikari-Chan, Kuroy, Insane Immortal Dragon Goddess, Honebar, disama, Beta the Second, Shi No Megami 20, Azalie-Kauriu, Vree, Sakurai Haruka, Chibi of Many Names, Laughing Cat, RainPure, MissSilver, Phamalama, Annaku, rockleefan, Sahrai, Silver-Entrantress-Elf, Chosha Kurenai, animeflunky, choclatbandit, and RozenMaiden14.


	9. Chapter 9

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the long wait, people! Please read, enjoy and review at the end.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter Nine**

'_Oh, bugger!'_ was all Itachi could think as the green-dressed Lee slid into a stance.

"Lee!" Tenten exclaimed. "You're being very rude! Stop it!"

"I am sorry, but this is something that has to be done." Lee replied, his eyes staying focused on Itachi alone. "I have to know how someone who has only been here for three days can accumulate such respected and rumoured skill. And I want to test myself against such a person."

"No, you don't!" Itachi whimpered. "You're just deluding yourself!"

"You don't have to fight him to do that!" the kunoichi shouted. "Why don't you simply ask him?"

"Yeah! Please ask me!"

Lee shook his head. "He might lie, Tenten-san, and nothing would have been accomplished."

"I wouldn't!" Itachi insisted with a squeak.

"Well, then I ask you to please fight me."

The older teen started to hastily back up, hands gesturing in front of him. "I really don't want to do this, Lee-kun!"

"I am sorry, Uchiha Itachi-san. Please prepare yourself." Lee's stance suddenly became tense and ready for action.

Itachi gulped, then whimpered and started to retreat faster and faster. His eyes were comically wide, hands gesturing more wildly and panicky._'This is really not a good idea! So not a good idea! Why did last night's stunning of Mizuki have to deplete my stun-gun of its power?! Oh, gods, I'm going to be beaten into a pulp of nothingness! __I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!!'_

"LEE!!!" Tenten shouted in warning, but it was too late.

Lee was already attacking.

Seeing as the young man wouldn't be deterred, Itachi could only do his best to move out of the way of the flurry of attacks that came his way. When the choice stood between being beaten to a pulp, and getting a slight workout trying to avoid said fate – perhaps acquiring a few bruises in the process – he'd take the workout any day of the week. So, making good use of his excellent dance-skills, the various dance-styles he had come across and dabbled in, and a huge portion of luck and fancy, but comical shenanigans, Itachi found himself continually avoiding Lee's attacks – even when the green-dressed teen picked up the pace to previously-unthinkable possibilities.

'_The boy is almost twice as fast as an Olympic runner!' _was the incredulous thought that ran through Itachi's head. _'What's even more amazing is that I still manage to elude him! The gods must finally be warming up to meEEEEAAAARRGGGH!!!!!'_

Itachi kept on ducking and jumping and twirling and weaving, and generally making very limber and acrobatic and, most of all, _silly_ moves to avoid Lee's attacks; until, finally, he found himself backed up to a tree-trunk. He and Lee were both panting, but the younger teen seemed far from ready to give up.

Tenten had simply stood off to the side, feeling shocked that Itachi still hadn't taken a single hit. _'Just how well-deserved were those rumours?!' _her inner voice shrieked at her.

"You are very good, Itachi-san," Lee panted lightly. "The rumours about you are correct."

"Yeah, great, does this mean that you won't try to beat the stuffing out of me now?" Itachi wondered, leaning against the trunk.

"I am sorry, but no. If I cannot beat you – someone who has lived in the Outside all his life – then I shall never be able to beat my eternal rival and the best gennin of the year, Hyuuga Neji-kun."

"I was afraid of that," Itachi muttered, his eyes narrowing. This couldn't go on, really, it couldn't. It was stupid and pointless, and it wasted a heck of a lot of time and energy. Any sane person could see that Lee was superior in this fight, and that Itachi had avoided his attacks on a huge amount of luck – and the fact that Lee couldn't predict his next move because he wasn't using taijutsu moves (which the young shinobi would be familiar with), but a wide variety of dance-moves and steps, and most shinobi didn't learn those because they didn't need to.

Lee didn't give a warning this time, and attacked suddenly and quickly. Itachi's face was emotionless and unreadable, his eyes narrowed and completely focused on the younger teen, body tense and ready for action. But the older teenager needn't have worried, because Lee had hardly crossed half of the distance between them before he was forced to jump out of the way of a couple of kunai that embedded themselves in the ground right in front of him.

Itachi, Lee and Tenten all looked to the direction that the weapons had come from, and watched as a long-haired, white-eyed brunette stepped out of the trees. "Lee, stop this nonsense. It is not your destiny to defeat him."

Before any of them could respond to such a statement, a second arrival made himself known. Kakashi appeared in a poof of smoke in the tree Itachi was leaning against, his one visible eye curved happily. "Yo, everyone!"

"Kakashi!" Itachi grinned up at the man. "What brings you here?"

"You asked to borrow my _'Icha Icha Paradise II'_ book, so I brought it!" Kakashi grinned under his mask.

"WAAH!!! Really?!?! You'll really let me borrow it?!" the oldest of the teens exclaimed eagerly, whilst silently vowing revenge on the silver-haired man for making him appear a pervert. "Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!"

The shinobi in the tree looked at Itachi suspiciously. "And you stun-gun is where? I'm not coming down until I know where the damned thing is."

"Being recharged back at the Uchiha compound. Ran out of power after electrocuting you and Shisui-kun. Now _gimmie_!" Itachi jumped up in an attempt to grab the small, orange book Kakashi was holding just out of reach.

"Maa, such eagerness!" Kakashi laughed and jumped out of the tree. As soon as he was on the ground, Itachi practically climbed all over him in an attempt to reach the book the older man kept constantly moving out of the way.

The three youngest people in the clearing simply stood there and watched as the silver-haired man waved goodbye to them and started walking off, Itachi still climbing all over him like a child and demanding something that sounded suspiciously like 'pocky'. Just before the weird duo disappeared out of sight, Itachi looked back at them and waved. "It was fun, Lee-kun! Nice to meet you, Tenten-san! See you later, Blank-eyes! Ciao!"

And then they were gone.

Tenten turned to the blank-eyed boy. "So, Neji-kun, what did you mean when you said that it wasn't Lee's destiny to defeat Itachi-san?"

Hyuuga Neji frowned. "I watched the entire scene. Did you not notice? Lee never managed to get in a single hit."

"I was about to attack Itachi-san seriously when you interfered." Lee pointed out.

"So was he."

"Huh?"

"Up until that point, Uchiha Itachi simply played with you, Lee. He wasn't using any taijutsu moves; he was literally dancing out of the way of your attacks. I recognised several of the steps and moves he used. If you had attacked him again, then the Uchiha would have turned serious as well and that would have been bad for Lee."

Tenten frowned. "I'm still not sure what you are getting at, Neji-kun."

Neji sighed, the only sign of exasperation he would allow himself. "What was Uchiha Itachi wearing?"

"A black, sip-up, long-necked and sleeve-less vest." Tenten replied, her eyes growing wide as she understood. "The kind of vest that only ANBU operatives wear under their white armour! Kami-sama!"

"Exactly."

Lee blinked in shock. "B-but Itachi-kun didn't have the ANBU tattoo!"

"The ANBU have their ways of hiding themselves amongst the public, and only another ANBU could recognise them. Hatake-san is a well-known ex-ANBU Captain. He would not have been willing to lend one of his precious books away to just anyone." Neji stated. "And do you really think that the ANBU would allow a mere civilian to walk around dressed like one of them?"

"But he's only been here for three days," the girl muttered. "How could this be?"

"Whomever said that this is the first time Uchiha Itachi has had contact with another shinobi? For all we know he might have been on a top secret mission to infiltrate the Outside, and it was decided that it would be easier if he appeared in that world as a child." The Hyuuga's eyes narrowed. "Whatever Uchiha Itachi tries to pass himself off as, he's anything but normal."

**IX**

Itachi sneezed.

"Someone must be talking about you!" Kakashi grinned from his place on the other side of the table. They were in the same restaurant stall they had been in yesterday, eating lunch. The man behind the counter eyed them with narrow, suspicious eyes, his eyes also sliding to the little, orange book sitting innocently on the table. He was clearly wondering if they were going to start talking about perverted things again, but he left them alone.

The teen glared. "I should freakin' electrocute your family-jewels again, Kakashi. Didn't I tell you yesterday that my virgin ears and eyes shall know no porn? And what do you do? You use _'Icha Icha Paradise'_ volume two as a reason to look me up."

The silver-haired man simply nodded and continued smiling.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "For this little stunt you owe me ten packs of pocky, just so you know."

"Oi!" came the protest.

"And five packs of those koala-bear chocolate-filled cookies. Do you want to add more?"

Kakashi wisely stayed quiet, though he sent something that could be a mix between a pout and a glare at the younger teen. "You're a demon, Itachi."

Itachi simply smirked, for a moment looking very dark and dangerous, but then their lunch-orders arrived, and he was all sunshine and daisies again. After thanking the waitress profoundly, the teenager turned to his companion and his food. "So, I assume that my signature on the mission report isn't the only reason you are here?"

"Maa, you could say that," Kakashi replied. He took one of the dango that had been placed between the two, pulled down his mask and ate up the dango before Itachi had any idea of what was going on. "It has to do with the gennin graduation exams."

Itachi – who was still blinking in shock at the sudden disappearance of the dango – simply managed an eloquent, "Huh?"

"Upon graduating from the Shinobi Academy, the students are put into three-man teams with an experienced jounnin as their instructor. The jounnin will then give the newly-formed team a test of his or her choosing, and if the children pass that they will be recognised as true shinobi of Konoha and will appear on the active duty list."

"Am I correct in assuming that out of all the teams of newly-graduated students, only a few will pass their jounnin-sensei's test?"

"Correct. The failure-rate is approximately 66 percent."

"Harsh." Itachi commented without any real sympathy or emotion in his voice. He understood the reasoning behind it, and he had gone through the same thing. The FBI didn't pick just anyone who passed through their courses, and the Behavioural Analysis Unit was even more picky. Out of thousands of people that applied, only a small handful would be chosen.

"Indeed," Kakashi muttered, having picked up on the younger man's lack of emotion. Most people freaked out once they heard this, but then again, Itachi's shinobi career didn't depend on it. "Once again I have been noted down as a jounnin-sensei, and Hokage-sama suggested I should talk to you about my possibly-future students."

"I fail to see what I can do apart from analysing the three children."

"You know them already, Itachi. You probably know them all better than even their parents know them."

Itachi's eyes narrowed, a certain gleam entering them, and at once he appeared more serious, more dark, emotionless and perhaps even sinister. "These three children would happen to be Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and my own little brother, Uchiha Sasuke, would they?"

Kakashi stared at the changed teenager for a second, before he nodded. "They will be put down as the new Team Seven. Uzumaki Naruto as the best student in everything. Haruno Sakura as the one with the best chakra control, illusionary techniques and healing techniques, and a perfect score on all written tests. And Uchiha Sasuke who is one of the worst people academically in his class, and who failed his last exam, making him one year older than the other two."

"And by putting the best and the worst together you people hope that Uzumaki will push Sasuke to improve himself, and that they together will force Haruno to concentrate more on the real-life aspect of things rather than the theoretical." Itachi raised an eyebrow. "This can't be the only reason you put children on the same gennin team, I hope?"

"Of course not. Some teams are formed to be the trackers and the spies, while other teams are formed to be the guards and the fighters, amongst other things." The silver-haired shinobi had lost his jovial look as well, his face serious. "What I want is you professional opinion of the three children that could end up being my team, and I want your opinion on what would be the perfect test for them."

"Professional, huh?" Itachi mumbled, biting into one of the dango. _'I wonder if this is a test for me as well. Just how professional and detached am I able to stay with my own little brother involved, is that what you and the Hokage want to know, Kakashi? The perfect test indeed.'_

They sat in silence for a while, Itachi munching on dango and Kakashi constantly pulling the mysteriously-disappearing-dango act. The patrons around them talked and laughed and ordered food or drink, but no one really paid any attention to the two shinobi. Some might send them curious looks upon entering the stall, but other than that they were left alone. Finally, when there was no dango left to eat, Itachi decided to move on with the conversation again.

"When exactly is this gennin exam to take place? Sasuke was under the impression that there was at least two months left."

"In a week's time. As a shinobi they have to be able to adapt to ever-changing situations." Kakashi replied. "Besides, how are we to know which student is serious about their work and which student simply had a last-minute cramming session if we don't surprise them?"

"Point taken." The teen nodded. "Alright, you want me professional opinion, and I shall give it to you. Keep in mind, though, that I have only been here for three days, and that I've met the people in question only once or twice for a short period of time. With whom do you want to start?"

"Aa, duly noted. Lets start with the best. What can you tell me about Uzumaki Naruto?"

Itachi gathered his thoughts for a moment, going over his interactions with the blond in questions, and everything he had picked up from how people reacted when said blond was in the vicinity. "He's been hailed as a sort of messiah after this Kyuubi-business people keep mentioning. His being the son of the Yondaime Hokage, then being adopted by the Sandaime Hokage, and – correct me if I'm wrong here – having a personal teacher from an extremely young age, has made him subconsciously think that most, if not all, of his fellow students are dim-witted and stupid because they cannot keep up with him, He is smart and his skills are very good, there's no denying it, and hard-working, but he also does not take well to working with others – as you have probably already been told by his Academy teachers, or read in his file. He is under the impression that everyone else will just slow him down from reaching his goal, though what said goal might be, I do not know."

Kakashi nodded seriously. "You know quite a lot about him despite having only just met him."

"I am good at what I do," the dark-haired teen replied. "And some people are easier to profile than others."

"Please continue. What about Haruno Sakura?"

"The girl is obsessed with Uzumaki, and that obsession will blind her for the skills and advice anyone else might offer. Uzumaki is her god, his word is law, and she will follow him faithfully through hell and high water – at least, that is what she thinks. Her wakeup call to real life will be harsh, but the sooner it comes the better it will be for everyone involved. Currently Haruno's only interests are Uzumaki, being pretty, Uzumaki, have a nice figure, Uzumaki, show that she is book-smart, and Uzumaki. She will pull your team down with only having book-smarts and ignoring Sasuke – and she will ignore him; he isn't like Uzumaki, and therefore not worth her time. She is shallow, living in a fantasy-world, and her current goal is most likely to marry Uzumaki and not to become a good kunoichi."

The older man sighed. "Wonderful."

"I do not envy the task of turning her into something useable." Itachi couldn't help but smirk slightly.

"And the last team-member?" Kakashi inquired, his visible eye once again focused solely on Itachi.

"Hmm. Sasuke is the most difficult to profile."

"Because he is your little brother?"

Itachi shook his head lightly. "No, but because he is so incredibly hidden. He has been overshadowed by Shisui all his life, with Mikoto-san being the only one to pay any lasting attention to him. Fugaku's disapproval of him and strict control over the Clan and the people in his house, and the constant way the rest of the Uchihas put him down – perhaps without realising it or meaning it – by comparing him to Shisui, has made him feel as though he has something to be ashamed of. Upon starting his first year and first semester at the Shinobi Academy he tried his best and got very good marks, but Fugaku refusal to acknowledge him no matter how well he did, and compared him even more to Shisui. This hurt him deeply, and led Sasuke to stop trying. Now he stays in the background in an attempt to keep from being hurt again, and downplays his skills to keep from the limelight."

Kakashi couldn't help but feel slightly awed at the analytical skills and knowledge of human nature that the teenager had just demonstrated. Everything Itachi had just said about the three soon-to-be Academy graduates, had been reported by the special ANBU squad that kept an eye on the children throughout the year and as long as they attended the Shinobi Academy. The silver-haired man had of course read the files on the three children that were to perhaps become his team, but he knew for a fact that Itachi had never had any access to these files. _'Sandaime-sama was correct when he told me that Uchiha Itachi would surprise me in more ways than one.'_

"I cannot tell you more," Itachi said, and smiled slightly. "I haven't been here long enough to know all that much about the three people in question."

"It's more than enough, Itachi." Kakashi replied with a returning – though hidden – smile. "And do you have any ideas for the test I could use?"

"I know that you already have a tried and true method for that test due to our previous conversation, and that you do not have any real need for my help. However, this time I shall oblige you." Itachi sent the other man a look. "Force the three to work together, to accept each other as a team. Force Sasuke out of his shell, give Haruno a wakeup call she will not forget, and force Uzumaki to understand that he is not the only one in this world."

Kakashi nodded, his eye never leaving Itachi's face. He thought back to last night, when Itachi had commented on him reminding Kakashi of someone. He thought back on the way the young teen learned to _henge_ after only half-a-day spent sitting in on Academy classes. And he thought back on the way his and Shisui's family jewels had ended up as victims to Itachi's stun-gun, and also went over their most recent conversation. After all this Hatake Kakashi, infamous Copy-nin of Konoha, could only reach one conclusion: Uchiha Itachi was a genius, plain and simple.

'_And the amount of potential I see in him sends shivers down my spine. If he ever activated the Sharingan or ever went rogue, then Itachi would be one of Konoha's best assets, or most dangerous enemies.'_

**IX**

That evening, right after the sun had set, Itachi wandered out into one of the beautiful and large gardens found in the Uchiha quadrant. He had with him his guitar, and he wandered way back into the garden in order to get some peace and quiet from Fugaku and Shisui and all the other annoying Uchiha Clan-members.

'_Gods above, those people could talk a donkey into suicide.'_ The seventeen-year-old thought to himself with a roll of his eyes. Finally finding a good spot deep within the garden, Itachi settled down on one of the convenient stone-benches, and started to tune the guitar slightly, before he began to play a guitar-only version of The Eagles' song '_Hotel California_'. Halfway through the melody, he became aware that Sasuke was standing off to the side, in the shadows cast by one of the weeping willows, listening to the music. Itachi simply smiled and didn't say anything, but continued to play song after song, and allowed Sasuke to approach him when the young boy wanted to.

"You're v-very good, I-Itachi-kun." Sasuke commented rather shyly and hesitantly – as though he expected to be reprimanded for listening without permission – but there was only honesty in his eyes.

"Thank you," Itachi smiled. "Do you play an instrument, by any chance?"

"Th-the flute, b-but I'm n-not good at it a-at all."

'_You put yourself down in everything you do, Sasuke, and one day I swear I'll put a stop to it,'_ the older teen vowed silently, but none of this showed on his face. "Sit down, Sasuke-kun, and let's talk for a while."

"T-talk ab-about what?" Sasuke asked hesitantly, sitting on the edge of the stone-bench. He really wasn't used to such friendliness from anyone but his mother, and every second he expected Itachi to stop being so kind, and laugh and ridicule him like everyone else did. Logically he knew that this was a stupid fear, and Itachi hadn't showed any inkling to even liking 99.9 percent of the other Uchihas. His head knew all this, but his heart was so afraid to be betrayed and left alone again.

"Everything. Anything. Nothing. Whatever comes to mind, from what we ate for dinner, to future hopes and dreams." Itachi grinned. "We can start with something easy, if you wish, like school. How does the revising for the exams coming along?"

School was good. Sasuke could talk about school. "I… I'm n-not really s-sure if I'm ready for the e-exam."

"And what's the problem, if you don't mind me asking?"

"T-the h-hand-seals for a couple o-of the techniques. I-I'm not sure I've g-gotten them correct."

Itachi put the guitar carefully on the ground and leaned it against the bench, then turned to his little brother and focused fully on him. "Right then, please explain to me about these hand-seals and their purpose, and we'll see."

"H-hai. Th-the hand-seals help us mould and to br-bring out the required amount of our chakra. The seals a-are as follows, fr-from weakest to strongest: ram, rat, snake, rabbit, bird, boar, dog, monkey, ox, horse, tiger and dragon." Sasuke carefully demonstrated each seal as he named them. "E-each jutsu has a unique c-combination of s-seals."

'_Like a form of mathematics.'_ Itachi mused. He had carefully noted just how much chakra had risen to the surface when Sasuke performed each hand-seal – he had picked up on this flow and ebb of chakra when he had performed the _henge_ last evening, and now put it to good use. "And the techniques you said you had trouble with?"

"The**Kawarimi no Jutsu** a-and the **Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu**." Sasuke gulped nervously. He really wasn't used to this. "Th-the kawarimi s-switches your body w-with a plant, an animal, o-or anything else loose that's in the v-vicinity. This de-depends on how f-far out you send y-your chakra. Y-you sort of e-exchange places with th-the other thing or creature. This c-can be used to avoid certain d-dangers, a-and is supposed to b-be performed silently and without h-hand-seals."

"Sounds extremely useful." The older teen commented. "Please show it to me."

"B-but…" the younger boy trailed off upon seeing the other's face. Although kind and patient, it was unrelenting, and Sasuke suddenly knew that he wouldn't be allowed to part with Itachi until he knew the two techniques he was struggling with forwards, backwards and in his sleep. So with a sigh, he started on the short sequence of hand-seals for the kawarimi.

Itachi focused on both the seals that Sasuke was making, but also the sense of the chakra that was building up in Sasuke. Just as the chakra seemed to reach the desired point, it was abruptly overloaded with chakra, and died out and the technique was a dud. Itachi had the shy boy perform the hand-seals and technique five times, before he was really sure in his assumptions. "You overload the technique with too much chakra, Sasuke-kun."

"Huh?"

"I have no doubt that in some techniques, overloading them with chakra is a good thing, but I do not think that that is due to the sequence of hand-seals. No, you were right, the hand-seals are wrong." The older teen thought for a moment. "From what I could feel, then it's the last hand-seal that is wrong, and it brings forth too much chakra. Would you mind trying the following combination," Itachi rattled off a quartet of seals, and sat back and watched Sasuke perform them hesitantly. It took them five tries before they hit the correct combination, and Sasuke was suddenly replaced by one of the hanging paper-lights.

"I did it!" Sasuke exclaimed happily as he came running back to the stone-bench from the other side of the weeping willow tree. "Tiger, boar, ox and snake is the correct combination!"

'_And for once you aren't stuttering,'_ Itachi smiled. "Excellent work. Now, how about that**Goukakyuu**-thingamabob?"

"Hai!" Sasuke eagerly sat down on the bench. "**Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu** allows the user to blow a large ball of f-fire from his or her mouth – again, all depends on h-how much chakra o-one puts into it. Th-the Uchiha C-Clan specialise in f-fire-based techniques, a-and the **Goukakyuu** is a-almost l-like a rite o-of passage in o-our clan. W-when you c-can perform th-the technique you a-are allowed to bear the U-Uchiha fan o-on your clothes, and can j-join in o-on the clan m-meetings."

"But you have the fan on your back," Itachi pointed out. "That means that you have performed the technique correctly, no?"

Sasuke suddenly seemed to deflate again. "I… I d-did it once, b-but I h-haven't been practicing d-diligently l-like Shi-… like I s-should, a-and I've g-gone and f-forgotten th-the seals…"

Itachi had easily caught the fact that Sasuke started to stutter again the second he started talking about the Uchihas, and he also caught the little slip-up of Shisui's name, but he didn't comment on it. Nor did he mention that it was his belief that Sasuke either forced himself to forget the hand-seals, or pretended to forget them in order not to end up in the spot light. With a mental curse sent towards the Uchiha Clan, the older teen proceeded to go ask the younger boy to through the hand-seals again.

This jutsu was trickier, and it took them half-an-hour to figure out exactly which of the seals were wrong. Then it took them another hour to find the correct ones. By the time they had found the correct combination, they had moved out of the garden and towards a small, isolated lake sitting on the very edge of the enormous Uchiha property, and furthest away from both Konoha and the houses that contained the Uchihas. There was a short dock going a few feet into the water, and Sasuke placed himself on the edge before he started to do the hand-seals and Itachi stood on the grass behind him and slightly off to the side in order to watch.

Performing the correct seals carefully but as quickly as he dared, Sasuke took a deep breath and brought his hand up in front of his mouth. "**Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu**!" he shouted and breathed out forcibly. A stream of fire shot out through his fingers, and formed into a sizable fireball once it was far enough away, only depleting after a good minute.

"Well done!" Itachi applauded with a grin. "Bravo!"

Sasuke blushed scarlet. Despite having the correct hand-seals he had, quite frankly, expected the technique to fail as it always had when he had tried to perform it for anyone – except that one time when he had been seven and practicing it alone, and Fugaku had stumbled over him. "I-I c-couldn't have done it w-without you, I-Itachi-kun."

"Nonsense," Itachi snorted, and playfully messed up Sasuke's hair. "You would've figured it out in the end. And you were the one doing all the work, I just stood there and gaped like a goldfish when you spewed out that fireball. It boggles the mind how the damn thing didn't burn your lips or fingers."

"Y-you learn to a-automatically coat y-your lips and fingers w-with a thin s-sheet of chakra, a-and that protects you." Sasuke said. He felt elated and happy and giddy and he wasn't quite sure what else, but he knew it was all good. Someone else other than his mother had seen him perform a technique, and was praising him highly for it. "Th-thank you f-for all your help."

The older teen ruffled the other's hair again. "Anytime, Sasuke-kun. Now, it's quite late, and time for aspiring shinobi to be in bed. Early bird gets the worm, and all that. Hop to it!"

Sasuke squeaked as he was tickled, and automatically jumped away down the path. He turned around once he sensed that the other male wasn't moving. "A-are you coming?"

Itachi smiled. "Not quite yet. I'd like to stay a bit longer and watch the moon; here it isn't blocked by the houses, or dimmed by the numerous lights of the village, and it is a full moon tonight. I hope you don't mind?"

"N-not at all, this really _is_ a n-nice place. I'll s-see you tomorrow morning." Sasuke smiled happily. "O-oyasumi."

"Good night to you too." Itachi returned the sentiment, and watched the younger boy walk down the path and out of sight. With a sigh he fell backwards on the soft ground, placed his arms under his head and gazed up at the stars and the moon. The little lake and the surrounding landscape really were very peaceful and perfect for relaxing – or practicing a technique that was probably any pyromaniac's wet dream.

After about an hour lying in the grass, Itachi got up and brushed himself off. He stepped out onto the small, wooden dock and gazed into the water for a good minute, before turning away and heading towards the grass again. Then, fast as lightning, he turned towards the water again, and a second later a fireball, easily twice the size of Sasuke's, illuminated the lake and the surroundings.

**IX**

That is all for now, please review and tell me what you think.

I hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter.

I'm glad so many of you like the way I have portrayed Uchiha Sasuke in this story, I was really worried about that for a while.

Apologies if you think that this story is going too fast, and analysing people takes more than a couple of meetings and three days. However, I have shortened it down drastically, because I don't have the time to drag it out all that much. This story won't become another uber-long one like **Over the Hills**, so some things have to be changed with artistic licence.

Thanks to:

animeflunky, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Beta the Second, dragonmage27, M.J., Fate, Honebar, rockleefan, LynnGryphon, THE Hyuuga Neji, Vree, Laughing Cat, Akua, Chibi of Many Names, kirin-sama, Akitesyu, muto shizuka, Kitsune1, PersonaJXT, Daitoshi, The Elemental Alchemist, Sony Boy, Dadaiiro, Barranca, Ranyl-sama, Lady Blade, punkrockstargirl101, Reflecting the Light, and RobotPirateNinja.


	10. Chapter 10

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the absence, but school has kidnapped me, tied me up and has thrown me into a classroom until I can finish my exams. So please do not expect anything until at least Christmas – though I might be able to squeeze out a little special, or something…

**Warning:** The flashback scenes in this chapter rely heavily on one of the episodes of '_Criminal Minds_', so they aren't mine though I have tried to change things a bit.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter 10**

_BOISE NATIONAL FOREST  
SHERIFF'S STATION  
BOISE, IDAHO_

_"So you are telling me that I've got a couple of sickos running about my woods hunting humans with crossbows?!" the sheriff exclaimed looking totally shocked._

_Parker nodded. "I fear so."  
_

"_And why haven't you people showed up before now if this has been going on for so long?" the balding man glared at them._

"_The FBI cannot get involved in cases until they are invited by the local police." Rodriguez replied calmly. "Your deputy came to us with this case two days ago while you were still on vacation, sir."_

_The sheriff sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair, his eyes focused on the various paper and pictures spread across his desk. All documents belonged to this case, and it shocked him just how many of the cases he had had over the years were linked together. These murders were spread over years and years, and he had never been able to link them together! It was so obvious now that he looked at it. He sighed again and looked up at the Behaviour Analysis team that the FBI had sent. "Alright, I'll give you full run on this. You get all the help you need from my men, a room to set up in, anything you might need. Just catch these damn bastards."_

_The group__ efficiently and quickly set up what they needed in the room they had been given. Itachi stared at the pictures of all the victims that they had managed to link together. "There are so many," he commented. "And probably even more. In a large national forest preserve like this, with 2,612,000 acres the rangers can't cover everything. The elements, time and animals have probably erased the traces of most of the victims."_

"_And I seem to be finding more and more that fit our killer's MO by the hour," Leigh's voice came through the speaker on Itachi's phone. Leigh was stuck back at Quantico due to a broken leg. He was sitting in front of his beloved computers going through the missing-people reports._

"_First time I've come across a case where the serial killer don't have any sexual preference to either male or female victims. There are also no signs of degradation nor experimentation on the victims. It's as if these guys aren't interested in either."_

_Garcia came up beside him, her arms loaded with files – one of which she gave to Itachi. "Being such a large and wild area, one would assume that these hunters know their way around exceedingly well. Look here for example," she pointed to the map of the entire forest they had hung up, and had marked off the sites where the bodies had been found. "All these sites are so remote and removed from the closest road by miles, sometimes even days." _

"_Experienced woodsmen and hunters." Rodriguez muttered, then sighed. "Come along, Parker's getting ready to brief the rangers and the sheriff."_

"_Talk to you later, Leigh," Itachi said, looking down at his phone._

"_Later, sugar-lumps!"_

_The teenager twitched at the horrid nickname, but didn't bother to comment. Instead, he simply turned the phone off, and walked out into the main room of the police station where everyone – from FBI to sheriff to deputies to rangers – had gathered. It was about this time that the FBI-agents told the local police what kind of men the were looking for, what to expect of them, how to recognise them, and such, and it seemed to be the only constant thing from case to case in Itachi's opinion. Everything else always changed._

"_We are looking for at least two offenders in good physical condition. You would have to be fit to make it through this terrain," Parker nodded to the map hanging on one of the walls. "And nobody would go this deep into the woods without backup."_

"_Killing teams are like most partnerships – one weak, the other strong." Rodriguez added. "These men haven't exhibited any sexual interest in their victims, so they are either developmentally prepubescent or they could be related. Immediate relatives wouldn't discuss sexual encounters, let alone perform them in front of each other. And if they are related, they could have an us-versus-them mentality. Their bond will be unbreakable because it is all they have ever known."_

"_These guys take pleasure in watching their prey die slowly and painfully." Garcia said. "Most hunters put the animal out of their misery, but these people have no mercy at all."_

_The people in the room were listening carefully to everything, occasionally taking notes. _

"_These victims found themselves in the middle of nowhere, their car's probably breaking down," Itachi spoke up, and the people in the room looked shocked to see someone so young there. "They were all healthy, smart people, which means that they were either approached in a manner that wasn't suspicious or threatening, or the offenders waited for a moment of weakness, for the perfect moment to attack. These particular hunters are very good at what they do, which makes it no surprise that they have chosen a bow as their weapon. It requires outmost precision and it challenges them every time."_

"_Hunting is their sport, humans are their targets." Parker finished the briefing. "Use everything you know about these woods, and good l-"_

_He was cut off by the door to the station slamming open and a young woman running into the room, looking panicked and worried. "Please! You have to help me! My friend was supposed to show up yesterday for a visit, but on the way she called and said she had car-trouble! Since then I haven't heard from her at all! Please! Help me!"_

_Itachi's eyes narrowed. They suddenly had another potential victim on their hands, but why so soon? It was less than a week since the last one._

**X**

"_But why did they take another victim so soon?" the young female ranger asked Itachi as they trekked through the rough forest._

"_Because they can only hunt while no one else is in these woods, and official hunting season begins in two days time." The teen replied._

"_Man, these people are sick." Garcia muttered as she followed them._

_The trio walked in silence for another while, until something far to their right, glittering in the sun, caught Itachi's attention. "Ranger Evans?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_What is that over there?" he pointed._

_The young woman's eyes narrowed and she pulled out a pair of binoculars. "I'm not sure, but there isn't supposed to be anything in that direction for miles."_

_The trio didn't even need to exchange words and automatically headed in the direction of the glittering, Evans only stopping shortly to tell the rest of the rangers with them to report back to HQ and to wait for them there on the ridge. It took them almost half an hour to get there, and when they arrived they found themselves in a hastily-abandoned camping-ground. Four backpacks, two tents, clothes, food, water bottles… everything laid spread across the ground, cut and ripped up and totally useless._

"_No animal did this," Evans said, then hurriedly took out her walkie-talkie and got in contact with the rangers waiting on the ridge and also with HQ._

"_There are two blood-spots," Garcia announced and pointed. "Here and there." _

"_Do you think that these people were…?" a rookie ranger muttered once he and the rest of the group had arrived. _

"_Most definitely," Itachi replied, his eyes focused on the ground and the vague tracks he could see in it. "These people were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, but for the hunters it has suddenly got even more challenging. Damn, I keep loosing track of the footprints in these pine-needles."_

_The rookie came over, stared at the ground a bit, then suddenly hurried off. "The tracks pick up again over here."_

"_I've got to learn how to do that," Itachi muttered and followed the young man. Together they followed the tracks until they completely lost them in a thicket. "Three different tracks at the very least, which could mean that three out of the four people camping here survived."_

"_And what about the lady that went missing yesterday?" the rookie asked worriedly._

_Itachi sighed and stopped under a tree, and turned towards the rookie. "Her friend said she was athletic and strong, she has probably managed to survive the night. And has, most likely, joined up with the campers. She was the offenders primary target, the tracked her down to this place and things just evolved from there." Suddenly the teen's black eyes narrowed and he approached the rookie. "What's this spot on your shoulder?"_

"_Huh?" the rookie looked at the brownish spot and lifted a hand to touch it, but froze when something wet and most definitely red landed on the back of his hand. "Oh, gods…"_

_The two of them slowly looked up into the tree they were standing under, and the rookie was soon on the other side of the clearing, throwing up his lunch. Itachi simply stood there and stared at the sight of two human beings hung upside-down in the tree, their throats cut and left to bleed out like any old kill. "Garcia, we have found our victims." The teen called out, never taking his eyes off of the horrid sight._

**X**

_Itachi followed Garcia and the other rangers as they hurried in the direction they had heard shouting from. It came from a young woman, so the group assumed that it was one of the people being hunted by the two perpetrators. A little before they reached the angry shouting, Itachi stopped and grabbed a hold of the jacket of the rookie he had been talking to, pulling the two of them in a totally different direction from the rest of the group._

"_Wha-?!" the rookie stumbled._

"_There is no time to explain." Itachi told the confused ranger. "Just lead me as quietly as you can around the clearing that lies ahead, and make sure that I have a good visual."_

"_Huh? Oh, yes, this way." The rookie was still confused, but did was he was told, and quickly and skilfully led Itachi in a wide circle around the clearing where they could hear Garcia giving orders to the rangers, and someone comforting the poor woman that had been hunted for the past three days._

_Finally Itachi stopped them behind some rocks lying downhill from the clearing._

"_Uhm, you will have a better view of everything if you looked down on the clearing," the rookie ranger explained. "There's a point just up ahead." He pointed towards their left._

"_No, thank you, this will suffice." Itachi said and got into position, gun drawn, his eyes focused in the direction that the ranger had pointed._

_The ranger looked thoroughly confused now. "But no hunter places himself somewhere where he can't easily watch his prey."_

"_Exactly, and therefore our two perpetrators – who are very experienced hunters – will attack from the hill you just pointed out to me."_

"_Oh! I didn't think about that."_

_The teen ignored the ranger and stared emotionlessly, waiting for something to move. He didn't have to wait long, as he suddenly spotted two shadows moving between the trees, notching a pair of bows and aiming at the people in the clearing. Itachi didn't hesitate, didn't think about the almost-impossible shot he was about to take, and, completely emotionlessly, simply fired off several rounds from his gun._

_The forms of the perpetrators dropped, finally having been hunted and wounded by someone more skilful – yet also more merciful – than themselves._

**X**

The seventeen-year-old stretched in bed and sighed. It was almost a week since he had ended up here in Konoha, and almost two weeks since he had left his grandparents. Time sure did fly when one was having the time of one's life annoying the hell out of the Uchiha Clan and driving the rest of Konoha insane! Itachi grinned wickedly and stretched again then got up and got ready for the day ahead. Down in the kitchen he ran into Mikoto, but no one else, which was unusual.

"Good morning, Itachi-kun," Mikoto greeted him and handed him his breakfast. "Fugaku was called away this morning, and Shisui was sent on a mission sometimes during the night. And Sasuke is still on that camping-trip as you know, he should return sometimes tomorrow afternoon."

"Aa, thank you," the teen started eating his breakfast slowly, enjoying every bite, his manner thoughtful and focused on the woman in front of him. Halfway through his meal, he decided to voice some of those thoughts. "Mikoto-san, you were once a shinobi, were you not? Of what rank, if I might ask?"

Mikoto blinked in surprise at the question, but then smiled. "I used to be a jounnin, though not a very good one."

'_There we go again with the putting-myself-down routine.'_ Itachi mused, his annoyance with the Uchiha Clan growing. "And you quit when you became pregnant, right? I assume that you can't take dangerous missions while carrying the next generation of Konoha citizens."

"Oh no, not at all. I quit being a shinobi when I married Fugaku." The woman replied, still smiling, and started in on her own breakfast. "It was about two years before I became pregnant with you, Itachi-kun."

"Indeed? Why did you quit, if I may ask? As far as I can understand you did not have any really pressing reasons to quit. Sure, a newlywed pair should spend more time together, I'll grant you that, and if you had chosen to take on fewer missions, then I would have understood that. But quitting entirely…?" the teen seemed genuinely confused, though he asked the question only to confirm a growing suspicion.

"Because it is not proper for the wife of a Clan Head to do such things."

"But from what Shisui-san told me during our last training-session together, the Aburame Clan-leader's wife is still a shinobi and the Inuzuka Clan are led by a woman." Itachi watched the woman across from him carefully, her next words and reactions would either make or break the teen's plan's involving said woman.

Mikoto averted her eyes to her food to make sure that she correctly grabbed what she was after, the action not really seeming out of the ordinary. "Yes, indeed, some clans are not built up quite like the Uchihas – as you will soon discover, Itachi-kun." Then she looked up at him and smiled again. "Please tell me how your stay here so far has been, Itachi-kun. Are you enjoying yourself? What do you think of our village? Do you miss your adoptive grandparents?"

Itachi allowed the woman to change the topic, and answered all her questions accordingly. He had gotten the answers he was looking for anyway. That Mikoto had looked down when she answered his question had told him so much more than he had ever hoped for. Mikoto had made peace with the idea of being a housewife for the rest of her life, but some small, thoroughly repressed part in her still wanted to go back to her earlier shinobi-days. She was jealous of the wife of the Aburame Clan-leader and of the matriarch of the Inuzuka, and – though she most likely had no idea of it – she resented Fugaku to a degree for forcing her to give up her shinobi career.

'_Of course, these are all theories,'_ Itachi mused to himself as he chatted light-heartedly with Mikoto._'But from what I have seen of this clan in the time I have been here, then those are damn strong theories. Now, how to go about changing it?'_

**X**

Itachi grinned from his shadowy spot inside a dango-selling booth, as he spotted his little brother returning with the rest of his class from their three-day camping trip. The large group stopped at the gate to register with the guards, Iruka keeping a stern eye on each and every one of his students throughout it all. Once the children were registered they ran off homewards in order to get rid of heavy backpacks and take long-wanted baths. The seventeen-year-old was just about to step towards his little brother and greet him, but held himself in check when he noticed that Naruto and his fangirls stalked towards Sasuke and surrounded the shy boy.

'_Wonder how he will handle this?'_ Itachi mused, keeping himself in the shadows and listening in on the conversation that was about to take place. However, despite it all, he was ready to step in and help Sasuke should the young boy need it.

"Oi,_dobe_, I have something to ask you." Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, and swung him around forcefully.

Sasuke jumped in shock and looked around for a way out, but the fangirls had already surrounded him thoroughly. Therefore the young Uchiha found himself gulping nervously, but forcing himself to meet the blond's eyes head on. "W-what c-can I h-help you w-with, N-Naruto-san?"

Naruto glared at Sasuke. "That brother of yours – Itachi, or whatever he is called – why is he here in Konoha at all? Wouldn't it have been better to give up on searching for him, instead of doing it for the past, what, seventeen years?"

"An U-Uchiha do-doesn't g-give up." Sasuke replied somewhat shakily. "B-besides, w-why are you so h-hostile to my br-brother? What h-has he done t-to you?"

"Hah! As if you are a good example of that!" the pink-haired Sakura sneered. "And _your brother_ threatened _me_ just five days ago!"

The blond boy ignored her. "He is not a shinobi, he has no job and he is mooching off of the Uchiha Clan. He is absolutely useless so far, why has he not been sent back home yet?"

Sasuke simply stared in shock at the venomous words Naruto uttered. Never before had the young Uchiha seen the blond act like this.

Itachi, on the other hand, smirked darkly. _'I did not know that I had shaken Naruto enough for him to fear to attack me, and going after Sasuke like this.'_

"M-my brother isn't u-useless!" Sasuke finally managed to protest, hands balling angrily at his sides. "H-he's w-worth a hundred o-of you!"

Now it was Naruto and his fangirls who were surprised at their classmate's behaviour.

'_Good boy, Sasuke!'_ Itachi cheered silently for his little brother.

"W-what did you say to Naruto-sama?!" Sakura finally managed to choke out.

Sasuke looked just as shocked as everyone else, and blushed brightly at Sakura's accusation. He couldn't believe that he had been so rude to someone who was so much better than him, but the words had jumped out of his mouth before he could stop himself or think twice about it. He knew that Naruto was wrong in saying those things, but Mikoto had always insisted on Sasuke handling things politely and gently, not like this!

Itachi stood up from his seat, put some money on the table to pay for the dango, and headed out of the booth and towards the group standing in the middle of the street. He didn't think Sasuke could handle much more of this right now, and to let this continue like it was could make the shy boy even shyer and make him retreat further into his shell than he had ever been before. Baby steps was what was needed right now. Itachi could see that Sasuke was _this_ close to apologising for his behaviour, and decided that he couldn't have that, so he called out: "Sasuke-kun! Over here!"

The entire group looked surprised at his sudden appearance, the fangirls looking disgruntled – Sakura especially – and Naruto looking away angrily.

Sasuke gazed at Itachi as though the older teen was his saviour. "I-Itachi-san!"

"Welcome back!" Itachi grinned at the young boy. He watched as Sasuke hurriedly made his way through the throng of fangirls and towards him. When the young boy was close enough, Itachi took his backpack and slung it over one shoulder. "Come on! I'll buy you an ice-cream on the way home."

"Wha-? Oh, y-you d-don't have t-to, r-really." The young boy looked down shyly.

The older teen raised an amused eyebrow. "Didn't we already have this conversation, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke blushed slightly. "Sorry."

Itachi laughed and slung a brotherly arm around the smaller boy's shoulders. "Don't worry about it, alright? Now, what flavour do you want?"

"C-could I have a l-lemon sorbet?" Sasuke asked, looking up at his older brother with a small smile. No matter what anyone else thought or said, he was very happy that Itachi was there.

Naruto stared after the two Uchihas walking away, and couldn't help the weird feelings that welled up in him. It was almost as if he was… jealous of the dobe. But that was impossible!

Wasn't it?

**X**

Itachi sighed in annoyance but continued to follow Fugaku. His biological father had insisted on showing him the Konoha Police HQs, and had dragged the teen along.

'_It's too early for this.'_ The younger man yawned. _'Could've waited until later on._'

"Welcome to the Konoha Police HQs, Itachi." Fugaku proclaimed grandly as he led the way through the entrance.

The teenager looked around, and compared it to other police stations he had seen throughout his career, and couldn't find much to be awed or shocked over. It didn't seem any different than any other, and the only thing seemed to be the large lack of arrested criminals. This provoked a raised eyebrow from the teen. He had to admit that it seemed logical that a village full of shinobi had less crime, but still that there were absolutely no thieves, pickpockets or other kinds of perpetrators was unrealistic.

Fugaku continued talking. "Only Uchiha's – or those married into our great clan – work here. This is to make sure that personal conflicts do not hinder good work."

'_Seems the opposite for me,'_ the teen mused silently. _'And you get first dibs on everything. How unfair.'_

"We have been the police force of Konoha for generations, Itachi, and we are proud of it."

'_Too proud.'_ Itachi wanted to say out loud, but didn't. They passed a room where a terrified young woman was explaining her situation to a police officer, and Itachi stopped to listen.

"And they attacked us! They attacked us and took our rice and corn and livestock! And they killed many people, one of them my husband! What are we to do when winter comes?" she sobbed.

"What weapons did the robbers use?" the police officer asked in a somewhat disinterested tone.

"T-these," the woman sniffed and brought out a kunai and a shuriken from the basked by her feet.

The police officer barely bothered to take a look at the weapons, before he gave the verdict. "Some nuke-nin attacked your village. We shall, of course, do our best to find them and make them pay. Now, please sign here, here and here, and then pay the receptionist on the way out. Thank you."

Itachi was frozen solid as the crying young woman hurried past him. _'I have never, in my entire life seen such bad manners or police work! That people have to pay to talk to the police is unacceptable! And the way that man was talking to her it was clearly a total dismissal. He has absolutely no intention of investigating the case! Just because someone uses a kunai and a shuriken to attack someone, it does not mean that the attacker is a nuke-nin – or a shinobi at all!'_

In one room they passed a man was desperately searching for a file that he would most definitely _NOT_ find; the entire room was filled from top to bottoms with files stacked upon each other, not a single filing cabinet in sight. The next room was apparently once an interrogation room, but was now used as another filing room, just as unorganised as the first one. One room was designed as the morgue, but was now used as an extension of the cafeteria that was placed just opposite. One police officer was calmly explaining to a merchant that they did not have enough people to guard said merchant's wares on the market, pointedly ignoring the entire room full of lounging police officers they passed. Another officer was sitting in his office making origami out of reports they had received; and, worst of all, one passing officer was leading a young woman out of the building telling her to 'take her troubles elsewhere. The police force had no time for whores claiming they had been raped just because they had some rough sex.'

The rest of the day was spent in a similar manner, with Itachi receiving shock after shock on just how bad the Konoha Police was organised, just how useless they really were when it came to catching anything else but nuke-nin (everything seemed to be the cause of nuke-nin!), the complete lack of a criminal database that did not involve shinobi, and the horrifying lack CSI-work.

At the end of the day, Itachi fell back onto his bed, simply staring blankly at the ceiling.

'_I am ashamed of being a part of this clan.'_

**X**

Sasuke was practically shaking like a leaf the next day. It was the day of the gennin exams, and the youngest Uchiha was a nervous wreck. What if he didn't make it again and disappointed Itachi and his mother? What if he _did_ make it? What would happen then? Hundreds of these questions flew around his head, making him jumpy and even more nervous. But later on that day he came back with a proud grin, a skip in his step, and a brand new hitai-ate tied around his forehead. He had passed his exams and had been placed on the new Team Seven, his team-mates being Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura.

"O-our t-teacher's Hatake Kakashi!" the young boy declared proudly during dinner.

"Really now?" Fugaku muttered, seeming more interested in his newspaper than what Sasuke had to say.

Itachi ruffled Sasuke's hair. "Great work! Have you met Hatake-san yet?"

Sasuke nodded. "Tomorrow h-he is going to t-test us to s-se i-if we are good-d enough to be-become his t-team."

"That will be cool, I'll bet. Did he tell you what you were doing?"

"H-he said s-something about su-survival training, and n-not to eat b-breakfast be-because we'll only th-throw it up-p again."

Mikoto bit her lip slightly. "Oh dear, do you think that's wise? Not eating breakfast right before a hard work-out?"

"B-bu-but…"

"What Kakashi doesn't know, won't hurt anyone." Itachi grinned, and gave a conspiring wink to Sasuke.

And so it came to pass that Sasuke ate breakfast the next morning before leaving. Itachi spent the morning with Mikoto, telling her of some of his cases with the FBI, and then agreeing to go to the market and buy some fish and some other groceries for the woman. On the way back he took the scenic route and passed the training grounds, only to stop as ha heard someone grumbling and shouting.

'_Well, doesn't this give me a feeling of déjà vu?' _Itachi mused as he followed the sound.

He came to a large clearing that was surrounded by trees to three sides and a river on the fourth. In the middle of the clearing there were three poles of wood driven deep into the ground, and firmly tied to one of said poles of wood was none other than Uzumaki Naruto.

Itachi cocked his head to the side, and smirked. _'Now this is interesting.'_

Naruto looked up when he heard someone approaching, only to groan when he saw Itachi standing in front of him. The two of them stared at each other for a while, until the blonde couldn't take it anymore. "Stop staring at me, you freak!"

Itachi continued to stare emotionlessly.

"Why don't you do something useful for once, and untie me?!"

The black-haired teen didn't move.

"Oh, never mind! Why don't you just go away and do…. _Something_?!" the blonde continued his struggle with the ropes.

Itachi pursed his lips then smirked and walked to the closest bush, and searched for the perfect stick.

Naruto stared after him for a moment, then his eyes widened upon seeing the stick that now rested comfortably in Itachi's hand and the devilish look in those black eyes. "You wouldn't _dare_! Do you have any idea of who I am?! What the hell do you think you are doing?! Don't come near me with that thing!"

Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke – who had been comfortably sitting at Ichiraku's, eating ramen and discussing today's events – were just now returning to the clearing in order to untie Naruto.

"It's not my fault I forgot about him!" the silver-haired, newly-made jounnin-teacher protested.

Sakura gave him an annoyed look. "How could you forget about Naruto-sama?"

Sasuke was just horrified that he had actually forgotten about his team-mate when the entire day had been focused on nothing _but_ the need to stick together.

"You forgot about him too!" Kakashi pointed at Sakura, making the girl blush in shame and anger. "Besides, he's probably been untied already by some passing shinobi, and has already gone home."

"B-but we n-need to ch-check, just in c-case." Sasuke spoke up.

"Of course we do. But this is a rather well-travelled path for shinobi, and anyone normal would have stopped and untied the Hokage's adopted grandson." The jounnin smiled at his two students.

However, the scene they walked in on when they finally reached the clearing, was very much different. Itachi was standing out of Naruto's reach, and was constantly poking the blonde with the stick, ignoring the profanities and curses and whatever else that Naruto shouted at him. The black-haired teen seemed to have the time of his life as he poked the poor Naruto with the stick, a large, maniacal grin on his face. Naruto, on the other hand, was twitching and twisting and growling and doing his best to avoid the Stick from Hell, but the ropes held, and he didn't get far.

Kakashi couldn't help the snicker that escaped him upon seeing this particular scene.

Sakura simply stared in shock, occasionally managing a squeeze out a high-pitched squeak.

Sasuke could actually feel the anime sweat-drop appearing over him, and hid his face in his hands. _'My brother is insane.'_

**X**

There. Sorry about the long wait. Please tell me what you think!

Probably lots of mistakes regarding the Boise National Forest et all, but please bear with it – or chalk it up to creative licence! And to those of you that mentioned it, yes, Itachi is kind of the incredulous voice of the normal person that falls into the '_Naruto'_ world – the kind of reactions that I had upon seeing some of the ideas and theories presented in the anime/manga.

And another thing, I know my presentation of the Konoha police isn't all that realistic, but we don't really know about the workings of it from the manga or the anime, and compared to the resources of the FBI the Konoha police must seem like bumbling rookies. I swear they aren't all like that, only most of them. I apologise to those that do not like this.

As to why Naruto ended up with the Hokage and became the revered person that he is. Well, uhm, there's no real reason for it. I just needed a counterbalance to Sasuke, and I wanted to explore what would happen if Naruto did grow up like that.

Thanks to:

Chibi of Many Names, BasicallyAnIdiot, wingsofeagle, dragonmage27, QueenofHalf-BakedIdeas, alicat54, Beta the Second, Fate, Laughing Cat, Chosha Kurenai, rockleefan, Honebar, borisbear, insanechildfanfic, as, Barranca, SilentWhisperWolf, ElemenTalia, Curlz-Shadow Kitsune, Anne, Kei, CrazyGirlofManyNames, FT, MockV, MKofGod, JustAReader, Devil-Speaker, yllom21, Mou'Ikka, flyer, -charon-, lildevil425, Jetede, kerricarri, celelanther, sn1ck3rD00dle, O, Le, Ola, mione the kneazle,


	11. Chapter 11

**Flip Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** The last chapter's layout has been changed slightly, and I apologise in advance to all the Neji-lovers out there.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter 11**

Shisui delivered one final kick that sent his opponent flying across the training field and into the river, before he sneered. Really, Itachi was such an incredible weakling that it wasn't even fun to beat him up in these 'training sessions'. Honestly, the younger male didn't seem to get the concept of martial arts at all, and simply ran around like a headless chicken and tried to avoid Shisui's attacks. Not that it helped him much seeing as he was always black, blue, yellow and purple by the end of each session.

"_Tch_. He should be glad that I haven't yet broken any of his bones like twigs." Shisui snorted, sending another sneer towards the river. Itachi still hadn't show up, but Shisui wasn't all that worried. Firstly, he had early on experienced that Itachi was surprisingly good at holding his breath and liked to hide under water, and secondly, he quite frankly didn't give a shit about whether his cousin lived or died.

"Weakling." The Uchiha muttered as he left, leaving Itachi to deal with his wounds and get home on his own.

The second Shisui was out of sight of the river, Itachi's head broke the surface and he panted for breath. Luckily the currents of the river were slow and gentle, because Itachi really didn't feel up to yet another fight for life or death. He swam over to the river bank and managed to pull his upper body out of the water, then groaned in pain and stayed like that.

'_Damn, Shisui really did a number on me today.'_ Itachi panted, arm wrapped around his ribs – the area that had taken the brunt force of the kick. It was aching and stinging with every movement, pain flared when he touched it, and the teen was quite sure that though his ribs may not be broken, they were seriously bruised and he would have to take it easy for several days just in case.

With a final heave he managed to get his body entirely out of the water, and collapsed on the ground, leaning against the nearest tree.

"Bugger," he muttered as he gently ran his fingers across his aching ribs. "You know, I could've understood if this was Shisui's way of taking revenge for the stungun-incident, but he already did that early on in these torture sessions. No, something else has brought out his sudden need to kick my arse from here and into the next ice age, and I do believe I know what it is." Itachi continued to mutter to himself both to keep his mind off the pain in his ribs and also to get his thoughts straight.

Deciding there was nothing he could do for his aching ribs except wait until the pain lessened, he sighed tiredly and relaxed against the tree and looked up through the gently swaying leaves and branches at the blue sky. _'He really came close to killing me today. If the guy wasn't so fond of kicking and if I hadn't managed to manoeuvre myself between him and the river, thereby ending up in the conveniently placed body of water when he used said kick he's so fond of… well, I suppose I really would have ended up with either broken ribs or a broken back. Don't think I could've taken yet another violent meet-and-greet with the ground, a rock or the random tree trunk.'_

The atmosphere was incredibly peaceful and slowly the pain in his ribs disappeared, leaving behind a dull ache and a very impressive bruise. But as the slowly pain faded, a dark, devilish smirk appeared on Itachi's face, his narrow eyes flashing dangerously, and finally the teen chuckled darkly.

"Uchiha Shisui, the genius extraordinaire, is feeling threatened by little old me." He muttered, the smirk still in place. _'The fool feels that I am threatening his place in the Uchiha pecking order, and lashes out at me. I doubt even he knows exactly what's up with these new and threatening feelings he is currently feeling, but once he figures it out I will need to watch my back. Despite the fact that he and Naruto are alike in their regard of me, Shisui is capable of so much more than the Hokage's adopted grandson.'_

"I-Itachi-san?"

Itachi blinked and looked around, spotting none other than the shy Hyuuga Hinata coming out of the tree line on the other side of the clearing, and at once his mood and manner shifted back into the familiar, light-hearted one. "Ah, Hinata-chan! Good day to you! Come and sit!"

The girl blushed at the suffix and twiddled with her fingers, but made her way over and sat down with him, shyly looking at the ground. "H-how d-do you l-like your s-stay in Konoha s-so far?" the girl managed to squeak out after sitting a while in silence and realising that no matter how long she waited that Itachi wouldn't speak first.

"Konoha seems like a wonderful village so far, and the people are very kind to me." Itachi replied jovially, sending the girl a smile. Then he winced and gently rubbed his ribs.

Hinata noticed at once, and a worried look settled upon her features. "I-is something wrong? A-are you i-in p-pain?"

"Ah, it's nothing at all, just a bruise from a recent sparring match-slash-torture session with Uchiha Shisui. Hopefully I'll be able to breathe normally again in a couple of hours." He said weakly.

The young girl looked sympathetic, obviously having gone through something similar, and then quickly pulled out a small, round wooden box from her utility pouch and held it out to Itachi. "P-please use th-this. I-it is a b-balm for bruises, and s-should help wi-with the h-healing."

Itachi blinked in surprise again. "But don't you need this yourself? I mean, you're an active gennin now – congratulations on that, by the way – and go on dangerous missions and whatnot, and I assume that the balm is standard gennin equipment. Such a balm would be of more use to you than me."

"N-no, p-please take it. I-I can a-always make m-more." Hinata said quickly and took one of Itachi's hands and firmly placed the balm in his palm. Then she blushed bright red, made some weak excuse and ran off as though the hounds of hell were on her tail.

Doing his blinking-routine for the third time, Itachi simply stared after the shy girl in amusement, then looked down at the small container. "She made this herself, huh? Poor girl probably has no idea what she just blurted out to me." He sighed and painstakingly removed his t-shirt, opened the small box and smiled at the gentle and relaxing aroma of sandalwood. Quickly spreading the balm over the aching area, he sighed happily as the ache finally dulled and disappeared completely. Placing the small container in a pocket and putting his shirt back on, Itachi looked at the sky again.

'_She had a very strong and powerful grip for being such a small and shy girl. And this balm that she made cannot have been easy or the recipe known, otherwise everyone would've been walking around with it and Mikoto would've offered some to me when I returned from my previous torture sessions with Shisui. Hinata made it all on her own.'_ He mused, then shook his head. _'First Sasuke and now Hinata. Honestly, Konoha seems to make a tradition of ignoring those that seem weak.'_

**XI**

As a form of congratulation to himself of surviving yet another torture session with Shisui, Itachi stopped by the closest store that sold pocky on his way back to the Uchiha compound. Not that he really needed a reason to buy pocky. But that would be his official justification when Mikoto pinned him with that 'mother-glare' of hers – the one every child got when they were guilty of doing something they shouldn't be doing, like eating sweets before dinner – and stated, not asked, _stated_ that he hand over the remaining pocky at once or there would be no dinner for him.

'_I think some of that repressed shinobi-ness is showing through, not even Fugaku seems to dare to make her angry.' _Itachi snickered to himself, then he turned serious. _'Then again, Mikoto's so used to being subservient to her husband that I doubt she would protest anything he did. Not at this point at least.'_

Once again he took the long road back to the Uchiha estates, both to avoid spending much time with the Uchihas and also to avoid Mikoto kidnapping his pocky. However, a third reason also made itself known when Itachi noticed that he was being followed by someone. It couldn't be an ANBU seeing as he never noticed those people around despite knowing that they were there, and he doubted it would be a ranked shinobi since even the chunnin-teachers at the Academy had been much better at sneaking around from what he remembered of his one-day visit there.

'_Ergo, it is __either an Academy student, a civilian brat (unlikely), or a gennin.' _Itachi concluded. _'Is this really the best they can do when it comes to following someone? I may not be able to spot them, but their gaze is so intense it is almost burning a hole in my back. Or do they really think that because I am not a shinobi that I will not notice them following me?'_

Though intense, the gaze seemed to hold no real malice, and Itachi decided to wait it out and let his unknown stalker make the next move. Therefore his long trip through the village became even longer. He walked through the market, twice up and down the main street, played a couple of rounds of hopscotch with some of the civilian kids in the civilian residential area, before he finally decided that enough was enough and started heading back towards the Uchiha district. If his stalker didn't want to show himself after being given so many excellent opportunities, then Itachi couldn't be bothered to walk around like an idiot any more.

He was just passing the Konoha public baths, when his stalker finally decided to confront him, and appeared on the street behind him. Itachi calmly turned around and faced the person, promptly raising an eyebrow when he saw none other than Hyuuga Neji standing there.

"Hyuuga." Itachi said as a form of greeting, gazing at the shorter teen emotionlessly.

"Uchiha." Was the equally emotionless reply.

Then there was a long and tense silence, and random passerby's stopped and stared at the two tense and serious teens, wondering if they were about to see a clash between two of Konoha's most powerful clans.

Itachi, on the other hand, was wondering if he would be able to nip into the closest store and buy another pack or two of pocky.

"What did you talk about with Hinata-sama?" Neji finally asked.

"None of your business," the dark-eyed teen deadpanned, his eyes narrowing. "What I and Hinata-chan talk about is none of your business."

"Hinata-_chan_?" he parroted. "Who gave you permission to call Hinata-sama that?"

"She did."

The young Hyuuga sneered. "Over my dead body. I will not allow an _Uchiha_ of all things to call Hinata-sama that, whether he is ANBU or not."

The people that had gathered to watch the scene, whispered to each other and looked awed. Uchiha Itachi was an ANBU operative?! Just how good was the boy that had allegedly grown up in the Outside?! And had he really grown up in the Outside?

Itachi raised an eyebrow. _'ANBU? And what's with the overprotective-but-lacks-real-feeling attitude? The kid takes the protection of Hinata as a duty, and not something one would automatically do for a family member. And while we're at it, how the hell did the kid know about my conversation with Hinata in the first place?'_

"Please take it back and call Hinata-sama by her proper title." Neji said emotionlessly, his eyes narrow and his body ready for a fight.

There was general murmuring from the people that watched this happening, all of them eager to see and hear whatever would happen next. Would the Uchiha – about whom rumours were abundant – do another thing that would amaze them all? Would the young Hyuuga be able to stand up to the Uchiha? The suspense in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Everyone held their breath in anticipation when Itachi lifted his arm and made to punch the younger teen, only to stop barely a hairs breath from the Hyuuga's face.

Neji's reaction was to activate his Byakugan.

But Itachi wasn't done yet. With his arm stretched out he allowed one finger to unfurl and held it up in front of the younger teen, making sure that Neji paid attention to the finger that was now dangerously close to poking his eye out. "Before we continue on with this little dispute of ours, I have just one question for you, Hyuuga."

"What is it, Uchiha?" Neji demanded, bringing his hand down to his thigh-holster, ready for action.

People in the public bath house had also come to watch the scene, some of them dressed, others half-dressed, some walking around in towels, and a few even completely naked. Some of the people were shinobi, and they had been some of the first to notice the heavy atmosphere out in the street, and their interest and reaction to it had brought the others out as well. Now the entire group was standing in the doorway, hanging out of windows or peeking over fences, eager to hear and see what happened.

In the collective opinion of the on-lookers, this scene was way better than any old soap opera.

"You were watching my conversation with Hinata-chan earlier today, were you not?" Itachi inquired, his face emotionless and his black eyes narrow. He was standing so that his side faced Neji, making himself a smaller target, and his other hand was in a lose fist and was slightly bent at the elbow. All in all, Itachi seemed to have adapted a stance that would allow him to both attack and defend.

"Of course." Neji replied, not even bothering to deny it. "It is my duty to protect Hinata-sama, and since you often train with Uchiha Shisui close to my team's training grounds, I keep an eye on you. I always watch you." He added lastly as a veiled threat to keep away from Hinata and Hyuuga's in general.

The older teen's black eyes flashed with some sort of emotion that was gone far too quickly for Neji – the emotionally-stunted person that he was – couldn't quite grasp, and the young Hyuuga settled in the stance of the Jyuuken, ready to attack or defend himself. Would the Uchiha use one of the fire-jutsu that his clan was so famous for, or would he attack with some sort of hidden weapon?

People tensed and some had to remember to breathe.

"You are..." Itachi said, his voice very serious and still pointing at Neji. "You are a _stalker_!"

Several strong gusts of wind flew down the silent street, the watchers wondering what the hell just happened, and Neji himself wondering if he hadn't been wrong about the Uchiha being an ANBU because that statement was just stupid. It wasn't so much the accusation in itself which caused such reactions – after all, Konoha was a village of shinobi and such things as stalking and spying were more or less mandatory! However, what really made this situation different and noteworthy was the _way_ Itachi said it, especially the tone and voice he used, and it made everyone close enough to hear stop up and listen.

"No, that's not-" the Hyuuga began, but was cut off by his opponent.

"I've got you all figured out," Itachi continued, his voice carrying up and down the street. "You try to hide it, but it's obvious that you haven't had much motherly or fatherly contact through your childhood, and you want to experience such closeness. Therefore you have made targets of anyone – or any_thing_, for that matter – that has legs, and take to stalking and spying on them. And who's to blame you? Those Byakugan eyes of yours are perfect for such a thing."

People twitched slightly.

Neji tried to protest again. This was going downhill. Fast. "Now, just wai-"

"It must be very nice to be able to see inside anyone's home and see what they are doing without risking them discovering you. You even admitted it yourself just now, when you said – and I quote – that you 'always watch' me. Heck, for all I know you could be simply pretending to listen to me right now, and really be watching those naked people in the public bath house to our right, or undressing our audience with those eyes of yours." The black-eyed teen cut in again.

The watching shinobi narrowed their eyes, noting that, yes, Neji still had his Byakugan activated.

"I have neve-" Neji was getting really nervous now.

"But to spy on your own family like that, is not right. In fact, it's called incest, and is illegal in most countries." The FBI-agent fixed the younger teen with an intense look. "So, bottom line is that you, young Hyuuga, are a _stalking_ _pervert_!"

Those two words – 'stalking pervert' – had been the magic phrase to unlock the shackles of the angry beast, and the people that had been watching this entire rendezvous emitted an incredibly dense cloud of killer intent and seemed to focus it all on the poor Hyuuga. Fathers and brothers who had daughters and sisters and wives, all suddenly imagined just how convenient those Byakugan eyes really were, and in just what kind of scenarios other than missions those eyes could be used, and none of them liked it. At all. And it wasn't much better with the women that were around.

Itachi wisely and silently inched out of the picture and managed to take cover in a small alley. Not a second later Neji ran past with a large, thoroughly pissed-off group of people on his heels, promising death upon the young teen in a hundred different ways.

'_Poor boy, but it's his own fault. __Honestly__, stalking me throughout the day and then demanding that I give up my friendship with Hinata-chan just on principle. And especially without really caring what happens to Hinata-chan in the first place, which is unforgivable.'_ Peeking out of his hiding place and down the street, the black-eyed teen snickered. _'Hum, I wonder just how much I managed to damage the Hyuuga Clan's reputation with this little stunt. Either way, the reactions will be interesting.'_

**XI**

Tenten and Lee – who had come along with Neji as a sort of backup, but mostly to observe the fascinating mystery known as Uchiha Itachi – practically winced when they felt the killing intent coming from the crowd down on the street, and made a quick and wise decision to retreat back to their usual training grounds and wait for Neji to show up there. Yes, they were friends and team-mates, but there was no way in hell either one of them would try to help the Hyuuga against such a pissed-off crowd of people.

It wasn't until twilight settled over Konoha that a completely exhausted Hyuuga Neji finally showed up, panting and leaning against a tree trunk, and with small scratches and scrapes and bruises in all colours of the rainbow all over.

"So..." Tenten handed Neji something to drink. "Did your plan to find out new things about Uchiha Itachi work the way you wanted it to? Did you learn something new about him?"

"Yeah, were your Fires of Youth able to match Itachi-san's?" Lee added his two cents in.

Neji took another few moments to really catch his breath, and sighed tiredly. "That guy is far too good, I didn't learn anything new about him at all. With one single, short question he turned the situation around and in favour of himself, and he managed to turn my own words against me. And thusly he also easily and elegantly avoided any and all physical confrontation, and I wasn't able to test his skills for myself. If there ever was any doubt that he is ANBU, it would have been totally removed by today's happenings."

Lee looked slightly worried. "You don't think that he might try to take revenge on you?"

Tenten scowled at the green-clad boy. "Lee, think about it a bit, will you? If Uchiha Itachi wanted to take revenge, then he would have already done so."

"But-"

"THERE YOU ARE, MY THREE YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!"

Their teacher's booming voice made all three of the teens jump around to face the man.

Maito Gai pointed at Neji. "I HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE REVELATIONS THAT CAME OUT TODAY, NEJI, AND HAVE DECIDED TO HELP YOU WORK THROUGH THESE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS YOU HAVE ABOUT YOUR YOUNGER COUSIN – AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!"

"Gai-sensei! You are so kind!" Lee exclaimed, his eyes full of hero-worship.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

Tenten had started to massage her temples in a futile attempt to drive off the impending headache.

Neji looked ready to do something very out of character, and run in the opposite direction in order to get away. _'This is all Uchiha Itachi's fault.' _

**XI**

How does one spy on two top-notch shinobi that one lives with, and without having said shinobi discover you and kick your arse into the next ice age?

Shisui being one of the top-notch shinobi in question, would definitely be able to hear, smell, or sense anyone in the entire house, and would definitely be able to discern if they were awake or asleep and so on and so forth. And with Fugaku being the other shinobi in this equation, things just got a lot worse.

Itachi, being the one that did the spying on this occasion, knew all this very well, and was definitely not eager to have another meeting with Shisui's more than excellent martial arts skills. Especially considering the fact that Shisui was already annoyed enough at him, and the fact that this time the shinobi might actually pull out some of those sharp, pointy kunai and shuriken of most certain doom, and use them on poor, defenceless Itachi as he had threatened more than once during their, ahem, training sessions. As for Fugaku, well, the man could certainly talk off the ears of a donkey, so Itachi wasn't really eager to be discovered by him either.

So, with all that in mind, how could a normal person spy on a shinobi?

The answer was simple: one couldn't. It was impossible.

'_Nothing is impossible, it is simply improbable.'_ Itachi mused to himself as he lay in bed, a smirk playing across his lips. _'I wonder what those two are talking about down there, they both seemed tense from dinner onwards.'_

And it was true. When Itachi had returned that day, being just in time for dinner, he had at once noticed the tense atmosphere that had formed between Fugaku and Shisui. That set off alarms in the young FBI agent's head and, though playing oblivious to the silent byplay; he had kept a sharp eye on them both throughout the rest of the evening. But nothing happened, and one by one people had retreated upstairs and into bed. Itachi, who had been sitting in the living room with Shisui (who was reading some scroll), had been forced to look up when Fugaku hovered over him.

"Yes?" he had asked, and had looked up at his biological father, giving away no sign of his suspicions.

"It's late. Go to bed." Fugaku ordered.

For a moment Itachi had been tempted to demand why Fugaku wasn't ordering Shisui up to bed, but had decided that it wasn't necessary at all, and had instead stretched and yawned before he stood up. He bid the two men a good night and had gone upstairs, done his business in the toilet and promptly gone to bed – which was where he was right now.

'_Except with the difference that it is now morning instead of night,' _Itachi added mentally, his eyes flashing deviously in the light from the window.

He waited for another hour or so before he got out of bed, got dressed and went downstairs. As usual Mikoto was busy cooking breakfast, Fugaku was buried behind the morning paper, Shisui was eating his breakfast and Sasuke was yet not there having, once again, overslept. Itachi gratefully accepted the breakfast that Mikoto handed him, watched in amusement as the whirlwind known as Sasuke came and went, and then barely kept himself from rolling his eyes when Fugaku and Shisui made their usual degrading comments on the morning routine.

"Itachi," Fugaku suddenly spoke up, and looked at the aforementioned teen over his paper. "I found that little contraption of yours, that _cell phone_, last night in that chair you occupied."

"Ah, good, I was starting to wonder where it went." Itachi grinned happily.

The Uchiha Clan Head snorted and went back to his paper. "Be more careful with your things, boy. It must've slipped out of your pocket, lord knows it is probably with the undignified way you sit."

"I like the way I sit."

"There was a small red light blinking on it," the man went on and refused to pay any heed to the comment. "I simply put the useless contraption on the coffee table."

Itachi wasn't deterred from his cheerfulness, and grinned. "Thanks!"

"Hn."

After this conversation breakfast went quickly and people soon dispersed, with Itachi stopping by the living room to pick up his cell phone, before he left the house and went to one of the locations where he had previously had sparring sessions with Shisui, settled down against a tree trunk, and pulled out his cell phone again.

'_Fugaku really thought that I really lost and forgot my cell?' _he snorted. _'Highly unlikely seeing as a cell phone is very important in my line of work – heck, it's important to the entire human population! Really, what does that man take me for, a complete idiot?'_

He opened the cell and started to shift through the menu.

'_Well, the joke's on him since he didn't ask anything about the cell further than it being a compressed telephone. And therefore it's obvious that neither he nor Shisui would__ know about this little beauty's added features – one of which is a very useful recording camera.'_ Itachi finally found the file he had been looking for, and smirked again. _'Now, let's see what Fugaku and Shisui talked about last night after they sent everyone else to bed.' _

**XI**

There, done. Please tell me what you think.

Uhm, I'm not really sure about just how good cameras on mobile phones are or how much they can record, but for the sake of this fic lets say that it's good enough for what I have planned. Call it creative licence if that makes you feel better.

There was a reason for those flashbacks! Really, there is! It's not just the author trying to fill pages with random words in order to have longer chapters. Nope, not at all.

I apologise for my butchering of the Japanese language. I have in mind to take an official class instead of trying to learn it from manga and anime, but that won't be for a while yet, so you will simply have to torture yourself through it I'm afraid.

Yes, I watch many crime-shows on tv, amongst those being NCIS, Criminal Minds, Bones, Numb3rs and The Closer.

Thanks to:

Devil-Speaker, BasicallyAnIdiot, kerricarri, rockleefan, wingsofeagle, dragonmage27, cresent rain, FT, Beta the Second, Honebar, lildevil425, Morrolan, SnickyPop, O, Chosha Kurenai, Celelanthir, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Kei, chintsuuzai, Barranca, weeeeeee, xXxKIxXx, yumeniai, HolyKnight5, SwordsMagician, ddasfasd32532q, dark saiya, bookluver101, Curlz-Shadow Kitsune, insanechildfanfic, Airily, Lady Sardonyx, The Sleeping Creature, QueensKin, Keacan the Weird, Belle, JustReview'n, Haru Inuzuka, Amrita Kamikaze, sesshoumaru4me, greatstars, and Shadow-of-Roses.


	12. Chapter 12

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I apologise for the long wait, but – as all students know – exams will catch up with you sooner or later, and mine have set in with a vengeance to rival the gods.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter 12**

The cell phone had been placed rather hidden between the pillows – but not so hidden that it became suspicious – and therefore there was absolutely no picture, and the sound (though good enough to clearly hear what was said) was low and a bit metallic. Itachi simply shrugged it off. Hey, he couldn't have everything, right? In fact, he was rather surprised that this little stunt had pulled through at all, let alone that it had pulled through as well as it had.

'_Heaven bless little high-tech gadgets. The worst that can happen is that the phone shuts off due to loss of power, and I have to wait a few hours before I listen in on Shisui and Fugaku's, ah, __**secret**__ conversation.'_ Itachi mused to himself as he waited for the correct file to open. Since it was rather large, and also since there was little power in the cell's batteries, it would take some time to open, and the quality would be somewhat reduced. To keep other people from overhearing what was recorded the teen pulled out a pair of small, black earphones and put them on. It wouldn't do to have successfully managed to spy on Fugaku and Shisui, and then having a random passer-by report said spying to said people. It would defeat the whole purpose of it.

Finally the file opened, and Itachi concentrated fully on the low sounds that came from the cell phone.

At first there were long minutes of silence, occasionally broken by low shuffling sounds or the sounds of a page being turned over, and then finally the conversation started.

"Why is he still here?" Shisui's voice was emotionless. "He is not a fighter, he acts disgustingly and drags the name of our clan through the mud every day, and he uselessly spends time with Sasuke trying to help the boy 'see the light', as it were. He has hung after Aunt Mikoto like a lost puppy, he is weak as a newborn babe, and he had managed to insult the Hyuuga Clan, disrupting the delicate truce we have with them. Why do you not send him home?"

"Itachi is still my son." Fugaku's voice was cold and hard.

"He is useless."

"And yet, despite all his glaring deficiencies and lacks, he is the only one who has managed to successively bring down both you and Hatake in the span of two days."

Shisui wasn't happy being reminded of that, which was made clear by his freezing voice. "We have spent the last 17 years looking for a useless tool."

"He became a tokubetsu shinobi on his third day here in Konoha, and had a mission right off the bat. Not even you can boast to such a feat, Shisui. Itachi is also surprisingly close to the Hokage and that can work in our favour."

"We cannot control him!" Shisui hissed as he stood up angrily. "He will never do what you ask of him."

"We can and we will. At the very least, we have Sasuke as leverage." Fugaku spoke with certainty. "Do not worry, nephew, Itachi will soon be brought to heel, he will become yet another link between the clan and the village."

There were sounds of quiet footsteps, and then the creak of the first step on the staircase that led to the second floor. "Somehow, I do not think that Itachi will be easy to control if you can control him at all." Shisui's voice was emotionless again. "If you will excuse me, uncle, I shall retire to my bed."

"Aa." Came Fugaku's agreement, and that was that.

Itachi listened to the conversation another couple of times, before he shut the phone off, put it in his pocket, and leaned back against the tree, looking up through the branches and leaves. What he had heard didn't really bode well for him and his future in Konoha.

'_Fugaku still thinks that he can gain control of me and turn me into an obedient little tool or pet, and make me spy on the Hokage or some such nonsense, and he has no scruples about using Sasuke to achieve this end. Probably has nothing against using Mikoto as well, if he thinks it will help. The great Uchiha Clan my arse.'_ Itachi snorted in disgust and then sighed. _'The worst of this, however, seems to be that Shisui has consciously recognised me as a true threat to his position, and now – after speaking with Fugaku about me and not getting the desired answers – he will most likely step up his little one-man-campaign against me. I seriously need to start watching my back around that guy from now on.'_

With yet another deep sigh, the teenager got to his feet and started to walk slowly in along a random path, in no particular hurry to get anywhere, and letting his mind churn and analyze the conversation he had been privy to.

'_Things are abou__t to get annoyingly complicated, just as I feared.'_

**XII**

Itachi wasn't really sure how long he simply spent sitting in that one place, but he decided it was time to get moving when the ANBU babysitter that the Hokage had assigned to him actually allowed themselves to be seen in the shadows of one of the trees. Sure, it was only a short flash of the white-and-red mask, and it happened so fast that Itachi would've written it off as a trick of the light if it hadn't been for the fact that he had been living for nearly two months in a village full of shinobi that could do some crazy shit. Therefore he put the cell phone and the earphones away in one of his pockets, got to his feet and started walking in a random direction. His luck stuck with him and he was soon walking along one of the more used paths that led from the training grounds and to the village.

'_And lo and behold! Who else should be on the same path other than my very own little brother?'_ Itachi grinned as he spotted Sasuke just up ahead, and hurried on to walk beside the younger boy. "Yo!"

Sasuke looked up in slight surprise at the greeting, but then smiled slightly and replied with a shy, "Hello."

"Say, how about we sneak off in a very shinobi-like manner and attack that ice-cream parlour over there, and kidnap some of said ice-cream?" The older teen grinned, never betraying anything. Sasuke didn't need to know what his father and elder cousin planned, not yet.

The younger of the two hesitated. "B-but what ab-about dinner?"

"It's still a couple of hours off so one ice-cream shouldn't make any difference."

Sasuke hesitated for only a second more, before he grinned and hurried over to the ice-cream parlour forcing Itachi to run along to keep up. The youngest Uchiha had become extraordinary fond of ice-cream lately, but that wasn't because of the numerous flavours – not completely, anyway. Mostly it was because this was something special reserved for only him and Itachi, and Sasuke wanted to keep it like that.

"Y-you're sl-slow." He teased his older brother when Itachi caught up with him.

Itachi blinked in surprise at the thoroughly unexpected teasing, then grinned like a loon and promptly gave Sasuke a poke on the tip of his nose. "It's not my fault you shinobi are so freakishly fast and strong." He turned to the amused man behind the counter and placed their orders, then turned back to Sasuke. "How do you do that anyways? I'm pretty sure it goes against some laws of physic the way shinobi move so fast, jump so high and far."

"Oh, uhm, w-we utilize o-our chakra to b-boost our m-muscles." Sasuke replied. "I-it's one of t-the first things we l-learn in the Academy a-after chakra c-control."

Itachi mulled over this as the two took their ice-creams, paid and then headed to a small table in the shadow of the parlour. "Hmm. Smart, I must admit. This way your muscles get used to the strain of chakra and you build up your chakra reserves so much so that when on a real mission you automatically use chakra enhancement on your muscles with minimal chakra loss. Am I right?"

Sasuke nodded, enjoying his ice-cream. "S-still, w-we need to b-be careful ab-about how much ch-chakra we use, es-especially in the beginning l-like now."

"Of course." Itachi nodded in understanding, then he decided to change the subject. "Anyways, how was your day today? Any cool missions? Did you chase that cat around again? Or was it something else? No! I know! You finally got to guard a really cute princess and saved her from almost certain doom and death, and were awarded with a great big statue of yourself!"

Sasuke couldn't help but chuckle. Every day after finishing training and missions with his team he was bombarded with questions by Itachi, the 17-year-old always coming up with ridiculous missions like rescuing princesses, going treasure hunting, and such. And the few times Fugaku had tried to regale them with one of Shisui's grand missions, Itachi had proclaimed that he had no interest in those missions. This was weird, Sasuke thought, since Shisui's missions were much more interesting than the missions Sasuke was doing. I mean, there was only so many times that a guy could take hearing about the favourite cat of the Fire Lord's wife.

"Well?" Itachi demanded and gently poked Sasuke on his hitai-ate.

"Ah, uhm, we walked th-the dogs again." The younger Uchiha hurried to answer, a slight blush on his face. "A-and we painted a f-fence."

Itachi nodded as if this was the most important thing in the world. "I hope you painted it artistically?"

Sasuke sent the other a look over his ice-cream, and stated almost dully, "It was white."

"Can't get more artistic than that." Came the quip.

The younger of the two rolled his eyes, but smiled. Itachi was _weird_. Which brought Sasuke to a subject he didn't know how to approach. He wanted to know more about Itachi himself, but he was always too shy to ask, and he never could find the right words. Or someone would show up and interrupt just when Sasuke managed to get his courage screwed together. But Itachi would soon leave to go back to the other world, and who knew when Sasuke would get another chance to get to know his elder brother.

Itachi was well aware of Sasuke's wishes and troubles, but he didn't say or do anything to help the boy along. Nope, this was something Sasuke had to overcome on his own, and it would happen when it happened. Instead the FBI-agent kept on babbling about anything and all that fell to mind, going so far as to remark on the weather and the forecast for the upcoming week. And though it was a rather desperate and somewhat pathetic attempt at hauling out the time, it seemed to work, and Itachi's patience was finally rewarded.

"Uhm, I-Itachi-san?"

"Yes?" he smiled and waited, making sure to eat his rather runny ice-cream as slow as possible, giving Sasuke all the time the younger boy needed.

"I-if I c-could... I m-mean..." Sasuke took a deep breath to calm himself, and tried again. "C-could you t-tell me a-about your work a-at the FBI? I-I mean, y-you a-already kno-know so much ab-about u-us shinobi a-and we k-know n-nothing-!"

Itachi cut Sasuke off by covering the younger boy's mouth with a hand, and bringing a finger to his own lips in the universal shush-sign. His black eyes were twinkling with gentle amusement, and he smiled slightly. "There is no need to justify your question, Sasuke-kun. All you had to do was simply ask. I may tell you that I will answer now or later, I may say that I will not answer, but I will never ignore you or your questions."

Sasuke blushed slightly, but didn't avert his eyes when Itachi removed his hand. "Will you?" he asked instead.

"Of course, just ask away about anything." Itachi nodded, the smile still in place on his face. _'As if I'm going to say no to the first thing you've ever asked me without me having to steer the conversation. First teasing and now asking! You're making fast progress, little brother.'_

The younger teen spent a minute in silence, eating his ice-cream and wondering exactly what to ask and basking slightly in the feeling of warmth that spread now that he knew he could ask anything and would always get some form of answer. "Uhm, c-could you tell m-me something of y-your j-job as a profiler? Wh-what is that, e-exactly?"

"In essence profiling is a method of identifying the perpetrator of a crime based on an analysis of the nature of the offence and the manner in which it was committed." Itachi explained.

"S-so you c-can tell if a p-perpetrator has brown hair?" Sasuke asked.

"Not at all, that is up to the forensic work and the crime scene investigators." He shook his head. "But I can probably tell you why the perpetrator chooses that location, why the victim was placed in such and such position, and what drove the perpetrator to do the crime. I can also probably tell you what kind of childhood the unsub – that is, 'unknown subject' which is another name for 'perpetrator' – what kind of childhood they had, approximately what age-group they are, if they are male or female (though this is a bit more risky), and what kind of personality they have. Heck, I could tell you if they have a stuttering disorder or not." Itachi watched Sasuke closely. He had brought in the stuttering on purpose, and now he wanted to see the younger one's reaction.

As for Sasuke, he suddenly felt as though the conversation had abruptly changed from innocent questions to something...well, not boding well for him. "S-stuttering?"

Itachi nodded. "Stuttering. A seemingly simple speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions and prolongations of sounds, syllables, words or phrases, and involuntary pauses or blocks where the stutterer is unable to produce sound. There are, of course, many other speech disorders which have symptoms that resemble stuttering, so it is often difficult to say what has caused the stuttering. Was it something developed from early on when the person was a babe? Is it spasmodic dysphonia where the muscles of the larynx move involuntarily? Or is it simply a form of social anxiety disorder?"

Sasuke suddenly felt a shiver or fright for some strange reason. "Y-you m-must know a l-lot ab-about the human mind then, I-Itachi-san?"

"I do not know about the human mind, I know about the human psyche. Those are different things." Itachi suddenly grinned and gobbled down the last of his ice-cream cone. "Ah! I tell you, Sasuke-kun, the ice-cream in Konoha is one of the best I've ever eaten."

"A-ah, h-hai." Sasuke finished his own ice-cream as well.

The elder of the two stood up and stretched. "Shall we head back to the house, then?"

"Hai." He was quick to follow Itachi into the sunshine. The dangerous feeling was gone from the air.

Itachi suddenly stopped up and whirled around to face Sasuke. "Do you think I'd be able to smuggle pocky into the house before dinner, without Mikoto-san catching me?"

The smaller one sighed. "Okaa-sama w_-will_ catch y-you. A-again."

"One never knows until one tries!" he declared grandly, grabbed a hold of Sasuke's wrist and dragged the poor boy towards the closest shop that sold pocky.

"Y-you have n-never managed to sm-smuggle anything p-past okaa-sama!" Sasuke protested. "H-how m-many times do y-you have to t-try before y-you give up?"

Itachi sent a devil-may-care grin over his shoulder. "I will try and try until I succeed! Giving up is not an option!"

Sasuke found himself dragged into the store, dragged through the store on the 'Hunt for the Elusive To-Be-Smuggled-Pocky' – as Itachi had named it – through the cash register and through the village all the way back to the Uchiha Sector. And when Mikoto did notice the pocky and took it away and Itachi pouted rather comically, vowing one day to manage to smuggle pocky into the house before dinner, Sasuke couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him.

But in the back of his mind a thought had taken shape. He wasn't afraid that Itachi would hurt him in any way, but that day he had gained a healthy respect for the other's razor-sharp mind and analytical abilities, getting a glimpse of just how dangerous Itachi could be when he put his mind to it.

**XII**

Itachi frowned slightly as he stood with his little brother by the eastern gates of Konoha. Sasuke's team had gotten a C-class mission to protect a bridge builder named Tazuna, and were travelling to a village in the Land of Waves – a journey that would take them almost two weeks, and that was if nothing unexpected happened.

Sasuke had been ecstatic to finally do something else other than D-rank missions and your usual, manual chores, and he had eagerly packed his backpack, meticulously choosing each and every object that he was going to bring. And while Sasuke had had his hands full with that, Itachi had nipped out to the Konoha library to do some research on the Land of Waves. He had – with his minimal knowledge of hiragana and katakana – painstakingly made his way through a short article on the land itself, and then through several articles from the newspapers. And though he'd had to guess at a lot of what was written in the articles, and ask the librarian for help occasionally, he had been rather disconcerted about what he had read.

'_Or, rather, not read.__ The Land of Waves was mentioned fairly often as a big part of the export/import industry until about a year ago, from what I can gather. The articles then get extremely rare and few between and only mention shortly something about rising deaths on this island nation, warning people about a possible epidemic. It does not add up.'_ Itachi thought to himself, looking at Sasuke who stood beside him. The boy was practically jumping around, eager to be on his way, and for the first time in his life to travel to another country.

"I-is something wr-wrong?" Sasuke asked when he noticed that the elder teen was watching him.

"Will you promise me to be very careful on this mission, and keep your eyes and ears open?"

The younger Uchiha blinked in surprise. Though Itachi always told him to be careful during missions, there was something different in the older teen's voice this time. "O-of c-course, b-but why?"

"I looked up the Land of Waves in the library, and something I read – or didn't read – smells fishy." Itachi sighed. "And also your description of Tazuna-san's reaction to meeting Team Seven has me bothered. There is simply something wrong with it all."

"Is t-that why you p-put on y-your hitai-ate a-and came with me?" Sasuke asked curiously. "Y-you want t-to profile T-Tazuna-san?"

Itachi smiled slightly. "I would have come with you to see you off no matter what, but it is an added bonus if I can observe your client for myself."

"W-what did y-you find o-out in the library?"

"Something about a sudden isolation of the island nation about a year back, and once something about someone named Garo or Gado or something like that. Either way, the lack of information troubles me."

Sasuke nodded and frowned slightly. "Th-then I will be extra careful." He said seriously, and stopped bouncing around. Instead he stood right beside Itachi, and unconsciously copied the elder teen's pose and thoughtful manner. Shinobi and civilians that passed thought that the family resemblance between the two never had been clearer than right then, some found it even somewhat cute.

Haruno Sakura – being the second person of Team Seven to show up – found it to be somewhat disconcerting when she spotted the two of them. Itachi was once again dressed up in the sleeve-less, ANBU-like zip-up vest, black pants and a pair of black ninja-sandals that he had taken to wearing not too long after arriving in Konoha. His black clothes, hitai-ate and black hair made his skin seem rather pale and stand out, and all over it gave him a rather... dangerous feel. And Sasuke didn't look nervous or shy for once, but for the first time in the time she had known him, he seemed focused and like a real shinobi.

And it made her heart skip a beat.

'_ARRGH!! What am I thinking?!'_ she raged to herself, shaking her head wildly. _'It's just the dead-last, spineless weakling with his equally stupid brother!'_

Itachi looked up when he heard approaching footsteps, only to look away again when he noticed whom it was. _'She's still too focused on being pretty rather than useful, I see. Her hair's too long, her clothes are too hindering, and her overall colour-scheme practically screams at anyone to make her a target.'_

Sasuke greeted Sakura though not as shyly as he usually would have, and then he lapsed back into a comfortable silence with his older brother. To Sakura, the silence made her twitchy and uncomfortable, but she didn't dare break it to what she would've normally done and tease the oh-so-shy Uchiha with said Uchiha's older brother around. So they spent another twenty minutes in silence before Tazuna showed up and broke the ice that seemed to have formed.

"Yo. Where's the rest of your brat-team?" Tazuna demanded, a sake-jug clutched in one hand and a backpack on his back. Then he turned to Itachi. "And who's this? A tag-along?"

'_Now, is it just me or did he sound slightly hopeful?_' Itachi mused to himself. "I am not joining you on your mission, Tazuna-san. I have come only to bid my little brother luck on his first mission out of the country."

"Little brother?" Tazuna looked from Sasuke to Itachi a few times, before he smiled. "You really do look alike! You sure you don't want to come along? You know, help the boy along on his first scary mission and all that?"

The elder Uchiha's eyes suddenly narrowed and sharpened and focused solely on the poor bridge builder. "'Scary', huh? A very interesting choice of words, Tazuna-san. Should we be worried?"

The elderly bridge builder rubbed the back of his neck, and managed to chuckle with a slightly forced and nervous undercurrent in his voice. "Hahaha! You shinobi are way too twitchy about such things!" he motioned dismissively with the hand that held the sake-jug.

Itachi raised an eyebrow, but held his peace. Sasuke had followed the conversation carefully and, remembering the conversation about profiling and such he had had with the older teen not long ago, narrowed his eyes speculatively as he gazed upon the bridge builder. Sakura looked from one to the other, and wondered if there was really something else going on or if Itachi was simply messing with Tazuna the same way he had with Sakura in that alley.

Naruto showed up not too long afterwards, frowning when he noticed Itachi there, and stood a good three feet away from the rest of the group, looking for all the world like he was pouting in Itachi's opinion. Kakashi, of course, was the last to show up – fifteen minutes late – and they wasted another five minutes listening to Sakura rant and rave at the silver-haired shinobi for said lateness.

"Maa, maa, Pinky-chan, calm down." Kakashi smiled behind his mask, barely keeping himself from chuckling when the girl hissed and spat like a cat at the horrible nickname. Then the man turned to Itachi and motioned the younger male to follow him slightly away from the others. "You look worried." He stated at once, leaning closer as if to show Itachi something in the newest member of the 'Icha Icha' series which he had pulled out of his pocket.

"This again?!" Itachi growled but pretended interest in the porn-book. "Did some quick research on the Land of Waves. It doesn't look good."

"And what did you find out?" Kakashi inquired curiously as he turned a page in the book, and pointed at a very... _descriptive_ picture.

"It's rather what I didn't find out." He ignored the picture, and looked the silver-haired shinobi straight into the one visible eye. "You certainly know more about this than me. Should I be worried?"

Kakashi stared back for a moment, then closed the orange book and put it away again. "Probably not, but I will keep a sharp lookout, and will not hesitate to call for back-up if need be."

"Come on! Hurry it up! You two perverts can indulge later when we return from this mission!" Naruto suddenly shouted to them, proving that even Rookies of the Year three years running could be impatient sometimes.

"Hai, hai."

The two of them walked back to the waiting group, and together they headed towards the gate where the four shinobi signed out in the log with the guards. Itachi grabbed a hold of Sasuke's shoulder just as the younger boy was passing him, and leaned closer to his ear to make sure no one overheard. "Remember what we talked about, and be careful."

"Hai." Sasuke nodded, a serious expression on his face, and then he ran to catch up with his team-mates.

Itachi watched them until they disappeared around a bend in the road, and then he turned and headed back into the village. _'I have a bad feeling about this.'_

**XII**

"There are five different types of chakra," Mikoto explained as she worked on dinner. "Fire, water, earth, wind and lightning. All jounnin make use of at least two different types of chakra, in fact, it is a requirement if you are to advance in rank from chunnin to jounnin. We test what kind of elemental affinity a shinobi has by using a paper made from a tree that naturally feeds off chakra, and through the results we can figure out what kind of jutsu to teach you."

Itachi sat at the low table, carefully listening to the woman's explanations. The days had passed, and it was two weeks since Sasuke had left for his C-class mission to Land of Waves. The young FBI-agent – to occupy his time and to keep out of Fugaku and Shisui's way as much as possible – had taken to following Mikoto around almost like a puppy and asking the woman to explain this and that to him. So here he was, getting a deeper lesson in chakra.

"The Uchiha Clan usually has the fire chakra," Mikoto continued. "Kakashi-san, on the other hand, is of the lightning type."

"Fascinating," the teen admitted. "Sasuke told me that shinobi use chakra to enhance their muscles for more speed or strength."

Mikoto nodded and sent a smile to him over her shoulder. "Yes, that is true. Some people, those with exceptional control, can hold on to an object and form chakra around it into razor-sharp knives, and the healers use chakra scalpels."

"Handy. You always have a weapon with you."

"As long as your chakra supply doesn't run out, yes. The Land of Snow has managed to come up with a device to sap a prisoner's chakra, but I heard that it had to be in direct contact with you to be able to do that."

Itachi nodded. "Chakra sure seems useful. Is it what allows shinobi to run up walls or even upside down? I've seen a couple of those things around the village."

She nodded again. "Mhm. It is difficult to walk upside down or walk vertically up a wall, but with training we can push chakra through our soles and stick to the wall or tree or cliff-face or whatever it is we're attempting to climb. However, the soles of the feet are the most difficult place to control our chakra, so it takes time. The usual training is to walk up and down trees until we get the hang of it and build our chakra reserves, and then the next step is to learn how to walk on water."

Itachi blinked in surprise. "Walk on water?!" he parroted.

"You must gather chakra at the soles of your feet and constantly feed the appropriate amount into the water. The release of the chakra must mach the weight of the body in order to stay afloat. It is more difficult since water is not solid and is constantly moving. But too much chakra and you will lose your balance and too little and you will sink – just like with the vertical walking."

"That's just weird." The teen muttered and shook his head. Sure, humans could float in the water when lying on their backs, but there the surface on which their weight was distributed was larger.

Mikoto put whatever she was making in the oven, and then sat down at the table across from Itachi. "I guess it seems like that for someone not used to it," she said gently, a small, amused smile on her face. "Do not worry about it too much, Itachi-kun, tell me rather what you wish to eat on your last day here with us. I need to start making it since you leave the day after tomorrow."

"What? Oh, no, I don't want to bother you!" Itachi protested.

She waved him off. "I want to do it. Think of it as thanks for helping Sasuke to break out of his shell."

Itachi chuckled in embarrassment and gave in to the woman, though he made sure not to choose something too difficult or too time-consuming despite Mikoto's insistence. His time in Konoha and with the Uchiha Clan was finally over, and though he wasn't too happy about leaving without having the chance to say goodbye to Sasuke, there was nothing he could do about it.

When the day came, an escort of two ANBU picked Itachi up from the Uchiha Sector before the sun had even risen on the horizon, and they set out on the three-day trek back to the cave to use those weird teleport-scroll-thingies to send Itachi back to the other world. Itachi recognised the two ANBU as two of those that had been in the group that had brought him to Konoha in the first place, and he was eternally amused by their puzzlement over exactly how he told them apart.

With no Fugaku to snarl and bark and push them on, the journey took a wee bit longer than expected, and they decided to camp in the foothills below the mouth of the cave, and send Itachi home in the morning at first light. The two ANBU quickly set up a camp, one staying with Itachi while the other made rounds and acted as a guard, and Itachi even pulled out his guitar and played a few low melodies.

"So you do know melodies other than those ghastly, annoying ones from last time." The tiger-masked ANBU that stayed with him remarked.

Itachi simply looked innocently at him. "I have no idea what you are talking about. And if my music the last time seemed annoying, then it was no fault of my own."

The ANBU chuckled and would've said something else if a sound hadn't caught his attention. He tensed slightly and looked into the trees. "Something's coming." He said simply and quietly.

The black-haired teen packed away his guitar, but otherwise kept calm, though his hand didn't stray far from his trusty stun-gun. Both he and the ANBU relaxed when the one who stepped through was their other companion stepped through the foliage. What did surprise them was that he was followed by yet another ANBU, his cat-mask actually having green colourings.

"Yamato-_sencho_!" the tiger-masked one saluted quickly. "What brings you here?"

The newcomer simply nodded to the man, and then focused on Itachi. "I bring a message for you from the Hokage."

"Huh? Me?" the teenager blinked in surprise, a sudden dread taking root in his stomach.

"It concerns Uchiha Sasuke," the man said in a serious voice.

Itachi had to force himself to speak. "Yes? What is the message?"

"As of noon the day before yesterday, Uchiha Sasuke and the entire Team Seven are considered MIA."

**XII**

There, done. Please tell me what you think.

**_Sencho_** - captain

I just found out that Itachi was killed by Sasuke, and that he gave Sasuke all his Mangekyou jutsus before he croaked. I don't like that. Itachi is an evil bastard and wouldn't do such a thing, not that Sasuke would be able to kill him in the first place. Therefore, I have lost a lot of what little respect I had remaining for Kishimoto-sensei, and am in complete denial about that. Just a warning for future reference – as if I haven't screwed up the story enough as it is...

This story is scaring me. It is actually gaining a worthwhile plot! :shiver shiver shiver:

A reviewer sent me a virtual box of pocky which I wanted to share with you, but stupid me managed to delete it and doesn't show it correctly. :cries in corner of eternal doom:

Thanks to:

Keacan The Weird, The-Living-Shaodw, Honebar, RoxasIsReal13, Kiriei, RozenMaiden14, bookluver101, wingsofeagle, karricarri, RobotPirateNinja, lildevil425, Morrolan, O, Chiichobi, BasicallyAnIdiot, Sakura Lisel, Kuno-Baby, MKofGod, SnickyPop, greatstars, Sony Boy, chintsuuzai, Amrita Kamikaze, CrazyGirlofManyNames, KeiGinya, FT, The Sleeping Creature, Fate, yumeniai, Airily, abbynormal260, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, Jenny.s89, windlg, Haru Inuzuka, vanchagreen, Ukitake-chan, name, ladylookslikeadude, and Sarloos.


	13. Chapter 13

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Perhaps not my longest chapter, but I hope you enjoy.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter ****13**

"E-excuse me, but what did you just say?" Itachi asked, feeling as though he had heard the ANBU wrong.

"As of noon the day before yesterday, Uchiha Sasuke and the entire Team Seven are considered MIA." Yamato replied patiently, obviously knowing from previous experience how to deal with situations such as these.

"Bugger. I was hoping I heard you wrong." The FBI-agent muttered, and almost went boneless where he sat as his brain truly and fully understood what had just been said. The first thing that followed the realization was an immense upwelling of worry and panic for his little brother, the emotions so strong and powerful that they shocked him. Sure, he had grown fond of the shy boy over these past two months, but he hadn't realized until now just _how_ much. After wallowing in the panic and worry for a minute, Itachi pulled himself firmly together using the raging emotions to focus completely on the situation.

He looked up at the three silent ANBU, and in a controlled voice asked, "What happened?"

"We do not know," Yamato said, his voice neutral. "The last real communication we have from Team Seven was the brief report of successfully finishing their mission in Land of Waves. So whatever happened had to have taken place after that."

"Then what makes you think that something is wrong?" Itachi wondered, doing his best to stay as neutral as the ANBU were.

"As I said, the report was the last real communication we had with the team. However, we did receive three letters – one from each of the gennin. Allow me to read them for you?"

Nodding, Itachi simply closed his eyes and focused on what Yamato read.

"First letter is from Haruno Sakura," Yamato said, then started to read. "'_Hi mom, dad. I know this is last minute, so don't be angry. Hatake-sensei has decided to take this chance and give us some impromptu survival-training on the way back to Konoha. This means that it's going to take some extra time for us to get home, so don't worry about me. Thank you again for supporting my decision to be a kunoichi. Love you and see you soon'_. It is signed: '_Always yours, Haruno Sakura'_."

"Read it back to me again, one sentence at the time." Itachi said, his eyes still closed in concentration.

The ANBU watched the proceedings curiously as Yamato read the letter again. "'_Hi mom, dad'_."

"The letter starts off on an intimate and informal note." The young FBI-agent noted. "Keep reading."

"'_I know this is last minute, so don't be angry_'." Yamato waited for a minute, but when it became apparent that Itachi wasn't going to comment, read the next sentence as well. "'_Hatake-sensei has decided to take this chance and give us some impromptu survival-training on the way back to Konoha'_."

"It would have been logical to insert a simple 'please' when asking her parents not to be angry by the change of plans, and I have never heard her refer to Kakashi as 'Hatake-sensei'. The tone has changed to cold and formal, and very different from the beginning."

"'_This means that it's going to take some extra time for us to get home, so don't worry about me_'."

"In other words not to get panic or suspicious of foul play for a while, providing time for whatever is coming to happen. Please read the rest of it."

"'_Thank you again for supporting my decision to be a kunoichi. Love you and see you soon. Always yours, Haruno Sakura_'."

"Here it goes warm and informal again. She's thanking her family for supporting her choice of career, tells them that she loves them and that she's always their beloved little girl… it sounds to me as though she's saying goodbye to her family…" Itachi commented, trailing off at the end. "Please read the other two as well."

"The next letter is from Uchiha Sasuke." Yamato informed them. "'_Hi mom, dad. I know this is last minute, so please do not be angry. Kakashi-sensei has decided to take this chance and give us some extra training on the way back to Konoha. This means that it's going to take longer for us to get home, so don't worry about me. Since I won't be back in time, please tell aniki for me that I really liked the numerous ice-creams we ate together, it made me really happy'_. Signed: '_Always yours, Uchiha Sasuke_'."

"That one sounds almost normal," one of the other two ANBU commented.

"'Almost' being the key here." The seventeen-year-old said. "It is too informal for Sasuke to have written it. He would never call Fugaku by the informal 'dad'. Though Mikoto-san is more likely to earn the 'mom'-part, the Uchiha Clan as a whole are very formal and cold, and it is ingrained in every child to call their parents by the respectful 'okaa-sama' or 'otou-sama'. I have lived with them for almost two months and don't recall ever hearing any child using 'mom' and 'dad' when addressing their parents. Other than that, the letter is too alike Haruno's for it to be a coincidence, and, just like Haruno did, Sasuke seems to be saying goodbye."

"What about the part where he calls you 'aniki'?" the other ANBU asked.

"That's what's worrying me even more," Itachi opened his eyes, and stared into the fire. "Though he made enormous progress with his shyness and stuttering, Sasuke wasn't at the stage where he would feel comfortable in giving me such a role in his life. As it was, we were close to best friends, but we still had a long way to go before he would call me big brother."

Yamato held up the last letter. "Uzumaki Naruto." He said needlessly, and started to read. "'_Sarutobi-san. I know this is last minute, so do not be angry. Kakashi-sensei has decided to give us extra training on the way back to Konoha. This means that it's going to take longer for us to get home, so don't worry about us_'. Signed: '_Uzumaki Naruto_'."

"Once again it is almost the same as the other two letters – almost scripted – apart from the fact that it is so incredibly formal. Despite being a brat of enormous proportions, I doubt that even Uzumaki would write something so cold – at least not when addressing the person that practically raised him. And there's no personal message in there either. Sasuke mentioned liking our constant ice-cream dates, and Haruno thanked her parents for supporting her. And, since you said that you got three letters, then I suppose that Kakashi himself should have reported such a drastic change of plans, but his letter did not arrive?" Itachi stated rather than asked.

The green-and-red mask nodded. "Precisely."

"I understand why you are suspicious about this whole situation." He sighed heavily. "Now the question that has to be answered, is this: why, exactly, are you telling me all this?"

"There is a reason as to why I have just run all the way across the Land of Fire, pursuing you. I had to reach you before you left the Elemental Countries," Yamato actually sighed slightly, giving away his tiredness. Then he found a scroll in one of his pouches, and held it out towards Itachi, his eyes focused and intense behind his mask. "Hokage-sama is forming an investigation team to find out what happened, and he wants you in command."

Itachi blinked. "What?!"

"He wants you to be the team leader."

"WHAT?!" the FBI-agent jumped to his feet. "Is the old coot crazy?!"

"I assure you that many a shinobi has asked the same question, but the missions always ended for the best."

"I can't lead a team! A team of frickin' shinobi at that! Not forgetting the fact that I am just a newbie in this field, and that no one would listen to me! I am also too much of a newbie in the field of behavioral analysis to be of any use!"

"Sandaime-sama does not seem to think so, and, after witnessing you analyzing the three letters, I must say that I agree. You will do just fine," Yamato said calmly, while the other two ANBU watched on with amusement.

The teen whirled on the two red-masked ANBU and pointed at them. "Stop finding the situation amusing, dammit! You're not helping!"

The two ANBU shared a look, and then the one on the left stepped forwards. "You underestimate your own skills, Itachi-san."

The one on the right stepped up as well, and nodded. "You would be a good team-leader, and people would listen. We are shinobi, Itachi-san, and we know when to listen to someone who knows more about something than we do."

"That's not the kind of help I was asking for! Traitors!" Itachi waved his arms like a windmill. "Besides, I am family with one of the missing people, and friend with another. I am too emotionally involved in this to be of any use."

The ANBU on the left coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'letters' and 'analyzing'.

Itachi sent the man a death glare.

Yamato decided to step in before the situation went even more off kilter. "I have been assigned to the team, Itachi-san, and shall act as your second in command. This is both to make sure that people listen to you, and to make sure that you do not act rashly or miss something because of your personal involvement in the case."

"I hate you. I really, really do." The black-haired teen seemed to lose all fight and sat down again with a heavy sigh. Rubbing his face tiredly, he reflected that it had been good to let off some steam by ranting, and mentally thanked the three ANBU for allowing him this outlet. He had some very important things to consider before either accepting or declining this task.

One: could he do this? Lead a team of professional killers in order to find out what had happened to his little brother – who was also training to be one of said killers?

That depended a great deal on the people he would work with.

Two: could he solve this mystery in time? It was a common fact that in most cases – after missing the 48-hour window – people were gone, and Team Seven had already been missing for almost that long, if not longer. It all depended on just how the three letters were delivered, and how long the postal service had taken.

It would be very difficult. Evidence and such all depended on these things, and witness' statements changed, and he felt insecure in his ability to analyze things seeing as shinobi had a rather different way of thinking than Itachi was used to.

Three: could he simply walk away from all of this, knowing that Sasuke was in danger and not doing anything to help? Knowing that the case could fall into the hands of a group of bumbling, incompetent idiots like the Konoha Police Force, who couldn't organize their own filing room, let alone an operation of this magnitude?

Hell no.

"Take me back to the other world." He broke the silence that had descended upon them.

"Excuse me?"

"Take me back to the other world. I need to pick up some things."

"Does that mean you accept the mission?" Yamato asked, still holding out the scroll.

Itachi grabbed the scroll, his eyes sharp and focused. "Of course I am. As if there was ever any doubt. From what I've seen you people suck when it comes to things such as these, and don't even get me started on your precious police force."

'_Now there's a true Uchiha if I ever saw one.' _Yamato thought, an amused smirk playing across his lips, but he nodded. "Let's start."

**XIII**

Just about to go to bed, old Mr. and Mrs. Kishimoto looked up in surprise when the door to their home was opened and their adoptive grandson stalked in, closely followed by one of the animal-masked people. At once the elderly couple could see that something was seriously wrong, and they approached Itachi with worried faces.

"Itachi?" Mrs. Kishimoto asked hesitantly in Japanese. "What's wrong?"

"Sasuke – my biological little brother – has disappeared."

"What?!" the elderly couple gaped in shock. "B-but h-how… wha-?!"

"I cannot discuss an ongoing case, you know that." Itachi replied, though not coldly.

Placing an arm around his wife, Mr. Kishimoto nodded resolutely. "Of course. Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Not really, I just need to get a fresh set of clothes, and get my field kit. I also need to call Parker and explain the situation." He replied as he headed up the stairs to his room.

Mrs. Kishimoto looked even more worried. "Should you be involved in the case? Your relationship with one of the missing people could compromise everything – you have pointed this out to us more than once."

Mr. Kishimoto simply shook his head. "Do you really think there is a force on this earth that could keep Itachi away?"

The elderly woman smiled fondly at that, but sighed in worry as well. This was going to be very tough for her dear adoptive grandson.

Up in his room Itachi called Parker as he unpacked and repacked, not caring at all that it was the middle of the night. "Parker?" he said upon someone picking up the phone.

"Itachi." Parker replied calmly, at once hearing the seriousness and determination in the teen's voice. "You are back?"

"For a short while only. Something happened, Parker, and I need to go back and be there. I don't know how long I'll be gone." He didn't say anything to Parker about having to lead a team, or exactly what had happened. There was no need for the other to know that, especially not since he would then find a way to keep Itachi from being involved, and Itachi couldn't allow that. Not when Sasuke's life was at stake.

The older man sighed heavily over the phone. "I cannot extend your vacation further, Itachi, especially not for an undetermined amount of time. If you do this you could very well lose your place at the Behavior Analysis Unit, or, at worst, your job with the FBI."

"I know."

"There have been mutterings about putting you on a field team as their resident profiler, and thusly also giving you more experience." Parker said. "I'll see if I can't keep that debate up, but there's only so much I can do for you, Itachi."

"Thank you, sir."

"Take care of yourself, and the rest of the team sends their greetings." Parker ended the conversation without saying goodbye.

Itachi let the phone fall onto his bed, and sighed. His life-long dream of being a profiler with the FBI was dangerously close to going up in smoke, and yet he couldn't really bring himself to care. Sasuke was much more important than a silly dream, and he wasn't exactly quitting the profiling-business anyway. Nodding resolutely to himself, Itachi quickly finished packing. He then walked over to the closet where he kept his weapons, unlocked it and opened it, and gazed down at the weapons inside. For a moment he wondered whether or not he should bring along his sniper rifle, but then decided against it and instead picked up his handgun and strapped the shoulder-holster on. He grabbed a few extra rounds of ammunition just in case, before closing and firmly locking the closet.

Downstairs he met up with his grandparents again and gave them both a hug. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"We know." Mrs. Kishimoto said, hugging him tightly. "Now, you be careful, and when you come back bring along your little brother, do you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," Itachi replied with a small smile.

"Be careful," Mr. Kishimoto said as he saw Itachi and the silent ANBU to the door.

Itachi nodded and then he and the ANBU were gone in the artificial lights of the metropolis.

**XIII**

"I have no idea how to run this operation." Itachi sighed. These people expected him to lead a team when – according to Rodriguez – he couldn't lead a line to a drowning man. Alright, so Rodriguez had been joking at the time, but right now Itachi felt as though the statement was true. He had absolutely no confidence in his leadership-skills.

"How do you do things in this FBI, then?" Yamato asked. He was, as he had said, the second in command to Itachi. The two ANBU that had been escorting Itachi were also there, having been volunteered for this mission by the Hokage since they were already in the vicinity.

"If a perpetrator crosses state borders then we come in, but usually we have to wait until we are called in by the local authorities."

"What happens then?"

"We visit the crime scene and discuss the case with the local authorities. When we feel confident enough to give them a profile of the perpetrator, we gather everyone connected with the case in a room, and describe the unsub's personality, what to expect, why they chose _that_ particular spot, why they do exactly _that_ every time they commit a crime, and what to look for."

Yamato nodded. "Well then, you just run things in the manner you are most familiar with, and treat us as you would treat newbies in a taskforce."

"Right." Itachi muttered and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He couldn't panic and get stage fright now. "Ok. Let's start with the facts that we know." He said and opened a pad to write on. "Start with what we know of their mission."

The ANBU nodded and started to tell as much as he knew about Team Seven's mission in the Land of Waves. He explained about the run-in with the Demon Brothers, Tazuna's hiding of several important facts regarding the monopolized economy of the Land of Waves, about Gatou – here Itachi looked up from his writing and raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Yamato went on to explain about the nuke-nin Zabuza and the trouble that Team Seven had had with him and his protégé, and then finally the finishing of the bridge that would connect the Land of Waves to the mainland.

"All this was mentioned by Hatake Kakashi in his last report, sent a day before they left Tazuna-san and the Land of Waves," the man finished. "We heard nothing from the team until the three letters arrived four days after Kakashi's last report."

"How do shinobi send in their reports?"

"By specially bred messenger-hawks and the notes are encrypted. It usually takes the birds a bit more than 24 hours to reach Konoha from the Land of Waves. A day and a half, approximately." One of the other two ANBU replied. He had decided to use the codename Satoshi for this mission to make it easier on them all.

"And how did the three letters arrive?"

"With a Postal Runner."

"A what?"

"A Postal Runner. They are people with a certain amount of shinobi training that serve as the postal service in the Elemental Countries. There are certain stations placed all over the countryside where people can drop off their letters and parcels, and the next Runner that comes by and picks them up, then distributes them."

"Is there a sort of guard or postal master that controls this?"

The third ANBU – who went under the alias of Lin – shook his head. "No, these stations are usually placed next to a teahouse by the road, or on the outskirts of a village or town. No one really controls them, but they are to be checked twice every day – in the morning and the evening."

Itachi nodded in understanding. "Was the Runner that delivered the letters questioned about when he checked up in the station? And how long did it take him to get to Konoha and from where?"

"For a Runner to get from the Land of Waves to Konoha, he or she would take between four to five days. Keep in mind that these people are built and trained for speed and endurance, and some of them are faster than even ANBU-level shinobi over short distances."

"The way I see it, we have an approximately two day gap between Kakashi sending out his last report and the Runner picking up the three letters."

The three ANBU nodded. "That sounds about right," Yamato agreed.

"That is a long time. Usually people aren't found alive after the 48 hour-window." Itachi sighed and rubbed his eyes. "And who is the last person that we know saw the entire Team Seven alive and well?"

"That would be Tazuna and the citizens of the Land of Waves." Yamato said.

"Then that's the first place we will go come morning." The teen stretched. "Bloody hell, this is the worst situation ever. I haven't even got a frickin' crime scene – though I have to admit that it's a good thing."

"Go get some sleep, Itachi-san," Yamato advised.

"We'll wake you up when we're ready to leave," Satoshi added.

"Alright, goodnight." Itachi yawned and walked over to the tent that had been set up, laid down and closed his eyes despite knowing that it would be futile.

There was no way that he was going to get much sleep – if any – that night.

**XIII**

There, please tell me what you think.

I apologize again for the delay. I wanted to get my exams over and done with before I write something, and I've also gotten my grabby little hands on the Lego Indiana Jones game – which, coupled with the fact that I haven't had any pocky for over a month, has led to some scary situations, I can tell you.

I hope the analysis of the three letters wasn't too crappy or out of character. And I hope I didn't bore anyone with any of this… the chapter is way too dramatic for me. Not enough humor. Then again, when has this story ever done what I wanted it to do? It was supposed to be a sort of parody, with no more than ten chapters or so, and look at it now! It's gaining a worthwhile plot and the end is nowhere on the horizon! GAAAH!!

You know those people that write these kinds of things daily for TV-series (like NCIS, CSI, Criminal Minds, Bones, etc.)? Well, I am worshipping the ground they walk on for managing to do it day in and day out when my brain has been fried trying to get any order on the plot and the scientific evidence and so on. Those people are my heroes now.

Thanks to:

vanchagreen, Keacan The Weird, bookrascal, wingsofeagle, Kira Demon, Kalaras, Krinse-Katze, The-Living-Shadow, kerricarri, BasicallyAnIdiot, Ukitake-chan, Ten-Faced Paladin, The Sleeping Creature, your concience, dragonmage27, ladylookslikeadude, Unseen Moon, Fate, yumeniai, gaisensei, 1Baman4u, MKofGod, Tsukasa of the Azure Sea, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Honebar, izzaboo, ObliviousOne, Beta the Second, RoxasIsReal13, JustSomeOneRandom, Morrolan, SnickyPop, Aki WildQueen, Chosha Kurenai, KeiGinya, Tawariell, Nox Noctis of Eternus Luna, Katsheswims, alanfangor, Sarloos, FT, Airily, Wassermgierin, and Rayden Athene.


	14. Chapter 14

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Never give me anything that has to do with the "_Final Fantasy_"-game series. I will obsess over it and forget everything else. Which is also the reason for the lateness of my updates. Ye be warned for future reference.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Paladin Steelbreaker.

**Chapter 14**

It was much more difficult to go running through the trees than everyone else made it seem, and that Itachi had previously thought. I mean, humans had evolved from apes, so spending your time running and jumping from branch to branch twenty feet off the ground should be an easy task, right?

Wrong.

Itachi found himself constantly missing a step, cursing worse than a sailor on leave, jumping too far or too short, landing wrongly on the branch, slipping off, losing his balance, waving like a windmill with his arms to keep from falling, and – more than once – being saved from a humiliating and painful death by one of the three ANBU that ran with him.

"You know, Itachi-san," the ANBU who'd taken the codename Lin, began. "The offer for a piggyback ride still stands." He'd just had to push the young Uchiha through the air in order for the teen to reach the next branch safely, and though it was slightly amusing to watch an Uchiha – Uchiha! – fumble like this, it was slowing them down and could end up in serious wounds for Itachi. And both of those were detrimental to the mission. However, he had to admit that it was amazing that a civilian could jump through the trees as nimbly as Itachi did despite his navigational troubles.

"I'm going to learn doing this even if it kills me!" Itachi declared and jumped to the next branch.

Lin and his compatriot, Satoshi, exchanged a look that – although couldn't be seen – obviously said that they feared it might just come to that if Itachi kept on doing this, and then they'd be screwed all around. Amazingly enough, Yamato didn't seem to be all that worried, and simply shook his head in amusement at the other three's antics as he sped up slightly.

'_What did Mikoto say about pushing chakra to the feet?' _Itachi privately wondered. He'd been trying to figure out how to do just that ever since they'd started on this breakneck journey through the trees, and found out that the biggest problem was that he had no idea how to control his chakra at all, or what it was supposed to feel like once he did. Sure, he'd done it several times before – the Grand Fireball when he'd been helping Sasuke with his jutsu, and then that _henge_ on that mission with Kakashi – but all those times he'd had hand-seals to help draw out the requisite amount of chakra. Here, however, there were no hand-seals that he knew about, and it was quite a different thing all together.

'_Think, damn it! What is chakra?'_ the black-haired teen growled silently to himself, searching his brain for the answer. _'I know I heard something about it before, but who was it that said it? It had something to do with pocky… and pink… pink pocky… ah! Yes! The little strawberry pocky wannabe known as Haruno Sakura – no offence to the pocky. Now what did she say exactly? Chakra was the result of mixing stamina and the energy in every cell? But wouldn't that lead to the cells dying prematurely……? I need to stop thinking.'_

Having finally arrived at the correct answer, Itachi set to work in trying to manipulate said energy without hand-seals. He imagined a sort of glue appearing on the soles of his black ninja sandals, however, he made sure that it wasn't so strong that he simply ended up stuck on the tree nor so weak that it didn't hold. It needed to be the perfect strength to keep him safe, yet allow him to move on without giving him any sort of trouble.

His first attempt yielded no result at all apart from a small tingling in his muscles – a tingling he'd experienced before when he'd been using hand-seals, so he supposed that he was at least on the correct path if nothing else. However, the run of chakra through his leg muscles sent him flying much farther and faster than he'd expected, and he barely managed to land on the next branch over. Frowning down at his legs, Itachi narrowed his eyes at the challenge chakra control proved to be, and then jumped off again.

"Careful!" Satoshi grabbed the black-haired teen just as the branch broke under his feet, and they landed on a thicker branch in the next tree.

"Thanks," Itachi muttered, personally noting that he'd pushed far too much chakra into his feet this time.

"Perhaps we should take a small break," Yamato suggested from a branch higher above them. "We've made exceptionally good time, and should reach the Land of Waves and Tazuna's village early tomorrow morning if we run half the night."

Itachi, though wanting to protest, knew when to listen to the voice of reason and allowed Satoshi to jump them down to the ground, where the teen settled onto a large root that was sticking out. The three ANBU settled around him, pulling out ration bars and handing one to Itachi as well.

"Anyone got a map?" Itachi suddenly asked.

Lin pulled one out of his pouch and put it on the ground. "Here's Tazuna's village," he said, pointing. "And we are currently here." He pointed again.

Itachi watched all this with great interest. "Can you mark off Tazuna's village along with the villages and roadside inns that lie closest to the road to Konoha?" he inquired, pulling out a red pen and handing it to the ANBU. The task was soon done and about ten or so smaller and bigger red dots now decorated the map. Roadside inns had been marked with a thick 'X'.

"Does this help us in any way?" Satoshi asked.

"Probably," Itachi replied, "but I won't know for certain until I get to talk with Tazuna himself. However, this little roadside inn here seems very interesting." He pointed to an X on the map that lay directly between Tazuna's village and the next town that Team Seven would've come across on their journey to and from the Land of Waves. "Team Seven was attacked somewhere between the village and this particular inn."

Yamato nodded. "We'll split up," he decided. "Satoshi, you'll go and snoop around the inn and wait until we either get there or send message to you."

"Hai, Yamato-sencho." Satoshi nodded, and was gone with nary a rustle of leaves.

"Damn, those silently disappearing-appearing acts of yours are so freaky." Itachi muttered. "I've gotta learn how you guys do that."

Yamato and Lin shook their heads slightly in amusement.

**XIV  
**

"**THE GREAT NARUTO BRIDGE"**

That was what stood on the plaque that had been fitted into a rock right by said bridge. Itachi traced the words in the early morning light, and sighed heavily. He certainly hoped that the bridge's namesake and his two team-mates were alright and alive. He hoped this with all his heart, and the clock was ticking away. _'They are shinobi. They will be fine. I hope.'_

With another sigh, the black-clad teenager sent chakra into the muscles in his legs – yes, he'd gotten better at it – and ran across the bridge. He was like a shadow in the early morning mist, almost making no sound – though that was largely due to the soft sandals. As he ran much faster than he'd ever been able to before, he absently noted that although the Great Naruto Bridge was useable, it still wasn't quite finished, with small details still needing to be done here and there. A halfway painted railing, a small pedestal where a guardian statue was supposed to sit, little things like that were the clues.

'_Forget the bridge and focus on finding Tazuna's house,'_ Itachi growled to himself. _'Now, what did Yamato say Kakashi wrote in his report? First street left off the bridge, two streets over, turn right, through the alley on the left…'_

Ten minutes later Itachi stood on one of the wooden walkways, looking straight at Tazuna's house. The teen was slightly fatigued from having run through half the night and used so much chakra, with such a short break before dawn, but he wasn't about to stop now. Yamato and Lin waited for him out in the woods on the other side of the bridge, Itachi having convinced them that it would be much better if he alone went to meet with Tazuna. The old bridge-builder had met Itachi before, however briefly, and would be more inclined to feel relaxed and talk with him, than if there were two scary-looking ANBU present.

Itachi took one last mighty leap assisted by chakra, and landed almost silently right outside the front door of Tazuna's house. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the conversation that was to come, and then knocked on the door, hoping that the residents were awake.

It didn't take long before the door was opened by a young woman with long black hair. She wore an apron and had a ladle in her hands, obviously being right in the middle of making breakfast, and she blinked a bit in surprise upon seeing Itachi on her porch. "Yes? May I help you?"

"Good morning, Tsunami-san," Itachi nodded lightly, his manner serious and nothing like the goofball he usually portrayed. "I am Uchiha Itachi of the Konoha shinobi. I need to speak with your father, Tazuna-san. Is he in?"

"You're Sasuke-kun's older brother?" Tsunami lit up at once, and smiled as she opened the door wide for him. "Please come in, Itachi-san. My father will be down soon."

"Thank you, excuse the intrusion," the teen said politely. For a moment he debated whether or not to take off his sandals as decorum demanded, but then decided to take them off. It would keep Tazuna and his family more relaxed if they thought that he wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere.

"Do you want some breakfast, Itachi-san?" Tsunami called from the kitchen.

Though the thought of real food was very tempting – ration bars weren't the most delectable things, you know – Itachi managed to decline the offer politely, and did accept a cup of tea instead. He settled at the table, thanking the woman for the tea. He observed the black-haired woman, wondering exactly what Sasuke, or one of the other kids of Team Seven, had said to her. He could understand that Sasuke had simply called him his brother. For one, it was the truth, and for another, it was much easier to simply say that than to explain the entire tale – especially to a total stranger like Tsunami.

"Sasuke-kun spoke warmly about you, Itachi-san," Tsunami said over her shoulder as she finished up with breakfast. "Tell me, is Sasuke-kun fine?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed briefly in thought, noting that Tsunami didn't seem to know that Sasuke and his team were M.I.A., but didn't comment on it. It was still too early to assume anything, anyways. "The last time I saw my otouto, he was doing fine," the black-haired teen replied, being deliberately vague. The last time he'd seen Sasuke had been before this entire mission to the Land of Waves, and the shy boy had seemed totally fine then.

"That's good to know. He was so shy when we first met," Tsunami said as she placed the food on the table, then she looked uncomfortable. "Oh, I suppose I shouldn't be saying something like that to his elder brother. Please, there was no offence meant."

"None taken."

"Tsunami? Who're you talking with?" Tazuna's recognizable voice floated throughout the house, and a second later the bridge-builder himself entered the kitchen, only to freeze up and stare with wide eyes at Itachi. "You!"

"Good morning, Tazuna-san," Itachi nodded. "Please sit down, we need to talk."

"If this is about my lying about Gatou, and the Demon Brothers and Zabuza, then I've already apologized to Team Seven!" Tazuna practically shouted, apparently afraid that Itachi was here to take some sort of revenge on him, or something similar.

'_Good grief, I haven't even begun questioning him yet, and he's already confessed.' _The black-haired teen thought dryly to himself, but letting none of his thoughts show on his face. Instead, he renewed his offer-slash-hidden-order for Tazuna to sit down and calm down. "I see that the bridge is almost finished, Tazuna-san," Itachi said once the elderly man had started to eat. "It is an impressive piece of work."

Tazuna blinked, and then seemed to puff himself up. "Of course it is! I built it!" he bragged. "And I couldn't have done it without the help of the people, or you shinobi."

"Could you, perhaps, tell me about everything?" the black-haired teen inquired almost gently, sipping his tea. "I'd like to hear it straight from the source."

"Of course, of course!" Tazuna seemed to have completely warmed up to Itachi by now, especially since he'd complimented the bridge, and was more than ready to tell everything, starting with exactly when the villagers had decided that they needed to hire shinobi in order for the bridge to be finished. Itachi nodded and looked politely interested in it all, though only starting to really pay any attention when the elderly bridge-builder started talking about the journey with Team Seven and then what had happened in the Land of Waves. There was nothing new, nothing that Kakashi hadn't written in his reports to Konoha.

"That morning everyone in the village gathered to see the team off by the bridge," Tazuna finished, his breakfast long since gone.

"And when was this?" the FBI-agent asked. "The date?"

"That was the 14th, wasn't it?" Tazuna muttered, and looked briefly to his daughter to confirm this. When she nodded, he turned back to Itachi. "Yes, early morning on the 14th."

'_And now it's the 23__rd__.'_ Itachi thought worriedly. _'Hopefully Satoshi has found something at that roadside teahouse/inn.'_

"What's wrong?" the question was posed by a small boy of about nine or ten, wearing green overalls and a striped hat. "Something happened to Team Seven, didn't it? That's why you're here, right?"

"Inari!" Tazuna and Tsunami stared at the child, ready to scold him for being rude, but when Itachi didn't deny the accusations, they both turned towards the black-haired shinobi. "Itachi-san? Is it true?"

Itachi stared at the three worried and slightly fearful faces in front of him, and kept quiet.

**XIV  
**

"We could have been there faster if you'd let one of us carry you," Lin suddenly remarked.

Itachi shook his head. "That may be true, but people aren't all that fond of being woken up in the middle of the night," he said, focusing more on not falling. They were running through the woods towards the roadside teahouse/inn where they were to meet up with Satoshi, and Itachi was doing fairly well on jumping through the trees and keeping up with the two ANBU, especially considering that he was a total newbie at chakra control and such – a fact that both Yamato and Lin had noticed with interest.

"We lost several hours," Lin said, obviously not wanting to let the issue go for some reason.

"I know," the black-haired teen replied. Oh, how he knew, but it had been a conscious decision that he'd taken and which he believed to be for the best of the mission, and it didn't help having the other man poking and questioning him about it ever damned step of the way.

"Did you learn something from Tazuna?" Yamato stepped into the conversation, and between Itachi and Lin, as if physically trying to ward off an impending fight.

"Not much, though I would like to say it only once, so I'll wait with the explanations until we meet up with Satoshi again, if you don't mind?"

"Alright." The ANBU Captain nodded in understanding. "If we keep this pace up, we should be reaching the teahouse-slash-inn in about four or six hours."

"We're losing more time." Lin pointed out again.

Itachi twitched, but didn't comment on it. Instead he focused on pacing himself and his chakra out to last for about eight hours – he added two hours just in case – and made sure that he didn't fall off or stumble as he ran through the trees. _'I have to admit, so far this entire thing has been quite the new experience.'_

Back at Tazuna's he'd finally settled the family's fears as much as he could, pulling some nonsense excuse out of midair, and lying his teeth off saying that there was a small discrepancy in the timing of the mission, and that it was normal procedure to check up with the last known location and customer of a certain shinobi before the village declared said shinobi K.I.A. or a nuke-nin. He had no idea if this was the way things were done in reality, but it had worked, and Tazuna, Tsunami and Inari had promptly done their best to convince Itachi that there was no way that Team Seven had defected, and that they had probably stopped in a town or something to rest up in a proper inn.

"How can you believe something like that about your own little brother?! Sasuke was wrong about you! You're heartless!" Inari had shouted at him, and it had actually hurt for Itachi to keep his emotionless mask on when all he wanted to do was to shake Inari like a ragdoll, and shout out his fear and worry about Sasuke's safety.

'_Focus!'_ Itachi growled to himself as he almost slipped off a branch.

The next few hours were spent in almost total silence as the shinobi trio ran through the trees, Yamato in the lead and Itachi and Lin right behind. They met with no trouble at all – apart from some branches that insisted on clinging on to them and slowing them down – and finally Yamato signaled for them to land on the terra firma. "The teahouse is right behind that thicket."

Itachi was infinitely glad for the break. He was feeling surprisingly tired after having used so much chakra, but not so tired that he couldn't function properly, and felt infinitely glad that he'd paced himself like he had. _'And now I know my own limitations as well, which is always good.'_ He thought as he leaned against the closest tree and panted.

The two ANBU took this chance to remove their masks and _henge_ into clothes that resembled what Itachi was wearing – black sandals, black zip-up, sleeveless west, and black pants in a flexible material. They kept their Konoha head-bands (Yamato's almost looking like a helm from ancient Rome), and the katana on their backs, but otherwise no one would be able to tell what kind of level they were.

The black-haired teen turned around and blinked at the two men that now stood in front of him, feeling somewhat freaked out that they would copy his clothes. And also that he couldn't be sure if the faces that he saw now, truly were the real faces of Yamato and Lin. "This is so freaky."

"Ready?" Yamato asked, a small smile twitching at the corner's of his lips.

"Yeah, sure," Itachi nodded and followed the other two through the trees. He still hadn't gotten over the freakiness of the situation. Yamato and Lin could turn into whomever they wished, and Itachi wouldn't be able to tell the difference unless he knew that person inside and out. _'The perfect tool for spies. Truly gives a man a thousand faces, doesn't it?'_

Two minutes later the trio emerged onto a dirt road, and a few yards down said road they easily spotted the roadside inn/teahouse. It was very small, and Itachi doubted it could house more than a few guests comfortably. If anyone wanted to spend the night here, they would obviously be forced to sleep in the stables. Yet, despite its small size, it was full of travelers and guests, and there was a lively air around the entire thing with a couple of children running around, and laughter being frequently heard.

'_This is a freaking conspiracy.' _Itachi thought to himself, sending a speculative gaze towards Yamato. At first, the teenager had been afraid that they would never be able to find Satoshi in this group of people seeing as the man could have changed into any number of the customers. However, that was, most certainly, not the case as he found out when he spotted Satoshi sitting there right in the middle of the crowd, wearing a black outfit like the one that Yamato and Lin now sported.

'_Did the Hokage put them up to this, or what?'_ he wondered as the three of them carefully navigated through the crowd and the hyperactive children, and sat down at the table that Satoshi had procured for them. The man had even ordered tea and snacks for them, and Itachi raised an eyebrow when he spotted the box of pocky. _'Quite the meddling old geezer, that Hokage.'_

The four of them dressed in black stood out in the middle of the crowd of happy civilians, and garnered quite a few weird looks from fellow customers, though no one seemed to be too worried about suddenly being attacked or anything, and soon enough the odd looks stopped – apart from the children, who seemed unable to tear their eyes away from the four shinobi.

"It's bad for business to kill your own clientele, so all shinobi – no matter from what village they're from – try to avoid killing civilians if they don't have to," Satoshi explained for Itachi's benefit, only to shoot out a hand and gently grab the wrist of a child that had come too close to touching the katana strapped to his back.

"Morbid," Itachi said, "but logical."

"Tell us what you know, Satoshi," Yamato said, his hand holding on to the cup of tea, but never bringing it close to his mouth. "And then Itachi will tell us what he found out at Tazuna's."

"Team Seven was here," Satoshi said at once in a quiet voice, and not bothering to beat around the bush. "The innkeeper told me as much, saying that it was difficult to forget a silver-haired man and a pink-haired girl."

"Couldn't they have been clones?" Itachi asked.

"The innkeeper's a retired ninja from Konoha. He never got higher than chunnin, but he was pretty certain that it wasn't a kage-bunshin. It is something all retired shinobi are told to look for if they spot one of our own, and send a message to the village if they discover a clone."

"Go on, what else did you discover?" Lin said.

"I scouted around and know in which direction Team Seven went next, and it goes straight towards Konoha. So at least we know that the team got as far as this, and a bit further, before they were attacked or whatever happened." Satoshi frowned slightly. "I haven't been able to pick up on anything else apart from that, and I've been questioning everyone around here. It seems as though whoever made Team Seven their targets either did it here in this teahouse and then attacked them later, or made them their targets and attacked all after they left the teahouse."

"Are there any reports of missing-nin around here?"

Yamato shook his head. "Nothing lately, and those reports are very accurate. That is also another thing retired ninja are asked to look out for, and a better network of informants is difficult to find."

Itachi filled the other three in on what little he'd found out at Tazuna's, and then sunk into deep thoughts as his three ANBU companions continued to discuss things. Had he made the correct choice when he'd opted to learn how to move through the trees like all shinobi and thusly slowed them down, rather than taking either Lin or Yamato up on their offer of being carried and going much, much faster? At the time it had seemed so logical, so useful, but now he wasn't so sure anymore.

'_I can't keep on second-guessing myself, especially not if I'm going to lead a team of the highest ranking shinobi,'_ he sighed to himself. He looked over his three companions, noting that all three seemed unhappy with the situation and lack of information, and after only a short debate, the black-haired teenager decided to step in. "We are going to need more people on this."

The three disguised ANBU turned to him. "Oh?"

"I mean no offence to your skills, but we are going to need more people. There's simply too much ground to cover in too little time."

Yamato nodded. "What kind of people do you need?"

"At least one excellent, top-notch tracker," Itachi replied, "preferably with a dog. It's a vast area of forest out there and the scent is practically gone by now, but there still might be some hope."

"Inuzuka's are the best trackers, and they work with ninja dogs, which are much better than your normal pooch," Satoshi commented. "What else."

"One or more Hyuuga's with their x-ray vision." The teen said, trying to think of what else they would have used in a search-and-rescue mission at the FBI, and how that could be translated into shinobi terms. "If possible, give me Hyuuga Neji."

That garnered a few raised eyebrows. "Why exactly him?"

"Apart from you wanting to torment the poor boy some more, that is." Lin added hastily, his voice dry as the Sahara desert. "And what makes you think that the Hyuuga Clan will want to have anything to do with you after the stunt you pulled?"

Itachi couldn't help the amused smirk that settled on his lips, his eyes flashing. "Hyuuga Neji is one of the best byakugan-users you will find."

"And how, exactly, did you reach that conclusion?" Satoshi asked with a raised eyebrow, while Yamato simply observed the proceedings curiously.

"He's a prodigy of the Hyuuga Clan and, unfortunately for him, also a 'simple' branch-house member and will never be allowed to learn the secret techniques – unless he can prove himself better than everyone else. And, believe me, he's well on his way to do just that." He sent the others a darkly amused look. "What? You think I provoked the brat just for the entertainment value – though, I have to admit, it was great comic relief – and all my talks with Hyuuga Hinata leading up to said provocation weren't exactly about flowers and the weather, you know."

"You have been a busy little bee, haven't you, Uchiha Itachi?" Yamato muttered thoughtfully.

"An Inuzuka and Hyuuga Neji," Satoshi said as he shook his head. "What else do you think you'll need? A medic?"

"Most definitely a medic, and a good one at that. Heaven knows what kind of condition Team Seven will be in by the time we find them." He thought for a bit, and then got an idea which – if it worked out – could piss off Fugaku and the rest of the Uchiha Clan and, perhaps, also bring a small revolution. "And we need a woman on the team, a motherly woman. Uchiha Mikoto if you can manage it."

Once again the other three felt surprised, and wondered for a moment if Itachi wasn't simply throwing out names of the people that he'd already met rather than letting them choose someone of much more skill.

"You sure that's a good idea?" Lin asked. "She is Uchiha Sasuke's mother, she's too emotionally involved."

"Believe me, I know. And by that reasoning, I shouldn't be here either." Itachi replied sharply, wondering if Lin hadn't simply been chosen to be the annoying bastard of the group. There was always one person who had to grate on his nerves, and this time it was Lin.

"Peace, you two," Yamato stepped in. "Alright, Itachi, if you think that Mikoto-san can handle it, then we'll try to get her on the team as well. She hasn't been a shinobi for a long time now, and will need to go through some simple tests before being temporarily reinstated, but I do not think those will pose too much trouble."

"I think, perhaps, we need to add an Aburame as well," Satoshi spoke up. "Their bugs can get into places no one else can, and are great for spying."

"Whatever else you deem valuable, as long as I get what I requested." Itachi agreed, trusting the other's opinion about Konoha shinobi. Instead he pulled out the map and laid it out on the table, moving the completely untouched box of pocky out of the way. "Now, I assume that only one of you is going to be sent back to Konoha to gather what is needed?"

"Yes," Yamato nodded.

"I'll go," Lin volunteered.

"Alright, then the three that remain behind will be checking out these villages here," the teen pointed to five or six villages that were closest to the roadside inn/teahouse. "And we'll be starting in the northernmost village and then go southwards, one by one, so you know where we are headed. I refuse to believe that no one knows anything – even the find of a kunai in the forest can give us clues – so these villages are logical to check out since they're closest."

"We'll also search for more clues around here, and follow the path that Team Seven took away from here as best we can." Satoshi added.

Itachi nodded. "Good idea. Honestly, the disappearance of three children can't be such a normal occurrence that no one has bothered to report it!" he groaned and rubbed his face tiredly.

"Don't be so sure about that, stranger," a young woman spoke up from the table that was closest to them, and which offered a perfect view of their map. She was dressed in the usual travelling clothes, dusty and with a pack resting on the bench beside her. Her eyes were rooted to the map on the table. "Three children have gone missing, right? Between the ages eight and twelve, right?"

"Yes, ma'am, you are indeed correct," Itachi replied, keeping as calm and collected as he could. Beside him he could feel the three ANBU tense up. "You are familiar with such a gruesome occurrence?"

She nodded a bit hesitantly, not liking to have the attention of the four shinobi, and obviously wishing that she hadn't said anything. "Yes. It isn't the first time this has happened," she said.

"Oh? Please elaborate, madam." The black-haired teen layered on the charm as much as he could in order to make her feel as comfortable as possible, and he also stomped on the others toes as a warning to stop trying to scare the woman away, and luckily they listened to him. "This has happened before, you said. How many times have children gone missing? Twice? Three times?"

"You must be new around here," she said and shook her head. "A trio of children have been disappearing now and then for the past ten years or so."

**XIV**

There, please tell me what you think.

Someone mentioned that in the last chapter, Itachi went from being barely interested in Sasuke to oh-my-god-I-love-my-little-brother-enough-to-give-up-my-dreams-for-him (so to say), and that there was no middle ground in between. Well, I kind of see Itachi as either do or don't type of guy, with no 'maybe' or 'perhaps' in between. He doesn't seem like a person who will second guess or doubt his choices once he's made them, and once he makes up his mind he will go through with something to the best of abilities. Nothing seems half-hearted with him, if he's going to do something, then he's going to do it correctly the first time around.

I hope that the rant up above made any sense at all...

And as for why there was no handwriting analysis of the three letters. Remember that although Itachi is speaking the language almost fluently, he can barely write or read it, let alone conduct an analysis of the particular handwriting which is why Yamato read the letters to him. Nor did they have anything to compare the handwriting to at that point.

Thanks to:

CrazyGirlofManyNames, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, Nox Noctis of Eternus Luna, vanchagreen, The Sleeping Creature, Kira Demon, WindiosSiesta, Metal Dragoon, The-Living-Shaodw, Meiroh, BasicallyAnIdiot, Keacan The Weird, Love Psycho, QueenOfHalf-BakedIdeas, gundam06serenity, SnickyPop, Airily, Chiichobi, Morrolan, Katsheswims, missyserena214, Chosha Kurenai, Hitokiri Onib, kerricarri, KeiGinya, ladylookslikeadude, Ukitake-chan, dgcybran, RozenMaiden14, Unseen Moon, Hiira, Ty, FT, Otaku Ink, Gender Outlaw, yumeniai, danilion, puretsubasa, Rayar, Ivanika, digi-writer1392, WhiteDragonShiro, AbeoUmbra, kaen307, Felixia, DeAD oN SIghT, xRosePetalx, Yuki Hikaru, and Yurrei.


	15. Chapter 15

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:**I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** A couple of... characters from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ make an appearance in this chapter! And sorry about the long wait.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 15**

Though not able to see it on the blank faces of the shinobi, Itachi could practically feel their shock. He was the same way, too, and though his work with the FBI had prepared him for certain situations, this was almost too much for him. That something like this had been going on for the past ten years and that the shinobi hadn't heard or done something about it was unthinkable. Especially since the three ANBU had just been singing their praises about their network of informants.

"For the past ten years?" the black-haired seventeen-year-old parroted. "And the local authorities haven't done anything?"

The young woman shook her head. "Of course they've done all they can! We've even sent reports to the Konohagakure police force every time it happened, but nothing has been done!" She sent the three ANBU, who were wearing their Konoha hitai-ate, a dark look.

_'Konoha Police Force, huh?'_ Itachi mused, feeling anger start to bubble in him. _'The_ Uchiha-_infested Konoha Police Force? The same force that can't find their way in a straight corridor, let alone their file-room?_ That _police force?'  
_  
Suddenly Itachi felt the need to really kill something, and kill it stone dead.

"They did not reply or do anything?" he asked, trying to keep his murderous feelings in check.

The woman snorted. "They sent a shinobi. He declared that some children had run off while others had been killed by nuke-nin, and that they were going to investigate further, and that was all we ever heard from them."

"Could you point out for us from where children have gone missing and, if you know, exactly how many children?" Itachi motioned to the map on their table.

The young woman suddenly looked hesitant again, her eyes flickering to the three incognito ANBU. Itachi easily picked up on this and got to his feet, taking the map with him to the woman's own table, and sat down opposite her. Yamato, Satoshi and Lin shared a look and, as one, reached the decision to make themselves scarce for the moment. This was obviously Itachi's field of expertise – violent interrogation didn't seem like the right thing to do at the moment– and therefore the three shinobi went up to the counter of the tea-house and ordered some snacks for themselves, making sure to tell the innkeeper that there was no hurry. Their presence would obviously only make the young woman nervous and skittish, and make Itachi's work more difficult, so this was the best option.

"Please point it out for me," Itachi asked the woman again, placing the map in front of her on the table.

She stared at him for a while. "You are from Konoha," she finally said. "Why should I help you now when your people didn't help us for the past ten years?"

"Because we will help you now," he replied. "And because you don't wish to be like the Konoha Police Force and not help. If you were like them, then you wouldn't have spoken to us in the first place."

The woman bit her lip and looked down at her arms, wrapped around her middle. She was silent for a long while, thinking and weighing something in her mind, and then she looked back up, a steely glint in her eye. "Do you promise to catch them, whoever is doing this?"

"You have my word," Itachi said with a firm voice that made no room for argument.

Taking a deep breath the young woman lifted a hand and pointed at the map. "Six... Nine... Three... Six... Six..."

**XV**

They were furious. All four of them were completely and utterly furious. What was there not to be furious about? For ten years some lunatic had been periodically killing off children, the Konoha Police Force had known about it, and for _ten years_said police force hadn't done a single thing about it. It was enough to piss off even the three ANBU, let alone Itachi who was actually emitting a surprisingly strong wave of killer intent. It had been powerful enough for the proprietor of the roadside tea house to ask them to leave because they were scaring other customers.

So here they were in the middle of the forest and away from the tea-house, all four of them trying to keep their tempers in check and Itachi ranting and raving about Fugaku, poor filing, and glaring death and destruction at a poor, unfortunate tree. If looks could kill, the tree certainly wouldn't be alive anymore, and that was exactly what Itachi was intending to do to the unsub. And the Konoha Police Force too. In that order.

"So, what happens now?" Yamato asked, his face serious and it was obvious that he wasn't happy.

"Stupidity should be illegal and lethal and painful, and I'm seriously going to kill someone once I get back to Konoha," Itachi grumbled, then sighed and the killer intent disappeared from the air. The teenager decided that he had time to be pissed off later, and rubbed his face a bit before focusing on the three ANBU. "Are you guys ready to take on a case that has been lying around in the file room – and I use that term very reluctantly – of the Konoha Police Force for the past ten years? And take my orders while you're at it? I don't want any trouble from you four once Lin comes back with the extra men we need. If you won't listen to me, then _they_certainly won't."

"As long as you allow me to join in the maiming of a certain police force, I will follow you to the ends of the earth," Satoshi said.

"You know that the Hokage sent me to help you," Yamato shrugged. "My answer is obvious."

"I don't like you at all," Lin stated.

"I don't need you to like me. I just need you to listen to me so when I say 'jump' you don't ask about how high or for how long, you just do it and continue to defy gravity until I say 'stop.'"

Satoshi smirked behind his mask. "That is certainly one way to put it. What do you say, Lin? Want to try defying gravity?"

The ANBU snorted. "Whatever you say. So, what happens now?"

Itachi leaned back against a tree. "Now I have a question or two before you run off to Konoha. Firstly, how long would it take for you to gather everyone and everything and come back here?"

"Uchiha Mikoto-san would have to take a few tests before being reinstated as a shinobi, but she could easily come after us on her own," Lin replied. "As for the group, well, it depends on just which files from the Konoha Police Force you want."

"Just bring every single one of them."

"Then it shouldn't take too long, and we should be able to meet up again in about ten days. It will be slower considering the fact that Hyuuga Neji-san is nothing but a gennin. Are you sure you wish to have him on the team? There are other Hyuugas of higher rank than him, you know."

The black-haired teen simply shook his head. "I will not settle for anything but Hyuuga Neji. Ten days, huh?"

"At the most," said Satoshi. "Probably less if someone carries the young Hyuuga."

Itachi nodded. "Another question: exactly how long after a shinobi's disappearance is that family notified?"

Yamato was the one who answered. "Always three days after the deadline for their latest report, and the time between required reports is dependent on the rank and context of the mission. This was a C-rank mission, so the Uchiha Clan should have been informed the day after you were notified."

"Who does one go to in such a situation?"

"The family or clan head, the ANBU do not have time to tell everyone the same thing over and over again. Why?"

The young FBI agent was deep in thought and didn't reply to the question. Right then he was wondering exactly what Fugaku could have told Mikoto once the ANBU alerted him of the situation. There were three possible scenarios as far as Itachi could see: A) Fugaku wouldn't have told Mikoto anything, or B) he could have told her something. Or C) she heard it from someone else. The first two were very obviously two different situations and with two different outcomes, and the last one was rather unlikely. If Fugaku hadn't told Mikoto, then he hadn't told anyone else, and he doubted that Mikoto would socialize with Haruno Sakura's parents. They moved in totally different social circles, and Fugaku would never allow it.

_'Mikoto will help no matter what, but the question is just how much can I piss off Fugaku and Shisui in this situation__,__'_Itachi wondered. He wasn't above taking advantage of this situation, grim as it was, and he would also consider this as a bit of revenge for the total lack of professionalism that the Konoha Police Force had shown. "Lin."

Lin, having given up on expecting a reply from Itachi anytime soon, had by then released his _henge_and was once again standing in full ANBU uniform. He was doing a last minute check to make sure that everything was ready for travel, and would have set off if Itachi hadn't called him. "What is it?"

"There is a certain thing I want you to do when you meet Mikoto – but only if Fugaku hasn't told her anything about Sasuke having gone missing."

"Yes?"

Itachi smirked slightly, his eyes flashing devilishly for a second as he explained what he wanted to three curious and surprised ANBU.

**XV**

The ANBU known as Lin was travelling at top speed through the green treetops that covered Fire Country in a, more or less, ancient and never ending forest. This time, not being slowed down by a certain FBI agent and with a very important mission, the man was covering ground at an almost incomprehensible speed. He took little to no breaks, ate while running, and chose the shortest and fastest route back to Konohagakure.

And yet, it still took him three days and nights of constant running to get within sight of the formidable walls that surrounded the village. The chuunin and older gennin that patrolled the forest surrounding the village and atop the wall itself let the speeding ANBU through without trouble, only looking curiously after him and wondered what that was all about. Within the village it was easy to make one's way uninterrupted to the Hokage Tower, where he had to be subjugated to a short check by the Hokage's ANBU guards before being let in to see the Fire Shadow himself.

Lin bowed to the leader of the village, then settled into a relaxed pose that would make it easy to both attack or defend or run away if there was a surprise attack – doubtful really, but one never new, and such mannerisms were ingrained after a while.

"Ah, Tora-san, welcome back," the elderly Hokage greeted the ANBU as he put down the document he'd been looking through, his eyes focusing on the ANBU in question. "Back so soon?"

"For now, Hokage-sama," Lin replied, recognising the order to report everything that had happened so far. And he did, leaving nothing out. "I am here to gather a team of specialists and then head out as soon as possible," he concluded.

The Hokage sighed tiredly. "Ten years... those poor children," he muttered. He was a shinobi, yes, but these were _children_. _Civilian_children at that! "How is it that we have not heard of something like this before?"

"That is another thing that I have been ordered to do," Lin said. "It is impossible that we should have no records of this, and Itachi-san has ordered me to gather every single file that the Konoha Police Force has, and bring them along."

"He said that?" Sarutobi wondered, knowing just how unorganised those files were. "_All_of them?"

"Actually, what he said was (and I quote): 'Blah blah blah Fugaku! Blah blah blah grrr blah! Files blah every last one of them blah!'" Lin reported with a straight face.

"... 'blah'?" One of Sarutobi's eyebrows rose.

"He said he didn't want to swear where children might hear or read it. Then he added something about the holy hand-grenade and about sending the killer rabbit of Caerbannog on the Konoha Police Force – though I have no idea what he meant by that." The ANBU sighed. "Either way, I need to gather every single piece of paper in the Police HQ's that could be a report, and bring it back with me."

Sarutobi shook his head in amusement, chuckling lightly over the complete and utter chaos that seemed to follow one Uchiha Itachi like a lost puppy. The upcoming shock that both the Uchiha and the Hyuuga were going to receive was certainly going to be interesting to watch. "I give you permission to both gather the group of specialists Itachi-kun asked for, and to take every single file and report that is in the custody of the Konoha Police Force – and if you have to go to the home of any police officer to get something, then do so. Now, I have one more question for you before you carry on."

"Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"What do you think about Uchiha Itachi himself?"

"He's insane," came the deadpan reply at once, and the Hokage chuckled then asked for elaboration.

**XV**

Convincing an Inuzuka to take on the mission and help them out had been one of the easiest things to do, the same for getting the help of an Aburame and their bugs. The head of the Inuzuka Clan herself took the mission, as did the head of the Aburame Clan, and both then agreed to help gather all the files from the Uchiha-ruled Konoha Police HQ as soon as they had gotten ready themselves. Lin had also managed to recruit one of the best medics in the Konoha Hospital, the medic not having been out in the field overly much, but was known for being level-headed and excellent when he actually was. The man was also quickly dispatched to gather files.

Then came the recruitment of one Hyuuga Neji.

Which was going to be a pain despite what Itachi had said, because Itachi was far away, and it was Lin who had to torture himself with the meetings with both Maito Gai and Hyuuga Hiashi. He had to ask both the boy's teacher and the boy's head of family because Neji was still a gennin, and the boy was also considered a minor until his 14th birthday.

Convincing Maito Gai to let go of one of his students for an indeterminable amount of time had been... an interesting experience to put it mildly. The man had done his weird crying and usual spiel about the wonderfulness of youth, and had then promptly demanded to know why his entire team of gennin couldn't come along. Lin had tried to explain to him as patiently as possible that only Hyuuga Neji's skills were desired – in other words, the ANBU told Gai to go take it up with the Hokage and Itachi and to leave Lin alone.

"Then I shall do just that!" Gai had said. "And if I can't do that, then I shall walk up and down the river 500 times. On my hands!"

"You do that," Lin had muttered and had gotten out of there as soon as possible. _'All in all, it could've gone much, much worse.'_

The meeting with Hyuuga Hiashi, however, was definitely not what Lin had expected.

Lin had been shown into the dojo where Hiashi had been training with his younger daughter Hanabi, and had then watched as the young Hanabi pouted and sulked when her training was interrupted and she was sent out. Hiashi took a seat in a very formal manner, and Lin approached the Clan Head before stopping close enough so that Hiashi could hear him even though he didn't speak louder than a whisper, and sat down as well.

"What can I help the ANBU with?" Hiashi asked. It was obvious that it was rather common for the Clan Head to meet up with the ANBU, and he didn't bother with beating around the bush. It seemed as though Hiashi found it obvious that the ANBU would come to him and his clan when they needed help, and he had almost expected it.

"We require Hyuuga Neji's presence during a mission," Lin said.

That was obviously something that the white-eyed male hadn't expected, for he actually blinked once in surprise. And then the white eyes narrowed in thought. "Why would the ANBU request the help of a Hyuuga who is still a gennin, when they have access to Hyuugas that far outrank that?"

"A request from the team leader. He wanted Hyuuga Neji-san specifically."

"What kind of mission is this?"

"Search-and-rescue."

A sudden understanding flickered through Hiashi's eyes. "The missing Team Seven and their jounin instructor Hatake Kakashi?"

"Hai."

"And who is the team leader that requested Neji?"

"Uchiha Itachi-san." Lin really wasn't sure why Itachi had asked for Neji and exactly why he thought that the request would be granted – especially after that stunt he had pulled a few weeks ago. People hadn't been able to look at the Hyuuga Clan in the same way again since then, though it was slowly passing now that people understood that there was really no way to "defend" themselves from the Hyuuga Byakugan.

While the ANBU was wondering about these things, Hiashi was sunken in his own thoughts. Neji had told him all about the rather embarrassing situation a few weeks ago, and Hiashi had to admit that he'd found it rather amusing. This wasn't really the first time that something like that had happened either, it was just that most of the other times it hadn't been so incredibly public. I mean, what else could one expect when one possessed the ability to look through everything?

But that Uchiha Itachi had been made the team leader on such an important mission – and should ask specifically for Neji's help – was something very much unexpected. This was obviously sanctioned by the Hokage, so there was no way that Hiashi was going to say no, and it would be incredibly amusing to see the reactions of the other Hyuugas once this got out.

_'Uchiha Itachi really is a very unique character__,__'_the Hyuuga Clan Head thought to himself before nodding to the ANBU in front of him. "You have my permission to take Neji."

Now it was Lin's turn to blink in surprise – that went much easier than he'd expected – and he nodded as he got to his feet. He still had one person to pick up. "Thank you. Please have Hyuuga Neji-san ready to go as soon as possible, and then send him over to the Konoha Police building to help gather files."

"Police? Files? Wha-?" Hiashi didn't get further because the ANBU was already gone. The Hyuuga Clan Head sighed and shook his head. _'I told Fugaku he needed a better filing system, but of course he never listened. Now it has obviously come back to bite him in the arse. This is bound to shake things up within that particular clan... actually, I get the feeling it began the second that they found Uchiha Itachi.'_

Seeing as both Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Shisui were out of the village for now, and very few other Uchihas were actually stupid enough to attempt to stop an ANBU on a mission, Lin didn't have much trouble getting into the part of town that the large clan owned. Tracking down Uchiha Mikoto was equally easy since the woman was doing house chores, and Lin spotted her in one of the upper windows of the house, airing the futons.

Slowing down enough for the woman to see his approach, the ANBU dropped down onto the ground and knocked on the door politely. Passing Uchihas stared in surprise at the fully dressed ANBU that was waiting to be let into the house, wondering why he was there when it was clear that both Fugaku-sama and Shisui-sama weren't in town. In fact, those were the very thoughts that ran through Uchiha Mikoto's mind when she opened the door.

"What can I help you with, ANBU-san?" she asked. "Neither my husband nor Shisui-kun are here at the moment, and I do not know when they will be back."

"I have not come to talk to them, but to you," Lin replied.

"To me?" the woman was surprised. It had been a long time since an ANBU had come to talk to her like this.

He nodded. "On the behalf of Uchiha Itachi-san."

Mikoto blinked, and then decided that this obviously wasn't a conversation to be had where others could hear, and invited the ANBU inside, her offer of tea or refreshments being declined politely. "Is everything alright with Itachi-kun?"

_'So Itachi was right in thinking that Fugaku may not have told his wife about their youngest son's disappearance,'_Lin thought to himself, silently giving credit to the seemingly insane seventeen-year-old – though he'd never admit to having done such a thing, even in his private thoughts. "Everything is fine with Itachi-san."

"Then what is going on?" Mikoto demanded, a dread settling in her stomach, her shinobi instincts – albeit very rusty – now whispering at her that something was very, very wrong.

"Uchiha Itachi has been assigned as the leader on a search-and-rescue mission, and is requesting your help and expertise as a shinobi."

"Yes, of course I will help, but I haven't been a shinobi for years. And wasn't he supposed to have left the Elemental Countries?" she was a bit confused now, and the bad feeling was simply getting worse and worse. "What-?"

"Team Seven has been considered M.I.A. for almost two weeks now," Lin said, watching the woman carefully. "You should have been told about this three days after the deadline for the next letter from the team leader, passed."

Mikoto first paled and looked utterly horrified at the fact that her youngest son had been missing for so long, her eyes went wide and a hand covered her mouth as if physically holding back her building panic. Then the shinobi in her took over, brushing the dust and cobwebs of instincts and thought processes that hadn't seen the light of day in almost twenty years, and she frowned as she thought over what the ANBU had told her.

Her little Sasuke and his team had been missing for almost two weeks.

Family was always notified three days after the last deadline.

Itachi was now in charge of a search-and-rescue mission.

Family was always notified after three days.

Itachi was asking for her help.

Family. Notified. Three days. _Always_.

_'But Fugaku ad Shisui never said anything,'_ she thought, and her eyes began to narrow as her thoughts went faster and faster as her suspicions grew. _'Did they dare to actually keep something like this from me?'_

Lin could see it in her eyes the second that Mikoto reached her conclusion and her decision, and he smirked secretly behind his ANBU mask. That Uchiha Itachi really was one dangerously smart bastard. He now also understood the very specific way he'd been instructed to break the news to Uchiha Mikoto, and damn it if it hadn't worked too. From this point forwards there was going to be some serious upheaval within the Uchiha Clan.

_'Probably even more before Uchiha Itachi is done with them.'_

**XV**

_It was more of a corridor than a room, really. A very long corridor, barely lit by one single and weak light bulb at the very end, hanging without a lampshade of any sort, just naked bulb and wire. The walls themselves, along with the ceiling, were covered in thick steel plates, making the corridor seem even narrower than it was. The plates were old and covered with brownish rust, but they held as __strong__as ever and the floor was made out of hard, cold, unforgiving concrete. It was an insanely cold, damp, and dark place, but that wasn't the worst things around._

The ground was littered with skeletons of previous inhabitants of the corridor, with bones covered with rust or greenish algae-like growth, while others were right in the middle of decomposing and rotting, their innards wet and juicy, and

_slowly __spreading across the ground. All the corpses and skeletons were placed in groups of three, and none of them were taller than your average ten to twelve-year-old._

"This place is creepy

_,__" Sakura muttered, her teeth chattering, and rubbed her arms. None of the three gennin were dressed appropriately at all – through no fault of __t__he__i__r own. Before she'd been thrown down here, she'd been stripped down to her panties, though Sakura was lucky enough be allowed to retain her bra. Sasuke and Naruto were completely naked apart from their boxers._

And Kakashi-sensei wasn't here either. They had no idea what had happened to him.

Naruto was at the far end of the corridor, by the entrance, trying to find a way out of there, but he wasn't having much luck really. Besides, he was freezing too, and he found himself not wanting to stay in the dark all alone while Sasuke and Sakura soaked up the weak light at the other end. The blond had never figured himself to be afraid of the darkness – he was a top-notch shinobi! He couldn't afford

_to __be afraid of the dark like some brat! – but right now, that very same fear was slowly creeping up on him from all sides, slowly building up inside him and making him antsy and twitchy._

With a silent curse, the blond headed back towards his two companions, carefully stepping around the corpses that littered the ground, and there were a lot of them. "I couldn't find any way out," he muttered to the other two, "but I think I know why we're all feeling weak. The walls, floor and ceiling must've been covered with hundreds of those chakra-sucking ofuda from Snow Country."

"L-little paper slips couldn't hold m-much chakra. He must have some f-form of generator to store it all

_,__" Sasuke stuttered, though personally he wasn't sure if it was due to habit or to the cold. "B-but th-that kind of preparation means that he's been planning t-to kidnap a t-team of shinobi for a long while now!"_

Sakura shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, not that it helped much. "What does this guy want with us?"

Unexpectedly Sakura's question actually got a reply. The sound of static filled the air, and a very old speaker

_system came to life. The voice that came through was unrecognisable – mostly due to the bad quality of the equipment – but the words were more than clear enough for the three shinobi-in-training._

"I want you to choose," came

_ the voice__ through the speaker__system. "Two of you will leave here alive, one of you will die. You choose."_

**XV**

There, done. Please tell me what you think.

I hope you liked the last bit there with Team Seven. I couldn't help myself, and I hope it isn't too terrifically terrible.

The Akatsuki and Orochimaru? Yes, I do believe they will show up, but now anytime soon.

For those of you who commented on it: yes, Itachi has displayed a dislike towards serial killers, and he did liken the shinobi to those. However, he is not going to let that get in the way of him working with shinobi to save his little brother. They are family! And as for Itachi trusting the three ANBU to suggest people for the team, well, that one is obvious. Itachi hasn't been in the shinobi world long enough to know the minute details and what would be best, so of course he's going to take advice from other people.

Thanks to:

Meiroh, Rayden Athene, KiraDemon, kerricarri, vanchagreen, wingsofeagle, Kiira, SnickyPop, BasicallyAnIdiot, Fate, Morrolan, Ladyrouge214, redfoxmoon, ObsedianEbony, Chiichobi, The Phan Ghost, Phoenix Eternia, WESTMAN AND L, Chosha Kurenai, xRosePetalx, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Antifishestablishmentarianist, The Sleeping Creature, Airily, Rayar, Sakiku, ladylookslikeadude, Yurrei, animelava, Firedraike08, aki, notBald, Cant Namemyself, baow, SakuraCa, PurpleKiwi, Articlove, Evelyn Lucia, poetic love, sesshoumaru4me, futilelives, Slayer End, x. n'import.e, Judah, stupid thing, sakuralovexox, J.F.C., Lightning Skies, and xTxNxLx.


	16. Chapter 16

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:**I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:**Sorry about the long wait. It's not exactly a very action-filled chapter ahead, but it's important! Enjoy!

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 16**

There was not much time to waste for the three that remained behind after Lin left, and Itachi was determined not to lose more time than they already had. They couldn't afford something like that. So, after only a short powwow, the remaining trio split up with Satoshi, who left to see if he could track Team Seven's route from the tea-house. Meanwhile Itachi and Yamato headed towards the biggest village in the vicinity, which was where the local daimyo lived.

"We need to get in touch with not only the local police force, or whatever passes as one, but also the local lord or whatever," the seventeen-year-old said. "They can give us more information and they need to be aware of our work in order to not get in the way."

"The local authorities of the Elemental Countries are not the same as the ones you are used to from the Otherworld," Yamato warned. "Do not expect much from them. We'll be lucky if they will be able to help us much with anything."

Itachi snorted. "As long as they are better than the Uchiha Police Force – and that is not too difficult – we'll get along perfectly well."

"The _Uchiha_Police Force?" the ANBU raised an eyebrow.

"In my opinion there is nothing about the police force that marks it as an organization that serves the village. It is run and controlled solely by the Uchiha Clan, and therefore it serves the clan first and foremost."

Yamato nodded in understanding, knowing he wasn't the only one to have had those very same thoughts before. But it was different to have an Uchiha of all people put a voice to those very same thoughts – even though this particular Uchiha was as different as they come from the rest of his clan. Shaking off his musings, the ANBU focused on the case at hand.

"Well then, let us get going. It will take us some time to get to the village, and then even more time to get to the daimyo – who we aren't even guaranteed to meet anytime soon."

"Wonderful," the teen muttered, then sighed. "Alright, Yamato, lead the way and I shall follow as best I can."

The ANBU nodded and jumped straight up into the tree he had been standing under, waited for Itachi to join him and then set off through the trees, occasionally stopping to wait for the younger male to catch up, or doubling back in order to keep Itachi from falling to his death far below. All in all, the journey was surprisingly fast, and it was a silent journey since both Itachi and Yamato were deep in thought about what was happening.

They didn't enter the village at once, but rather stopped on a branch, high up in a tree that stood on a small but steep hill and looked down into the valley where the village was situated. Rice fields and pastures surrounded the village, an occasional tree dotting the land all the way towards the village walls. And as for the village itself, it was much bigger than Itachi had expected. It was more of a small town, bustling and hustling with activity, and the daimyo's castle stood right in the middle though it was smaller than the teenager had envisioned.

_'I've seen far too many movies,'_Itachi thought to himself. "This is it, huh? How are we going to get inside and talk to the daimyo?"

"Lord Yoshinori is more sensible than most of the aristocrats you'll meet, and much more involved with his province and the villages and peoples under his jurisdiction. He will help us," Yamato replied. "However, his subjects most certainly won't be happy with shinobi showing up and sticking our noses into things, especially after such a long time of us ignoring them and their situation."

"Yeah, this won't be easy at all," the teen sighed to himself, silently cursing the incompetence of the Uchiha Clan to the seventh level of hell. "Well, since I don't know much about royalty and such, you will have to take the lead until the daimyo agrees to talk to us. I should think that a Konoha ANBU investigating a ten year old case on his doorstep will get his attention."

"It will. However, we have to go through dozens of courtiers and vassals before we even get to Lord Yoshinori, and _they_might become very annoying and hindering."

"Wonderful."

The two left the tree and appeared again on the road that led to the village gates. Taking Yamato's lead, Itachi slowed down to a walk a good while before they reached the gates to keep from alarming the guards that stood there. People that worked in the rice fields or were herding sheep or cows stared wide-eyed at the fully uniformed ANBU and the black-haired teenager that were walking towards the gates. The guards stopped them the second the duo came close enough, and, as he'd said, Itachi let the ANBU handle the talking, and instead spent his time watching the guards and the people passing by.

The guards weren't high enough on the food chain to keep them there or truly stop them, but they weren't about to let two shinobi walk around their village without supervision, so two of the four guards accompanied – read: treated them like prisoners being led to the guillotine – all the way up to where the daimyo lived, where new guards that were dressed in better and more fancy uniforms and armour took over. These then led Itachi and Yamato to the Chief of the Guards.

"What brings you here?" the man asked straight out, not bothering with any flowery speeches or useless talk about the weather.

"The ten year long case about the disappearing children." Yamato replied, equally blunt.

The Chief of the Guards looked up, one of his eyebrows rising, and the other guards in the room looked surprised. They shared looks and low whispers about exactly why the shinobi would suddenly take an interest in a case which they'd never paid any attention to before. Luckily – though obviously curious – the Chief of the Guards didn't waste any more time and simply picked out a veteran, who showed Itachi and Yamato through the winding corridors of the castle to the room where Lord Yoshinori greeted and welcomed and discussed with all his guests. Another guard had been sent off to find the lord and his vassals, and Itachi and Yamato had to wait under the careful eyes of the guards in the room until the daimyo appeared.

"I had expected more questions from the Chief of the Guards," Itachi said quietly to Yamato while they waited, "questions about why now after all this time. And especially questions about who the hell we are and a thorough search for weapons that could be used to assassinate the daimyo."

"He is a warrior, and he knows when to ask questions and when haste is of the most importance."

"With that thinking any old shinobi can dress up in a Konoha uniform and waltz into this castle and murder everyone here before anyone realises the mistake."

"Of course not," Yamato almost snorted. "There are Konoha shinobi all over this place acting as guards."

Itachi blinked and looked around. "Really?"

The ANBU nodded. "Shinobi that are getting closer to retirement and those that need to take some time off away from the main village and the missions there, are sent to guard the local lords and to the castle of the Fire Lord to unwind. There are also other shinobi stationed here for various reasons, and if we need them we can always call them back to active duty. They make a first class way of guarding the lords and also keep us updated on the happenings at courts. All chuunin will have to serve at least a month in the forces of the daimyo before they are allowed to advance to jounin rank."

The teen nodded. "That does make sense, but it still seems to lack in security. However, that could just be my opinion since I haven't been here long enough."

The sound of rapidly approaching voices and footsteps broke the conversation between the two shinobi, and sliding doors on the right wall of the room slid open to let Lord Yoshinori and his vassals enter the room. They were all dressed in rich, fancy kimonos and most of them were of greying hair and with round bellies. The newly arrived group – five in all – didn't bother to greet the two shinobi, but settled on pillows on the floor, and then turned to stare at the ANBU and the FBI agent.

Yamato took the lead again, and approached the lord and his vassals before he dropped into a traditional kneeling position, bowing low but no more than he absolutely had to. Itachi did the same, sitting a step or so behind the ANBU and to his right. The teen had never met a lord before and he had no idea what to do in this situation, so he settled on observing everyone around him until Yamato brought him into the conversation.

"We have been told," the vassal on the far right began, "that you have come here on a mission."

"Hai," replied Yamato.

"A mission that involves missing children," continued the vassal.

"Hai." The ANBU didn't look up from the floor, though Itachi had no doubt that he knew about every little movement made in this room and the corridors.

"A mission that is to investigate and find out what has happened with the children that disappeared these last ten years."

"Hai."

"And why now, after all these years, have you _shinobi_finally decided to stand up and take notice of this?" the vassal suddenly demanded, frowning darkly. Lord Yoshinori – who sat in the middle – frowned as well, but didn't say anything or stop the vassal.

Another vassal spoke up. "For ten years we have been losing our children periodically, and you did nothing!"

"Daughters and sons, brothers and sisters have been lost because of you!"

The vassals continued to heap abuses and accusations on the two shinobi that kneeled in front of them, and Itachi frowned darkly as he stared at the floor. Oh, he knew that not all disappearances that were being laid at their feet had a connection to the case – it didn't add up with the numbers that the young woman had given him at the tea-house – but all these instances going without any sort of investigation was simply shocking. It made him downright angry thinking of the Uchiha Clan whose job it was to deal with such things, and yet they did nothing but sit on their arses all day long.

Lord Yoshinori finally spoke up after the vassals had ranted themselves out for a while. "Countless times have we asked for your help, shinobi, and nothing has been done, so why are you here now? What has happened that finally pushed you to take action?" the lord's voice was deeper and had more authority, and it was obvious that he hadn't asked them a question, but had ordered them to reply and give a damn good reason too.

_'What does one say in this kind of situation?'_ Itachi wondered, looked at Yamato's tense back from the corner of his eye. _'Say that the case file was lost in the nonexistent file-room of the Konoha Police Force, and they will be insulted. Say that the disappearance of a Konoha gennin team is the only reason the main body of the shinobi and the Hokage even know about the case and they will be insulted. We need these people to work with us and not against us, and yet here we are, caught between a rock and a hard place.'_

To Itachi it was obvious that Yamato had reached the same conclusion as he had, and that they weren't really in good standing with Lord Yoshinori and his vassals. That was further emphasized by the vicious frowns and degrading looks that were boring holes in the two shinobi.

_'This is swell. Just swell__,__'_ the FBI agent thought sarcastically. _'We haven't even really started investigating, and we're already hitting snags. When I next see Uchiha Fugaku or Uchiha Shisui I'm going to give them a piece of my mind. Painfully. Let's see just how many kids they'll be able to have once I'm done with them.'_

Yamato had reached a decision on what to tell Lord Yoshinori while Itachi had been thinking, and now the ANBU straightened himself into a normal sitting position. "Almost two weeks ago a Konoha gennin team disappeared on the way home from a mission in the Land of Waves," the ANBU said, carefully choosing his words, but he got no further than that for the vassals roared up in protest and anger.

"What? So that is the only reason that you are here, inquiring about the lost children?"

"Now I understand why the shinobi of Konoha have suddenly taken an interest in this!"

"How can you even know that the disappearance of your gennin team has anything to do with the disappearance of the children?"

"Yes. You shinobi always say that your lives are filled with more danger in one breath than a civilian's is in one lifetime. How can you be certain that your little precious team hasn't simply fell afoul of other shinobi?"

"Hateful creatures. If you weren't needed, I would recommend putting you all to death."

Itachi felt a muscle in his brow twitch. That last comment had been totally unnecessary, and the vassal that had uttered it would've been singing a different tune if he'd been attacked and there were no shinobi around to guard him, but right now that was a moot point. Hoping he wasn't committing some grave insult, the black-haired man rose from his bow until he sat as straight-backed as Yamato, staring right at the furious vassals and daimyo.

"All we know is that at this moment we know nothing," he said, his voice and face as emotionless as he could make them. "We do not know if the disappearance of the Konoha gennin team has anything to do with the disappearance of the children. But we intend to find out."

"And if you find out?" Lord Yoshinori asked. "If it turns out that the two disappearances have nothing at all in common? What then? Will you find your team and go back to Konoha and forget about the missing children?"

"Whether the two cases are connected or not, I promise that we will find out what has happened with your children."

One of the vassals snorted angrily. "You promise? What can you promise, boy? You seem hardly old enough to be anything but a gennin yourself! You cannot make promises that you will not keep! Learn your place!"

"Uchiha Itachi-san is a tokubetsu shinobi," Yamato spoke up in Itachi's defence. "And he's our leader during this mission."

The vassals stared in surprise. They'd been expecting the ANBU to be the leader, and Itachi and Yamato hadn't given them reason to think anything else. It had been a logical conclusion on their part, but now they doubted. If this teen could lead ANBU around, then perhaps... And though they had no idea what exactly a tokubetsu shinobi was or did, it sounded really special.

Lord Yoshinori leaned forwards. "Tell me then, Uchiha Itachi-san, why are you here?"

"To ask for your permission to move about freely in these lands while we investigate the disappearances, and to ask for aid from the locals should we need it in the future."

The lord nodded thoughtfully. "You said that all you know is that you know nothing about this all, and that you only suspect these two cases of being intertwined. You have no idea where your team was taken, only that it was on the way back from the Land of the Waves, and you have not been here long enough to investigate the disappearances in the surrounding villages. This could all be a coincidence. So what _do_you know?"

"I may not yet know much about all that has happened here or to the Konoha gennin team, but I do know that I don't believe in coincidences of this size."

Several of the vassals snorted at the reply, but Lord Yoshinori nodded again, and finally sighed. "You have my permission to move around these lands freely as long as nothing happens to my subjects. And I demand to be regularly updated on the progress of the situation."

"Of course, my lord." Itachi and Yamato bowed low again as the daimyo and the vassals left the room, and neither of the two shinobi had any doubt that soon rumours would be spreading around the surrounding lands like wildfire, potentially alerting the culprit – or culprits if it wasn't the same person that had done it.

"Was that wise?" Yamato asked as they left Lord Yoshinori's castle and headed out of the village.

"Was what wise?"

"Bluffing like this. After all, they are right. All these disappearances could have absolutely nothing to do with each other, they _could_be a coincidence."

Itachi nodded as they finally left the village and headed down the road. They would have to set up a temporary headquarters soon, and it had to be more or less in the middle of the rough circle made by the villages so that it would be easy to travel wherever they were needed. But first they had to find out if they were on the right track at all.

"I did not bluff, Yamato. You cannot tell me that you think this all a complete coincidence, you being a shinobi and all. But you are right, we need to verify the possible connection between the cases first. And to do that we need to talk to the families that have lost children." He pulled out the map from a pocket. Along the red dots that marked the villages, there were now seven villages that also had a number written beside them in roman numerals which indicated how many children had gone missing from that particular village.

Yamato leaned in and looked at the map, then pointed to a red dot. "This is the closest village," he said. "If we hurry we can get there in an hour or so, and have enough time to talk to the families there. The meeting with Lord Yoshinori went much better than I had expected, and we didn't waste much time with the vassals, which surprised me. We were lucky."

"Heh, I suppose that even politicians know when to temporarily stop acting like idiotic babies," Itachi muttered with a smirk, and nodded. "Alright, let's be off then. The sooner we get to this village and talk to the families, the better."

**XVI**

The village was smaller than the one Lord Yoshinori lived in, but it still had impressive defences for such a small place. And now that he knew what to look for, Itachi spotted several of the guards on the walls which he thought could be shinobi. There was just something different about a shinobi's attitude, something different in their eyes that put them apart from most of the other guards. Either way, Itachi was sure that he'd pegged down a couple of them. It helped that all the guards – on the walls and in the streets – stared suspiciously at the two of them as they made their way throughout the village.

Since neither of them actually had an idea about which families had lost children, they had to stop someone and ask. They chose two old gossiping ladies, and Itachi approached them with his most charming smile. Old people could be tough to get to talk, and he only hoped that they wouldn't lose too much time here.

The two elderly ladies were very kind and very eager to provide any information Itachi might need – even without the teen actually asking about it. And the second that the FBI agent turned his back to go back to the waiting Yamato, the two ladies were hobbling off towards their friends to spread the rumours about the shinobi that were asking about the disappearing children. Itachi had no doubt that by the time he and Yamato finished talking with the first family, the entire village would have found some reason to loiter about right outside the house, trying to listen to the conversation.

The family lived in a small apartment building, on the third floor, and the other tenants stared with wide eyes and whispered as Itachi and Yamato knocked on the door and waited for it to open. The woman who opened it was far too young to have lost a child in the last ten years, she looked no older than Itachi himself.

"Pardon us, miss, we were under the impression that the Shibuya family lived here? The family that lost a twelve-year-old boy eight years ago?" Itachi said, the last part he'd been told by the two gossiping old ladies.

"I am Shibuya Mai," the teenage girl said. "And the boy who went missing was my brother. Now, who are you? Why are you here?"

"Shibuya-san, we are shinobi from Konohagakure. I was wondering if we could ask you some questions about your brother's disappearance?"

The girl stared at the two men on her doorstep for a while, obviously wondering why they came to ask questions now after all this time, but shrugged and let them in. "Sure, whatever. I don't remember much, I was only seven then."

"Anything will be of help to us," Itachi said as he entered and toed off his shoes, then he looked back at the ANBU when Yamato didn't follow, and raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"I'll be right outside the window," Yamato answered the unspoken question and disappeared. It had already been proven that people felt much more comfortable with only Itachi around, and he could easily disguise himself as a part of the wall and use chakra to stick to the wall beside the window and listen to what was being said inside.

Shibuya Mai had obviously been right in the middle of reading a book, and she but a bookmark in it before placing it on the coffee table. With a sigh, she slumped down on the couch, looking for all the world as though this was not something that interested her. "Get on with it and ask your questions."

"Can you tell me what happened the day your brother disappeared?" Itachi asked as he sat down on the small footstool by the couch. This placed him lower than where the girl was sitting, and it made him look less intimidating. He didn't want Shibuya Mai to suddenly clam up.

"I don't remember much about it at all," Mai replied. "I don't see how it can help you, but alright. As I said, I was seven that year. My brother was out playing with two friends of his, and our parents started getting worried when none of them came back for dinner – or, at least, I think it was around dinnertime. By evening the entire village was worried and they organised a search party, but found nothing. My brother and the two kids he was with were gone."

"They found nothing? No tracks? No clothes? No indications of a fight?"

She shook her head. "Nothing at all. And a day later we got a letter from my brother, saying something about a last-minute decision to visit our aunt in another village. But since they didn't show up at my aunt's we assumed they'd simply run away, or something. My brother had always wanted to become a shinobi, but my parents wouldn't let him. Huh, now that you mention it, I remember that they had a large argument about it the day before."

Itachi nodded thoughtfully. "You said that you got a letter? Do you still have it?"

"No. I burned it. Its existence only brought pain to my mother, and she didn't need that."

"But you are sure that it mentioned a last-minute decision to visit your aunt?"

Shibuya Mai snorted. "Of course I am. My mother read it out loud so many times and cried over it so much that it destroyed her."

A few more questions revealed no new information, and Itachi thanked the girl and bid her a good day. Outside the other tenants of the building quickly dispersed when he exited the Shibuya apartment, and then congregated again as soon as he'd passed out of sight, gossiping. Yamato was waiting for him right outside the building, leaning against a tree in a little green patch on the opposite side of the street. The ANBU was well concealed and if Itachi hadn't expected the man to be there, he wouldn't have spotted him.

"What do you think?" Itachi asked him.

"They got a letter telling of a last-minute decision to visit another village," the ANBU replied. "It could be nothing, and it could be everything."

The black-haired teen nodded. "Nothing is conclusive yet, but this bears further investigating. We need to talk to the other two families whose children disappeared with the young Shibuya-boy. Let's go, the next house is just a street over."

The people of the village almost stalked them to the next house, making the two shinobi share an amused and annoyed look. Honestly, you'd think the two of them were made out of the purest gold, or had three heads and green tentacles, or something such. It'd been normal then, but as it was, it was only somewhat freaky. Especially since Yamato was a twitchy shinobi who didn't like being stalked. This time, Itachi decided to force the man to come inside as well lest they end up with the ANBU killing off half the village to make them stop staring.

_'I don't think it'll come to that, but it's a funny thought__,__'_ the FBI agent thought to himself as he knocked on the door of the designated house. This wasn't an apartment building, but a house in a row of terraced houses. _'These people need to get doorbells. Before this is all over and done with, my knuckles will be sore and bleeding.'_

An elderly woman with greying hair opened the door. "Yes? Can I help you?"

"Good afternoon, Sasaki-san. We are shinobi from Konohagakure, and I was wondering if we could ask you some questions about your daughter's disappearance eight years ago?"

**XVI**

There, please tell me what you think.

Several of you mentioned that the last scene with Team Seven in the previous chapter was almost the same as a scene from the Saw-movies, but I can tell you right now that it is not. I am a coward, and I have never seen those movies and never will, so simply forget them. And who said that that scene was in synch with the rest of the timeline in the chapter? It was all written in italics, and so far italics have indicated flashbacks in this story. Yes, I'm being evil and not telling you what the condition of Team Seven is at the present point in time.

Thanks to:

RedGummies, poetic love, wingsofeagle, BasicallyAnIdiot, Judah, Ladyrouge214, ObsidianEbody, Hiira, lildevil425, Key Shinigami, xDelta-Ha-chanx, vanchagreen, umino-gaara, Phoenix Eternia, Chibi-Chaaan, Akalon, swordbunny4486, sakuralovexox, WingsOfFate, (...), yumeniai, v, Slayer End, Meiroh, stupid thing, Snake of Medusa, The Sleeping Creature, kerricarri, SnickyPop, Morrolan, Tharanee, Hitokiri Onibi, minniemousemom, cjonbloodletter, xRosePetalx, ButterflyOnna77, ladylookslikeadude, CrazyGirlofManyNames, Gabriel Schwrbrg, I_Have_No_Account ;-;, 11OneDone2Many, HK-Revan, alolha123, hey, Bob the Almighty, my-black-star, AnonymoustheFirst, frzntears, art consumer, UfailATlifenowDIE, yaoi kitsune, ReenaYuki-hime, rogue solus, ByLanternLight, Nothing Special, Dark Reborn, None, and Nyan Rajanu.


	17. Chapter 17

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the long time between updates people. I try to update sooner but things just don't want to work out at times.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 17**

To tell the truth there was little for Itachi and Yamato to do until the rest of the team showed up. Of course, the two of them interviewed as many people as they could and tried to get a proper picture of the disappearances during the past ten years, and the two of them visited each and every village in the vicinity that had lost children. However, some people had moved far away, some people had died, some people were so old that they didn't remember anything anymore, and some people were too bitter when it came to shinobi and didn't want to talk to the two of them at all. No, apart from talking to people there was little the two of them could do until they got a hold of the reports brought along from the Konoha Police Force.

Yamato also had a messenger bird stashed away somewhere – honestly, Itachi had absolutely no idea where the falcon was. It just showed up when needed, and that was kind of freaky – that he used to keep in contact with Satoshi. The ANBU that was trying to track down Team Seven's last movements was having quite a lot of trouble, and not only because he was trying to track down a team of shinobi. It had rained two days after Itachi and Yamato had parted with Satoshi and Lin, and it had become muddy and most tracks on the ground had been washed away. If the Inuzuka and her dog didn't arrive soon, then the scent of Team Seven would be far too faint for even a top notch nin-dog to pick up, and then they would really be in trouble.

"This is taking too long," Itachi said suddenly as they travelled between two of the villages. They were nearly done with the interviews and the rest of the team hadn't showed up yet. "Could you send a message to Lin and those with him, and tell him to send the Inuzuka, Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Mikoto to Satoshi so that they can help him search for clues?"

Yamato nodded. "Of course. Are you sure they won't be needed to search through the files from the Konoha Police Force?"

"It would be faster if they were all here to help, yes," Itachi admitted, "but we don't have time to waste. The Inuzuka was brought along just for the purpose of searching for Team Seven, and Neji's x-ray eyes are of more use when searching than reading files. He can see underground and through walls, so it's obvious for him to be searching actively."

"And what about Mikoto-san?" the ANBU asked curiously.

The black-haired teen sighed. "I don't think she'd ever be able to sit still and concentrate long enough to be of any use reading reports or file after file. Her maternal instincts will be more at ease if she can actively go out and search for Sasuke."

Though that very same thing could've been said about Itachi since he was Sasuke's older brother, Yamato didn't mention it. Instead the ANBU Captain nodded again. "I'll send Lin a message. He will send a warning to Satoshi that Inuzuka and Hyuuga and Uchiha Mikoto are coming his way. And if Mikoto-san isn't there with the group, Lin will send her a message and tell her where to go."

"Good. And in the meantime, let us finish these interviews. It will help us weed out the files brought along from Konoha."

"You go on to the village and start the interview, and I'll go and send the message. I'll meet up with you afterwards."

Itachi didn't even have time to nod before the other man was gone within the blink of an eye, silent as a shadow. It was still incredibly freaky for the young FBI agent to see people appear or disappear so silently and so quickly. Hell, it was still weird to move around in speeds that far surpassed even an Olympic runner! Several laws of physics had to be broken to do something like that – the G-forces involved should present quite a problem! – and yet, no one seemed to care.

'_Well, I can understand why no one cares.'_ Itachi thought to himself and sped up, wanting to reach the next village as quickly as possible. _'It's incredible fun to jump high into the trees with only one jump. Or jump out of a five-storey building and not end up as a human pancake. Especially enjoyable is the shock on normal civilian faces when they see a shinobi suddenly jump out of a tall building and fear that he's about to commit suicide.'_

**XVII**

He'd written down pertinent information from each interview in the small writing pad he always carried with him – those hip-pouches that the shinobi were fond of were really useful! – and so far he'd done his best to organise things. He'd written the names of the children that had disappeared together at the same time and where families had received a letter in one column, with dates in another, hoping that some sort of pattern would emerge.

'_And, __unsurprisingly enough, a pattern did emerge. People can never be random as long as they try to be random__,__'_ Itachi thought to himself. He was sitting outside a little restaurant in the last village, having finished with the last of the interviews in that particular place. He was still waiting for Yamato to return, and had decided to sit down and to go through all the information he had so far.

"Here you go, sir!" a cute young waitress, dressed in the same type of yukata as all the others that worked in the restaurant, said as she brought the tea and dango that Itachi had ordered. She put the small tray on the bench beside Itachi and bowed. "Is there anything else I can get you, sir?"

"No, thank you," the black-haired teen replied politely, though his focus was mostly on the little writing pad and what was written there.

"Alright, please do not hesitate to call if you need anything," the waitress almost chirped and then skipped off to serve someone else.

Itachi only nodded, not really concerned when she ran off. He had just noticed something while leafing through his little notepad. The nameless woman who had pointed out how many children had gone missing from which village some days ago, had done something... weird. She'd pointed out exactly how many children had gone missing from each village where the parents received a letter. She hadn't even mentioned the other cases of disappearances that had happened over the years.

'_Now, how exactly did she know the exact number of children when so many have gone missing?'_ the seventeen-year-old wondered as he sipped the tea and munched on a red dango. _'I would like to speak to this woman again in the future. I would also like to get her name. What an idiot I am, to have forgotten to ask for such a basic thing as name and address.'_ Itachi sighed. _'I thought I could still be at the top of the game, but Sasuke's disappearance has affected me more than I wanted it to. It is hindering me in my work. Damn it!'_

He watched the village people pass by the restaurant, leaning back on the wall of the building but making sure that he didn't tilt the rough, wooden bench too far so that the tray with his tea and dango didn't slide off. Itachi wasn't ignorant to what some shinobi might think about being led by a mere tokubetsu shinobi, and he was quite sure that Lin would've flayed him for the stupid mistake of letting the woman go without getting her name. Luckily the man wasn't there at the moment, and Itachi got to berate himself silently.

The FBI agent was right in the middle of giving himself a stern talking-to and walkthrough of basic police procedure when interviewing people, when someone walked up to him, and it was not Yamato or another of the shinobi. It was a total stranger, a man in his mid to late twenties, and he was dressed in typical travelling clothes, with a backpack on his back.

"May I help you?" Itachi asked when the man simply continued to stand there, looking a bit awkward and nervous.

The man jumped slightly and chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Ahahahaha! I apologise, shinobi-san, if I have disturbed you, but I just had to stop by and meet you."

Itachi didn't react apart from raising an eyebrow.

The man hurried to explain himself, seeming more nervous by the minute. "Talk about why you are here in these villages has spread quickly, shinobi-san," he said, smiling a bit, his eyes forming happy little arches like in anime. "It is a very nice thing of you, to finally take interest in these little villages, and I just wanted to say that we all appreciate your work."

"Thank you, Mr...?" the teen trailed off pointedly, his manner politely friendly.

"Ah, I'm Sato Yozaburo. It is an honour to meet you, shinobi-san." The man bowed.

"Sato -san," Itachi nodded politely. He motioned to the bench beside him. "Will you sit down?"

"Oh no, I couldn't! I don't want to disturb your work further; I just wanted to drop by. I live in the village next to this one, so if you ever want to talk to someone please do not hesitate to stop by. I'd be happy to help you out as best I can. However, the market is closed now and my wife awaits me at home with dinner."

"Ah, of course. It was nice to meet you, Sato-san, and have a nice afternoon." Itachi nodded politely, and watched as the nervous man walked away down the street. It wasn't the first time a curious local person had decided to drop by and say hi to Itachi and Yamato, and this wouldn't be the last time either. Of course people were curious when their long-term problems with children going missing was finally being investigated by a team of high-ranking shinobi.

'_Then why the hell does that man remind me so much of that Ichimaru Gin-character from the _Bleach_ manga?'_ Itachi thought to himself, his eyes staying on the retreating Sato Yozaburo until he lost the man in the crowds.

"I apologise for being late, Itachi-kun."

Yamato's voice suddenly coming from his right drew the black-haired teen out of his thoughts, and he turned to look at the older shinobi. "Ah, don't worry about it."

"Did something happen?" the older man asked curiously. "You were staring at someone quite intently."

"I just had another one of those curious-villagers experiences. It's nothing." Itachi ate the last of his dango and swallowed the last of his tea. _'At least, I think it's nothing.'_

The ANBU Captain nodded in understanding. "I have sent the message to Lin. He should receive it tomorrow morning at the latest. What do we do until the rest arrive?"

"The only thing we can do. Continue with the interviews and wait." The teen stood up – his example quickly copied by the older man – and Itachi left enough of the Fire Country coinage to pay for the snack he'd had. "Let's go."

"Hai."

Though he didn't have even one fifth of the speed of the ANBU with him, Itachi still felt proud of the way he managed the disappearing act. The shocked and surprised look on the young waitress's face when the two of them had stood there one minute and were gone in the blink of an eye was priceless.

**XVII**

He was a branch-house member of the Hyuuga, yes; and he was less than fond of the leader of the Hyuuga Clan, that was also true. He wasn't all that fond of his weak cousin Hinata, and usually didn't want to have anything to do with her apart from the occasional babysitting duty he was forced to do. At least Hinata didn't give him much trouble or demand things incessantly like Hanabi did. And Neji also admitted that though he was used to his gennin team and their sensei, he would've gladly done without the insanity all around. It was embarrassing to watch Lee and Gai!

So, in the end, Hyuuga Neji was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. He was far from stupid. Hell, he was considered a genius for a reason!

Some days ago he'd received a mission and was told to pack up and be ready within the hour. He hadn't had the time to truly look at the mission scroll and what the mission entailed until the first time that the group of shinobi made a break, and ever since then Neji had to admit that he was highly confused and befuddled.

'_Why the hell did I, of all people, end up on this mission?'_ the Byakugan user wondered as he struggled to keep pace with the grown shinobi all around him. There was an Inuzuka and her dog, an Aburame with his freaky bugs, and a healer nin. Uchiha Mikoto was also on the team, but she was a bit more than a day behind them since she'd had to go through some red tape and a few tests before she could be reinstated as a shinobi, and Neji's group was led by an ANBU.

'_There are others beside me who are excellent with their Byakugan,'_ the thirteen-year-old thought to himself. It may be a bit humbling to realize that he wasn't the best Byakugan user – quite yet – but he wasn't about to go fooling himself. _'And there are excellent Hyuugas out there who have a much higher rank than I do. So why the hell did they choose me?'_

The next time they took a break Neji decided to ask the ANBU about why he'd been chosen out of so many excellent Byakugan users. Sure, he was honoured and all, but it simply wasn't logical. Not only that, but no matter how much Neji pushed himself to keep up with the grown ninjas in his company, it was obvious that he was slowing them all down. Even the medic-nin in their company, who usually never left the hospital, was making better time than Neji.

Besides, apart from a short briefing about what the mission was about – finding the missing Team Seven and perhaps solving the on-going disappearances of children – the scroll didn't contain any information about who the leader of the mission was or any other particulars. At first Neji had thought that the ANBU known as Lin-san was the leader, but the masked man had quickly squashed those thoughts before they'd even left Konoha.

"The mission leader is waiting for us in a cluster of villages not far from the borders to the Land of the Waves," Lin had told them when they'd all been gathered together. "We must hurry. We cannot spare any time dawdling. Hyuuga-kun, if you're tired or cannot keep up, tell one of us and we will carry you. Right now, speed is much more important than your pride, and if you collapse from chakra-exhaustion because you are stubborn and refuse to ask for help, then we will leave you behind."

It had been a rather embarrassing moment for Neji, but he hadn't dared to anything else but nod in agreement. Meeting an ANBU so up-close – Uchiha Itachi didn't count because, quite frankly, Neji was starting to doubt that the insane bastard was an incognito ANBU – was certainly quite the experience and it took a little while before Neji had been able to work up enough courage to dare to approach Lin. Neji would deny that fact if someone were to ask him. He wasn't scarily in awe of the ANBU, he was merely being polite and not bothering the ANBU with questions. Contemplating his position in this group of shinobi, as it were. Yes, that's what he was doing.

'_Well, I've been contemplating enough. It's time to get some serious answers around here.'_ The white-eyed teen thought to himself and approached the ANBU in their group. The masked individual seemed utterly relaxed and almost asleep where he was sitting, but Neji knew the man was aware of his approach. "Lin-san? May I ask you a question?"

"You just did, but you may ask another one," Lin replied.

Neji nearly twitched, wondering why that reply reminded him so much of Uchiha Itachi, but then pushed these thoughts away and sat down in front of the ANBU. "I was wondering why I am here, ANBU-san. I mean, there are so many others much better than me at using the Byakugan, so why me specifically?"

"Because the mission leader wanted you specifically," came the reply.

"The mission leader wanted me?" the thirteen-year-old couldn't help but blink in surprise. Who the hell was insane enough to want an inexperienced gennin on a team of fully-trained, high-ranking shinobi? It had to be a mistake and was too late to rectify now, so the ANBU was probably trying to be kind. "If you do not mind me asking, exactly who is the mission leader? No one seems to know who the person is."

The ANBU stared at Neji through his cat-like mask, the red swirls on the mask standing out in sharp contrast to the white background, making Neji highly uncomfortable. Like a five-year-old who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or something. The young Hyuuga hadn't felt like that in years now, and it only seemed to heighten his awkwardness.

"The mission leader," Lin finally said, knowing that all the other people in the camp were listening in on it, "is Uchiha Itachi-san."

There was a short silence in the clearing as people registered this.

"The same Uchiha Itachi who was introduced to the shinobi world only some weeks ago?" the medic-nin asked in surprise, sounding doubtful.

"The boy must be very interesting," Inuzuka Tsume said with a smirk. Her nin-dog, Kuromaru, nodded in agreement, looking just as amused.

"Hmm," Aburame Shibi hummed thoughtfully.

As for Hyuuga Neji, well, the boy suddenly understood what bastard was insane enough to want a gennin in a high-ranking shinobi team. He was also quite certain that this mission was going to be anything but normal in any sense of the word. For where Uchiha Itachi went, so did insanity far worse than anything Gai or Lee could come up with, and the headaches weren't far behind either.

'_I hope I'll have enough time to pop into a pharmacy and buy some headache medication.' _The youngest shinobi there sighed heavily, rubbing his temples.

**XVII**

Lin did as ordered in the notes he'd received and had sent Neji and Tsume to help Satoshi, sending a note to his fellow ANBU to tell him that he was also getting Uchiha Mikoto. The woman in question was also made aware of where to go, and could thusly correct her pace and her direction and reach Satoshi quicker. And when Lin, Aburame Shibi and the medic-nin finally met up with Itachi and Yamato again, everyone was set to going through the innumerable files brought from the Konoha Police Force. Using his special skills, Yamato had created a wooden house for them to use as their HQ, and the files were spread all over the floor and any other available surface.

"Right then," Itachi said as he leafed through a random file, frowning when every other sheet of paper seemed to be from other cases that had absolutely nothing to do with the file's case. This was going to get confusing if they didn't organise themselves properly. "We need to get some order in this insanity, and here's what I'd like for you guys to do. First of all, we need to organise these things, put the paper in the proper files, and gather things the way they are supposed to be. Only then can we start sifting through this amount of paperwork in search of similar cases of children disappearing."

"Will you help out, Itachi-san?" the medic-nin wondered.

"I will help as much as I can, but I'm no good at reading or writing furigana or katakana, so you'd do much better without me," Itachi sighed. "And besides, I need to give Lord Yoshinori an update on how the investigation is going."

"Oh? Why?" the medic asked again as he absentmindedly picked up a few files.

Yamato was the one who answered. "Lord Yoshinori wanted to be kept in the loop in return for helping us when we need it, with manpower or otherwise."

"That sounds a bit... weird," the healer-nin – Rie by name – commented. "This is all still in Fire Country, so why do we have to bow to the wishes of a local, small-time lord?"

"It is always best to stay on the good side of the locals, as much as one can," Itachi said. It was obvious even to him that Rie wasn't one of those that was often out in the field, and that when Rie was out in the field he was usually one of the last to be called out and only to heal people. Otherwise the healer-nin probably didn't have much to do with the planning of things. "Well then, I'll be off now. Are you going to be able to handle all... this?"

Everyone stared at the veritable mountain of unorganized paperwork all over the room, and shinobi they may be, but the paperwork that awaited them was utterly horrifying and they shuddered.

"We'll be fine. Nothing a couple of kage bunshin can't help us with," Yamato said. "The question is will you be alright on your own?"

Itachi sent the man a dull look. "I can manage a five-minute trip to the daimyo's castle, I assure you."

"If you say so, but I was thinking about the vassals and other red-tape servants."

"Not even the devil himself could stop me," the black-haired teen said seriously, and he wasn't only thinking about getting to Lord Yoshinori but also about finding Team Seven.

Yamato accepted this and nodded. "Be careful."

"Always." With that Itachi exited from the wooden house and set off into the trees.

**XVII**

After two days of cataloguing the files, Itachi and everyone else were ready to commit massacre on the entire Konoha Police Force in revenge. Not only was everything so incredibly mixed that they weren't finished looking through things even with about five kage bunshin helping them out, but the reports themselves weren't all that detailed or well-written either. It was clear from the sloppy writing and informal wording and the personal opinions of the writers that everything had been done half-arsed.

"This is quite curious," Itachi remarked with a frown. He was helping out as well, but with his bad kanji-reading skills it took him thrice as long as everyone else to get through a file. "The further back in time one goes, the better the reports seem to be written. When was the police force started anyway?"

"I think it was Uchiha Fugaku's great grandfather who started it," Aburame Shibi said, his eyes never leaving the file in front of him as he leafed through it, taking out the sheets of paper that didn't belong there.

"I think old Uchiha Masato had just lost his arm and been forced to retire from being a shinobi when he started the force," Yamato added. "What's so curious about that?"

"Well, you can clearly see in these reports that the further you go back in time the better the reports are written. There are more details, the language is more formal, and everything is all over better." Itachi shook his head. "It's amazing just how quickly things can fall apart in only a few generations."

"Well, we have made a lot of headway with this despite the sheer amount of paperwork," Shibi briefly nodded towards the small neat pile of kidnap cases from this region. A little further from this small pile were several other piles of files, arranged by year and then by date and new ones were constantly added to these ever-growing piles. But at least it started to look as though they had some sort of control over things.

The black-haired FBI agent sighed tiredly but went back to trying to decipher what was written in the file that he was currently working with. All this reading through stupid, unorganized files helped his reading skills if nothing else, and that was the only up-side of the patented Uchiha Method of Filing – please note the sarcasm.

The work continued and luckily the pile of unorganized files seemed to get smaller, otherwise Itachi would've seriously considered creating a bonfire out of them all. By night time the shinobi and the created kage bunshin had managed to put to rights another year's worth of files, which got its own nice little pile right beside the others.

Itachi had just gone out of the house that Yamato had created, wanting to get some fresh air and also try to stymie the oncoming headache – hey, it was hard on his eyes when he had to focus so much to read something in Japanese, and especially since he had to decipher very badly written hiragana and katakana – when a bird cry announced the arrival of the falcon that the shinobi used as a messenger.

The bird floated down and landed on Itachi's shoulder, holding out a leg where a small holder was fastened, and in the holder was a small piece of paper. Feeling strangely like a character from the _Harry Potter_ novels, Itachi carefully retrieved the small piece of paper and unrolled it. It was short and written in simple, clear kanji that even Itachi didn't have trouble reading, but the message itself conveyed something that could be groundbreaking to the investigation itself. The FBI agent wasted no time and nearly wrenched the door to the wooden house out of its frame as he flung it open to look inside, meeting the surprised looks from the shinobi and kage bunshin in the room.

"Itachi-san. Is something wrong?" Yamato asked.

"Satoshi and his team have found Team Seven's last camping site, and they need us there urgently."

**XVII**

There you go, please tell me what you think!

Thanks to:

poetic love, frzntears, RozenMaiden14, Chibi-Chaaan, Phoenix Eternia, Ladyrouge214, Cant Namemyself, Slayer End, Ultra Sonic 007, ShadowHeart251, lildevil425, SnickyPop, Curtiz Zidane Ziraa, ObsidianEbony, Dark Reborn, 11OneDone2Many, Dracowar, weasel-is-a-cutie, xRosePetalx, minniemousemom, stupid thing, Tawariell, Lore or mess, Yurrei, tanith-4486, Morrolan, Fredrich, ChocolateBunnyChan, Mask of Lies, Wandering Hitokiri, Skedaddle-San, deviline12.1, Moonlite Knight, Inkwell of Stars, burgundy, and Diamone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I apologise for the time it took me to get this out.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 18**

Shinobi way of travel really was one of the fastest ways to get from point A to point B without using some form of vehicle that Itachi had ever come across. The ability to push chakra into your muscles and make them stronger, faster, and more durable was invaluable and the young FBI-agent found himself already depending on the ability more than should have been good for him. For heaven's sake, he was running faster than a top notch Olympic athlete and had kept it going for much longer than should have been possible at this pace!

'_Of course, that could be because all my companions are using the same skill and I need all my focus in order to keep up with them. That, and none of them will stare at me oddly because I'm running at the speed of __light,'_ he thought to himself as he pushed off yet another branch.

The group of Konoha shinobi were travelling through the trees, leaping from branch to branch to tree-trunk to branch again and then repeating the sequence as needed as they headed towards the coordinates that had been given as Team Seven's last known camping spot. None of the travellers were slowing down, Itachi having somehow managed to push himself ahead and run in the front lines, right behind Yamato who was in the lead.

This was far too serious a situation for them to slow down to make sure that the slower members of the group kept up.

What had happened? Why had it happened? When did it happen? How did it happen?

Questions like those kept on running through Itachi's head as they ran throughout the night. The second that he had burst into the temporary HQ with the news of the discovery of the camp, the shinobi inside had unrolled several storage scrolls and had sealed the police files in them, keeping them neatly organised and sparing the shinobi from having to go through and organising the files all over again. Then Yamato had done his funky jutsu thing and the tree house had disappeared, leaving absolutely no trace behind that the shinobi had ever been there, and then they had been off.

However, shinobi or not, it still took the group a long time to get to the camp site coordinates. They travelled for the entire night and a little bit of the morning too. They had to take a break and get some sleep otherwise they would have been totally useless once reaching the campsite. Itachi hated the time they wasted, hated that his body demanded sleep and hated that he was still tired after three hours of sleep. Of course, three hours weren't that much to begin with, but he needed to keep as clear a head as humanly possible and the short rest seemed only to have emphasized just how much he needed a good night's sleep.

"We will soon be there," Yamato suddenly spoke up, and Itachi could just feel the way that everyone in the group suddenly perked up at the news.

The young Hyuuga saw them approaching and the Inuzuka dog had smelled their arrival, so Satoshi and the other three with him were more than ready for them when Itachi and his group jumped down from the trees. They landed easily on the soft forest ground, and Itachi was damn glad that they were finally there. He wasn't certain just how much more he could have kept up using his chakra, he didn't exactly have much of it. Or much training in using it, and his muscles were aching not unlike what they did after an intense round of training.

"Mikoto-san has started a fire and is cooking breakfast for all of us," Satoshi said. "Take the time to eat and rest up a bit, and then we will go to the campsite," he motioned in a direction, "which is right through those trees there. You made very good time."

Itachi gratefully plunked down on a dry old log and gazed into the fire. There was a tent in the small clearing, barely big enough to hold two people comfortably, which meant that the shinobi had been keeping guard two and two in shifts. Inuzuka Tsume was just exiting the tent, her one-eyed dog-companion sniffing around the campsite a bit. Hyuuga Neji sat on one of the other logs around the fire, and Uchiha Mikoto smiled at Itachi before she went back to stirring in the small cauldron above the fire.

"We started going through the files from the Konoha Police Force," Yamato said while they were eating.

"Did you find anything?" Mikoto asked curiously. Neji looked curious as well.

"Apart from a horrifying lack of organisation skills – something which should be illegal?" Itachi snorted. "Unfortunately, yes, we did. Which means that the Uchiha Clan knew what was going on but never bothered to do any investigating into it."

Inuzuka Tsume frowned, the red tattoos on her face and her animal-like eyes making her seem all that fiercer. "They knew about it but didn't do anything about it?" she repeated, handing her bowl to Kuromaru so that the dog could lick it clean. "Are you serious?"

"Like a heart attack," Itachi brought his own bowl to his lips and drank up the rest of the food.

"I hope you don't intend to cover this up. The Hokage must know about this!" Satoshi's voice had a certain undertone of anger. Having it confirmed that the Uchiha knew and had documentation but still hadn't acted correctly was more than enough to get someone's blood boiling be they shinobi or not.

"The case against the force is built as the evidence comes in and this case progresses," Yamato replied seriously. He got to his feet. "Let us get to work."

Satoshi spoke up. "Wait a bit, Yamato-san, Itachi-san. That is no normal clearing, chakra-stealers are buried throughout the entire clearing and then some, and they activate the second someone with more chakra than your average civilian steps foot on the ground."

The shinobi all looked very glum at those news.

Itachi frowned. "Chakra-stealers?" he inquired.

Mikoto was the one who explained. "A chakra-stealer is a device that comes from the Snow Country," she said. "It is round and flat with several tubes with needles at the point sticking out from around, and it looks rather like a spider. When the needles are stuck into skin, it will suck your chakra out of you – slowly or fast, depending on what is wanted – and in the end it will kill you if not removed in time. There are some seals that mimic the same effect, but such a seal cannot kill and it will suppress the chakra rather than actually remove it from your body."

Lin snorted contemptuously. There was obviously no love for chakra-stealers amongst the shinobi. "And you tell us that the entire clearing is covered with those things?"

Inuzuka Tsume nodded. "Somehow someone got a hold of a lot of those things and buried them all over that particular clearing. They managed to alter those things enough so that they suck the chakra out of you without even touching you – the theory is that the abominations sucks it out of you through the ground, but it does nothing when you are in a tree – and the second that some suitable victims came by the perpetrator turned the stealers on and the shinobi camping there would be helpless to do anything."

The one-eyed Kuromaru growled beside her. "All they would have to do was wait for the shinobi to pass out from lack of chakra, turn off the trap and go in and get the young gennin pups."

"But what about Kakashi? He must have held out longer than Team Seven, and where is he now?" Itachi asked.

"After first connecting all the chakra-stealers together it wouldn't be hard to up the force and speed of stealing on those around Kakashi, knocking him out first or at the same time as the gennin," Yamato said. "Deadly as those stealers are they are also very simple in construction."

"And either the perpetrator caught Kakashi with the young gennin or he has most likely killed Kakashi while he was asleep."

"Damn," the young FBI-agent rubbed his face with a hand. Then he sighed heavily. "I would still like to see the clearing – I promise to stay on the branches above ground – and if you have any paper to draw one of those chakra-stealers on, I would like to see what it looks like in real life."

The shinobi nodded and the medic-nin took out some paper and pens from his pack. It was a medical form, but on the back he started sketching a chakra-stealer. He had never seen one before, but Inuzuka Tsume, Aburame Shibi, Lin, Satoshi and the others sat around him and gave him directions on what it looked like.

"Neji, I would like for you to come with me," Itachi said as he stood up and stretched. "Your eyes can see exactly how many of those things there are in the ground and any special marks or clues on them, and that could be important."

"I will come too." Mikoto finished stacking the bowls from breakfast and stood up as well.

"As will I," Yamato jumped easily onto a branch and the other three followed him up into the trees. It didn't take more than a few hops and jumps for them to reach the trees lining the edge of the circular clearing, and at once they could all feel a sort of heaviness in their limbs, dragging them down to the ground.

"It seems as if those things are still active." Itachi frowned and looked down at the ground. He couldn't see anything but a normal meadow. There was no sign of disturbed earth or leaves or anything. There weren't even any signs of the camping-equipment and backpacks that Team Seven had brought with them.

Mikoto stood right beside him on the branch, clad in a blue jounin uniform and green vest, the headband resting on her forehead. She looked both the same and very different from the housewife-Mikoto that Itachi had come to know in the past weeks. It was a good change in the FBI-agent's opinion. "Someone was very careful to remove all traces of the children being here," she remarked, her voice surprisingly steely but her eyes almost desperately searching around for any sign of Sasuke having been here.

Itachi turned to look at Neji who stood on a branch in another tree. "Use those eyes of yours and tell me what you see down there. I don't care if it is a mouse's barrow or an ant or a worm, any detail you see I want to know."

The young Hyuuga nodded. This was not the time to ask why Uchiha Itachi of all people was the leader of this group of shinobi, or why Neji was there in the first place. Those things could wait; he had a more important thing to do now. After they found Team Seven then, and only then, could the young Hyuuga demand his answers.

Sending chakra to his eyes and feeling them turn into the byakugan Neji looked down at the clearing. "The chakra-stealers look like round, glowing platters," he said. "There are... a lot of them. Several dozen I think, and they are arranged all around the clearing in neat, evenly-spaced rows and I think there are at least two levels of them... wait, there is one at the edge of the clearing, opposite of us, that doesn't glow like the others. I think that one is broken." Neji pointed.

Itachi didn't wait for anyone to say anything. He was off jumping from branch to branch to branch, springing off a tree-trunk to another trunk and then onto another branch again until he reached the tree closest to the point where Neji had pointed out. Yamato, Mikoto and Neji had followed him, and he looked curiously at the younger boy, awaiting further directions.

"That branch hangs almost right above the black spot," Neji pointed to the branch where Mikoto was standing. "The black one is surrounded by working chakra-stealers, though. We can't go down there and get it."

"We aren't going down there, you are going to tie a piece of rope around me and lower me down and I will dig it out without touching the ground," Itachi replied. It wasn't the best plan, but it was the only one, and he wanted that ruined chakra-stealer. There could be vital clues on it; this was a chance that he couldn't let pass.

And so they did it. Mikoto obviously wasn't comfortable letting Itachi be lowered down there, but the knots she tied were firm and secure. She and Yamato slowly lowered the FBI-agent and held him aloft while he dug while Neji made sure that Itachi didn't accidentally dig up one of the working chakra-stealers, calling out instructions with regular intervals. Itachi didn't exactly find this a comfortable position. The rope was digging into his hips and stomach as it held him aloft, and it was difficult to keep his legs raised and his entire body from growing tired and lowering until it touched the ground, and it was very difficult to not touch any earth and use a couple of kunai to dig in the earth. The force field from the chakra-stealers was very powerful and Itachi could feel it sucking his strength even as he hung above the ground and worked.

It took an annoying amount of time to dig out the round chakra-stealer. It was a faded yellow in colour, a glass dome surrounded by metal and with several metal, tube-like arms sticking out. It looked rather like something from a Hollywood sci-fi movie. It was at once obvious why this thing wasn't working – the wires that should have connected it to the others around it had been gnawed over by mice since they went straight through an old mice tunnel – and Itachi could easily lift it out after putting on a pair of plastic gloves that Neji had quickly borrowed from the medic-nin. Carefully placing the thing in a bag that Neji lowered to him, Itachi sighed and took a good, deep breath once he was finally back up on the branch with Yamato and Mikoto.

"I doubt it, but we may get some fingerprints off of that thing." Itachi said as he rubbed his aching stomach. The robes had really done a number on him.

"Fingerprints?" Mikoto parroted in confusion.

"Yeah, fingerprints. But never mind that now, I'll explain that later. We need to get back to the others. I am ready." Itachi stood up and handed Yamato back the two kunai before untying the rope from around his waist.

"Ready?" Neji stared at him, carefully holding the bag with the chakra-stealer.

"To give a profile of the perpetrator, of course. Let's go." Itachi jumped from branch to branch and was soon out of sight of the three confused shinobi. It didn't take him long to land in the middle of the clearing where the shinobi had put up camp, only then remembering that the drawing that the medic-nin was making of a chakra-stealer was now superfluous since they had the genuine article. Ah well. They didn't know they were going to get their hands on the real deal. And it had kept the shinobi occupied while he was gone.

Mikoto, Yamato and Neji were right behind him and they briefly showed the others what they had gotten their hands on, before Yamato turned to Itachi. "Alright then, give us this profile of the perpetrator."

"Profile?" Inuzuka Tsume shared a confused look with Kuromaru.

"Offender profiling is a method of identifying the perpetrator of a crime based on an analysis of the nature of the offense and the manner in which it was committed," Itachi explained. "Various aspects of the criminal's personality makeup are determined from his or her choices before, during, and after the crime. This information is combined with other relevant details and physical evidence, and then compared with the characteristics of known personality types and mental abnormalities to develop a practical working description of the offender."

"And you are going to profile the one who stole away Team Seven?" Lin inquired, and Itachi nodded. "What is to say that your methods would work here? Shinobi are not your everyday normal people, please remember that." The ANBU pointed out, his voice letting everyone know just how sceptical he was about profiling.

Itachi nodded in recognition of that point. "True, I doubt that a shinobi would fall into the categories I deal with. But we aren't dealing with a shinobi here."

Neji frowned. "How can you be so confidant of that? This entire thing smells more and more of a shinobi's work. Who else could take out an entire gennin team with a very good jounin guarding them?"

"I have electrocuted both Uchiha Shisui and Hatake Kakashi, and I am a civilian."

The shinobi were quiet after that had been pointed out.

Yamato sighed and sat down on one of the logs. "Tell us of this profile. Afterwards we will decide what to do."

"Right." The young FBI-agent nodded and sighed. He gathered his thoughts for a minute or two before he began to speak. "First a short note to make sure that you aren't confused on how I speak: the perpetrator is referred to as the Unknown Subject – abbreviated to UnSub. From here on out, I will use that when I refer to them."

They all nodded. It was actually a good way of referring to the guilty party in a short and concise manner, and also without assuming whether the person was a woman or a man or a child or whatever.

"Alight then, let us start and take a look at the facts." Itachi took out the small notebook he had been writing in ever since he had been put in charge of the case. He wanted to make sure that he got every single fact straight. "Thanks to the files of the Uchiha police and the interviews that have been done we know that these kidnappings have been going on for ten years or more. However, the Uchiha police files – which should, by all accounts, be more specific and have more information than witness statements – are in a mess, and that's putting it lightly, so there is no way for us to know if this has been going on for longer."

It was clear to everyone there exactly what Itachi thought of the way that the Uchiha had been handling their files and cases, but the teen stayed surprisingly professional about it for the moment.

"Now, there are a lot of missing children from this particular geographical area throughout the ten years, but only those where the families got a note with the variation of the 'we are going to take some unforeseen detour or vacation'-theme that we have in the three letters from Team Seven are connected to this particular case." He continued, "Some of the families we interviewed had saved the notes, and all three letters sounded the same in each individual disappearance, and with little variation from one disappearance to another – as already noted. In other words, we are dealing with a serial killer."

"And you are absolutely certain that it isn't a shinobi that is doing this?" Neji repeated Lin's question curiously.

Itachi nodded. "A shinobi would never make the notes so alike or so scripted. Even a gennin would know that it would attract far too much attention – had the Uchiha Police Force actually been doing their job."

"Alright, so the perpetrator, the UnSub, is a civilian." Aburame Shibi summed up. "Please, go on."

Taking out the map Itachi put it on the ground so that everyone could see it. "Look at the locations where the children were kidnapped. They are far apart which means that the UnSub is willing and able to travel with the bodies, and out here it is easy to get from point A to point B without being seen what with all these trees. The UnSub is someone who blends in, who wouldn't be noticed when seen talking to someone, or make people suspicious when he approaches them. He or she probably has a job that makes this easier, too."

"How do we know that these killings are contained in this area? Have we checked with other villages?" Lin asked.

"These villages are the UnSub's comfort zone," Itachi pointed at the villages on the map. "Serial killers that aren't mobile – like this one – confine themselves to an area. The closer to their home the more secure they feel because the better they know the area. That this person has taken children from so many different villages proves that he is very confident in himself, and after all these years of no one doing anything about this entire thing, the UnSub is also very likely not afraid to be discovered."

"But we are here now," Mikoto stated. "What will the UnSub do now?"

"The type of UnSub we are dealing with is a predatory abductor," Itachi's face remained practically emotionless as he spoke. "Predatory abductors are careful, they are organized and they are very well prepared. They spend their time and energy to prepare for the abduction, and they will have a lair where they can take their victims. Our guy has been working his way up from normal civilian children to kidnapping a team of shinobi – that field of chakra-stealers back there wasn't put there for no reason at all after all. Something in the UnSubs past made him dislike shinobi very, very much, and now Team Seven have ended up in the middle of it all."

Yamato sighed. "There are many reasons to hate shinobi."

"But why not take revenge on the shinobi when it happened? Why spend ten years kidnapping children?" Neji's voice was very young and the shinobi were very aware that it could have just as well been the young Hyuuga branch member and his team mates missing instead of Team Seven.

"The UnSub was young when it happened, too young to do anything at that point in time. Then something happened which triggered the UnSub and he started doing this." He sighed again, "The notes that are sent to the family, they are all mentioning something about some errand or whatever taking more time, which means that the UnSub is taking or, rather, giving himself more time to do something with the kids."

"More time to do what?" Mikoto couldn't quite hide a note of worry in her voice.

Itachi shrugged. "I do not know."

"How is this going to help us?" Inuzuak Tsume spoke up. "It's all well and good to know that the bastard is local and all, but it won't help us find the missing children."

"But it will." Itachi leaned forwards, his black eyes intense. "The fact that none of the children have ever returned or been found means that they are dead. Not only is our guy a predatory abductor, he is an organized killer. And there is one special thing about organized killers."

Yamato was the one who asked the question. "And that is?"

"They are fascinated with law enforcement; they will inject themselves into an investigation in order to find out what the law enforcement knows. As much as the UnSub hates shinobi he wouldn't be able to stay away from the investigation." His eyes flashed as he looked at the shinobi around him. "In fact, I think- no, I _know_ that we have already spoken to him."

**XVIII**

_Sensory deprivation. The lack of warmth, food, facilities, water, other people, fresh air, visual stimuli. It was enough to break down even the toughest of shinobi, let alone a newly-formed gennin team. Extended or forced depravation could result in extreme anxiety, hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, depression and death. And there had been plenty of all of that._

_Sasuke felt incredibly weak. H__e was shivering constantly from the cold, his charka could never build up to normal levels, his stomach felt as if it was glued to his spine, it had stopped growling a long time ago. He fleetingly wondered how long they had been here in this hell. They were dirty and cold and Sasuke and Sakura were both coughing and coming down with serious colds while Naruto didn't seem to be getting sick at all._

_In fact, the blond seemed to be getting weirder and weirder by the minute. While Sasuke and Sakura could only find the strength to sit leaning against the wall furthest away from the corpses, Naruto still had the strength to stumble to the end of the dark corridor and bang on the metal door, demanding and shouting and cursing to high heaven and back. But the blond was also getting weaker, and he was currently sitting away from Sasuke and Sakura who had curled up together in a futile attempt to share body heat._

"_Don't even think about it," Sasuke said weakly, glad that Sakura was asleep so that she didn't have to hear this._

_Naruto bare turned his head to look at Sasuke. "Think about what?" he demanded, his voice hoarse, tired._

"_About killing either of us to save yourself." Sasuke hardly noticed the lack of stutter in his own exhausted voice. Perhaps he was just too tired to bother with it. "We are weak in your eyes because we got sick, because we can't keep up with your stamina."_

_The blond snorted. "You finally got something right, dobe."_

_Sasuke refused to let those words affect him. They didn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, not anymore. "Those who don't take care of their comrades are lower than trash. Remember the phrase that Kakashi-sensei is always saying? __It's about teamwork. We need to stick this out together." _

"_Fat load of good that is doing for us. Kakashi-sensei is probably dead and no one in Konoha will miss us, and no one will ever find us. If at least one of us escapes then they might bring back the e__ntire village and kill this guy," Naruto's voice was dark and emotionless, cold as the air around them._

"_At what price, Uzumaki?" this time it was Sasuke who snorted, but then he coughed. Sakura was so weak – it was that damn diet of hers, if she had just eaten normally like the rest of them she wouldn't have been this weak – that she only shifted slightly against Sasuke but didn't wake up. "__Besides, haven't you noticed? All of the corpses are lying neatly three and three together, and even I can see that there is at least one corpse within each grouping that has a cracked skull. This guy isn't going to let us out even if we kill each other. We are stuck here."_

_The hanging light bulb had never been turned off as long as Team Seven had been trapped inside, and it was starting to blink on and off. Naruto seemed to deflate in the weak light. The blond slowly got to his feet and stumbled over to where Sasuke and Sakura sat, settling down beside Sakura so that the pink-haired girl, being the weakest, was given __the most warmth. _

"_Since when did you get so smart, dobe?" the blond asked. The warmth from his teammates was suddenly making it clear just how cold he really was, and Naruto was starting to shiver._

_Sasuke didn't answer and instead closed his eyes and placed his head on his knees, hugging his legs tightly to himself to try to get extra warmth. _

_They were probably going to die in here and no one would ever know._

**XVIII**

There. Done. Please review.

I know this isn't the most exciting chapter. This chapter was supposed to be the one where they discovered Kakashi and exactly who the perpetrator was, perhaps even reached team seven, but, obviously, that didn't happen. It just ran off with itself, I had absolutely no control over that. On a happier note, the next chapter should be the end of this entire thing, so please look forwards to it!

Thanks to:

poetic love, Hitokiri Onib, rldragon, SnickyPop, Ladyrouge214, Slayer End, notBald, hey, Tharanee, frzntears, 1m-pr1n7, greatstars, Mask of Lies, minniemousemom, RainPure, alchino, creepy crab, Dark Reborn, xRosePetalx, stupid thing, Moriko no Hikari, tanith-4486, RozenMaiden14, Chaney2250, ChocolateBunnyChan, Phoenix Eternia, ObsidianEbony, Dracowar, Favored, TookSisters, MahinaMura13, Lady X, Jarik Tentsu, shadowninja-yuna, izzaboo22neo, Phlogistics, Xoroth, ShadowHeart251, wittyying, kitiem3000, Supercalafrajalicious, CleverBast, nylanalily, Nemrut, AKATSUKICHIBIS789, The Dark Lord Mudblood, potty the fanboy, xXxJaycee81196xXx, Sharingan-Youkai, xatsumex, Barranca, and tati1.


	19. Chapter 19

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I never said that this fic would end, just that the arc would end in this chapter. No, this fic, I'm afraid, is here to stay for a long while yet.

That's to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 19**

There was a short silence in the group as they fully realized what Itachi had said. They had already met and spoken with the perpetrator, the person who had done all this, and they hadn't known it? Shinobi prided themselves on being more observant than civilians – it was in the job description! That was… it… it was absurd! They were shinobi! They should have known something was wrong right away! That they hadn't known was… it was difficult to accept, especially for those of ANBU rank.

"The UnSub we're talking about here isn't your stereotypical drooling, evil scientist or evil bad guy from the movies or books," Itachi said. "This is a guy who blends in with the environment around him. He seems normal and he is good at it considering how long this has been going on. If you talk to his neighbours they will all be shocked that he is doing such things."

There were some muttered curses from Inuzuka Tsume's direction, and none of the shinobi looked very happy at all, but it would pass. They may have made a mistake, but now they simply had to correct it before it was too late for one of their gennin teams and the team's teacher.

"So, how do we proceed?" Lin asked for them all. "It's all well and good to know that the killer – that the UnSub – has contained himself geographically, but how does that help us?"

"We still have no idea who he is or where he is from," Yamato added.

Itachi addressed Yamato, "Remember that young lady at the teahouse?"

"Yes. She was the one who told us how many children went missing in which village. Do you think she's the perpetrator?"

The young FBI agent shook his head. "I already said that she isn't. She's the one who sought us out, made the first contact, the UnSub wouldn't do that."

"But didn't you say that the UnSub would want to insert himself into the investigation?" Neji spoke up. "This woman you are talking about certainly inserted herself, didn't she?"

"She did, but our UnSub would never have told me such exact details." Itachi pointed at the villages on the map. "Six children went missing from this village, nine from this one," he said and made the rounds with all the villages on the map that were the UnSub's comfort zone before he stopped at the last village. "However, this is the interesting one."

Mikoto leaned closer. "How so?"

"Only three children ever went missing here."

"What? Only three while the others around it miss six and nine and so on?" Neji blinked. "That shouldn't be possible, should it? I mean, the perpetrator doesn't seem to have any qualms to stop him from doing what he wants to do, so why just three in this village?"

Itachi nearly smirked. "Because this is the UnSub's own home village, I am willing to bet on it. He doesn't want to draw attention to his home, so he doesn't do much there."

"In trying to avoid drawing attention he did just the opposite." The medic-nin on the team gazed at the map almost wide-eyed.

"Why hasn't someone caught this before? It is glaringly obvious," the Aburame Clan Head wondered.

"It is glaringly obvious if you bother to look, and we have already established that the Uchiha Police Force should be disbanded and sent back to boot camp for their incompetence," Itachi grumbled as he rolled up the map. "Our next step is to travel to this village and make further inquiries there. There is no time to lose; the Uchiha Police Force lost it all for us."

In short order the shinobi camp was packed up and any traces of it were almost completely erased. The ANBU in the group made a mental note to come back to the clearing later and remove all the chakra-stealing devices, but the rest of them were far too focused on getting to the village and to Team Seven. A sense of urgency had descended upon them all now that they knew they were getting close.

**XIX**

They reached the village very quickly, they had pushed themselves and they didn't want to waste any more time on the search. They just wanted to find the missing gennin team and be done with this entire case. And then they were going to let one Uchiha Fugaku and the Uchiha Clan know exactly what they thought of the police force and said force's handling of cases and files and everything else that was causing them frustration and hindering them in their work.

"Okay, before we go into the town you need to know what we are looking for. The young woman we met is about Mikoto-san's height," Itachi said. "She is more slender though, and her hair is about chin-length and brown. She is a bit meek and skittish, and we met her at the teahouse so she has recently travelled," he went on to tell them everything he remembered about her.

"There has to be a hundred women looking and acting like that," Tsume grumbled.

"In this small village everyone will know everyone," the Aburame Clan Head pointed out. "They will know her. But why are we searching for her here? She could be from any of the other villages."

"She is close to the UnSub, hell, she might even be an accomplice," Itachi said.

"But doesn't that go against what you said? You said she wasn't the UnSub but now you say that she is an accomplice. Isn't that the same thing?" Neji looked a bit confused.

Itachi shook his head. "She isn't innocent, but she isn't as guilty as the UnSub. The UnSub is most likely a close relative of some kind and he probably holds control over her somehow. That she spoke to us on her own shows that she cannot go along with the UnSub anymore. Something must have triggered this change in her, but we will have to find out what after we save Team Seven."

Yamato spoke up, "I want us to go around in three-man teams. If this UnSub has more of those chakra-stealing devices or seals then we might be in danger so it is best for all of us to be careful and team up. Also, if we discover something one of the three can go to retrieve the other teams while two continue on in relative safety."

The shinobi quickly divided themselves in teams.

"One more thing before we go," Itachi spoke up. "This UnSub may be a civilian, but remember that he overpowered Kakashi and three gennin by being smart. Do not underestimate him."

The others nodded to that and then the three teams were off.

The villagers were obviously highly disturbed to suddenly be descended upon by three teams of shinobi who were asking the oddest questions, but the shinobi were persistent and it soon paid off. People started talking. Yes, the young woman lived in this village but there was no way that she was involved in the disappearances of those poor children! Such a kind soul, she helped out with everyone's children, gladly watching them and hoping for one of her own one day.

"Well, she got her wish, didn't she?" one old crone gossiped.

"She did?" Itachi asked.

"Oh yes, just some weeks ago she learned that she was pregnant and that she was going to have a child of her own! What a blessed event for the poor dear. She and her husband have been trying to have children for years now."

"The stressor," Itachi mumbled. This was the reason that the young woman had searched them out. She was having a child of her own.

"Her husband?" this time it was Neji who spoke up.

The old crone nodded then leaned in as if to divulge a great secret. "Her husband is a medicine seller," she told them. "He usually travels around the villages in the vicinity, and sometimes she goes with him. I suppose one of his remedies finally worked."

"Who is her husband and where might we find them?" Yamato asked.

"You aren't going to arrest the poor woman, are you?" the crone looked suspiciously at them until all three had assured her that they just wanted to talk to the couple. "They live a bit outside the village proper – he needs his space for all those remedies and herbs and such – but you can find their home easily enough that way." She pointed.

"And the name?" Itachi tried not to show exactly how much he wanted to shake the crone for wasting more of their time with her gossiping and blabbering.

"Sato Yozaburo and Sato Aiko," the woman replied and would have said something else, but the three shinobi were gone in the blink of an eye. "Well, I never! Such rudeness!"

"Yamato!" Itachi need not say anything; the ANBU was already running off through the village to gather the other two teams while Itachi and Neji headed towards the house of their suspect. They soon reached the house. It was well tended to, both the garden and the paints and everything else that Itachi could see. Nothing gave an impression of what this house really held.

He turned to Neji. "Now, use those eyes of yours and look around, Hyuuga. Quickly!"

"I can't see what's not there to see! There is nothing inside the house! Besides, there is a limit to how far the byakugan can reach!" Neji protested.

"The only limit is the one you set yourself!" Itachi actually whacked the younger teen on the back of his head. He didn't have the time and, more importantly, the patience to deal with teenage emo-angst right now. "Look underground for anything! Push yourself and find Team Seven!"

**XIX**

Sasuke didn't think they could hang on anymore. Both he and Naruto had lost sense of time a long time ago, and Sakura barely managed to open her eyes, let alone say something or actually get up and move. Hell, Sasuke was having trouble moving about, and even Naruto had been keeping still most of the time. The three of them were leaning against each other, Sakura still in the middle, trying to share practically non-existent body heat and shivering.

Sasuke's eyes kept on resting on the numerous corpses in various stages of decomposition. When they had first woken up in this horrible place he had tried to pay a measure of respect to these poor children by not staring at them or stepping on them, but it had quickly simply not mattered anymore. Now he stared at the closest empty skull, wondering if his own would look like that in a few weeks or months' time.

He, Naruto and Sakura would simply become another three skeletons in this bunker surrounded by strangers and keeping silent, eternal vigil in the darkness. Sasuke's only regret was that they, despite being shinobi, would never have the chance to save the future children that would end up here.

Or would children end up here in the future? He didn't know, but it seemed a bit unlikely that the person who did this would simply stop suddenly. Not considering how many skeletons were lying around them. After so many years this was like an addiction to the killer. Sasuke remembered Iruka-sensei telling them about shinobi who went crazy and got addicted to killing people and going rouge, such people couldn't just… stop.

The lone light-bulb that was hanging above them had almost gone out. It was flickering worse now, one might even say that it was off more than it was on, and the little time that it was on the light was weak and almost brownish in a way. It cast horrific shadows over the skeletons, but Sasuke didn't care anymore. He just wanted it all to end and it didn't matter how.

Clinking and clanking sounds echoed through the room and at first neither Sasuke nor Naruto registered it – they were simply far too tired – but the two boys managed to find the strength to look up and stare in muted, tired shock as the door at the very end of the corridor opened slowly and with a long, drawn-out metallic creak. A shadowy figure stepped into the room, carrying a bright swinging light. The person walked towards the end where Team Seven had collapsed, paying no attention when stepping on skeletons and remains, and the lantern was placed on the floor, it's light so bright that Sasuke's eyes hurt and he couldn't see much of the person behind the lantern apart from a shadowy shape.

A heavy, thump-like clunk announced the appearance of a hammer in front of the three gennin, and both Sasuke and Naruto stared at it almost incomprehensibly. Sakura even managed to open her green eyes as well.

"Have you decided which one is to die?" the shadowy figure asked almost amicably, its voice not distorted and clearly male.

None of Team Seven answered.

"One of you has to die so that the other two will go free," the man said again, then grew suddenly irritable when he still got no answer. "What's so difficult to choose?" he demanded. "It's obvious who the weakest link is! The girl has been like that nearly all the time since you got here! She's the weakest! It's logical to kill her off!"

"We…" Naruto's voice was hoarse. His lips were cracked and dry, it was difficult to speak but he went on. "We will not kill a teammate."

"Why not? What's stopping you? She won't even make any attempts to protect herself, she's too weak! The perfect prey!"

"Those who don't take care of their comrades are worse than trash," Sasuke repeated what Kakashi-sensei had told them, his voice steady despite his state.

"Worse than trash? Comrades? Hah! As if that ever stopped you before!" the man was clearly furious by now.

Sasuke had no idea to whom the guy was talking to. As far as he knew he had never done anything to this man, and this was his first mission out of the village. Sasuke highly doubted that this was a Konoha villager pissed off about a badly performed D-rank mission. He briefly entertained the thought that this could be one of Gatou's men, but then pushed it away. They had fought Gatou's men, and none of them had been skilled or smart enough to trick an entire team of shinobi like this. Not with Kakashi-sensei on the team, and especially not after Zabuza had scared the shit out of them.

"Why won't you do what is in human nature? Why won't you get rid of the weakest link? All the others succumbed long before this! I don't get it!" the man seemed to be talking mostly to himself. "Is it because you're shinobi? Are shinobi so much more different than us normal mortals? No, that can't be possible. If that was true then none of this would have happened in the first place."

This guy was simply crazy. There could be no other explanation.

One quick, shared look with Naruto told Sasuke that the blond had gotten to the same conclusion.

"Shinobi get training—that must be it. Shinobi can hold out longer than normal people, yes, that's the reason. If I leave them here for another while then they will succumb," the man seemed on the verge of pacing. "But I have no more time! The stupid shinobi are here!"

Sasuke blinked at that and shared another look with Naruto. What was the man talking about now? The only shinobi here were them and that shouldn't suddenly matter. It hadn't mattered before. Unless… unless someone from Konoha had come to search them out? His eyes widened at the thought. It was logical! A gennin team suddenly disappearing wasn't going to be ignored, not even with the fake notes that they had been forced to write! Kakashi-sensei would never have written something like that, and without Kakashi-sensei writing a note as well then Konoha would become suspicious at once! Why hadn't Sasuke thought of this before? It was simple standard procedure! And now the search-team from Konoha was putting pressure on this man by circling in closer and closer and closer.

They were going to be rescued. There was hope.

The hope didn't last long for the man suddenly pulled out a long, sharp vicious-looking knife from his clothes. The steel glittered coldly in the light from the lantern, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel the hope in him die. If the man had left them here for another few days then they could have most likely survived until they were found, but there was no chance of surviving this if this man was going to kill them right here and right now.

"There is nothing else to do," the man said mostly to himself. "I now know what to expect from shinobi, I have learned and progressed. Next time I will plan accordingly, give myself more time, be more careful not to attract attention. But it was impossible to suspect that they would send a search team! No one ever bothered to search before!"

He sighed and shook his head. "It is an anomaly," he concluded and shrugged before he leaned down and reached for Sakura's long, pink hair. "Let's start with you, weakest link."

Sakura was too weak to do anything when her hair was grabbed, but both Naruto and Sasuke reached out and grabbed onto their captors arms. But they were all so weak that the captor barely bothered to let go of Sakura's hair before he easily shook the two boys off. He reached down and grabbed Sakura's hair again.

"Stop it right there, Yozaburo!"

The new voice echoed through the corridor and everyone looked to the entrance.

Sasuke blinked in shock upon realizing who the person was. He couldn't see the man well for there wasn't much light, but he would know that voice anywhere. "… Itachi…?" the young Uchiha barely managed to whisper, but both Naruto and Sakura caught it and their eyes widened in surprise.

"I have to do this!" Yozaburo shouted. "I have to find out who won't cave under the pressure! I have to find out if I was right!"

"You have found them, Yozaburo," Itachi said as his shadowy figure slowly approached Yozaburo and Team Seven.

"No! I haven't! With more time they would have failed like everyone else!"

"You're wrong, this team will not break no matter what, Yozaburo. You've reached the pinnacle of your search, there is nothing else for you to search for. It is over."

Yozaburo looked almost crushed at the thought. "No…"

"It's over," Itachi said. He was almost halfway through the corridor but it was still too dark to see him as more than a shadowy figure. He didn't seem to have any weapons that Sasuke could see.

"It can't be over! It's not over! I will simply start over again!" he whirled around and grabbed for Sakura again, but Sasuke and Naruto pushed her weakly out of the way and to a lying position on the floor.

Itachi didn't hesitate. He was moving before Sasuke and Naruto and a flash of light and a sharp, loud noise that the three gennin had never heard before echoed throughout the corridor. Yozaburo suddenly froze up where he stood, a shower of something warm and sticky splashed over the three gennin and it felt like it was burning since they were so cold, and then Yozaburo collapsed where he stood but luckily didn't land on the three young shinobi.

Sasuke stared in shock at the dead body at his feet, then looked up as Itachi stepped into the light from the lantern. The older Uchiha looked quite intimidating in his black, ANBU-like clothes and his face was emotionless despite the fact that he had just killed someone. In his hands he held something that looked quite similar to the stun-gun he had showed Sasuke when Itachi had first come to Konoha.

Yet none of it mattered to Sasuke at all. He was just too weak to really feel anything, but he certainly wanted to express his joy upon seeing Itachi there in front of him. He wanted to shout and jump and hug his aniki, wanted Itachi to know exactly how much this meant for Sasuke. But he couldn't – in fact, the only thing Sasuke was up to was blacking out now that he knew that he was finally safe again.

**XIX**

The sound of the gun going off had brought everyone else to the doorway that led into the horrible corridor of death. Neji had to turn away in order to avoid being sick. The smell was horrific and the sight was even more so. He was a shinobi, yes, but he was still a gennin and he had never seen corpses like this before. Maito Gai had been introducing Neji's team to the harsh realities of shinobi life at a slow pace, and though they had seen death, they hadn't seen decomposition quite like this before. It was a shock to the system.

The other shinobi seemed to have no trouble entering the corridor and approaching the end, occasionally stopping to look at a corpse before shaking their heads and moving on. There were so many of them, the poor children. They had had no chance against this evil.

Itachi was by now kneeling beside the almost comatose Team Seven, trying to check them over and see if there were any broken bones or anything else that was wrong with them apart from psychological trauma, dehydration, and malnutrition. Mikoto was soon there, too, checking Sasuke over and over again before picking up the young boy and carrying him out of there. The woman was keeping an iron grip on her emotions, but it wouldn't take long before they exploded – most likely in the presence of Fugaku and Shisui.

"There are so many," Tsume nearly whispered, her voice sad. Kuromaru had stayed out of the room, the smell being a bit too potent for his sensitive nose.

"We found Kakashi in one of the other corridors. It was a cell-like room, and it had more chakra-stealers and seals all over. He is in a bad shape, but he should pull through it," Yamato said as he and Itachi picked up Naruto and Sakura respectively, and carried the two gennin towards the exit.

"Good." Itachi nodded and shifted his grip on the pink-haired girl. She was far too light.

Lin was waiting for them by the door. "The medic-nin and Satoshi took Hatake outside and away from the chakra-stealers. Mikoto did the same with her son. You will find them topside, let the rest of us take care of things down here."

The Aburame Clan Head nodded. "We will try to identify as many of these children as possible so that their families may get some measure of closure. You just focus on keeping them alive and bringing them back to Konoha."

Yamato nodded and led the way through the winding underground complex, followed by Itachi. Neji followed as well, there was little he could do now and, quite frankly, he didn't really want to stay there anymore. Nor did he want to get any closer to any of the corpses. It would take time for that mental image to stop haunting his every hour, he was certain of that.

While obviously not as badly affected as the three gennin, Kakashi didn't exactly look at the peak of his powers or like someone you would want to introduce to your family. The mask was long gone and he had developed a beard. He was weak and emaciated but he was also somewhat awake and aware of what was going on around him – evident in the way that he _didn't_ attack anyone who came too close or touched him to check for wounds.

"My team?" the silver-haired shinobi rasped when Itachi crouched down beside him to put Sakura on the ground.

"They are alive," Itachi replied. He put a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and gave a small squeeze. "Relax and heal for now, afterwards we will talk."

That seemed to be all that was needed since Kakashi was out the next second.

The medic-nin held up an empty syringe. "Stubborn shinobi," he complained. "Wouldn't succumb to the medication until he was certain his team was okay. Commendable, of course, but still annoying. Now, help me move him over. I have to check the pink-haired girl; she seems worse off than anyone else."

From then on it was the medic-nin who ran the show. He told them when to stop, how long to rest, how long to travel, what food to prepare, how much water and firewood to get, whether to set up tents or not, and so on. Team Seven were his patients and he obviously knew what he was doing much better than Itachi, Mikoto, Neji or Satoshi. The latter had come with the team in order to carry Kakashi and also to make a report to the Hokage when they reached Konoha. Yamato had stayed behind to supervise the cleanup and also to talk to the local daimyo and explain what had happened and that the lands were no safe from this particular threat.

The journey went rather slowly because of the weak state of Team Seven, but no one minded. Kakashi managed to recover enough to stay awake for almost half an hour, but the medic-nin wouldn't let the silver-haired shinobi even think of doing anything but rest. He barely let Kakashi eat on his own, let alone do anything else. It was perhaps a bit embarrassing at times, but it had to be done. Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were kept drugged and asleep.

"First we will heal their bodies," the medic-nin explained when Itachi asked him. "When we reach Konoha they will be kept unconscious while being given regular food and exercise by the nurses so that they put on weight and gain some of that muscle back. A healthy body will make it easier for the mind to deal with what has happened."

"I see your point, but I am still worried." Itachi sighed. "They will need therapy after this. Shinobi or not, they are still children."

"Oh, they will get it. The very best that Konoha has to offer is Yamanaka Inoichi. He is usually in Intelligence, but he also works as the shinobi psychologist. Don't worry, he knows what to do." The medic-nin patted Itachi's arm and then moved off to let the rest of the team know that it was time to get moving again.

Finally the gates of Konoha loomed in front of them, and the shinobi on guard duty were efficient in noting their IDs and quickly letting them move on. They separated then, the medic-nin, Mikoto, Neji and Satoshi carrying their precious burden off to the hospital while Itachi was sent to report to the Hokage.

"You are the leader of this mission, it is your duty to report to the Hokage first no matter what. I can make my report later," Satoshi said as he shifted his grip on Kakashi's body.

Itachi simply nodded before heading towards the Hokage Tower. He wanted to get this out of the way and go back to watching over Sasuke. That, and he didn't really want to see Fugaku or Shisui right now. Itachi was certain that as soon as Fugaku heard that they were back that the man would hurry off to the Hokage Tower to get the report on the mission rather than to the hospital to check up on Sasuke. Itachi didn't want to be there when Fugaku showed up. If he saw either Fugaku or Shisui right now he was liable to go homicidal.

'_The confrontation will have to happen, but not right now. And I am not the one who is supposed to conf__ront them, that is up to Mikoto__,__' _he thought to himself as he entered the Hokage Tower and climbed the stairs. It was time to report to Sarutobi, and Itachi couldn't help but wish that he had some pocky with him.

The stick-sweets would have helped him through the following conversation.

**XIX**

There, please tell me what you think!

Apparently I'm not all that good at coming up with mysteries – even when borrowing horribly from crime shows several of you figured out who the perpetrator was. At least I hope you weren't bored by this chapter.

Yes, that is real profiler-stuff used in these chapters. Of course, it usually takes a lot more time for the real life profilers to arrive at some conclusions, but in the interest of fiction and fandom I have taken creative licence and shortened the time significantly.

Thanks to:

frzntears, xRosePetalx, QuietInsomniac, WingsOfFate, wittyying, Cristalake, Tharanee, Diamone, Skedaddle-San, Wandering Hitokiri, minniemousemom, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, Slayer End, CleverBast, Lady Red 88, pipper11, Hiira, Hitokiri Onib, hydrianway1013, Morrolan, Hikari Kaiya, nylanalily, Favored, SnickyPop, kitiem3000, notBald, ennui deMorte, xatsumex, stupid thing, Lusalma, Kathleen, MonCappy, Wingdance, mecha ghost, zakunai, Windsical, Vree, hey, LonelyAura, TanithLipsky, 11OneDone2Many, Nozume, Sealmaster, Katsheswims, IReadNoNonsense, anonymous-ninja13, -00-night-eyes-00-, Pheonix, endlessvamp, The Anonymous Reviewer, KuroitsukiNoMai, Sharingan Kirin, (...), FaerysWing, (...), SGWLESSUIT, Charming-Karma, SwiftShadow, phoebe turner, and S.


	20. Chapter 20

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Don't expect another chapter so soon, this one just didn't want to stay in my brain.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter 20**

The fact that he was forced to wait outside the Hokage's office until the village leader was finished with another mission debriefing really irked Itachi. He wanted to go in, report, get out and go straight to Sasuke before Fugaku showed up. He was itching to simply run off and forego the entire reporting, his muscles were tingling and twitching, but Itachi forced himself to sit down in one of the chairs and wait.

He suspected that the secretary – the same secretary who had complained about Itachi's pocky-eating habits and witnessed Itachi brush Naruto off like a fly – took great pleasure in denying Itachi entrance to the Hokage's office.

It seemed like an age before the Hokage was finished and a shinobi exited from his office. The old man had followed the shinobi to the door, handing off a piece of paper to one of the ANBU guards, and blinked when he spotted Itachi sitting there waiting for his turn. Sarutobi opened the door wider. "Please come in, Itachi-kun," he said to the teen and stepped aside briefly to let the younger male pass before he looked at the remaining ANBU guard. "You, too. I will need you to take notes."

The ANBU took his place at a small table off to the side of the Hokage's large desk, while Sarutobi settled behind the mounds of papers and official documents – all of which went ignored at the moment for the old man's attention was fully on Itachi who was sitting in his customary seat in front of the large desk. After observing the black-haired teen for a few moments and noting how twitchy Itachi appeared, Sarutobi reached down and opened one of the drawers in his desk. He pulled out a red pack of chocolate pocky and tossed it lightly to Itachi who snatched it easily out of the air.

"Thank you," Itachi said after he had eaten two of the chocolaty sticks.

The Hokage nodded. "Feel calmer?"

"Minimally," the teen replied and viciously bit down on another pocky stick. His eyes flickered to the patiently waiting ANBU. "I assume he's here to write up my report?"

"He is. But perhaps you wish to write it yourself?"

"Not unless you wish to have a report full of writing mistakes and generally unknown symbols," Itachi replied. "Though that wouldn't be the case if I used the Latin alphabet."

"I am afraid no one here has much knowledge reading those little squiggles," the Sandaime pointed out. They could read a little bit, but it was so obscure in these lands that it simply wasn't worth it to learn the Latin alphabet.

"Funnily enough most people in my world would consider your alphabet full of indecipherable signs."

"It is indeed amazing to consider just how much variety there is in the world," Sarutobi agreed and then sighed. "Yamato sent a message ahead of you, writing that the mission was a success and that Team Seven was alive though in bad shape but nothing else. I know that you are eager to be out of here and head to the hospital, so please tell me of the mission in as much detail as you can manage."

Itachi nodded. He slowly ate the next pocky stick as he gathered his thoughts, and then finally began to speak. He told the Hokage about how Yamato had contacted him right in the nick of time before he went home, how he did go home to pick up his gun and holster, and then came back to the Elemental Countries. He explained about the meeting with the young woman at the teahouse, about the daimyo, about the investigation, about the Uchiha Police Force's horrible file-keeping and organising. Itachi told the Hokage about the field of chakra stealers and the lone chakra stealer that they had recovered and which could perhaps yield fingerprints – here he had to stop and actually explain the science behind fingerprinting since, although the Hokage had heard of it, the shinobi had never used it before, and never had to use it before. They had other methods as the Hokage pointed out.

"Yes, and those methods work well as we all can see," Itachi grumbled sarcastically, but then shook his head. He had managed to keep it as impersonal and neutral as possible so far, and he was going to end the report in the same manner. So he went on to explain how they had had the little profiling session and how they had reached the conclusion on which village to head to. He told of the questioning of the village residents and how the old crone had pointed them to the right couple and the right house. Itachi didn't downplay the role Neji had played in finding the underground lair, and he spared no gory details when he finished off the report with the rescue of Team Seven.

"This is very serious," the old Hokage mumbled, and Itachi wasn't certain if the man was talking about the state of Team Seven or if he was talking about the gross neglect of duties shown by the Uchiha Police Force. Sarutobi sighed tiredly, looking even older than he was, and focused back on Itachi. "Please tell me more about this Sato Yozaburo and his wife."

Itachi frowned. He really just wanted to get to the damn hospital and know if his little brother was going to be as fine as he could possibly be considering what had happened, but he managed to keep his annoyance down to a vicious munching-attack on some poor pocky-sticks. "What do you wish to know?"

"The wife – Sato Aiko – why did she suddenly approach you at the teahouse? She has presumably been helping her husband to kidnap children for several years, so why did she suddenly grow a conscience?"

"She became pregnant," Itachi replied. "She was probably never in agreement with Yozaburo's crimes, but he probably held enough sway over her to force her to go along and not tell anyone. But when Aiko suddenly got pregnant things changed. It wasn't a stranger's child anymore, it was her own that was in the danger zone, and a mother's instinct to protect can be very powerful."

The Hokage nodded at that. "And Yozaburo? Why did he do it?"

"Most likely it has something to do with what he experienced as a child – him and two friends of his – ten or more years ago, it will most likely be something similar to what he put Team Seven and the other children through. And you will most likely also have a shinobi involved, but whether a missing-nin or not I do not know. Yozaburo is dead so it is impossible to ask him, and I don't even know if you will find anything in the files from the Uchiha Police Force but it would be best to go through them just in case. And, of course, you can ask his wife Aiko about things when Yamato and the rest bring her to Konoha." Itachi shrugged his shoulders. He had very few answers to Yozaburo's reasons and could only make educated guesses.

"We shall go through the files and we shall question the woman when she arrives." The ninja leader nodded. Sato Aiko would be put in prison for her crimes, but the severity of her sentence would be determined during the questioning.

"Of course, I could be wrong," Itachi admitted. "Profiling isn't an exact science and what I know to be applicable in America might not be useful here in the Elemental Countries. The ninja culture in these lands might screw everything up. In fact, I am surprised just how accurate my guesses and profiling were thus far."

The ANBU off to the side finished up writing the report and brought it over to the Hokage to quickly read through before it was placed in front of Itachi so that the teen could sign his name on the paper. As soon as Itachi had signed it, the paper was rolled up and tied off with a ribbon before it was placed off to the side on a shelf of similarly rolled-up scrolls with the same colour of ribbon. After making sure that the Hokage didn't need him for anything else the ANBU left the room to once more take up his post as guard.

Barely a minute passed before the ANBU opened the door and entered the room again. "Uchiha Fugaku is outside," he said.

Itachi sighed and wished that he had been wrong for once. He had guessed that Fugaku would come to the Hokage as soon as possible rather than go check on Sasuke. Of course, the Uchiha Clan Head could have gone to the hospital first, could have been told by the doctors that Sasuke was still being checked over, that the young gennin wasn't to be disturbed, and then left for the Hokage's office, but Itachi doubted that.

"You do not wish to meet with your father?" Sarutobi looked at Itachi.

The black-haired teen shook his head. "No, most emphatically not. I feel anything but good will towards that man and his police force at the moment, and I fear that I won't be able to remain cool and neutral if we meet now. I'd be more liable to pull out my gun and shoot him where he stands."

"Understandable. Rest assured that the police force will be investigated thoroughly by the village council. You may be called in for questioning regarding your opinion of the police force and their methods," the Hokage's voice was steely.

"I expected nothing less but I warn you to not call me in within the next couple of days. I am unlikely to calm down sufficiently in that time." He got out of the chair and finished off the last of the pocky. "Thank you for the pocky, Hokage-sama. Now if you could provide another way out of here – a way that would ensure that I don't have to meet up with daddy dearest – I would be eternally grateful."

The Hokage got out of his chair and opened one of the windows. "Yamato mentioned that you had picked up the skill to use chakra to travel. From here you can jump to that pole," he pointed, "and from there to the rooftop of that bookshop without harming yourself. You are right by the market there and can easily blend in with the afternoon crowd."

Itachi nodded and mentally calculated the distances. It was doable even for a novice like him. "Thank you. I will be at the hospital with Sasuke if you should need me," he said as he crouched on the windowsill. Itachi took one last breath before he pushed off and jumped towards the pole. For a brief second he feared that he had misjudged the distance but then his feet met with the pole and he almost desperately pushed chakra into the soles to stick himself there. Two jumps later he was lost in the afternoon crowd that milled around the marked just like the Hokage had said.

"For having just recently learned the skill he is very good at it," the ANBU commented. He and the Hokage had watched Itachi's departure with interest. "That is no easy jump for anyone; the pole is so thin that even a tiny amount of extra chakra would have snapped it."

"After their mission together, Kakashi did say that he suspects Itachi to have learned the transformation technique after only one brief hour sitting in at the academy class young Uchiha Sasuke was in," Sarutobi replied. "That boy has great potential."

The ANBU snorted. "He's a genius," the man growled, slight admiration and amusement showing through. "He has almost all of Konoha convinced that he is an ANBU and he hasn't even really done anything that great yet. I don't think Itachi even knows about the rumours about him."

"It will be interesting to see what he will do in the future," the Hokage agreed as he sat down behind his desk again. "Now, please let in Fugaku so that we can get this investigation into the police force under way."

**XX**

A couple of questions for directions made sure that Itachi easily found his way to the hospital. The building was large and white and looked like any other hospital that the black-haired teen had seen. The front was kept clean and without any obstacles and the doors were large giving easy access to in case of emergencies. To the sides and around back there was a large, well kept grassy lawn with a few bushes and trees, creating a peaceful and comfortable environment for the patients and the visitors. More than one person was taking advantage of the beautiful scenery and the wonderful weather. Nurses in white were tending patients, people on crutches were hobbling along with people in wheelchairs and there were blankets set out for those that wished to sit. Visiting families were to be seen everywhere, and off in one corner a couple of nurses were entertaining the youngest children with a hand-puppet show.

Itachi barely bothered to pay any sort of attention to the idyllic scene. He was far more concerned with Sasuke at that moment, and he walked into the hospital reception intent on nothing else but getting news about his little brother. The briefing with the Hokage had taken longer than he had expected, and he was almost desperate for any news now that they had reached Konoha and the medical facilities were much better and more extensive than one lone medic-nin.

"Excuse me; I am looking for Uchiha Sasuke. He and his gennin team were brought in approximately two hours ago, unconscious, malnourished and dehydrated," Itachi snagged the attention of one of the nurses. "I was wondering if he was still being checked by the doctors or if he had been given a room?"

The nurse smiled kindly. "Let me check," she said and went behind the reception desk. A few turns of paper later she nodded. "Yes, he is here. The doctors finished checking him and his team over about fifteen minutes ago and they have been placed in room 235. It is just up those stairs and to the left, nearly at the end of the corridor. You can't miss it, the number is right beside the door, and their names are right underneath the number."

"Thank you." Itachi nodded to her and then climbed the stairs, taking them two at the time. He easily found the door in question and then carefully opened it to make absolutely certain that he wouldn't disturb anyone inside.

Nearest to the door was Naruto, followed by Sakura in the middle before Sasuke who lay by the large windows. The room was airy and in nice, light colours. The three gennin had been washed, their hair combed and they looked a bit better. They were hooked up to various devices that would provide them with nutrients and keep an eye on them and who knew what else, and clipboards with the doctors notes hung at the end of their beds.

Mikoto was sitting on a stool beside Sasuke's bed, her back to the window, and she looked up when Itachi entered and smiled. "Itachi," she said quietly. "Did the briefing go well?"

"It did. What did the docs say about Sasuke and the other two?"

She grabbed Sasuke's hand where it lay on the light, light blue covers. "They are dehydrated and emaciated. Their chakra is still horribly low, though Sakura is the worst off. The doctors were surprised that all three survived. Kakashi is in a one-man room just down the corridor."

Itachi nodded. It was more or less the same thing that the medic-nin had been telling them on the trek to Konoha, which was a good thing. It meant that Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura were only getting better and not worse. The young FBI agent stepped around Sasuke's bed and put a hand on Mikoto's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. Despite all that had happened Itachi still didn't feel comfortable with Mikoto as his mother. The woman was wonderful and kind and there was no problem there, it was just that it took a long time even for a genius like him to get used to the notion.

Mikoto seemed to understand and she gladly accepted the comfort that he was willing to give. Her muscles were tense underneath his hand, and Itachi was certain that she wouldn't be able to keep her cool for much longer. Mikoto would either break down crying or she would blow up in Fugaku's face. Hell, she might even first cry and then tell Fugaku exactly what she thought of the entire situation.

'_That seems more plausible.'_ Itachi mused to himself. _'More healthy too, and she would be better capable of handling the confrontation.'_

The door to the room opened and a couple of civilians rushed in. The woman had pale pink hair while the man was gifted with green eyes and a rather prominent forehead. They were obviously Sakura's parents and hurried over to the middle bed, grabbing the girl's hands, almost desperate to make certain that their daughter was alright. Mrs. Haruno even started crying, hunching over her daughter's hand while her husband rubbed his eyes with one hand, the other never letting go of Sakura's.

Mr. Haruno turned to Mikoto and Itachi. "Wh-" he cleared his voice. "What did the doctors say? We were told nothing except that our daughter had finally been rescued and taken to the hospital."

"It took us some time to get off work," Mrs. Haruno added as if she needed the two awake shinobi in the room to understand why they hadn't come earlier. Or perhaps she needed the reason herself. It was hard to say.

Mikoto told them what she knew both from the journey to Konoha and what the doctors had said. "They are keeping them unconscious until their bodies have rested up and regained more weight and muscle. Afterwards they will have a psychologist to help them through what happened."

"Was it really that bad?" Mr. Haruno asked since his wife had gone back to brushing Sakura's long, pink hair out of the girl's sleeping face.

"Even worse," Itachi added when Mikoto only nodded.

"You saw it?" Mr Haruno was now focused on Itachi, staring at the Konoha hitai-ate that Itachi still hadn't taken off.

"He was the one who led the rescue team," Mikoto said. She was proud of both her sons.

"Thank you," Mr. and Mrs. Haruno seemed on the verge of crying again. "Thank you for bringing our daughter back to us."

Itachi nodded.

They stayed where they were as the afternoon wore on and the shadows lengthened, only leaving the room for toilet breaks. Itachi popped out twice to get them all something to eat, and young Konohamaru and the Hokage himself showed up to visit Naruto. Konohamaru seemed shocked to see his older brother so sick and weak, and the Hokage kept firm hands on the young boy's shoulders. None of them said anything when a few suspicious sniffles came from Konohamaru. The young boy stayed, but the Hokage had to leave when it got dark.

They spent that night at the hospital, sleeping on small cots that the staff brought in. It wasn't the most comfortable, but they all needed sleep. It was difficult to get sleep with so many people in the room, but they were all assured by a doctor that all three of the young teens were recovering much better than expected. Come morning Itachi managed to force Mikoto, Mr. and Mrs. Haruno to go home and take a shower and get at least a change of clothes and a proper breakfast. Konohamaru was forced to go to school but they assured the young boy that they would be here and watch over Naruto until he came back.

"You need a shower and a change of clothes too, so off you go," Mikoto said to Itachi once she came back. She did look better after changing clothes and getting a shower and some proper food. "I made a big enough breakfast for you too. My husband isn't at home and Shisui is off on a mission for at least another three days."

The FBI agent didn't bother to argue, Mikoto needed some time alone and this was perfect. Mr. and Mrs. Haruno weren't back yet since they couldn't travel as fast as shinobi could, and Itachi did want to check in on Kakashi before he left the hospital.

The silver-haired jounin was doing fine. He was still asleep, but the circles under his eyes weren't so big anymore and he looked much healthier. There were even a couple of magazines and some books on his bedside table to keep him occupied when he was awake, and that was always a good sign. It meant that he could stay away for longer and longer periods. Kakashi would be fine, he would be back on his feet before Sasuke, Naruto or Sakura.

The journey to the Uchiha part of Konoha went so much faster across the rooftops and Itachi actually enjoyed the quite acrobatic journey now that he didn't have to worry about Sasuke's safety anymore. The Uchihas out on the streets stared at him as he dropped down in front of the main house, but Itachi ignored them. He hurried inside and rushed through the shower. It felt wonderful to be properly clean again and wear new clothes. The breakfast that Mikoto had prepared was cold by now, but it didn't matter. Itachi was just glad that it wasn't ration bars or jerky or any other sort of travel food, and he enjoyed the meal greatly. The silence and the solitude also gave Itachi time to think about what had happened and relax his brain.

This mission certainly was food for thought.

'_It is amazing__ just how fast lives can change__,__'_ Itachi mused as he got ready to leave for the hospital again.

**XX**

For the next couple of days Mikoto and Itachi barely left the hospital, though the staff did manage to convince them both to go home at night. Otherwise they spent all day at Sasuke's bedside. They became quite familiar with Mr. and Mrs. Haruno who dropped in every day after work and also with Konohamarau who soon got bored with simply sitting there and instead took to quizzing Itachi about how he had found the culprit and rescued Naruto. Konohamaru seemed fascinated with the work of a profiler and wasn't shy about asking questions. Itachi didn't mind answering the questions even if he was certain that there was a lot that Konohamaru didn't really understand.

Itachi was still far too angry with Fugaku to trust himself in a confrontation with the man, and Mikoto didn't seem to have any special wish to meet up with her husband either. The man did drop by the hospital for about five minutes, and those were some of the most tense and uncomfortable five minutes in Itachi's life. Shisui – when he returned from his mission – barely bothered to stick his head through the door before he left again.

On the third day Itachi found himself the only person in the room with the unconscious Team Seven. Just recently three nurses had been there, putting the three unconscious gennins' muscles through a thorough workout to keep them in shape, and the doctor had been there as well and had only good news to report about the progress of his patients.

'_This is one of the times I wish that I had put more effort into reading and writing kanji,' _Itachi sighed to himself as he munched on yet another pocky. _'I would have had something to do while waiting for Sasuke to wake up.'_ It wasn't like he didn't want to be there and watch over his younger brother, but blank walls tended to become boring after three days of being stared at.

Mikoto had been called in by the Hokage for a report on the mission and, Itachi suspected, report on what she had seen the police force do and, more importantly, not do during the years she had been married to Fugaku. Itachi had to wonder exactly how far Mikoto would be willing to take this. He didn't think that she would lie about what she had seen, but Itachi did wonder if the long marriage and the loyalty Mikoto felt towards Fugaku would make the woman perhaps downplay some things in an attempt to help her husband. It could happen, it wasn't easy to break through almost two decades of marriage and loyalty.

'_Then again, things could be di__fferent in this shinobi culture,'_ Itachi sighed. Shinobi complicated everything.

The door opened and Mrs. Haruno stepped into the room, bringing with her fresh flowers. She replaced the old flowers and arranged the new ones in silence before she sat down on the stool beside Sakura's bed. The woman had gone back to work yesterday, but she was notably getting out well before the workday was truly over.

"If this is the life a shinobi leads then I do not want to let Sakura continue," Mrs. Haruno finally spoke up, never taking her eyes off her daughter's still form. "My husband and I knew that shinobi disappeared and got hurt and were in danger all the time, but it was never _real_, you know? We are both civilians and until Sakura decided to go to the Academy we had minimal contact with the shinobi of our village. I don't want to lose my daughter to anything but old age."

Itachi didn't say anything while Mrs. Haruno talked. The woman had obviously wanted to get her worries out in the open, and she needed to speak to someone. Sometimes it helped to talk to someone who wasn't family, someone who you didn't have to see day in and day out.

"Valid concerns," the FBI agent finally spoke up when it was clear that Mrs. Haruno had said all that she was going to say. "I worry about Sasuke in the same manner. After what happened I really just want to wrap him in a big, fluffy blanket and hide him away from the world."

"Then why don't you? You are his older brother, aren't you? You could do it. And why doesn't Mikoto-san do the same? She is his mother."

"Because no matter how much we wish to change it, it is still Sasuke's choice whether or not he wants to continue with this lifestyle." Itachi sighed. Some things are in your blood, some things are undeniable. Sasuke was the product of a powerful shinobi clan and that breeding would most likely show through. Itachi doubted that his younger brother would ever give up being a shinobi.

"But-" Mrs. Haruno was cut off when there came a knock on the windowpane behind Itachi.

Since the sunlight was shining directly into the room at this time of day, the doctor had closed the white curtains to give the three gennin more peace and rest and to keep the sun from shining directly in their faces. But now Itachi pulled the curtains apart, and Mrs. Haruno made a squeaking sound when she spotted the ANBU that was standing outside the window, using chakra to stick to the wall.

"May we help you?" Itachi asked the ANBU once he had opened the window.

"The Hokage summons you, Itachi-san," the ANBU said simply and then disappeared.

'_So chatty, these shinobi__,__'_ Itachi thought sarcastically as he stepped up on the windowsill himself. They weren't too high up and there were several trees close by to jump to, and from them he could reach the closest rooftops.

"Wait!" Mrs. Haruno called out and Itachi turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. The woman bit her lip in worry. "I can still protect my precious daughter from all of this, can't I? I can keep her from the shinobi world, right?"

"You can, but the question is does Sakura-san want you to protect her? This mission, what they went through, it will change all three of them, it will force them to grow up in a way most other children their age won't grow for another couple of years. It will set them apart." Well, it would have had this been America or any of the lands and countries that Itachi had grown up familiar with. This world with such a heavy shinobi culture could be different, but it would probably be best to not tell Mrs. Haruno that right now.

The woman looked almost broken where she sat, desperate for any sort of answer to her questions. "Then what do I do?"

Itachi shrugged. "Be there when Sakura-san needs you, listen to her and let her make her own decisions, generally what you have been letting her do so far. It may not be what you wish for her, but it is her life."

"It will be difficult," Mrs. Haruno said as she pushed a strand of hair from Sakura's face. "She is my baby girl."

"It is always difficult when children start growing up," Itachi replied and then jumped out of the room and towards the closest tree. Touching down on the sturdy branch he easily pushed off again and reached the closest roof easily. From there on it was a simple journey towards the Hokage's Tower. It was the tallest building in the village and could be seen no matter where you were, all he had to do was head towards it and make sure he didn't go splat on the ground, or flatten a civilian if he fell.

'_I feel like I am in an _Assassin's Creed_ game,' _he thought to himself, shaking his head in amusement as he landed in front of the entrance to the Tower.

It was time to see what the Hokage wanted this time.

**XX**

There, done. Please tell me what you think.

Not the most exciting or funny chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks to:

frztears, pipper11, Weasel Fu, MahinaMura13, Slayer End, SnickyPop, D3athrav3n92, QuietInsomniac, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, 1Batman4u, phoebe turner, beloveddaughteroftheking, notBald, (...), danilion, Anber, alolha123, Inkwell of Stars, Chrysalis1986, minniemousemom, xRosePetalx, Red Jeanie, KuroitsukiNoMai, Ladyrouge214, hydrianway1013, KiraDemon, (...), DramaQueen4eva, Zombie Master, Miho, Barranca, Inoue Orihime15, LondelyAura, kitiem3000, Morrolan, xashi, Birra, Hiira, stupid thing, IReadNoNonsense, -00-night-eyes-00-, Madame Minuit12, Supercalafrajalicious, Annonymous, Rae37, Namine, and xatsumex.


	21. Chapter 21

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I updated myself on the newest happenings and revelations in the Naruto manga. Unfortunately I find that to be some of the most cliché things I have ever read, and so I am pretty much in denial about it all. I shall spare you the full rant.

Thanks to my good friend and beta, Beta the Second.

**Chapter Twenty-One**

A pack of chocolate pocky was already resting at the edge of the Hokage's desk when Itachi entered the room, and the young FBI agent knew at once that he was about to hear something that he wasn't going to like. Itachi sighed heavily and grabbed the small pack of goodies before he plopped gracelessly into the chair in front of the Hokage's desk and waited for the old man to start explaining.

"You aren't wearing the headband, I see," was the first thing that Sarutobi said.

"Not on a mission any more, now am I?" he had changed into a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt that he had brought along from New York, and the headband was stuffed in his bag in his room in the Uchiha household. But Itachi had kept the sandals. They were perfectly comfortable. Itachi also suspected that they might be specially made since shinobi pushed chakra through their feet to stick to surfaces. It seemed plausible.

"Unfortunately that is about to change."

"Excuse me?"

The Hokage sighed slightly. "The investigation into the Uchiha Police Force is coming along, and the village council wants to hear your views about the entire affair. They are very interested in hearing how things are done in the Outside world where you grew up."

"Buuuut...?" Itachi gobbled down two pocky sticks and waited for the old man's reply.

"You must understand that we shinobi have our own ways of settling things and doing investigation. Until now no one has really had any interaction or knowledge about how things are done where you are from, and they are wary of trusting your methods. So it has been suggested that we send you out on several missions to further test your methods and have more chances to see how they work."

The teen nodded. It was understandable that people wouldn't suddenly swear to a method that they had never seen in action before. Itachi certainly wouldn't trust his life to any of these jutsus that he knew the shinobi had but had never personally seen in action before.

"That is understandable. Just give me a couple of cases within the village and then everyone can see how I work," he said. "I don't see what's so bad about this. You put out the pocky and I feared you would demand my head on a silver platter or something."

"They want to send someone along to observe."

The teen shrugged. "So what? Those who joined the rescue mission observed all of it, so it's nothing new. Just send along one of them and-"

"None of those will be sent along," the Hokage cut him off. "The village council is afraid that the people you worked with previously could be biased, and they want the unbiased opinion of someone who has never even met you before. Whomever they choose to accompany you will be strictly observing you and your methods and not interacting or helping out in any way, shape or form."

Itachi frowned. The Hokage seemed very... intent on underlining the fact that he would have a tagalong. It was odd since the request wasn't really all that weird. Was the old man trying to tell him something without actually saying it? Itachi slowly munched on a pocky stick as he watched the old Hokage. The Hokage didn't so much as twitch and his face was carefully blank, but there was something in his eyes that set Itachi on edge for some reason. Itachi's eyes narrowed as his mind tried to come up with the potential answer to what it was that the Hokage was trying to wordlessly tell him.

Was the old man hinting that someone wanted to kill him? That someone within the Uchiha clan didn't appreciate that he had brought such dishonour to the clan and had decided to take the law into their own hands? Should Itachi start checking his food for poisons and look around for assassins wherever he went? Was that what this shinobi who was to accompany him going to do? Kill him? Shinobi were so damn tricky one never knew what they could come up with!

'_If I knew more about the village then I wouldn't have such troub__le finding out what was going on__,__'_ the teen thought, feeling annoyed.

"The Police Force is in serious trouble for their lack of vigilance," Sarutobi spoke up seeing that Itachi needed a bit more explanation. "Not many people are happy with them at the moment and you are an Uchiha yourself by birth. They are worried that you will protect your clan and give misinformation despite the fact that you are the one who discovered the Police Force's decline in discipline and work policy."

The long-haired teen stopped up as the answer made itself known. It was as obvious as an anvil to the head.

Clan politics and village politics were being mixed up along with a dash of bureaucracy, and all together it made one annoying messy soup.

Itachi sighed. While he had been here in the shinobi world he had gotten so used to having to think everything through from every possible angle. He had nearly forgotten that some things, fundamentally, were still simple. And all this that the Hokage was telling him, no matter what it sounded like, still ended up boiling down to the same thing: politics.

"Let me guess," he said dryly, "a member of the Uchiha clan demanded further proof?"

"Your cousin brought up a very valid point."

'_Shisui, huh?'_ Itachi thought. Of course, the Hokage could have been talking about another cousin, the Uchiha clan was a large one after all, but Itachi had only had regular interaction with one cousin. And only that selfsame cousin seemed to have a grudge against Itachi. Valid point or not, this was not only hindering the investigation but it was also annoying Itachi to high heaven and back. It was amazing how one's outlook on things changed when family got involved.

The FBI agent sighed once more. "I assume that I can't get out of it?"

"No, it has been decided upon by the village council already."

"And I also assume that I will not know who is to be following me like a rabid stalker?"

"To keep it as neutral as possible, the person will stay out of your sight and out of your mind."

"Alright. Then I suppose there is nothing else to do but graciously accept this wonderful offer of more experience in the life of a typical shinobi, and ask about the mission I am supposed to undertake."

The Hokage chuckled, "It is good to know that you see it that way." He picked up a scroll from his table and handed it to Itachi. "Everything is written there, and though I know you would have managed to read it in the end, I will tell you what is written in the interest of saving time."

"Your generosity knows no bounds." A flick of his wrist and the scroll landed right back onto the Hokage's desk.

That garnered a droll look from the old man. "The mission is requested by a merchant family important to Konoha's economy. They have good connections with the lands to the west, and keep those caravan routes open. They are also distant cousins of the current Lord of the Fire Country."

"I get it, I get it. No insulting the important and rich family," Itachi smiled angelically but the Hokage didn't seem to believe him for some strange reason. "Now, why did they ask for shinobi? Someone spot a spider and wants it killed or something? If that is the case I must tell you that I am against cruelty to animals."

"Please take this a bit more seriously, Itachi-kun. In the last two months the lord of the house, his wife, and the youngest child – a baby of only a few months – have died. At first no one thought much of it. The lord was quite old, and unfortunate though it is babies die every day. There have also been rumours of an epidemic raging in the villages closest to the household, so it would not have been much of a stretch if the household became infected. All reports also say that the three dead all bore signs of the sickness so no one became suspicious."

"It seems perfectly normal so far," Itachi agreed.

"The remaining children suspect foul play and apparently they have proof of it as well. They didn't wish to say anything else in their letter in case it was intercepted," Sarutobi explained. "Your mission would be to go there and find out if they are right and, if so, exactly who is killing the family off. If you leave within the hour you should reach the village and their home after half a day's travel."

"Ah, now, is that half a day of shinobi travel or of civilian travel? And if it is shinobi travel, is it half a day of gennin travel, chuunin travel, jounin travel or ANBU travel?" the teen asked.

"Shinobi travel, jounin speed to be precise. Chuunin speed would have you reach the village around nightfall."

"Chuunin speed sounds much more realistic for me," Itachi admitted. "With several long rests in the middle," he added. "Perhaps I should just go at gennin speed just in case? Or maybe Academy student?"

Sarutobi seemed amused. "That is for you to decide. I would recommend that you spend the next hour packing for the trip and dropping by the shinobi-only stores in town and get whatever you think you need for the mission." He took up an envelope from his desk and slid it across the table to Itachi. "Your first paycheque as a Konoha shinobi."

"Ah, my thanks. I would hate to have to ask Fugaku for money." Itachi opened the envelope and leafed through the money. He couldn't help but be rather impressed with the amount, and also surprised that they still used ryo as currency. "Uhm, incidentally, exactly what rank was the search mission for Team Seven? I doubt that a D-rank would garner so much money?"

"Whenever a shinobi goes missing, the search-mission will always be of B-rank. Since shinobi can reveal both village and clan secrets they are considered as potential traitors until we know exactly what happened to them – at this point the mission changes into either search-and-rescue or search-and-destroy depending on the situation."

The teen whistled, impressed. The shinobi certainly didn't leave anything to chance, did they? Well, except the Uchiha Police Force that is. Probably best not to start ranting about those guys. Itachi didn't think he'd be able to stop once he got started.

"And exactly where is this household and village located?" Itachi asked.

The Hokage pointed to one of the walls where a map hung. It showed the villages closest to Konoha while another, bigger but less detailed map showed all of Fire Country. Itachi approached the wall and stared at the smaller, more local map. Everything was written in kanji and there was little he could actually read straight off. Some of the names on the map Itachi managed to understand and some he guessed at out of the kanji that he actually knew. He easily found Konoha in the middle of the map and with the odd, stylized leaf-emblem marking the spot, but none of that helped him much when he had no idea the name of the place he was supposed to go to.

"Shirohanadani is the village's name."

Itachi's eyes narrowed as he looked through the names on the map. "White flower valley," he translated the name to himself, mumbling it under his breath as if that would help him find it. It took some time before he finally spotted it. "Ah! There it is! West by south-west."

The Hokage nodded. "Indeed. Towards the border of River Country. I recommend that you leave by the South Gate, follow the road until you reach the first fork, and then go straight west through the forest. You will know you are close to Shirohanadani when you climb the third step."

"Climb the third step?" he blinked and turned to look at the Hokage. "What's with the sudden mysteriousness?"

"Even an old man must find amusement somewhere."

The teen snorted. "Alright, you old fossil, I will climb all the steps needed. Now, is there something you recommend for me to get before I set off on this much anticipated adventure – and please note the sarcasm imbedded in those last three words."

"Duly noted," Sarutobi smiled slightly. "I would recommend that you get the standard Konoha shinobi uniform and a travel cloak. That will give you all the standard equipment of someone of chuunin rank. Any money you may have left afterwards you can spend as you see fit, and the shop attendants will help you out if you need it. They are all retired ninja and know their business."

"And where can I find these shops?"

"The market in the eastern part of town has rather tall houses. The shinobi shops are to be found on the roofs of the buildings surrounding the marketplace; this keeps civilian kids from wandering in accidentally."

The only thing that Itachi could think of when he heard the words 'civilian kids' and 'shinobi shop' in the same sentence, was an emphatic _ouch_.

**XXI**

The shop clerks sent him odd looks but were more than happy to help out. In the clothing shop Itachi was outfitted with the standard blue Konoha shinobi uniform and the green flak vest. The bandages on the legs were odd beyond belief. They offered minimal protection and you couldn't use those bandages if you really got hurt because they would be dirty. They were made from some sort of sticky fabric and didn't unravel all the time, which was at least something. The bandages around the thigh were equally as odd, and though they probably served as extra protection from the kunai and shuriken in the thigh-pouch – those things were sharp after all, and cutting through the material of the pouch would be far too easy – Itachi kept on worrying about the bandage sliding down his leg.

"Just shut up and wear them!" the shop clerk barked after the fifth time Itachi had asked about the bandages. "You'll get used to it in no time. Now, which scrolls do you want?"

"Scrolls?" Itachi parroted as he finished staring at himself in the full-length mirror in the shop. The uniform made him look... odd. Not like himself. It was a comfortable uniform, the flak jacket was surprisingly breathable, the sleeves of the shirt came to just past his elbows and didn't get in the way of his hands, the pants were comfortably loose but not so much that they got in the way. But no matter what it still felt... weird to see himself in the outfit.

"You don't know about scrolls?" the clerk said sarcastically.

"Let's just pretend that I am a complete newcomer and have no idea of what's what, shall we?" Itachi suggested. The shop clerk had been treating him as if Itachi was already supposed to know all the shinobi stuff, and though he knew some things thanks to his talks with Mikoto before Sasuke went missing, Itachi was still very far from being on Academy student level let alone actually an expert.

The clerk sent him another of those odd looks, then shrugged and pulled out a small scroll. "This is a scroll," he pronounced the words as if Itachi had problem understanding the language. "More specifically it is a storage scroll. Inside it you can store food or bottles of water or clothes or weapons. It makes it easier for a shinobi to travel when we don't have to carry around a large backpack full of clinking and clanking weaponry."

'_So it's like __pushing things into some sort of subdimension or something?'_ Itachi wondered as he stared at the thin scrolls that the clerk had pulled out, and then he sighed. _'Best not to think too much about it. I don't understand half the things these people do, so I better not even try. I don't want to end up with a broken brain.'_

"There are also transportation scrolls and summoning contract scrolls – but those are very special and can only be passed on from mentor to student." The clerk seemed to think that the possibility of getting hands on a summoning scroll to be zero to nil.

"So how does one put things into it or take it out of them?" Itachi asked and picked up one of the scrolls. It seemed too fragile to be able to hold sharp weapons.

"When you want to store something you write the name of what you want to store, retrace the writing in your own blood, place the desired and named object on the writing, then you push your chakra into the scroll and the object and the scroll will suck the object into itself. To bring something out again you will have to touch the written name of the thing you want to bring out and cancel the technique with a '_kai'_ while pushing chakra into the writing again. If the entire scroll is holding only weapons you can simply touch the scroll and bring them all out at the same time."

"I assume that it isn't that simple?"

The clerk snorted. "Of course not! A Seal Master first has to prepare a scroll for such use, and don't ask me how they do it, but a standard storage scroll is the result." He unfurled one of the scrolls all the way to the end so that they could see the thin wooden dowel it was wrapped around, and pointed out the tiny, tiny black markings all over the rod. "Those are the work of a Seal Master and they continue all along the edges of the scroll but you can't see them because of the borders. The colour of the border depends on what type of scroll it is, and it protects the edges of the paper as well as the Seal Master's seals under it. But those are things most shinobi don't have to know much about and have little use for – unless you are aiming to become a Seal Master, of course."

"Impressive," Itachi was quite honestly very impressed with these scrolls. "And you say that the colours tell you what kind of storage scroll it is?"

"Green for general items like food, water, clothes and so on. Red for weapons of all kinds, and blue for medical items." The clerk pointed to an example of each scroll as he named them. "Teleportation scrolls have grey edges, and scrolls for summoning are generally very distinctive and depend on the kind of summon they hold. So which ones do you want, and how many?"

The flak jacket had three pockets on each side at the front – six pockets in total – designed to hold scrolls and smaller, thinner weapons. The hip pouch was designed to hold only three scrolls while the rest of the space was made for kunai, rope and explosive tags – something Itachi was a bit wary about. Sure you had to push chakra into the tags in order for them to activate, but if you weren't careful during a fight you could end up being blown to bits accidentally.

Before he left the shop the clerk insisted on guiding Itachi through his first ever use of the storage scroll, and they sealed up the standard, pale gray rain cloak that went with the uniform.

In the weapons shop Itachi found it difficult to stop drooling over the sleek, light-weight katana blades on display. In the end the clerk – who bore resemblance to Tenten of all people – had to drag him away and sit him down and bring the required amount of weapons to fill up his pouches and the weapon-scrolls Itachi had bought. The clerk also threw in a couple of short senbon needles as a 'welcome to shinobi life' gift, and Itachi stuck them into the bandages around his shins. The needles were invisible now and could become quite useful if he ever lost all of his other weapons – not that Itachi expected to have to do a lot or any fighting at all – and this was a good though crazy way to test the bandages that the clerk in the clothes shop had been so proud of.

The last stop on the shopping trip was to the supplies shop where Itachi was further introduced to travel rations and soldier pills and whatever else the shinobi had come up with. And though everything so far had nearly eaten up his first paycheque, Itachi had to admit that it had been a very interesting experience.

'_I wonder if I am the only tokubetsu shinobi with a uniform, or if it's a common thing for tokubetsu shinobi to have one for whenever they are called out on a mission?'_ Itachi mused to himself as he walked through the town, blending in perfectly with all the other shinobi walking around him.

**XXI**

The last thing Itachi did before he left the village, was drop by the hospital. Sakura's mother wasn't there anymore, but Mikoto had showed up to sit vigil at Sasuke's side while she made the time pass by sewing something that Itachi couldn't figure out. All he could see was that it was large and sheet-like.

"You look very handsome in the uniform," Mikoto smiled at him and, like the mother she was, she straightened the protective collar on the green flak jacket. "You have bought the equipment and filled all the scrolls? I don't think you should have any need for all of that, but it's best to be prepared. Do you have enough pocket money for your journey and in case you have to rent a room at an inn? If not I keep some saved up in the vase in the kitchen, the one that is decorated with blue flowers. A very civilian place to keep them, of course, but-"

Itachi chuckled. "Don't worry, I still have left more than enough for the upcoming mission." Mikoto really was a maternal person through and through. She reminded Itachi of a younger version of Mrs. Kishimoto.

"Yes, well, now you know that the money is there for future reference." Mikoto nervously smoothed out a wrinkle on the flak jacket. "Please be careful when you travel?" she said finally after a few heartbeats.

"Of course." It was no wonder that the woman was worried considering what had happened on Sasuke's first mission out of the village.

Mikoto seemed to want to say something more, to smother him, to forbid him to go, but she controlled herself and simply sighed. Even though she smiled the worry was clear in her eyes, and she tried to mask it by telling Itachi the latest news about Sasuke's condition according to the doctor and nurses. "And so, unless their situation suddenly gets worse, they should be awake again within a week or so."

"That is very good news."

"I have talked with Yamanaka Inoichi and he is already briefed on what happened to them and is preparing for the sessions he will have with them to help them through the trauma."

Itachi had to leave shortly afterwards if he was to have any hope of getting to the village around nightfall rather than the middle of the night, but he did drop by Kakashi's room at the hospital. The silver-haired man was sitting comfortably in bed reading a book, but looked up when Itachi stuck his head inside.

"Hey, I see you replaced the mask," Itachi said as he stepped inside.

"I see you have a new outfit." Kakashi put the book down, the statement holding a note of questioning.

Itachi nodded and stopped next to the man's bed. "Politics," he said simply. "I'm off on another mission to prove that my skills are real and not just luck. Well, it's not really a bad thing. This only helps to cement my methods as more real and will spare me for a lot of trouble in the future."

"You expect to get more missions in the future?"

The FBI agent snorted. "I seem to be getting a lot of those for being only a tokubetsu shinobi who has barely been here for two and a half months. With the way things are going I'm starting to suspect that someone is trying to push me into a real shinobi career."

"Yes, well, good luck with this mission." Kakashi seemed a bit amused. All around the man didn't seem to have suffered much during his captivity, and he would probably be discharged from the hospital within a couple of days but with orders to take it easy for another while yet.

"Thank you. I may need it.

"When you leave remember to register with the shinobi manning the desk by the gates," Kakashi reminded him. "And remember to be polite to the person that hired you."

Itachi nearly pouted. "The Hokage said something like that, too. Why does everyone think that I will insult people the second I open my mouth?" he wondered and the older man chuckled slightly. "Well, I'll leave you then. I need to get going. You get better."

"And you get back safely. Good luck with the mission."

"Thanksies."

At the South Gate of Konohagakure he had to stop up and wait for a few minutes before an outgoing trio of shinobi had been registered and then an incoming gennin team had to announce their arrival – Itachi waved to Hinata who was part of said gennin team. No wonder he hadn't seen her at Sasuke's beside yet, she hadn't been in the village the past few days. The young girl looked surprised to see him and shyly waved back, but her attention was quickly arrested by a wild-haired team-mate who had a small puppy – yes, honest to god live dog – on his head, and even where Itachi stood he could hear the puppy-boy demanding to know who Itachi was.

'_Honestly, __the kid should just ask her out__,__'_ Itachi thought to himself in amusement as he heard Hinata stammer out an answer.

"Who?" the shinobi behind the desk asked. An eye-patch covered his left eye.

"Uchiha Itachi," Itachi supplied his name. Unfortunately he hadn't been able to register as Kishimoto Itachi when he had joined the Konoha shinobi ranks.

"ID number?" asked the other shinobi. The man had a very flat and large nose.

"012110."

"Where are you going?"

"Shirohanadani."

A minute later Itachi was stepping through the South Gates of Konoha, ready to start his mission. It somehow felt like this was his very first, official mission now that he was dressed like a real shinobi, had personally prepared for it and had been given the mission directly by the Hokage himself.

He looked up at the bright, cloudless skies and the rich, green life all around him.

Somehow this seemed much more important than a simple mission. More symbolic in a way.

'_I feel like __I have just been caught somehow,'_ Itachi sighed and took his first step down the road. _'At least they have pocky here in this world.'_

**XXI**

There. Please tell me what you think.

Please excuse the horrible name of the village, and please tell me the correct way to form the name if I did it horribly wrong.

Thanks to:

CleverBast, frzntears, Birra, MrEmperor, KiraDemon, Slayer End, stupid thing, QuietInsomniac, KuroitsukiNoMai, Weasel Fu, Wandering Hitokiri, Skedaddle-San, xRosePetalx, beloveddaughteroftheking, HolyKnight5, hello, Morrolan, Sharingan-Youkai., LonelyAura, Chaney2250, Hiira, MahinaMura13, Barranca, phoebe turner, -00-night-eyes-00-, SnickyPop, SirKaid, ... , minniemousemom, Ladyrouge214, Aki WildQueen, FaerysWing, xashi, titpuce86, ellesra, xatsumex, cherry-888, TripOverFlatSurfaces, Rilili, Beta the Second, WraithReaper, and Comosicus.


	22. Chapter 22

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author****'****s ****Note:** Sorry about the absence. I am in the middle of finding work and other stuff so updates will be slow.

Correct version up as soon as beta finishes.

**Chapter Twenty-Two **

The weather had been nice. It had been a wee bit cloudy, the clouds being white balls of fluff that lazily floated along and created occasional shadow way down below on ploughed fields and rice paddies. Farmers had worked in the fields until it got dark and had then gone home or to the local inn. And when the twilight passed darker skies snuck up on everyone, blocked the rising moon and the stars, and unleashed rain of Armageddon proportions upon the poor earth.

Well, perhaps not really, but that's what it seemed like to Itachi who was by now wrapped up in the standard shinobi rain cloak, making his way through the wind and the rain in a direction he had absolutely no idea of. He simply walked and hoped he was going in the correct direction. He had followed the Hokage's directions perfectly so far, but those three steps or whatever hadn't appeared yet, and if they were some sort of small, manmade feature in the landscape then there was no way Itachi would see them in this gloom.

He should have brought a map.

And a compass.

A guide sounded just about right, too.

Definitely a guide.

"If I start melting I'm so blaming it on the Hokage." Itachi muttered and looked down at himself. The cloak was very good at doing its job so he was mostly dry, but his feet in the sandals were wet and cold. Forget melting, he was going to get a cold from this, he just knew it.

Perhaps he hadn't travelled as fast as he had thought? Perhaps he was still far away from Shirohanadani?

Where was that guide when he needed them?

The shinobi needed to invest in some sort of cell phone service or something. Those throat-mikes that they occasionally used during missions had incredibly short range and were rather useless in Itachi's opinion. Ah, what he wouldn't give for his cell phone right now. GPS. Warm and dry feet. Whatever came first.

Shinobi were so old fashioned in this that it wasn't even funny.

In the end Itachi almost stumbled over the steps.

Or, to be more precise, he walked straight into the first one.

Rubbing his aching nose Itachi stepped backwards and looked up into the skies. The steps turned out to be natural terraces in a steep, steep cliff. There was a path that led around the entire thing and – Itachi assumed – led to the village itself at some point. But if one was to take the Hokage on his word then climbing the cliff face would spare him time and get him to the village a bit quicker than following the road would.

Itachi pursed his lips and tried to estimate how long it would take him to climb the cliff face. If he did it like any other normal human being it would probably take him until tomorrow morning. But if he did the shinobi thing and used chakra it could be about five minutes or less. The problems he could see were that A) Itachi had been using chakra to speed up his travelling all day that day, and B) the rain made the cliff wet and using chakra on wet stone was probably different than on dry stone. Like a car could lose its grip on the road when it rained.

"Well, there is nothing to it but to do it. The thought of being dry and warm is far too tempting." He said to himself and put one foot on the stones. It took a moment of testing the grip before Itachi felt confident in climbing the sheer cliff face to the first terrace. He did it at a run and then in a couple of jumps, and it was only when he reached the very top and was safely between the trees and bushes that Itachi allowed himself a moment to reflect on his how high he had climbed in a few minutes and just how wrong it could have gone had he made a single mistake.

Becoming a pancake was not the way to go for cool FBI agents and Annoying Big Brothers™.

Through the trees he could see faint, flickering lights so naturally Itachi headed that way. He emerged right at the edge of the village itself, a wooden fence and a warning sign telling everyone that the cliff was 50 metres in this direction and to take care. The village itself was an odd mix of traditional wooden houses and the more modern ones seen in Konoha. It had a certain charm to it, and off the bat Itachi counted about thirty houses in total. He mentally added a few dozen houses that he couldn't see and that were further away, and in the end it added up to an okay village. It was close enough to the other towns and main roads to be updated on things quickly, but far enough away so that it kept the rustic, calm, slow feel of smaller villages.

Itachi decided that he rather liked the place.

In such a small community it was likely that solving this mystery would be relatively quick and easy, and Itachi could get back to Konoha and Sasuke as soon as possible.

Just as he was wondering if he should stay at the inn for the night before visiting the rich merchant family tomorrow or if he should simply go there right now, the choice was taken out of his hands. Down the road from the right came a light and then another and another until an entire small procession showed up. Two guards carried swords and paper lanterns in the front. They were followed by a pair of carriers carried a _kago_ between them. In the chair sat a young teen of about fourteen, his mien serious and stern and lit up by the other two guards that followed and that were also carrying lights.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the spectacle and wondered if he had suddenly ended up some two or three hundred years back in time. Who the hell used a _kago_ these days anyway? The procession stopped on the road right in front of Itachi who cocked his head to the side and leaned back against the fence. This was promising to be interesting.

"You are from Konohagakure, are you not?" the teen inside the covered _kago_ asked as he barely deigned to turn his head towards Itachi.

"Yeah, that's me." Itachi said.

"Good. This one has been expecting you today. Konohagakure said that they were sending someone who would arrive tonight. You are a bit late. No matter, follow this one and we shall talk more freely." The young man ordered. The procession turned around and set off back the way they had come.

Itachi watched them go for a few seconds; feeling suddenly amused at everything, and then sped up to catch up to them.

Interesting indeed.

The house they came to was barely five minutes of walking from where they had met, and it was the stereotypical old fashioned mansion that only had the ground floor and that spread over a large piece of land. There was a high wall all around, the gate was formidable and thick and everything was perfectly maintained. There wasn't a single leaf in the courtyard they entered as far as Itachi could see in the light from the paper lanterns.

The carriers didn't stop until they were right by the _rouka_, the wooden walkways all around the house, and the young teenager could step out from the chair and straight under the roof without getting wet. Itachi followed, pulling off his raincoat and kicking off his wet sandals before stepping onto the wooden walkways.

"Your shoes and raincoat will be dried by one of the servants. This one will lead the way to where we shall hold our meeting." The boy said.

Itachi followed.

They rounded a corner and walked a bit more, turned another corner and finally the boy slid open one of the shouji doors, and then a fusuma and revealed a small room in the middle of the house. Itachi slid the shouji shut and did the same with the fusuma, and finally turned to the younger teen. The boy was fiddling with a few lanterns to light up the room. He was dressed rather nicely, his clothes of high quality to Itachi's untrained eye, and he was acting very uppity. Especially that way of talking. Honestly, 'this one'?

"It is an honour to meet you, shinobi-san," the younger teen said. "This one is Ashihei, the heir of this family and the second child. This one's older sister and her family lives here, too, and this one's younger sister is sleeping right now. You shall meet them all tomorrow. This one-"

"Uchiha Itachi. Now, let's get down to business," Itachi cut in as he sat down on the floor, totally disregarding any proper way of sitting. He couldn't handle many more 'this one's' without losing his sanity. "I was told there had been deaths here that might seem like murders, and that you people had some proof about it. Start talking and let's see what we can do."

Ashihei seemed a bit perturbed at having his obviously well prepared speech cut off in such a manner, but pulled himself together quickly enough. "This one's mother and father died first, three months ago. We thought naught of it for there were rumours of an illness in a neighbouring village that took lives, and a group of refugees had arrived in Shirohanadani just then. But when this one's baby brother also died two weeks after the doctors declared the plague a virile strain of the common flue, this one got suspicious. And, just before this one sent a message to Konohagakure, a family maid died."

"Sorry to be saying this, but so far I can't see anything but an odd set of coincidences." He wasn't going to sugar coat what he thought, important merchant family or not.

"This one was coming to that!" Ashihei barked. He cleared his throat and collected himself again. "This one had the opportunity to sneak into the room where the maid's body was kept until the doctor could come up, and this one examined her himself. This one found two puncture marks on the maid's wrist, though this one has no idea from what they might be."

"Puncture wounds? How big were they? What did they look like? How far apart were they?"

"This one shall do you one better and shall provide a picture of them." Ashihei reached into his gi and pulled out a piece of paper.

If Itachi had expected a photograph like he was used to back at the FBI, he was sorely disappointed. It was a drawing on rice paper. It was a female arm from elbow to fingertips, the sleeve of her kimono having been pushed back and two black dots donated the wounds. "And this is accurate?"

"This one made the depiction as close to life size as this one could with what little time this one had. The wounds were about two finger widths apart, and they seemed deep. However, they also did seem old. A few days this one should think."

"Indeed. Well, _this__one_ will be keeping this picture." Itachi folded up the piece of rice paper. It was the only clue he had to go on, and he wasn't about to simply let it get lost by people talking in third person. "I assume that I can't start talking with people tonight?"

"Of course not. This one's family is in mourning and as are the servants, the cremations were held nary three days ago. You shall have to wait for tomorrow. The servants have prepared a room for you at the servants' quarters." Ashihei said imperiously. As if summoned by magic a servant opened the fusuma and bowed low to them. The elder man bade Itachi follow him to his lodgings, but other than that the man said absolutely nothing.

Standing in a small room with a neatly folded futon and a tiny lamp, Itachi sighed and shook his head.

"Let's not make this any easier on me, shall we? This one might not be able to handle it after all!" he grumbled and unfolded the bedding. What he really wanted was to go on a rampage of interrogation and sleuthing, but that would simply alienate the residents of the house and the village, and that was the last thing that he needed right now. Had he had a team here to back him up and help the investigation Itachi wouldn't have backed down, but he didn't have a team to help him. He was all alone.

"This would never have happened had this been the FBI. No one would have told us to wait just because the house was in mourning. No one would have gotten rid of the bodies! Ugh. This place is so messed up." He grumbled.

**XXII**

"-and this is this one's older sister and her husband," Ashihei finished the introductions. It was breakfast and Itachi had been invited to eat with the family while the servants and everyone else ate in the kitchen.

"This Toyoko is honoured to meet you, shinobi-san." The sister couldn't be more than twenty five or so. She had a baby in her arms and a young child of three was sitting next to her. Beside her sat her husband. He was the only one in the family who seemed somewhat normal and didn't address himself in third person. He introduced himself as Katai, a "reformed medicine seller".

"Sumiko has not spoken since our parents passed away." Ashihei said as he introduced the last family member, the youngest girl.

'_If__ I__ had__ to__ introduce__ myself__ and__ speak __in__ third__ person__ I__ would__ stop__ talking,__ too,__'_ Itachi thought already sporting a headache from all the 'this one's' and it was only breakfast. It wasn't boding well for the entire day, it really wasn't. Instead of saying what he was thinking, Itachi introduced himself properly to the family, and finally – _finally_ – could begin doing his job.

"I do hope you realise that I will be asking everyone questions that will be very uncomfortable to answer." His voice brooked no arguments. He wasn't going to spare them just because they were rich. "And I will begin right now, in fact, yes, over breakfast. Let's start with your parents," Itachi pointed at Ashihei, Toyoko and Sumiko. "Tell me about them. What were they like? What did they do? What were their hobbies? Did they ever argue? Everything you can think of I want to know."

From what the siblings told him the lord and the lady of the merchant house were very well liked by the people in town and by the servants – something that was later confirmed when he talked to the servants. They were mind mannered, kind people, the lord maintaining a small garrison of samurai to protect the village and the lady helping out by donating money to the school and to the small hospital and so on. In general, they were utterly perfect as far as their children were concerned. No, they couldn't think of any enemies, but being such important merchants they had to have _some_. It was a given. No, there had been no threats. No one had acted oddly. No one had seen anything.

When it came to asking about the baby that had died, the entire family shut down totally and Toyoko looked ready to start crying once again as she hugged her own children close, and Itachi hurriedly moved on to asking about the unfortunate maid that had died. Unfortunately there was nothing much that the family could tell him about her and the servants themselves only said the same thing: the girl had come with one of the caravans, she was kind, a hard worker and had quickly earned her place in the household.

It was maddeningly vague. There was so damn little to go on that Itachi wanted to pull his hair out. There had to be _something_ to give him a hint on what was going on!

"Where was the maid found?"

"In the back of the garden by one of the gardeners starting his work. She was barefoot according to them." Katai replied. "I could take you there right after breakfast, if you wish to see?"

Itachi nodded. "That would be helpful."

"This one shall come, too," Ashihei said. "This one is interested in seeing this investigation through, and also in seeing what methods the shinobi use."

Itachi, who had been hoping to escape from the 'this one's', simply sighed and resigned himself to an entire day of the horror.

The gardens were, of course, large and tended and beautiful. They had a much more tended feel than the gardens at the Uchiha compound, and Itachi found that he preferred the slightly wilder Uchiha gardens than this. However, this well tended place would make it easier to find any clues – unless the gardeners had already been over the place.

"No, they haven't. They don't want to go near the place where she was found until a priestess has been here to remove the poor girl's spirit." Katai said when Itachi asked. "Superstitious folk these villagers even this close to the main roads and with all the available science. Perhaps they don't really believe but demand it just in case?" he shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?'

Ashihei shook his head. "This one thinks they simply take the opportunity to be lazy. Now, shinobi-san, what do you hope to see here in this place that we can't and couldn't see?"

"When I see it, I'll let you know." Itachi replied.

The place where the maid had been found was at the very back of the garden, a good two minute walk along the white gravel paths. It was a place that was still being remodelled by the gardeners and generally not visited by most people from the house. It was a secluded place behind rows of bushes and a few trees, but still visible from the back of the house. Itachi could see the servants milling around on the wooden walkways and in the gardens, but according to all tales the maid had come out here during the dark and had been found the next morning. No one could have seen her then.

The soil had a large indentation of a human body where the maid had fallen dead and all around it was disturbed by many feet from when she had been found and picked up and carried off. It disturbed the entire picture, but Itachi continued looking around. After that Boise National Forest case with the two human hunters, Itachi had made it his goal to gain some tracking experience. He hadn't had much time to work on the skill, but he dared to say that he was better than he had been before he started paying much attention to everything around him. It helped to have gotten a bit of instruction from a few of the people back at the FBI, too. The rain last night and the mishmash of footprints all around didn't help at all, but in the end Itachi saw them. The special little footprints that looked nothing like any of the others.

"What do you see?" Ashihei almost demanded as he and Katai watched Itachi move back and forth, tracking the odd footprints as much as he could in both directions. Itachi pointed out the footprints. "What are those? It looks like someone walking on tiptoe."

"The maid was running." Itachi said. "Not jogging, but flat out running away from the house until she fell dead here."

"Couldn't it be the footprints of some of the servants that came when they found her body?" Katai asked.

Itachi nodded. "Of course, but how many of the other servants would come out here barefoot? I suspect she either didn't put on her shoes or lost them somewhere during the run from the house to here."

"But what would she be running from?" Ashihei asked, eyes still on the footprints as he tried to track them like Itachi had done.

"The killer."

"You don't mean that the killer is someone from _inside_ the house?" Ashihei stared. "One of the servants this one presumes?"

"Never presume anything." Itachi said. "At the moment the most likely explanation is that the killer is someone inside the house. Of course, the maid could have run out here to meet someone, so we have to keep that option open, too, until we get definite proof." Which would be difficult because the idiots had cremated the body already, but who cared?

Itachi sighed. "Alright, I'm done out here. Let's go on inside. Show me the rooms your parents and the baby were sleeping in and usually spent their time in. And the maid, too, of course."

The maid's room was a large room where the four resident maids shared and there was nothing there that Itachi found interesting. The room that the lord and the lady of the house had slept in had a large raised platform. On top of that there was a thick, comfortable mattress and on top of the mattress was the large futon that the pair had used. On the four corners of the platform were poles that held up a canopy roof over the bed, and sheer and thick fabrics were hanging down all around the platform. One could draw them like curtains, creating more or less privacy depending on what one wanted. At the head of the platform and the mattress, right where the two pillows were, five thick ropes of satin like threads hung down from the ceiling.

"What are these for?" Itachi looked at Ashihei and Katai.

"At one point they were used to call for the servants," Ashihei replied. "But this one's father dismantled the system and simply kept them as decoration and tradition more than anything else. Why? Could they be important?"

"I don't know yet. Perhaps." Itachi walked over to the wall, used chakra to walk up it and then the wooden ceiling and back to where the ropes hung. There were holes around each of the ropes and the ropes actually hung on small chains at the very top and the chains went into the ceiling, past the wooden panels that Itachi stood on. He pulled on all the ropes once, but there was no give at all. The system really had been dismantled.

It was odd as all hell to crouch down on the ceiling, hanging upside down and examining the ropes, and Ashihei stared with all the fascination of a scientist who had just found a black hole in his lunch or something while Katai looked less than mildly impressed, but Itachi paid it no special mind. It was normal, he had been the same just a few months ago after all and knew the feeling of fascination well.

"Anything interesting apart from dust?" Katai asked.

Itachi walked back down until he stood correctly like a normal human being once more. "You've got some monstrous dust bunnies up there."

"There is a void between the panels of the ceiling and the roof," Ashihei explained. "The servants clean it as best they can, and they do a thorough cleaning twice a year, but it is bound to have a breeding ground for dust up there."

"Dust is the enemy of us all." Itachi agreed. "Now, where did the baby sleep?"

"Just next door." Katai replied and led the way. He slid the door open and revealed a smaller platform with a smaller futon. There was a canopy here, too, and ropes as well that hung down from the ceiling along with several baby toys. To keep the baby from rolling off the bed there were a lot of pillows all around to act as a barrier, and there was even a small fence going around the platform, too high for the baby to get over.

Itachi hummed and examined the ceiling here, too, finding the same holes at the base of the ropes. He frowned as he came down, eyes narrowed as they observed the room thoughtfully. There was an idea ticking the back of his mind, an idea of how this could have been done if not by whom, but at the moment he couldn't quite catch it.

What was worse this all actually seemed somewhat… familiar.

"Is there somewhere I can think a bit in peace?" he asked Ashihei.

"Did you find anything? Do you know what happened?"

"I need to think about it." He insisted.

Ashihei wasn't happy but he and Katai showed Itachi to the room that served as the library. "Amazing place, isn't it?" Katai grinned and twirled around. "I've collected a good deal of these myself while I was still travelling. There are some truly rare books here that you can't get anywhere else, books from when the nations were trading with the other world beyond the great sea. These are my pride and joy. After my family, of course."

"Of course."

Itachi sighed when Ashihei and Katai finally left him alone. He sat down on the floor next to the small table provided with papers and ink and brushes. He really needed a bit of time to think. This was the first time he would be doing this without anyone there to bounce his ideas off of like he was used to, so he needed to be very careful and think everything through perfectly to make sure that he made no mistake.

He pulled out his notepad and pencil and the paper he had gotten from Ashihei yesterday. So, what did he know about the case?

Four people were already dead, one of those being a young, defenceless baby.

The maid had had two puncture marks on her wrist. Now, Itachi wasn't quite certain he could trust Ashihei's skills in art, or trust that the boy had actually examined the body as thoroughly as Itachi would have done. For all Itachi knew these two puncture marks weren't the only marks on the maid, but there was no way he could check that now.

Except for the maid, three of the dead had been found in their bedrooms. It was obvious how that had happened; the murderer had used the hollow space between the wooden panels of the ceiling and the roof itself to move about. However, it had to have been someone very small and very light in order to get about up there without falling through the panels or making any significant amount of noise that could have alerted people below.

The maid had been running away from the house – most likely – and from whatever was in there. Had she seen the murderer during work? Had she _known_ who it was, confronted them and ended up dead herself?

"So many questions." Itachi sighed and looked down at his notebook and the paper from Ashihei. This was why he liked having someone to bounce ideas off of, someone with a different view on things, but he had no one. And all because of stupid village politics and the Uchiha clan who were being total idiots.

Itachi rubbed his eyes and absentmindedly looked at the books on the shelf right next to the table, and yawned.

He stopped mid-yawn as he realised what he was looking at. It was a book he was very familiar with back in New York, but this was a very old printed version of it and it was in Japanese too. It took his brain a moment to actually translate the title of the book, and Itachi grabbed it off the shelf, opening it to the contents page. He breezed through the Japanese writing as fast as he could – which wasn't very fast at all – searching for something specific.

And then he found it.

Itachi smirked, tapping the writing. "So that's how these murders were done. The game's not over yet!"

**XXII**

There, please let me know what you think.

Can you guys figure out how the murders were done? It is inspired by a very famous story by a very famous author. All the clues are provided here in the chapter, though, perhaps a bit vague. Well, I hope you enjoyed either way.

The Boise National Forest case mentioned in this chapter is found at the start of chapter 10. Just FYI.

**To**** dhh:** I have no idea if you just flamed me or complimented me. Really. It's a fanfic. An AU fanfic at that. I can change whatever the hell I want. This entire fic is just to explore possibilities of 'what if', it isn't a serious fic in any way, shape or form no matter what it seems like. Attaching a 'LOL' at the end doesn't make the review positive. However, I choose to take it as a bad attempt at humour and leave it at that.

Thanks to:

Diamone, phoebe turner, cherry-888, Beloved Daughter, Slayer End, SnickyPop, ZeniaFlower, Silver, KuroitsukiNoMai, Beta the Second, QuietInsomniac, minniemousemom, spider's mistress, kitiem3000, aloha123, KoiGirlPGSM, frzntears, SkyFyre37, Weasel Fu, xrosepetalx, Barranca, stupid thing, AMNOS, deitarionSSokolow, ennui deMorte, Prince Jang, Morrolan, IReadNoNonsense, Nostalgic Beauty, Huitt1989, Scholar of Time, Dracowar, xatsumex, iRead93, realdarkangel, OoNakuoO, Sacred3, , Dimensional Roamer, bluebird, thenextgreatcouchpotato, …, GuardianHitokiri, laelruin, Dumti, Buffy-CrazyaboutAngel, itachiluv18, Blinded in a bolthole, AkatsukiMemberShadow, and Saturday101.


	23. Chapter 23

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** I could have sworn I updated this thing a mere two weeks ago. Apparently it has been five months or more. My, how time flies.

Correct version up as soon as beta finishes.

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Could it really be that simple? Could the Unsub really have taken inspiration from an old and classical detective story? What did that say about the Unsub then?

This was the first time Itachi had come across books from the world he had grown up in here in these shinobi lands, and if Katai was right then there had been trade between the two – that world and this one – so it was obvious how the books had gotten here. Being an avid collector of such books, Katai would be the painfully obvious answer to being the Unsub, but Itachi didn't think so. Anyone who had read these books – and especially this compilation volume of all of Sherlock Holmes's cases – would have recognized where the inspiration was taken from. It could point to Katai never actually having read the books, or never having read this particular one yet. And according to Katai these books were rare, your average Joe wouldn't have the chance of reading it any old day of the week.

Did that mean that the Unsub was trusting that people wouldn't recognise where their inspiration had come from?

But, if that was the case, why take inspiration from a fictional mystery that no one knew about and could compare the murders to?

Did that mean that the Unsub took inspiration from the mysteries not to draw attention but because it was the first and the best way they came across to kill the victims?

There was something not quite right here.

"I need to know who has read these books." Itachi muttered to himself and got to his feet. Going out there to talk with the merchant family and the servants meant a whole lot of 'this one's and 'master Itachi's and he hated it. Gave him a friggin headache every single time. Especially Ashihei. The guy had a good head on his shoulders, but he needed to lose the 'this one'-attitude. Seriously. It would make conversing with him much more pleasant.

Exiting the library Itachi headed towards the…. Well, actually, he had absolutely no bloody idea where to go in order to find anyone. So his great plan for this involved walking around until he found someone. Or until they found him. Preferably before he turned into a skeleton. Who needed such big houses anyway?

He walked down corridors, peeked into rooms and crossed wooden walkways, but he couldn't find anyone. Not a single soul. Which was weird because he knew this big house had more servants than it needed, and he had expected Ashihei to be practically waiting outside the library doors to question Itachi the second he stepped out.

Had his presence in this house frightened the Unsub into acting?

Itachi stopped up at that, then sighed. "Friggin hell. Why does this always happen? Why? If I had a team this would never have happened! Bloody shinobi."

Proceeding with greater caution from now on he searched throughout the entire house systematically until he came to the family wing of the house. It was the muffled sounds of talking that caught his attention, and he carefully snuck in closer in hopes of hearing what was being said. The house was very old fashioned and the walls were thin and the sliding doors covered with rice paper. As soon as he got close enough it was almost painfully easy to hear what was being said.

"How could you do this?" Katai was demanding.

"How could I not? All the scraping and bowing and the 'this one's and lord knows what else! It made me sick!"

Itachi frowned. The voice was female, but it didn't sound like any of the women of the household that he had interviewed. It was a bit deeper, huskier. Almost a bit masculine.

"Did you never love us?" Ashihei cried out.

"How can one love people like you? Thinking you're all that and so much above everyone else in station, but pretending to be humble by using archaic language. Well, I have news for you, dear brother, it doesn't work. It makes you seem all the more like an idiot and a snob!"

Brother? Well, that did kind of narrow down the field. The only two sisters in the house were Toyoko and Sumiko. And Sumiko handn't spoken since the death of their parents. Her voice was bound to be a bit husky and hoarse from disuse.

"Leave her alone!" Ashihei's words were followed by sounds of desperate but hindered movement. "You get that thing away from my sister!"

"Only glad to! Here you go, darling, a gift for you."

"What have you done? It will kill her!"

"Dear brother, you said to get it away from your sister. Aren't I your sister, too?"

"I claim no kinship with you, vermin!"

Good going, Ashihei, let's piss off the dangerous person even more, yes? Itachi sighed. Well, perhaps it wasn't that bad. An incensed person was more likely to make mistakes. That meant that Itachi would have a better chance to save everyone. But how should he do this?

Be a proper Konoha shinobi and come up with some totally epic jutsu? Probably not. Itachi didn't know many offensive jutsu, and the one he knew was a grand fireball that would set everything in this house aflame and everyone would die. Not the successful end to a mission he was hoping for.

Be all sneaky-ninja and assassinate the Unsub? It had merit except he would still have to actually get inside the room. He could try to get a weapon and throw it through the flimsy sliding door, but there was too much chance of actually hitting the hostages. Again, not the best ending to a so far successful-ish mission.

'_Best do what I'm best at and wing it.'_ He finally decided.

Now, he just needed the opportune moment to go inside.

"You will not get away with this!" Katai was saying as Itachi focused in on the conversation again. "Uchiha-san will stop you!"

"Yes, Uchiha-san. Ugh! If it hadn't been for him this would have gone off without a hitch! He arrived last night and now it's barely noon, and already he has destroyed everything and forced me to act! I expected you to contact Konohagakure and hire a shinobi, but not even I expected them to send the Konohagakure ANBU!"

What did the Konoha ANBU have to do with this? Nevermind, no time to think about it now, Itachi had just found the best moment to go inside the room. He stepped back from the door slightly, cleared his throat quietly, and then pushed open the sliding doors violently and struck a pose.

"_Nobody_ expects the Konoha ANBU! Our chief weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear, fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency- no! Our three weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Hokage and nice, tight uniforms! Sorry, that went wrong; I'll come back in again!"

And with that said he was out of the room faster than anyone could react.

It took a moment before he heard someone chasing after him.

Itachi had no idea how many people were working together so he had to get away before he could actually take a moment to think through what he had seen inside the room. But where to hide? He looked around wildly as he ran. The rooms were too obvious and would be checked. Under the floor would have been nice but he had found no hatches or doorways that led down, nor did he know any cool jutsu that could help. So that left only one option.

A chakra powered skip and a hop later, Itachi was sticking to the ceiling and pushing away one of the panels. A heartbeat later he had crawled into the space between the ceiling and the roof, and he replaced the panel just in time to hear his pursuer round the corner and disappear down the corridor.

The space between the ceiling and the roof was barely big enough to crouch in and it was full of monstrous dust bunnies. But it was a hiding place good enough for now. It wasn't like he planned to stay here for ages.

So what had he learned when he had barged into the room?

Well, for one people made the funniest faces when they were shocked like that. If Itachi didn't know better he would say they were torn between utter shock and wondering if there was something wrong with Itachi's brain. It also meant, most likely, that the Unsub wasn't used to unexpected things suddenly happening, wasn't used to acting and changing their plan in the blink of an eye. Just look at how long it took before the Unsub chased after him. That he had managed to shock them stupid to such a degree with his unconventional entrance meant that the Unsub was new at this. Very new.

The thought made him smirk. He really was good at what he did.

The second thing he learned was that the entire household – from the baby to the very last servant – had been forced into the room, tied up and sitting on the floor. If Itachi remembered his boy scout days correctly, the knot that had been tied quite professionally. He hadn't seen exactly that knot before but it was similar enough to ones that he knew, similar enough for Itachi to be quite certain that it was almost impossible to get out of. Other than being tied up everyone had been alive.

The third thing he had seen was that Sumiko was one of the people tied up.

The Unsub had been Toyoko. The soft-spoken, sobbing wife of Katai, and mother of two. What could make a woman like that do something like this? And to children no less? One would think her motherly instincts would hinder her at least somewhat, but that didn't seem to be the case at all.

Itachi frowned. What worried him, though, was that he hadn't seen anything that could be constituted as a weapon, nothing that Ashihei could have protested being put on his sister Sumiko. The fact that he hadn't seen it could mean one of two things: either it was so small that it could be seen in a quick look through a full room, or Toyoko had taken it with her. It would be best to make sure that it hadn't stayed behind and wouldn't kill any of the hostages, though.

Grumbling about things being too troublesome, Itachi started making across the beams and back towards the room where the hostages were. He used chakra to keep himself steady as he went from beam to beam. The ceiling panels weren't strong enough to hold his weight, and besides, they creaked alarmingly. No, best tick to the sturdier beams just in case even if it was more difficult. Mentally calculating where he was compared to the layout of the house, Itachi stopped when he thought he was above the room with the hostages. He carefully and slowly lifted the corner of one of the ceiling panels and looked down into the room. The hostages were there and, if one could go by the way they acted, Toyoko wasn't in the room.

Lifting the thin, wooden panel away completely, Itachi crawled out and used chakra to stick to the ceiling. Feeling like Spiderman and ignoring the people that were now gaping at him, he made his way until he was right above Sumiko and Ashihei. He still couldn't spot the weapon whatever it was.

"Where is the weapon? What is it?" he asked quietly.

"A snake! It was a snake!" Ashihei hissed back. "It was on Sumiko right before you came in but now it's gone!"

"Did you recognise the species of snake? Did anyone see where it slithered off to?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"It was purple. With olive green stripes." Katai added helpfully.

Itachi blinked down at them. Purple with olive green stripes. Right. He was sceptical as all hell, but there was no time to argue now. He needed to get these people away from here. He crawled on and then dropped down onto the ground when there was no chance of dropping down on a hostage. Drawing a kunai from his pouch, Itachi crouched down next to Katai and started carefully cutting through the ropes that bound him.

"You work very fast, Uchiha-san. You've barely been here half a day and already things are coming to a head." Katai said.

"How did you know it was Toyoko?" Ashihei asked.

"I didn't. I hadn't gotten quite that far yet." Itachi replied.

People stared at him once more, again seeming to wonder if there was something wrong with him.

"What?" Itachi wanted to know.

"You had no idea who it was? The way you were going around, this one thought you knew everything already and were simply doing it in order to flush out the perpetrator!"

Itachi sighed and flickered Ashihei's nose. He had had quite enough of these people. "You have quite a weird view of shinobi skills. This is an investigation; I came here to investigate possible murders. I had no more information than what you gave the village when you requested a shinobi. We aren't omnipotent no matter what you think. Now, let's get out of here."

As soon Katai was free, he helped Itachi untie people, and soon Itachi stepped back and let the hostages untie each other while he went to the door and looked up and down the corridors. It was weird that Toyoko hadn't returned. Any normal bad guy would return to the hostages as soon as they lost sight of Itachi, but she hadn't. It could mean that she was setting up a trap somewhere, or it could further support his theory that she wasn't a trained shinobi or had ever been in a real battle before. Well, he corrected himself, the speed she had chased him at was definitely not normal, it was enhanced with chakra. So she had some rudimentary training in the shinobi arts, but most likely didn't have the stamina or strength to really keep up. But what did all that add up to?

"Why does your sister have shinobi training?" he turned to Ashihei when the young man walked up to him.

Ashihei blinked. "What? This one's…. my sister does not have any training whatsoever. She would have no need for it, she has no need to work a single day in her life, we have the money to provide for everyone. Why do you ask?"

Itachi looked at Katai. "Do you know anything about this training? Because she definitely has some."

"No, I…" Katai sighed and shook his head. His children were with him, the baby in his arms and the young child clinging to his pants. "I don't think she does. Well, until today I didn't think she did. I have no idea when she could have learned it either."

"Did she take a trip? Long walks? Anything like that happen?"

"Well… yes, she was always fond of long walks." Katai admitted and Ashihei nodded. "Here at this family home she would always have an escort, but I didn't think she needed that when we moved into our own house. She's a grown woman, I always figured she could take care of herself."

"Instead she ended up slightly trained and with a plan to kill you all." Itachi nodded and ignored the effect of those words, the glares and the depressed looks and the fear in the room. He was presented with another problem: how the devil was he going to get this group of fifteen people to safety? He could really use some help right now. Like that shinobi who had been sent to watch him during this investigation. Where was that person? Why hadn't they taken action while there were civilian lives at stake?

'_Bloody shinobi.'_ He grumbled.

Being unable to instantly clone himself was a real disadvantage when your team was a one-man team, and you were it, Itachi reflected with a comical pursing of his lips. He briefly wondered if the shinobi had some way of cloning themselves, and privately promised himself to check it out the second he got back to Konoha, then focused on the task at hand: getting everyone to safety and apprehending Toyoko and whatever snake-weapons she was using.

Itachi looked at the hostages. "So this is how we're going to do it: you guys will be very silent and take the back way out of the house and the gardens and run like all hell down towards the village. I'll do a quick search through the house for Toyoko and either confront her or follow you to make sure she doesn't attack you while you flee. Be wary of snakes and tall grass." He didn't leave any room for arguing.

And apparently that was the way to go, for everyone listened to him and filed out and away in two neat, practically silent lines.

Itachi was rather impressed, he had expected flock mentality and panic to have them running like headless chickens straight towards danger. Well, he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth and stood there waiting until he couldn't hear the escapees move about anymore, then headed in the opposite direction. Using chakra to speed himself up, he had soon searched throughout half the house and decided that it would be best to go outside and shout a challenge. Certainly would be faster, especially if he included some good old fashioned insulting and 'yo momma's.

As it turned out he didn't have to do that at all for Toyoko stood in the middle of the courtyard and was obviously waiting for him.

"You have ruined everything!" Toyoko almost shrieked the second she spotted Itachi.

"What have I ruined?"

"The plan! His plan!"

There was a 'his' here too? Who the hell would this 'his' be anyway?

"His plan was perfect until you showed up! You ruined it!" she threw herself at him, attacking him head on and with some chakra powering her movements.

Itachi yelped and hurriedly scrambled out of the way. His leg caught hers, she stumbled and fell to the ground. Toyoko rolled to break her fall, unfortunately Itachi didn't. Tripping Toyoko up had tripped up himself, he flailed with his arms and fell over right onto her. Toyoko screamed 'rape' and swung at him. Itachi managed to roll off of her just in time to avoid being bit by a snake that had shot out of her sleeve.

He rolled to his knees and stared wide-eyed at the snake that now hissed angrily at him. It was about a metre long, coloured in a mottled pattern of various shades of green, and Itachi really had no idea where the hell she could have kept the damn thing.

"I see even someone like you fears his snakes!" Toyoko grinned and held out her other arm. Another snake – this ones with a weird orange pattern – slid out of her sleeve. It had to be over two metres long and it started circling Itachi in the opposite direction of the green snake. "Here you go, another one for you to play with. And while you're busy I will go and have another chat with my family."

Because of the snakes circling him at a surprisingly quick speed, making fake lunges at him, Itachi could only stay still and watch as Toyoko went through the house and towards the back. If she used chakra to speed herself up then it wouldn't take her long to catch up with the fleeing people. Toyoko wasn't very well trained compared to the shinobi Itachi had met and seen in Konoha, but compared to her family and all the servants then she was way above their level. If she could pull any other tricks out of her sleeves – literally speaking – then they would be dead. It would be a massacre.

Turning his attention back to the circling snakes, Itachi stared at him. They were still circling him in opposite directions, still making fake lunges and hissing threateningly. Itachi wasn't a snake expert, but he was pretty certain that normal snakes didn't act like this at all. It had to be some sort of shinobi art. Toyoko hadn't made any hand signs that Itachi had seen, so he didn't think the snakes were created from a run-of-the-mill jutsu – was that even possible? It didn't seem possible to simply force ones chakra into a shape and make it living. Chakra needed constant flow as far as Itachi knew and from what he had experienced.

That meant that the snakes had to come from somewhere else. There was no place in Toyoko's clothes to hide snakes, and people would have noticed hissing anyway. Besides, as noted earlier, these snakes weren't acting normal at all. As far as Itachi could understand it meant only one thing: the snakes had been summoned, probably with that summoning technique thingy that the shopkeeper had briefly mentioned before Itachi left Konoha.

'_They were probably summoned by this 'he' person she kept mentioning. Summoning live things has to take a lot of energy and chakra, and Toyoko has less chakra than me.'_ He thought to himself as he watched the two snakes.

How the hell was he to deal with two snakes that were probably shinobi-influenced in some way or other, and who probably could tear him apart in the flick of an eye?

Somehow screaming like a little girl and running in the opposite direction didn't seem like quite the thing to do right now.

"I don't suppose you two would be willing to simply let me go, would you?" he asked the snakes, then yelped when the orange one lunged at him. Itachi rolled out of the way, only to have to suddenly change direction in order to avoid the second, green snake. During the roll he bumped a hand against his shins and cut it up slightly on the senbon needles hidden inside the bandages. In the same movement he grabbed the needle tip and pulled it free. A moment later Itachi stuffed it point-first into the green snake's mouth and up into its brain, and it disappeared in a puff of smoke. The second snake launched itself at him, literally jumping off the ground and flashing orange in the sun, and Itachi reacted and threw the needle at it. The snake writhed and hissed as it was pinned to the ground on its back, the needle piercing straight through its throat. It disappeared a second later in a bigger puff of smoke.

Staring from the bleeding puncture wound on his thumb from how he had held the needle when he threw it, and the two disappearing and dissipating puffs of smoke, Itachi blinked stupidly and wondered what the hell just happened. It had all gone so fast, he had reacted so instinctively, and he had somehow managed to survive this.

"Right. Alive. Heh." He muttered and picked up the senbon needle with the same care one would pick up a ticking bomb, and looked at it for a second. Then he shook his head. "Save the people first and then have a mental breakdown and think over things. I can do that. Right."

He got to his feet and jumped up onto the roof of the house to get a better view of things.

At the edge of the vast gardens he could see a snake even bigger than the ones he had met before. It had a body as thick as a tree and it was extremely long, the kind of snake people had nightmares about, and it was lunging at Ashihei and Katai who were blocking its way. Toyoko stood on top of the snake and directed it. She didn't seem too much in a hurry to actually get past Ashihei and Katai and chase after the fleeing staff of her former household.

Senbon needles were useless at this distance and with such a large snake. Itachi let the needle drop and drew one of the kunai from the pouch on his thigh. He looked down at it, shifted his grip and tried to remember what Sasuke and Hinata had said about holding and throwing the kunai, aimed and with a bit of chakra enhancement in his arm, threw the first kunai as hard as he could. The first was followed by three others. As he had already experienced the bigger the snake the harder it was to make it go puff and disappear in smoke, and Itachi couldn't aim all over the place either since he had to be careful not to accidentally hurt Ashihei and Katai. So he aimed for the thick coils of the tail and hoped for the best.

The kunai all hit their target, but they only served to anger the snake. It hissed in fury and whirled around, mouth open and fangs dripping with poison that corroded anything it touched.

"Kill him!" Toyoko shrieked from atop the snake. It covered the distance between them at an alarming speed for something so big. "He ruins his plans! Kill him!"

Itachi drew another kunai, one with an exploding tag attached from the pouch on his hip, but the snake was already there and swung at him. Itachi jumped up, was caught by the snake's nose and sent flying, and lost the exploding tag kunai mid flight. He rolled when he landed, but it still hurt like all hell and he gasped for breath. Before he could move an inch the coils of the snake had surrounded him completely, and were pinning down his legs and one of his hands. Open jaws as wide as Itachi was tall and fangs dripping with poison were bearing down on him.

There was no time to think and yet everything seemed to go in slow motion.

Itachi reacted.

Hand signs performed with one hand and a deep breath and…

"**Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu**!"

**XXIII**

There, done. Sorry it took so long to update.

Ye of little faith! You think I throw this arc in just to make it boring for you? Haha! My evil master plan has not yet been figured out!

And apparently I need to work harder at making mysteries if all of you managed to figure it out.

Thanks to:

Beloved Daughter, xrosepetalx, Weasel Fu, realdarkangel, ZiPeppe, Tharanee, Luck-of-the-Irishmen, Saturday101, Sblck, hannah, Jesse A. Harper, Slayer End, Silver, Tonnocal cherry-888, NighttimeFirefly, minniemousemom, Bored-is-my-favourite-word, Shizuku700, Dimensional Roamer, DemonicPride2001, XandyNZ, Josher, Barranca, Atashii Shujin, Chrysalis1986, KoiGirlPGSM, izzaboo22neo, Madeupmee, viviboo, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, darkwizard14, deitaionSSokolow, lovemejbxoxpo, OoNakuoO, stupid thing, Sacred3, laelruin, hman439, KuroitsukiNoMai, Teardrop, me, Lady Knight Keladry, VampyreSeeTheSun, ShinobiTwin05, alolha123, Metafury, Minirowan, Key Shinigami, Nafira, Eternal Cat Moon, Thunder of Life, Renart, DemonCatLady, Lucillia, nancy drew, Lady Briett, TropOverFlatSurfaces, Celestial Dance, kurokazeryuu, S, Kiseki no Tenshi, Wheelchairmaniac99, meltinglacier, Firehedgehog, TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba, maipigen, Xeximar, C.a.s, Impstar, Cheza the Flower Maiden, tsuki, A Midsummer Night's Dream, timunderwood9, and Rileyyy.


	24. Chapter 24

**Flip, Flop and Fly**

**Disclaimer:** I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** Like whoa, dude! An update!

Correct version up as soon as beta finishes.

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Everything was sort of muted and moving slow. The smell of smoke hung sour in the air. Grey soot, microscopic or in bigger flakes, floated through the air like a sort of thin fog. It mixed with the dissipating smoke from a summon having left the human plane of existence. And over it all, through it all, there was the horrible smell of burning flesh and clothes and hair.

Toyoko's corpse was still burning and smoking where it had fallen when the big snake disappeared.

Itachi sat on the _rouka_ running all around the house, taking comfort in the bite of splintered wood. He had been _so close_ when he had killed her. By fire. Roasted her. He stared at the evidences of his battle with Toyoko. The immaculate yard was messed up beyond recognition. And in the middle was the blackened, smoking corpse, like a morbid garden ornament.

It was both morbidly amusing and utterly disgusting.

Her short scream of pain still echoed in his ears.

Itachi felt a bit sick.

"Itachi-san!" Ashihei's voice brought him out of his trance. Itachi blinked and looked around as sound and normality seemed to return. Ashihei and the family and the servants had returned and were now looking around at the wreckage. A few brave souls approached Toyoko's corpse, but most looked utterly sick and were studiously avoiding it. Katai, however, was staring at what remained of his wife, looking crestfallen. Tears were starting to run down his cheeks and a couple of servants had him sit down just in case his legs gave out.

"Itachi-san!" it was Ashihei again. Itachi turned to him. "What happened? Where's the big snake? Is that over there really To-… my sis-…"

"Yeah. That is Toyoko." Itachi was kind of surprised just how calm he sounded. "She died quickly."

Ashihei swallowed thickly. "And the snakes?"

"Summons. They went back to wherever they came from. I doubt they will appear here again." Itachi tried to remove some soot from his blue uniform but ended up smearing it instead. "I am… sorry about your sister."

He stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. "So am I." Ashihei rubbed his nose. "I… I better get… I have to help everyone…"

"Of course."

Ashihei took a few steps away then stopped, shoulders slumped. "How could she do this to us? We ar- were family. How could she betray us all? For what? Why?"

"I don't know. There are so many reasons, reasons that we might understand or might not understand. Not without asking Toyoko-san, and it is a bit too late for that."

"As you say, it is too late." Ashihei started walking again. "We shall send the report and payment to Konohagakure as per contract."

Itachi simply nodded and watched Ashihei join the others in grieving around Toyoko's corpse. That had been a clear message that he had overstayed his welcome. He only delayed leaving in order to get his stuff from the room he had slept in, and then quickly left before anyone really noticed him.

It was time to leave Shirohanadani.

The place wasn't really living up to its name today.

**XXIV**

The journey back to Konoha was quick and easy, passing with Itachi hardly noticing it until he suddenly stood in front of the gates and was registering his return with the two ninja manning the desk. They told him that the Hokage had requested a meeting as soon as he got back, and Itachi only sighed tiredly before heading off towards the big, tall tower in white and red. Wherever he looked he could see ninja in the shadows, flittering past civilians without the civilians even suspecting just how close they came to death. An Academy class was doing a mock mission for a local grocer, helping to weed his fields and pull out the vegetables that were ready. In a year or two a good deal of those kids would be out in the world, killing, helping, murdering, dying.

Konoha felt a bit darker than before.

Or perhaps that was Itachi himself.

He sighed again and entered the Hokage Tower and headed straight up the stairs, ignoring the mission room and the many ninja coming and going as he passed it.

"You are expected." One of the ANBU guards said and opened the door when Itachi approached.

Itachi nodded and entered and the door was shut quietly behind him.

The Hokage stood in front of the windows and gazed out onto Konoha, pipe in hand and smoking slightly. "How are you doing, Itachi-kun?"

"About as well as expected." Itachi walked up to the des and started snooping around in the drawers for pocky. He really needed pocky right now.

"Oh?" Sarutobi turned slightly to look at him.

"Aha!" he pulled the packet out and sat on the desk. The first two sticks were eaten with lightning speed. "Yeah."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not really, but you'll probably send me to some sort of therapist if I don't. I don't like shrinks. They shrink your brain." Itachi nodded very seriously.

The Hokage's eyes twinkled slightly. "Indeed? Well, I can assure you that Inoichi-san wouldn't, ah, shrink your brain."

Itachi ate some more pocky before he gave in. "It's a big difference, you know? Killing someone with a gun and from a long way away is very different to actually being face to face with them and roasting them to death with a fireball coming from your own mouth. I assume that the Council's spy has already reported all the sordid little details to you, and you know what? I'm really angry at that person whoever they are! They could have helped me, could have helped stop the damn situation and they did nothing. And I'm really starting to dislike snakes. And politics. Did you know that 'politics' means 'many little nasty critters sucking you dry of blood'?"

"You are rambling, Itachi-kun, and not your normal rambling."

"Yeah, well, I'm entitled to rambling after fighting twenty foot snakes, thank you. I'm gonna have nightmares about that for years to come." Itachi huffed and stuffed a pocky stick into his mouth. "Next thing you know you'll tell me that zombies are real."

"I think you'll be fine, Itachi-kun, as long as you can make jokes about it." Sarutobi sat down in his chair again and Itachi slid off the desk to give the older man his space back.

"Yeah, probably. Doesn't mean that I like it any more."

"Had you liked it then I would have been worried."

Itachi grimaced at the thought. A worried Hokage seemed to automatically equal a panicking Konoha and a whole army of highly skilled ninja hunting his arse down for both torture and interrogation – and why wasn't he surprised that those two things went hand in hand in this place? – or simply a very quick death. If he was lucky.

He resolved to shake this situation off and go back to his blissfully ignorant self. It seemed the safest.

"You need me for anything else? That second mission thing that you mentioned perhaps?" he asked and deposited the empty pocky pack in the bin next to the Hokage's desk.

"Not at the moment, I'll send a scribe over to the Uchiha complex tomorrow to help write up your mission report. Until then you are free to rest up."

Itachi nodded and with a two-finger salute headed towards the doors of the office.

"Oh, and one more thing." Sarutobi looked quite content right now, the crinkles at the corner of his eyes deepening.

"Yes?" Itachi turned to look at him.

"Sasuke is awake."

The Hokage chuckled as the wind formerly known as Itachi breezed past him and out the window – barely stopping long enough to open said window – and continuing as a black blur jumping from rooftop to rooftop and heading straight towards the hospital in the distance. Sarutobi shook his head in amusement and started straightening up the papers that Itachi's abrupt exit had disturbed.

Ah, the youth of today.

He was starting to sound like Maito Gai.

**XXIV**

Itachi skid to a halt in front of the room where Team Seven was placed.

Actually he skidded past the door and crashed with a nurse before scrambling back but he ignored that part.

Opening the door carefully he looked inside. Sakura was gone but her bed wasn't straightened. She was probably just out with her parents or in therapy or just for a walk with a nurse. Naruto's blond spikes stuck out from underneath the covers and he seemed deeply asleep. Sasuke was sitting up in his bed, a small platter of slices of apple next to his bed as well as a small vase with a fresh flower. He was looking out of the window and hardly blinking. The window was open and let in the fresh air and a nice breeze, ruffling Sasuke's black hair and helping to keep the room comfortably cool.

Itachi entered the room fully and closed the door, and then walked over to Sasuke's bed and sat down on the chair that stood next to it. "Hey."

"Nii-san…" Sasuke turned around quickly and blinked as if he hadn't noticed Itachi entering the room. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here. I'm sorry that I didn't some sooner, I just got back."

Sasuke shook his head slowly. His neck was wrapped up lightly in bandages. "No, it's okay. I just thought that you had gone back to where you came from."

He snorted. "As if I'd do that before I knew that you were okay. And I'm still gonna stay for a while yet. I'm not going anywhere, Sasuke."

"Really?"

Itachi wasn't certain on how to read the emotion in Sasuke's voice. There was something odd in there, hidden and yet almost screaming at him to take notice. But if he took notice he would probably shatter Sasuke completely – the boy was trying to keep himself together so desperately – and that was the least thing that he wanted. Itachi simply smiled and produced a packet of pocky from a pocket. "Here, eat this. You can't go wrong with pocky."

Sasuke took it and slowly, hesitantly started to munch on the sticks. His movements were slow, languid, and almost empty in a way. His face was expressionless. But his black eyes told the story to anyone caring to look, and Itachi cared. He cared a lot. He would have to check out that therapist that the kids were getting just to make sure that the person was qualified and knew what they were doing.

"Want to talk about what happened?" he asked. Just because the kids got a therapist it didn't mean that Itachi was simply going to let it lie. This was his _brother_.

The younger boy sat silent and munching on pocky sticks. "No." He said finally.

"That's okay. I'll be here when you feel ready to talk. Okay?" Itachi pulled back and didn't push. He couldn't push, not this issue at least. If he scared Sasuke off then the boy might never talk, and Itachi really didn't want that to happen. He had to bring the conversation on to something else, change the mood. It wouldn't do for Sasuke to brood too much. And if Naruto's breathing was a bit too specific for him to be fully asleep then Itachi pretended not to notice and simply let the blond do whatever he wished.

"Did I ever tell you the story of the hobbit?" he asked with a smile.

Sasuke blinked. It was a reaction at least. "No."

"Well, I think you'll like this one so get yourself comfortable. Let's see, where to begin? Ah, yes, I know. _In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit_."

**XXIV**

Itachi sighed and leaned back against the tree.

Sasuke hadn't stuttered at all during their talk. Sure he was quiet and a bit… bland, empty, emotionless, but that could all be proscribed to the experience that he had gone through. It would take quite some time and some serious therapy to get the boy back to normal – or as close to it as they could possibly get – but Itachi was still praying for the best. Right then he would rather have the stuttering Sasuke back rather than this quiet shell. Naruto and Sakura probably had and would have similar reactions to things at first.

He really wished that Sasuke would confide in him, but he understood why Sasuke probably couldn't. Itachi was too close to him. Sometimes it was simply easier to tell things to a total stranger rather than someone you knew. Itachi had felt like that himself a couple of times.

Whoever it was that the Hokage assigned to the three teens better be a good therapist and better know what they were doing, or Itachi would unleash hell on them, on the Hokage, on the Uchiha and most likely on the rest of Konohagakure as well.

What with those damn politics Konoha's council would probably deserve it too.

Itachi really, really hated politics. Seriously really hated them. Useless things that only complicated everything and made him stressed and gave him a headache. He hadn't dabbled in them back in the Otherworld and he wanted to keep out of it here in Konoha. Only, because of the Uchiha Clan and his position in it he seemed to be pulled into politics one way or another.

It all came back to the Uchiha Clan, didn't it?

Those damned bastards would be better off being wiped off the face of the e-

"Yo!"

Itachi shrieked like a woman, jumped sky high and clutched onto a branch with arms and feet. His heart beat a mile a minute, doing its best to beat its way out of his chest, down the road and all the way back to New York, and his muscles were almost painfully tense as he clutched onto the tree with chakra and with nails biting painfully into the bark.

"You heathen bastard!" he pelted Kakashi with pieces of bark and whatever twig he could get his hands on. "What the hell did you think you were doing?! I could have died of a heart attack! Idiot!"

"Hey now!" Kakashi was smiling under his mask. "Is that any way to treat a poor, recovering man?"

"It is when he tries to put me in the grave, damn it!"

Kakashi chuckled and waved him down. "I have pocky and I might extend that offer for dango if you come down."

Itachi huffed and puffed, cheeks blowing up like a chipmunks before he finally gave in and carefully walked down the tree until he could safely stand on terra firma once again. "I hope you realise that I am not being bribed right now but that I, being the weak civilian that I am, came down on my own violation and because my chakra was running out. It has absolutely nothing to do with yummy pocky and delicious dango."

"Of course." Kakashi started on a slow walk to somewhere or other and Itachi walked with him. The silver-haired ninja seemed much better. He was obviously out of the hospital and back in his standard jounin uniform but probably not yet back on duty. His mask was new, too.

"So. Where are we going?"

"Towards town and then see where we end up."

"You have a knack for intricate planning." Itachi drawled.

Kakashi simply smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment." They walked in silence for a while before Kakashi spoke up again. "I heard that your parents have had a fight."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Mhm. Quite a row according to rumour ending with Uchiha Fugaku in the proverbial doghouse as it were."

"About damn time." He felt quite satisfied with this. He would have to check it out later on. It was amazing that he had barely been back in Konoha for a few hours, it felt longer. But the sun was barely starting to set and Itachi had arrived right before noon. So unless he had been knocked unconscious without knowing it and lost several days, then this was still the same day. The relativity of time was amazing.

Kakashi was watching him. "You seem a bit distracted."

"Not at all. I'm simply wondering on how to develop my growing hate and possible fear of snakes into a phobia and good character flaw that can draw women to me like ants to honey, and then I'm going to start my own harem and laugh very evilly as I take over the world."

"Oh? I thought the saying was 'bees to honey'."

"Out of all that I said that's what you noticed wrong? Never mind, I don't want to know. Anyway, I hate bees. I hate ants too, but I hate bees more." Itachi nodded as if he had just proclaimed world peace. He grinned as they reached the more populated areas of Konoha and headed straight towards the closest dango stand that he spotted. He was really developing a fondness for the sweets. "Come on. You promised me dango and pocky."

They sat down on one of the tables and ordered and Kakashi paid. Their order of sweets and tea arrived quickly and they sat in silence as they made their way through the first portion and ordered a second one. Itachi made Kakashi pay for this one too. "You're the one who asked me out on a date, so you pay."

"I am sorry to disappoint, but I quite like women. You aren't my type, Itachi." Kakashi replied in amusement.

Itachi waved a hand. "Details schmetails. Don't ruin my daydream here."

The silver-haired man chuckled and a dango disappeared mysteriously from the stick he was holding. "So…"

"So… what?" Itachi sipped his tea. Kakashi was eyeing him and Itachi stared back. There was something about the way that the man was looking at him that made Itachi tense. It was as if Kakashi was trying to figure something out, or – to be totally cliché – was looking into Itachi's soul in order to figure something out. Either way, Itachi didn't really like it. It made him twitchy. It made him wish for his stun gun.

He should have brought his stun gun on the mission. Could have avoided a good deal of… trouble.

"Nobody expects the Konoha ANBU?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Er… you heard about that?"

"Most people have. Rumour has it that the Konoha ANBU is the laughingstock of the ninja world."

"They'll live. I could have come up with something much, much worse."

Kakashi eyed him again and put his empty, clean dango skewer back on the plate. "I don't think that I want to know." He finally said.

Itachi grinned. "Good boy. You're learning fast."

The older man smiled as well.

**XXIV**

There, done. Please review!

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